He ignored my request and yanked the towel off my midriff. His fingers dug into my core.
I was dry.
I had no arousal when it came to sex with him.
“I'll be quick, babe.” He lowered his mouth to my bare chest and sucked on my nipple. He was so rough that I whimpered in pain. “Turn around,” he ordered.
“Your brother might see us.” My voice was weak. I didn’t want to say no to him, and I didn’t want Nate to see what we were doing.
“No, he won't.” He spun my hips so my back faced him. My gaze locked with Nate and I gripped the console table. Nate’s eyebrows pinched together, and I shook my head silently, letting him know everything was okay. “And everyone should know how good I fuck my wife.”
My eyes were glued to Nate’s as wet fingers circled my core.
Nate held the chair, and his jaw tightened. Could he see Julian behind me? Did he know what we were doing? Julian pressed his dick to my core, and I whimpered from the pain. Most of the time I let my mind wander, reciting the constitution or painting a city in my head. But I couldn’t do that this time. Not when Nate was looking at me.
It was wrong for him to see this. But worse was that I grew aroused from his gaze. I imagined it was him behind me, and that he was the one driving into me.
Julian continued to grunt. He sped up the thrusts and for the first time in a few years, I enjoyed it. It was only because I knew the arousal was for Nate.
I scanned his face. I imagined his body on mine. His lips caressing my skin. My hands dug into the table as an orgasm began taking over. “I’m sorry,” I mouthed to Nate and closed my eyes. The wood was cool against the skin of my forehead and I moaned in pleasure.
When I looked up, Nate was gone. Instantly, I felt empty.
Julian’s limp body fell over mine, and I knew he had finished. He pulled out and walked to the bathroom. My knees buckled, and I sat on the floor, my mind and heart conflicted.
Why did it feel as though I cheated on Nate with Julian?
Nate avoided me. I felt his anger radiating off his body. He was short with Delaney, and wouldn’t even look at Julian, who of course was oblivious to it all because he was busy schmoozing up to his boss. But I felt his coldness. When he smiled at his guests, it was fake. He kept his head lowered, and any time I tried to approach him, he found an excuse to walk away.
I wanted to hug him. I needed to apologize to the man I was having an affair with that I slept with my husband. That fact made me sick to my stomach.
Later that night, Julian left with his boss to test drive his new Maserati, Caleb had departed for a sleepover, and Delaney had enjoyed one cocktail too many and was passed out on the hammock.
Nate was saying his farewells to a couple while I cleaned up the plates and cups off the tables. I felt him come up behind me before I heard him. I turned and looked at him. He wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“You’re not talking to me now?” I kept my voice low.
“What is there to say?”
My tensed shoulders relaxed when he finally spoke to me. “Are you mad at me?”
“Why should I be?” He brushed past me. “He’s your husband. You can fuck him anytime you want.” He threw a casserole dish with force onto the table, and I jumped. “You can fuck him right on this table if you want.”
“Asshole,” I muttered and turned to walk away.
“Brie, wait.” His voice softened.
Hesitantly, I turned to face him. “I’m sorry.” He closed the gap between us. “I have no right to be mad.” Nate’s hand brushed my cheek. “I hate that he has you, and I don’t.”
“Nate.” I closed my eyes.
“I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am.” He lifted my chin, and I opened my eyes. “Give me some time and I’ll get over what I saw.”
I nodded and swallowed thickly. “I’d feel the same way if you slept with her.”
Nate brushed his lips against mine, and I sighed. “She’ll never be you.”
I whispered back, “He’ll never be you.”
Nate deepened our kiss. My mouth opened for him, and my tongue twirled around his. “Wait.” I pressed my hands on his chest. “Julian will be back any second, and Delaney is right there.” He took a step back. “You’re right. But I don’t know how much longer I can hold out without having you in my arms.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Not having you is driving me crazy.”
“I know.” I inhaled and placed a hand over his heart.
“Leave him and I’ll leave her.” He took my hand in his. His eyes scanned mine.
“Nate . . . ”
“You don’t have to answer me right now, but think about it.”
Before I could answer him, bright LED headlights turned up the driveway, indicating that Julian was home. Nate released my hand and walked over toward Delaney.
His request wasn’t that simple.
Living right on top of Delaney and Nate caused us to know what happened in each other's marriages. Things most married people hoped stayed hidden behind closed doors.
Caleb was home from camp, and with the new school year approaching, Delaney and Nate had hired him a tutor. It was a warm Thursday afternoon, my first day off in a few weeks, so I took the opportunity to clean the apartment. All the windows were open and a fresh air breezed through the house. Caleb sat on the deck, and Stephanie, his tutor, sat next to him as he busied himself with his workbook. From my apartment I could see that Delaney was busy on the phone with what I assumed was work related business. The kitchen window and sliding glass door were open in the event Stephanie needed her.
I tuned everything out and pulled out the bleach that I planned to use in the bathroom. A few hours later, I was finishing up the kitchen when the screaming began. Chills ran up my spine as Delaney's voice bellowed through my house.
“What's so difficult? It's fractions, Caleb!” Quickly, I rushed to the window. Peeking from the corner, I saw that Delaney was pacing the kitchen, shouting at the top of her lungs while poor Caleb kept his head down on the kitchen table. “I spent all this money on a tutor and yet somehow I'm still stuck with the stupid kid.”
I gasped at her remark and sank to the floor, hugging my knees as I prayed for it to stop. I wanted to run down and save him, but she was his mother.
“Your father is going to hear about this. No more TV or iPad for you.”
I jumped at the sound of gravel shifting on the ground below. I peeped out the window and spotted Nate exiting his car.
“Do you want to be the stupid kid in your class?” Delaney continued, oblivious that Nate was walking up the deck. I should have closed the windows and minded my own business, but I couldn't walk away, and my hands refused to close the glass.
The screen door slid on the track as Nate opened it further, followed by his harsh voice. “What's going on?”
“What's going on?” Delaney mocked. “What else would be going on. He's an imbecile.”
My hands rushed to my gaping mouth. Never had I imagined Delaney would be so cruel.
“Del, that's enough.” I didn’t need to see him to know that his hands were clenched at his sides. “Caleb, go to your room. I'll call you when it's time for dinner.”
You could hear a pin drop in the apartment as I waited for Caleb to get upstairs. A door slammed shut, and I jumped with fear.
Nate’s voice was crisp. “What have I told you about the way you speak with him?”
“He's my child too, Nate,” Delaney complained. “You think it's so easy, but you're always the good parent. He listens to you, and he makes my life a living hell.”
“Delaney, he's a child.”
“Bullshit!” She slammed her hand on a hard surface. “He's lazy, and he knows you'll cover for him. That's why he doesn’t pay attention to anything.”
“Then I'll get him a new tutor,” Nate barked. “I wasn't the best when it came to math, either.”
“Apparently, you aren’t the best at a lot of things,” Delaney said sni
dely, and immediately, I wanted to know what she was referring to.
“Fuck, Del!” Nate growled. “I’ve given you everything you wanted. I stood by your side when your parents bailed on you. I made an honest woman of you when you knocked on my door pregnant. When you wanted that boutique, I helped you build it. I built this goddamn fucking house for you. You had nannies left and right helping you raise Caleb. You send him to camp for the majority of the summer because you don't want to deal with your own child. And I've never questioned you as a mother. Ever.”
I’d never heard this side of Nate before. His anger had me crouched in a corner, petrified to move.
“So when I say enough—that I've had it with the way you’re treating my son—I mean fucking enough. Going forward, you are not to speak to him that way, do you understand me?”
“You make it seem so easy. Like I’m the malicious bitch.”
“It's not about being easy, Del.” His voice softened. “Children aren't easy. Raising a kid isn't a walk in the park, but goddamn it, we're doing the best we can. So what if he can't figure out fractions? He's a good kid, and you calling him stupid doesn’t help his confidence.”
“He runs my patience thin.”
“Fine. Going forward, I'll study with him.”
Delaney laughed. “Of course you’ll study with him. Here comes Dad to save the day.”
“What do you want, then? You're never happy. Tomorrow I'll leave work early so I'm here when Stephanie gets here.”
“I fired her.”
“Of course you did.”
“Whatever, Nate.” She stomped across the hardwood floors. “You figure it out.”
My heart ached for Caleb. I wanted to help, but I didn't know how. I wanted to run down there and assure Nate that everything would be fine. That he was a great dad. But I didn’t. I sat on the floor feeling like an intruder.
My phone beeped atop the kitchen counter, and it pulled me out of my trance. When I approached it, there was a message from Nate.
Nicole: I need your help.
Me: What's up?
Nicole: Can you tutor Caleb? He's struggling with fractions.
Me: Of course. You can bring him by the diner after lunch. He can sit in my booth and I’ll give him a few problems to work on.
Nicole: Thanks.
Me: Anytime.
Nicole: Did you hear it all?
I sighed.
Me: The whole thing. I'm sorry.
Nate: It's not your fault.
Me: Is it usually this bad?
Nicole: Over the last few years it’s gotten worse.
Me: Do you want to talk about it?
Nicole: There isn’t much to say. She doesn’t have any patience with him. I don’t think she was ready to be a mom.
My heart ached at the last comment. I wondered if she was tougher on Caleb because she knew he wasn’t Nate’s biological son. My fingers slid across the keypad as I typed out another message.
Me: Bring a Ziploc bag filled with Lego bricks tomorrow.
Nicole: Why?
Me: Trust me.
The following day, a cheerful Caleb pulled back the heavy glass door to the diner. His smile widened when he spotted me.
“Hi, Aunt Brie.” He greeted me with a warm hug.
“Hey, buddy.” I tousled his shaggy hair.
“Dad said you're going to tutor me. He said you were his tutor in college.”
I rested my hands on my knees so we were eye level. “Can you keep a secret?” I whispered, and Caleb nodded. “Your dad only passed his biology final thanks to me.”
Caleb gasped and looked back at his father. “Really, Dad?”
“It's true.” Nate chuckled. “If it wasn't for your Aunt Brie, I don't know what I would've done.”
I walked Caleb over to an empty booth. “You have the Legos?” I asked Nate. He lifted a gallon-sized Ziploc bag for me. “Perfect.” I shook the bag. “How are things at home?”
Nate chuckled. “Is that a rhetorical question?”
“That bad?”
He sighed and his hand massaged the back of his neck. “It’s been bad before, but I think this is the worst she’s been.”
“What do you think caused it?”
“I don’t know. She went into the hospital to deliver Caleb and came out a completely different person. I know they say having a child changes you but she’s done a complete one eighty.”
“I’m sorry.” I shrugged, offering him some comfort.
“It’s okay; he has me. And she’s not a bad mom. She just goes through these phases. But I have to head out for work. Thanks for this. I'll see you later.” I turned to walk away when Nate called for me.
“Brie?”
“Yeah?” I looked back at him.
“Thank you.” His lips were hidden between his teeth.
I smiled. “Anytime.”
Caleb sat in the back corner booth. He had his workbook out and was ready for me. I dumped half the Lego bricks on the table and showed him the trick about fractions and Legos.
“Wow,” Caleb said when I showed him how easy it was to put his Legos together like the problem on the page.
“Now, using the Lego bricks, try to do the problems on your worksheet. I'm going to check on some customers, but I'll be back.”
Caleb nodded and started on the first problem. My heart swelled when he took the bricks and replicated the problem. He wasn’t stupid. He was a bright young boy, and for the first time I wished he was mine. I never wanted children, especially not with Julian, but helping Caleb made me want one of my own.
Or maybe I could be the cool stepmom.
I brushed the thought out of my mind quickly.
I was the cool aunt.
Chapter 32
Brielle
Stolen moments turned into borrowed time. Glances weren't enough. Text messages didn't seem to satisfy our need of each other.
We both wanted more.
It was early August, and Nate and I were in a full-blown emotional affair—the worst kind. I never gave him an answer about leaving Julian, but he took what I was willing to offer. We spoke on the phone every day, and he told me about his day. We had lunch together when we could fit it into our schedules, and when Delaney had to work late at her store and Caleb was with his grandmother, Nate and I ran away to the movie theater and made out like teenagers. I came home with my lips bruised and an unbearable ache between my legs. Like a schoolgirl, I was sneaking around with my boyfriend.
I was in love.
But when we were around our significant others, we acted as if nothing ever happened. He was the man I loved and my best friend all in one.
We had rules as well. We couldn’t touch each other when we were home, so instead, we went on hikes so he could pin me up against a tree and kiss me until my lips were bruised. We had lunch in a hidden parking lot. And we both found any excuse to be near each other.
It was toxic and intoxicating all at once.
Julian was working overtime and we had saved enough money to buy a second car. I'd worked the graveyard shift and had just pulled in the driveway when my cell phone buzzed.
Nicole: I'm downtown. I want to see you.
I felt a smile appear on my face. Before I could reply, another message came in.
Nicole: I need to be with you.
Me: Give me an hour.
As I jogged up the stairs, my heart felt as if it would explode out of my chest, but I would do this. I would say fuck that line and run past it. The guilt that should have brewed in me was nowhere in sight. I was tired of never giving myself what I wanted.
Before I hopped in the shower, I sent Julian a quick text message.
Me: Hey, they need me to do a double today. Do you want me to bring you home dinner?
Julian: No, it's OK. I'll grab something with Todd.
I knew he would decline the offer. He hated the diner food, but at least it made my excuse seem realistic, and he wouldn’t come looking for me. I showered, made su
re every inch was perfectly lathered and lotioned, and then I picked out the sexiest bra and panties I owned.
When I got in my car, I sent Nate a text message.
Me: Where am I meeting you?
Nicole: I'm at the Ritz. Room 1103.
I glanced in the rearview mirror. You got this.
Anxiety crept up my body as the miles passed and I approached the downtown area of Charlotte. Traffic was minimal, but still I drove at a slower speed than normal. I was nervous. It had been ten years since Nate and I were together. I was a girl then, but I was a woman now. And the boy I fell in love with had turned into a man. The butterflies in my stomach refused to calm their wings.
I valeted my car and walked through the lobby of the upscale hotel. The vibrant wine colored walls made the large space feel warm. I kept my head lowered to avoid anyone spotting me, and my heart beat in my ears as the elevator rose to the eleventh floor. There was no turning back now.
My palms were sweaty, and I wiped them on my shorts before tapping lightly on the door. The few seconds I waited for Nate felt like hours. When the door pulled open, my eyes landed on the man before me.
His dark navy blue suit was tailored to fit his taut body perfectly. His tie was loosened and dangled from his periwinkle blue shirt. He looked absolutely delectable. The nerves I felt about being with him disappeared, and within seconds all I cared about was being tangled in the sheets with him.
“Hi,” I whispered as walked in.
A boyish grin grew on Nate's face. He closed the door behind me, and I spun back to face him. He lifted me into his arms in one swift motion. My back was pressed against the wall as his mouth claimed mine. Hungry and carnal, his fingers dug into my thighs, and I felt his erection pressed to my core.
I moaned into his mouth as I slid my hands up his virgin wool suit and wrapped them around his neck. Soft lips traced down my cheeks, across my chin, and down to the hollow of my throat.
“Hi,” he finally whispered back. His breath caused goosebumps to appear on the sensitive skin there. Nervously, I giggled as Nate continued to kiss my neck gently. “What's so funny?” he asked, his warm breath tickling my skin.
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