These Are The Voyages, TOS, Season One

by Cushman, Marc

  SOUND BITES

  - Kirk: “I didn’t quite hear that, Mister Stiles.” Stiles: “Nothing, sir.” Kirk: “Repeat it.” Stiles: “I was suggesting Mister Spock can probably translate it for you.” Kirk: “I assume you are complimenting Mister Spock on his ability to decode?” Stiles: “I wish I were sure, sir.” Kirk: “Here’s something you can be certain of, mister. Leave any bigotry in your quarters; there is no room for it on this bridge. Do I make myself clear?” Stiles: “You do, sir.”

  - Dr. McCoy: “Jim, attack begets attack; it doesn’t stop war. Galactic war! Do you want that on your conscience?!”

  ASSESSMENT

  “Balance of Terror” offers thought-provoking entertainment, and two milestones for the series. This is our introduction to the Romulans, one of two recurring opponents of the Earth-led Federation (conceived to correspond to the enemies of 1966 America). This is also the first episode to deal directly with the issue of racial bigotry. In doing so, we learn more about Spock’s background. Spock himself shares this information, saying, “If Romulans are an offshoot of my Vulcan blood, and I think this likely, then attack is even more imperative. Vulcan, like Earth, had its aggressive, colonizing period. Savage, even by Earth standards. If the Romulans retain this martial philosophy, then weakness is something we dare not show.”

  This episode provides a strong reminder of Roddenberry’s inspiration for Kirk’s character. Robert Justman said, “Captain Kirk was Hamlet, the flawed hero. Gene told me that, early on, he modeled him on Captain Horatio Hornblower and he had characteristics of Hamlet, who knows what he has to do but agonizes over it, feels -- as Hornblower did -- that he had to put on a brave front for the sake of his crew.... He wasn’t strong enough, and yet he had to be strong because otherwise, they would have no one to protect them.” (94-6)

  The following passage of dialogue came from Roddenberry’s script rewrite.

  Kirk: “I look around that bridge and see the crew waiting for me to make the next move -- and, Bones, what if I’m wrong?” McCoy: “Captain...” Kirk: “I don’t expect an answer, Bones.” McCoy: “But I’ve got one. In this galaxy, there is a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all the universe, three million, million galaxies like this. But in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don’t destroy the one named Kirk.”

  In a very subtle and effective way, “Balance of Terror” accomplished Roddenberry’s aspiration to be the 1960s’ equivalent to Jonathan Swift and to make commentary on current events through the actions of characters far in the future. One of the hottest disputes in 1966 involved the Demilitarized Zone dividing North and South Vietnam. The troops of North Vietnam continued to pour across the DMZ into the South, carrying out their military strikes, testing American defenses, then retreating to the safety of home. The actions of the Romulans in “Balance of Terror” were clearly designed to mimic the tactics of the Viet Cong of this era.

  The episode is marred by a notable flaw: The Romulans speak English amongst themselves. NBC was not likely to agree to sub-titles, nor was there time or money to devise a language for the aliens.

  THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY

  Script Timeline

  Paul Schneider’s story outline, ST #18: April 14, 1966.

  Schneider’s revised story outlines, gratis: April 26 & 29, 1966.

  Schneider’s 1st Draft teleplay: May 20, 1966.

  Schneider’s 2nd Draft teleplay: June 3, 1966.

  John D.F. Black’s polish (Mimeo Department “Yellow Cover 1st Draft”):

  June 21, 1966.

  Black’s script polish -- undesignated revised draft: July 2, 1966.

  Gene Roddenberry’s rewrite (Final Draft teleplay): July 14, 1966.

  Roddenberry’s second rewrite (Rev. Final Draft teleplay): July 18, 1966.

  Additional page revisions by Roddenberry: July 19, 20, 21, 22 & 25, 1966.

  Paul Schneider got his start writing Mr. Magoo cartoons. By 1966, at 42, he had numerous TV credits such as multiple episodes of Bonanza and Barbara Eden’s first series, How to Marry a Millionaire. Roddenberry had hired Schneider to write a script for The Lieutenant. But science fiction was new terrain for the writer. It should come as little surprise then that Schneider’s first Star Trek was a reworking of a non-science fiction property.

  “Balance of Terror” is based on the 1957 movie The Enemy Below, in which the captain of an American destroyer (Robert Mitchum) pursues an elusive German submarine (with its skipper, played by Curd Jurgens). In that story, as the action alternates between the American ship and the U-boat, we get to know and respect both the captains who are very nearly equally matched and engaged in a deadly game of chess and we see the strain a prolonged encounter can take on the crew.

  Roddenberry later said, “We had touched on that in [‘The Corbomite Maneuver’] -the conflicts that come from men confined together and in prolonged danger, as in submarine warfare. Then we added in the racial mistrust. The character elements came together without too much trouble. The problem was doing a war story [on a TV budget].” (145)

  Schneider sent a note along with his first try at the epic sci-fi story outline, telling Roddenberry:

  It’s long and full-blown, but I think it’ll make a hell of a show. The only thing I feel uncertain about is the production areas. But I don’t doubt that, if my concepts are too expensive, we can find ways around. Let me know. P.S. -- 31 pages means I enjoyed writing this one. Mostly. (PS8)

  An outline is typically much shorter, but Schneider’s enthusiasm led him to flesh the story out in greater detail and with added description. Roddenberry wasn’t about to forward a 31-page treatment on to his overworked staff, or NBC, and wrote back to Schneider:

  We need a faster opening and a stronger hook. Suggest that we should already be somewhat mid-story, i.e. “tension on the bridge,” as they seek a Romulan craft, which has violated the treaty and is somewhere out here in Earth’s area of space…. Before we are more than a page or two into it, Kirk decides to go ahead with the wedding…. Then, as in the outline, just as they start to dress for the wedding, the enemy craft has been sighted. Teaser FADE-OUT. Now, opening ACT I, we can fill in more of the back story which otherwise would have slowed the teaser…. There are some very definite things we must do before sending to NBC. 1) Simplify much of the language. For example, in the dialogue there are a lot of words I can’t even pronounce, much less understand. Also, we should make an effort to simplify some of our descriptions of weaponry, and force fields, and so on. These things are interesting and well-done, but they get awfully scientific and I think where possible we’d be better off to use general descriptive phrases rather than science-fiction words – for example, instead of visual radar sweeps, we could much more simply say that the “bridge instruments register nothing out there yet.” … Not that any one description would foul us up, but the sum of it is a bit frightening – and leads to the next comment: 2) Let’s come up with a clearcut analysis of what the enemy ship can do and what our ship can do and devote an early paragraph to it, explaining in the simplest possible words. For example, I don’t know if this is right, but we could state that the Enterprise has phaser weapons and the Romulan ship has these torpedo energy bolts; the Enterprise has one way of hiding, the enemy ship has another, etc. Also, when we get to the script, let’s let the pictorial aspects of our story explain for us – in other words, an instrument lights up and begins to make an alerting sound and instead of getting into too many specifics of what it is and what it does, we simply have the man at the instrument inform the Captain that the enemy vessel is doing such and such, or is so far away, or whatever. Indicating this will work very well for us in the fact that I doubt if the motion picture audience in a submarine/destroyer tale really understands what sonar does and if the writer of that motion picture had had them talking about the technical aspects of it – and sonar does have its complexities too – the motion picture audience would have been lost…. It would be very i
nteresting, and perhaps this is your intention, if we make it very clear that the Enterprise is out-weaponed by the enemy ship, but the problem of the enemy ship is that to use this terrific weapon means enormous expenditure of fuel. Thus, we get into a situation of Kirk guessing at the truth and taking huge risks to diminish the enemy’s fuel supply, so that he finally gets the advantage. (GR8-1)

  Roddenberry had Schneider tighten his outline, which the writer agreed to do at no charge, pruning 31 pages back to 23, with the new draft arriving on April 26. Roddenberry wrote to his staff:

  There is an awful lot of production in this. This is Bob’s area, and I’m sure he will have many comments. But I feel Paul has a fine action story here. If, as in The Enemy Below, this can be played primarily as a battle between Kirk and the commander of the other ship, we will have an excellent Star Trek. Certainly it gives a light on Kirk not shown in other stories we now have in work. Our main problem will be to cut down on all the production and concentrate on the men, if at all possible... cut down on the sci-fi technical and battle terms... keep it straight and simple -- a battle between two strong men of honor, each carrying out his duty, in which one must, sadly, lose. (GR8-2)

  Robert Justman did as Roddenberry asked -- he looked the treatment over. Then he did as Roddenberry expected -- he got upset. Justman wrote back:

  I must say that there are certain basic elements in this piece which will make it well-nigh impossible for us to produce it. Just the miniature and optical work alone can wipe us out. The physical special effects on board our ship and the other ship are an added burden to our costs. Also, we have a whole bunch of crewmen and principals on board the alien vessel…. They will all have to have extensive makeup time. This necessitates additional makeup personnel to handle same and also the cost of making all the additional ears to fit. It also entails haircuts, eyebrows, and the yellowish complexion. It also entails special wardrobe for these people…. Certainly the story itself is of classic proportions within the medium of film. But I must register strong objections to this project. It’s a simple matter of just not being able to afford this kind of show. I hate to be negative, but I see no other way out. (RJ8-1)

  To help save money and, at the same time, capture the feel of The Enemy Below, Roddenberry and Schneider decided to give the Romulan ship the advantage of being elusive, as a submarine can be, and hatched the idea of the cloaking device. Matt Jefferies was thinking “submarine” as well when he submitted his set design -- the bridge of the enemy ship would be cramped and even have something resembling a periscope at its center.

  To further capture the feel of a destroyer vs. submarine tale, Roddenberry and Schneider decided that in this episode the Enterprise’s weaponry would be fired through a chain of command -- Kirk to helmsman, then passed on to the phaser control room -- just as a destroyer captain’s orders would be relayed to an officer on the deck manning the depth charges. The Enterprise phasers are depicted here as energy blips instead of beams. The reason -- besides drawing another parallel, this time with that of a destroyer’s depth charges -is that Kirk has ordered the weapons be “set for proximity blast.” In future episodes, the blips became photon torpedoes. Another nod to the destroyer/submarine parallel was to have the Romulans flush debris out of a weapons tube to simulate wreckage.

  Another free rewrite from Schneider trimmed the outline further, and then Roddenberry sent this third draft to NBC. Stan Robertson responded, writing that “Balance of Terror” had “the potential of becoming an excellent action-adventure story.” His letter continued:

  Since, in reality, this is a “war story,” let’s play it as one, utilizing all the cross-cutting, interwoven stories, mounting tension, battle scenes, camaraderie, human cameos, etc., which has been characteristic of the most successful of these types of dramas…. Let’s not let the writer take the “easy way out” and turn this into a story in which the engagement between the two space ships becomes more dominant than the dramatic effects which they initiate. We all know that one of the major factors for All Quiet on the Western Front being considered a film classic is the effect and ravages of the war had on the people. More specific: we would suggest that you build in the story of the young people planning to be married in the midst of all this chaos. While some may consider this “corny,” or in the vein of a “cliché,” actually it is a very warm and human touch.… Interwoven with the scenes of battle and death, this love story should play well, particularly in view of the poignant twists at the end…. The relationship between our Captain Kirk and the captain of the alien ship should be played for all it is worth. The alien is a hero, just as much a hero and a dynamic man as is Kirk…. The point is very clear that, by enhancing our alien Captain and the courtesy and respect given him by Kirk, we are adding greater heroic proportion to our own star. (SR8-1)

  Schneider turned in his first draft script on May 20. Four days later, Justman wrote John D.F. Black:

  This is a very exciting screenplay and was highly enjoyable for me to read, when I could forget my monetary problems. (RJ8-2)

  Justman, being Justman, had several pages of notes regarding even a script that he found to be exciting and highly enjoyable to read. He told Black:

  In Scene 22, I find it hard to believe that Brenner [a character in this early version of the story] can put his hand on the wall and feel that the engines are putting out about half power. This is the U.S.S. Enterprise, not a ferryboat…. In Scene 25, Spock enters the Briefing Room. Where the hell was he at the beginning of this meeting?... On here, for the first time we establish the interior of the Romulan Vessel and its occupants. Suggestion is hereby made that most of the Romulans wear helmets, which would appropriately mask the need for creating Spock-like ears. Certainly, we could get the parts for Commander, Centurion and possibly Decius cast early enough, so that ear molds could be made. However, be quick to realize that this will involve a certain amount of money and fitting. (RJ8-2)

  Despite monetary concerns, and a fair amount of nitpicking, the material and the handling of the Romulan Captain impressed Justman enough for him to add:

  I must say that the part of the Commander, as written, is unusually well developed. This is a very good characterization on the part of our author. (RJ8-2)

  Schneider said, “It was a matter of developing a good Romanesque set of admirable antagonists that were worthy of Kirk. The Romulans [were] an extension of the Roman civilization, to the point of space travel.” (154)

  John D.F. Black said, “Paul was a known entity. When he came up with the Romulan characters, they were so wonderful -- I mean, they were full.” (17)

  Justman had another change he hoped to see before the script was developed further. He wrote:

  I suggest that before we submit this screenplay to NBC, we check over the “tag” sequence. As you know this is the burial sequence and might raise certain objections on the part of the Network to “Their ashes tendered full military honors.” In any event... I think it would be nicer always when possible to end our show with a shot of the Enterprise zooming away into the distance as it heads toward next week’s adventure and our beautiful original theme music swells up and grabs the hearts of one and all as they go back into the kitchen to get another can of beer. (RJ8-2)

  Roddenberry agreed about dropping the scene (and perhaps the beer), but he liked ending the episode on a somber note, leading to the bookending scene that takes us back to where we started in the ship’s chapel, as Kirk returns to console the bride-to-be, whose groom-to-be had perished in the conflict.

  Roddenberry also wanted Schneider to find opportunities to reinforce the lead characters’ personalities in the dialogue. He explained to the writer:

  The captain of the ship must maintain an image. To keep him from being stiff and lifeless and unlikeable, find ways in which the man “Jim” peeks out from behind the image. Three places in which this can be used: 1) when Kirk is alone or not being observed; 2) with McCoy -- he can level with the ship’s doctor; 3) to some
extent he can even talk to Spock because he respects Spock’s intelligence, integrity, efficiency. Under enormous pressure, let Kirk slip and then he is sorry for letting it show.... We may want to show a little more on the nose the Captain’s fatigue and agony at what they are doing. The lonely man in his stateroom -- possibly a McCoy-Kirk scene. Suggest playing this somewhere near script’s middle, showing the Captain exhausted, heartsick, etc. Balance this against the hardness he must show on the bridge. Consider giving McCoy a point of view different from the Captain’s since the doctor is a great humanist under his sharp surface. Articulate this in the Kirk-McCoy stateroom scene. (GR8-3)

  Roddenberry could easily envision the scene -- he had written something very much like it once before, between Captain Pike and Dr. Boyce in “The Cage.”

  Schneider turned in his rewrite on June 3. Again, Justman was quick to do his job as the series’ nuts-and-bolts producer, picking the script apart scene by scene, pointing out things that were too expensive and should therefore be dropped. He wrote John D.F. Black:

  Scenes 50 & 60 will cost one million dollars for Anderson to shoot. Would you believe half a million? All kidding aside, it is scenes like this that cause me to say that this show is going to be immensely over budget. And that is after quite a bit of money saving on the part of you and Gene with regard to the story itself. This show just has money built into it and there is not too much that I can see that we can do about it at this time…. On here, Scene 118, the Romulan ship is hit several times. Please take out any references to walls buckling. We have got enough effects and special construction in this as it is. The more I see of this show, the more I realize that it can bankrupt Desilu Studios all by itself. Just this one episode. (RJ8-3)

  Roddenberry, impressed with the input from Justman, wrote back:

  Agree with your comments almost completely. Want to try your hand at the script? (GR8-3)