Last Time She Died

by Niki Kamerzell

  Over her shoulder, she saw a face forming within the swirling yellow. Fear iced through her. She remembered the voice.

  It had chased her. She’d been in Lexi’s grave. She remembered it all. Hearing it again was like peeling away the layers of scar tissue keeping the voice from haunting her.

  His dry cackle had a physical presence and the cloud twisted around her, tugging at her hair and clothing. A jolt ran through her as she realized if she did nothing, he would kill her.

  “I will kill you.” His voice echoed around the space as if he could read her mind.

  “Where’s Dustin?” She hadn’t meant to speak, but he was gone. Had the…cloud killed him?

  “Worry about yourself.” The mass of yellow rushed towards her. The face behind the cloud became clearer. The power behind his words seemed to cause a storm and a strong wind knocked her on her back.

  “Why are you trying to kill us?” she choked out.

  His laugh echoed all around her even when he spoke. “It isn’t enough.”

  “What?”

  “Why you would give up all you know as an Essence to live such a short, simple life is just beyond me.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “When you die, your friends will be drawn out of the protective Ether.”

  As the cloud spoke, something gripped her neck. The shape of a hand formed, wrapped around her throat. Behind it materialized the arm and the rest of the body. A tall, powerful man wearing a yellow shirt stood where the mist was, as Cali struggled for breath.

  The yellow color drained from his skin, and Cali was surprised to find his face was familiar. His long blond hair floated in waves around his shoulders. His piercing blue eyes broiled with hatred as he choked Cali. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but the man in front of her was handsome. He didn’t look scary.

  And yet, his hands held her throat.

  Cali thrashed. The grip on her neck loosened and his fingernails raked over her flesh as she wiggled away. He swayed, caught off guard. Cali tried to remember what she’d learned from her few, very basic self-defense classes as she darted away from an overly telegraphed punch. When he swung again, she grabbed his wrist and pulled toward her hip. He fell toward her and she rammed her elbow into his face. Pain shot through her arm. He cupped his hand under his bleeding nose with a curse. Looking up at her, his watery eyes burned with a mix of anger and pain. She kicked him as hard as she could in the stomach. At the same time, he smashed a heavy fist into her face. As he doubled over in pain, Cali backed quickly away, ignoring her own pain and the blood dripping from her nose.

  “Blaine?” She slowed in her retreat as the name came to her.

  His eyes widened. “You remember?” His voice was choppy and pained.

  Cali shook her head. She didn’t, the name had just come to her. His name and fear. She didn’t want to remember him. She didn’t want to look at him. The world pitched and the air around burned away like heat melting plastic.

  When the walls came back together, they were a faded pale peach color.

  Apple red curtains billowed over an open window. The couch was green, the loveseat facing the couch was red, and a single white chair with a bold red and green flower pattern on it sat at the apex of the two larger pieces of furniture. At the center was a solid, dark wood table. The pale patterned carpet had a path worn into it. A boxy TV surrounded in wood with doors that closed over it, making it look like a short, stout cabinet sat on the floor.

  The smell of rotten eggs had vanished and she took a deep breath, trying to purge her lungs of the awful rotten stench.

  A noise, footsteps, maybe, at the far end of the room. Cali darted behind the horrible green couch. A girl who looked just like her came into the room. It was like looking in a mirror. The girl even had matching cuts on her face. Cali left her shelter and approached the doppelgänger. The twin didn’t so much as look her way. She wore a flowing rose colored halter dress. Her blonde hair was shorter than Cali wore it. Or at least it looked shorter with the tight curls pinned to her head. She was crying.

  Cali reached out to touch the girl when Dustin walked in behind her. He had on an olive-colored uniform with a variety of pins across his breast. He pulled the arm of Cali’s twin so she spun around and clutched her to his body.

  “I’m just so scared. I can’t lose you, Dustin.” The girl not only looked like Cali, she sounded like her, only with a southern accent. The double cried into his shoulder. It felt like watching a movie. She looked around, but there was no one else. Just the woman that looked like her, and Dustin.

  “I know, Cali.” His accent was just as southern as hers had been, and it was weird to hear Dustin’s voice that way. “I have to. It’s my duty.” Dustin held the girl tightly.

  “I know,” Cali’s twin said, gripping his shoulders at arm’s length. “You come back to me. You come home. You bring Leland back with you. Lexi will never forgive you if you let him die.” Her red-rimmed eyes held his. Something about the scene seemed out of place. It was as if she knew she was remembering a memory wrong.

  “Yes ma’am,” he said, his voice becoming shaky.

  A ripping sound tore Cali away from her twin and the yellow cloud was upon her. Blaine was laughing. Cali screamed out, and he grunted. Cali thought he sounded like he was in pain. He fell away from her and she saw the space around her for the first time. The flames. She’d almost forgotten the flames, but again they danced in front of her and brought her back to herself.

  They were farther away though—she was no longer in the fire. She watched the fire tearing at Dustin’s house. It was too hot. She dropped something hot that she’d been clutching and turned to run. She needed to get help.

  Someone grabbed at her hair, knocking her to the ground. As the dark spots dancing in front of her eyes expanded and took over, the overwhelming smell of sulfur bubbled around her. She heard his laugh and she couldn’t tell if he was real or all in her mind.

  ***

  “What do we do?” Alexia’s voice shook as the flames consumed the place where Dustin and Cali should have been. There was no answer. She asked again. Her insides twisted. Soft rain started to fall, but the fire didn’t slow.

  She looked toward Leland as a tear streaked down his face.

  “How long could they survive that?”

  He straightened. “They’re both still alive,” he said slowly. “Barely.”

  “They’re still alive? We have to get to them.” She took a deep breath. “Can we get through your window?”

  Leland shook his head. “I’m not strong enough.”

  “You have to be,” Alexia whispered.

  She turned back to the window and the rain poured down harder. The fire on the other side melted away everything and a thick cloud of smoke covered the window. As it cleared, Alexia realized the view had changed.

  “I can’t,” Leland said with closed eyes.

  Alexia focused on what she was seeing. She’d seen it before while remembering her past lives. She was looking at the living room of the house her and Cali’s past-selves had shared during World War Two, while the men were fighting overseas. It wasn’t quite right though. Instead of seeing Phyllis, Cali’s past-self, she was looking at Cali and Dustin.

  “I’m just so scared. I can’t lose you, Dustin,” Cali said.

  It wasn’t right. Dustin’s name had been Donald, and he hadn’t looked a bit like Dustin.

  “What is going on?” Alexia asked. “It’s wrong.” She’d visited this life herself. What she was seeing was similar, but not completely right. “You said they were still alive.”

  “They are.” His voice was firm.

  “Why is she seeing one of her past lives?”

  He shrugged.

  “Can Blaine take them to a past life?” Alexia asked.

  Leland shook his head,

  “How, then?” Alexia said, watching Cali kiss Dustin, who didn’t belong in that life.

  “She’s hi
ding in past lives.” Leland screwed up his face. “I’ve never heard of it. It’s the only way, though.”

  “Can they survive here?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “If we could get to them, could they live here?”

  He nodded. “For a while, yeah. But we can’t get there.”

  “We have to. They can’t die.”

  He raked his hands through his hair and for a minute, Alexia thought he’d pull it out. She focused and the rain drops got fatter and fell faster.

  He squeezed her hand. “You have to get into their minds.”

  Alexia dropped his hand. “How? Why?”

  “They are close to death and aren’t going to respond to you being in their physical location. You need to pull us into their thoughts so we can bring them here. This Ether is shaded.”

  “I don’t get it.” Her voice was flat. The rain slowed and stopped.

  “Their bodies won’t come here. Cali may be strong, but I don’t think she’s capable of it in her current state. Their Essences can come here.”

  “Won’t they die without their Essences?” Alexia gaped at them.

  “No. An Essence can leave its body. Especially an Essence like Cali.”

  “I don’t know how to get to her.”

  “You have to figure it out.” Leland wrapped his hand around hers. “It will be like the rain. You can do it.”

  “But I don’t have time to mess this up.” Alexia could feel fear rising in her spine. If she messed up, Cali and Dustin would die.

  “Then don’t,” Leland told her while he stared at the wall. It shimmered and flexed.

  “Do you need rain too?” Alexia felt overwhelmed.

  “It would help.”

  Alexia scowled. The window hadn’t been all that simple to open, even with her help. If she had to focus on rain and getting into people’s minds, she wasn’t sure it would even work.

  Rain slammed down like a bucket had been dumped on them. She tried to hold onto whatever piece of her was controlling it. She concentrated on the warmth of Leland’s hands. A tingling current began rushing over her joined hands. She heard a light click over the sound of the drops hitting all around her. She opened her eyes and looked at the window. It was different. Again she saw the fire, but the colors were sharper. She could feel the warmth from the burning wood, and there was an acrid smell drifting toward her. She couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, but, if she was right, this was the portal they needed. She focused on Cali, but only felt fear. A bolt of adrenaline shot through her veins. It passed quickly, leaving her cold and lost.

  “It isn’t working.” Alexia tried to keep her voice calm.

  “She is not dead.” Leland’s words were slow and deliberate. “But she is no longer in her body.”

  “What does that mean?” Alexia felt the rain sheet down even harder. “Is she in the past where we saw her?”

  “I’m honestly not sure.” His voice trembled. “Get to Dustin, first. He’s still in his body. It will be easier.” Leland’s voice was strained but clear.

  Alexia almost argued but decided against it. She didn’t know what she was doing so she just thought about the rain and about Dustin, a man she hardly knew. She walked up to the opening of the portal. Leland held onto her until she shook his hands loose. She reached her fingers toward the flame without thinking. Leland put his hand onto her shoulder and followed her in.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Cali watched the world spin in different shades of yellow as she lost her mind. She didn’t know where she was. Sometimes she wasn’t sure who she was. She only knew his name and the smell. Blaine. She hoped she was insane; she hoped he wasn’t real. Or it was all a dream...a dream which had only seemed to last for days but had only been a couple of minutes out of her night. A dream she could forget.

  He whispered horrible things to her, but she was able to push him away when he got too close. Knowing he was going to kill her had given her strength to fight. He always hit back, but she’d been able to escape and save herself each time he had confronted her. So far. Blaine danced around her and almost seemed reluctant to fight, but when she would try to move away, he would strike her. Sometimes a well-placed kick would knock him backward. Once, she head-butted him, but it had hurt like hell.

  At the moment, she was losing. She kicked at him and he blocked her and knocked her to the ground. Sliding across the floor, she smashed into the wall with a thud, and her eyes momentarily lost focus.

  “I’ve killed many Essences much stronger than you.” The horrible yellow cloud swirled around her. The sandy particles pressed around her as if blocked by a dome encasing her. Cali couldn’t see anything blocking him, so she wasn’t sure if he couldn’t reach her, or if he was arching around her on purpose. The familiar face appeared in the yellow and he glared at her. The acrid stench of his breath was much stronger than she remembered, and it turned Cali’s stomach. “I stole their powers and I used them to destroy more of you. Why do you think you are special? Why do you think you can escape? I killed your Alexia.”

  Her name coming from his mouth was like a gut punch but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of reacting. “What powers?”

  The cloud turned into a man. He brought his fist down hard on the dome around her. Cali heard a small crack, like a wine glass dropped on carpet. “You’re not special. Neither were they. I wanted what they had, and I took it.”

  “Why?” Her voice was weak. Surrounding Blaine were tiny, grainy wisps reaching through to her in growing fissures in her shield.

  “Why?” His voice boomed all around her. Whatever barrier there had been between them crashed away and the sand-like particles ground against her. He punched her in the face. “Why? We are all nothing and we are supposed to be happy never being anything. Essences exist. That’s all we do. We leave no legacy. No one cares. No one listens. Why should we all be forgotten?”

  His long blonde hair swirled around his face as he landed a punch in Cali’s stomach. “Because all of you have power. You did nothing to earn it. I was given nothing. It’s not fair. I will take it. I will matter.”

  Her stomach cramped from the blow and she gasped for breath. He pinned her to the ground with a knee and closed his hands around her throat. Thrashing did nothing and soon black dots floated in front of her eyes.

  “I don’t have what you want. I have nothing.” Her voice was raspy from his hands around her neck, but she wanted to keep him talking, hoping to distract him any way she could.

  “Liar!” he screamed.

  He pulled his handsome face to hers and the rotten egg smell surrounded him as if it emanated from the yellow floating mist. His icy blue eyes pierced her and his long hair brushed against her as she felt herself blacking out. She shifted kneeing him weakly in the groin. She pulled away as he flinched, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her hard to the floor.

  “You saw me. You have very strong powers, as does your whole little group. What is the phrase? Two birds, one stone. Kill you all, take your powers. She won’t join me, so what choice have you left me?” His voice was cold and unwavering.

  “You can’t do that.” Cali tried to sound angry, but instead she just sounded hoarse.

  “I can.” He leaned close to whisper in her ears, his prominent cheekbones rubbing her cheek. She tried not to shudder.

  “Lexi can stop you,” Cali said. She hoped it was true.

  Blaine shifted and Cali pulled her wrist away. She stood and wavered. The black dots returned and threatened to take over her sight. She backed away like a fawn on uneven ground.

  Yellow sand particles pulsated around Blaine’s face. “Her car burst into flames.” He laughed and Cali’s blood chilled. “She isn’t stronger than me.”

  Even though she was shaking, a new surge of adrenaline pushed its way through her. She wasn’t sure where she was, but she turned and limped down winding hallways which seemed to go on forever and lead nowhere.

  “I put her in that Ethe
r. You’re going to bring her out.” His voice echoed around the corners of the winding hallway. Cali was sure she heard doubt in his voice.

  Hallways and doors passed until his voice started to fade. She focused on getting away, on being anywhere but where Blaine was. Her feet slid across a waxed wooden floor and when she righted herself, she walked across the deck of a ship with Dustin. Leaning on the railing, a man held hands with Lexi. The next second, they were all in the water. The liquid swirled and she was pulled under.

  The water sucked her deeper and deeper and started evaporating around her, leaving her floating a above the ground. She looked down at the earth below and saw an old house. She saw herself dancing with Dustin by the shore to a folksy song. She didn’t get a chance to look too long, though. A cold hand reached for her shoulder and flipped her over. She was back in the water.

  Dustin swam toward her and pulled her hand. The water turned into a road and he was pulling her through the maze of uneven streets. “You can’t save her now, you know it,” he called as he dragged her.

  “The healer is this way,” she heard herself saying. She pulled back on his hand. They wound through a narrow dirt alley.

  “He will just steal your money. It’s a house of plague now. No one will help.”

  “I have to try. She’s going to die.” Cali felt the tears run down her cheeks.

  They turned one more corner and Dustin twirled her into him. Gone were the tears on her cheeks and all her previous worry; she was laughing. Her dress was heavy and tight. He wore a crisp suit. She kissed him and he twirled her again to the beat of the music.

  She let go of his hand and spun until the world around her was gone. Her new surroundings looked like a beautiful painting where everything was perfect and bright. She felt like herself, but she was in a place she didn’t recognize, and everything made sense when it shouldn’t have.

  Cali was terrified. She stood next to Alexia who looked just as scared as Cali felt.

  “What do we do?” Alexia asked, pushing Cali away from the doorway which seemed to grow out of the trees around them.