Taming The Viscountess
Page 15
“That’s a shame,” Mr. Hamil replied, “but I understand.” He crossed the gown and the amount it cost off the list. “You’ve been my best patron. I hope when you do need a new gown, you will come here.”
She nodded, and forcing back the urge to take the gown back, she said, “I will. You have the most wonderful gowns.”
He beamed at her. “Considering your eye for fashion, that’s a high compliment. Thank you, Lady Erandon.”
She turned away from him before she gave into the urge to cry. This was both embarrassing and depressing at the same time. Sebastian had no idea how hard it was to return all of these wonderful items. The gown, however, definitely stung the most. It was just as well that she got that one out of the way. The others wouldn’t be nearly as painful.
She passed Sebastian, deciding not to look at him. Even if she couldn’t bring herself to speak badly about him, that didn’t mean she was all that happy with him right now. She just needed some time to work through her emotions before she was ready to talk to him again.
She went to the carriage with her list, and the coachman handed her three boxes. A pair of gloves, a hat, and slippers. The coachman would have taken them in for her, but Sebastian had insisted she do it herself. This was his way of making sure she never went on a spending spree again without getting his permission first. She didn’t know if his intention was also to make her feel like a child, but that’s how she felt. She didn’t like having to go through this. She would have preferred to have had the coachman return everything for her. Then, at least, she wouldn’t have to bear with this humiliation.
If someone of notable influence saw her, word was going to spread through London. She didn’t know what the story would end up being. Either they were going to think Sebastian was a cheapskate or that they were destitute. But it was never a good sign when a husband made his wife return things. It usually sparked some sort of gossip about a couple’s financial status. No one was going to want to join her group if they thought her husband was one of those impoverished titled gentlemen.
Inspired, she turned to Sebastian who had just made it to the carriage. “If I return all of these things, someone is likely to think you’re poor. That could very well hurt your reputation,” she told him in a quiet voice so no one else could overhear.
“I will be poor if you spend all of my money,” he replied.
“What if I just return a few things? Surely, that’s not too much to ask.”
He shook his head. “Your problem is that your brother never told you no. He let you do whatever you wanted. It’s not going to be like that with me.”
“But—”
“I’m not going to change my mind. You’re going to return everything on that list.”
So he wasn’t going to relent. Not even a single bit? By the determined look in his eyes, she knew there was nothing she could say or do to talk him out of this nonsense. Gritting her teeth, she turned from him and marched to the next shop on the list.
***
That evening, Celia ate her meal in silence. Sebastian wasn’t surprised that she didn’t want to talk to him. He was, however, surprised she ate the food without protest. He thought she might try to pull the same stunt she did on their wedding day. But she didn’t. He actually would have preferred it if she had tried it as long as it meant she was talking to him.
He’d gotten used to hearing her voice. Usually, she would talk about the plans she and Loretta were making about the group they were forming, often debating on what the membership requirements should be or what kind of social engagements they would have.
One time, she had even asked him about hosting a ball. He had been reluctant to agree to it since there was no way he was going to do any dancing, but in the end, he agreed to host one in the future because balls were good for establishing one’s reputation and getting to know people.
Though he couldn’t care less about his reputation, he knew she wanted to make a good impression on the Ton. And since it was important to her, he wanted to do it. She had yet to pick a date for the ball. He suspected she was waiting until she had announced her new group to the public before hosting it.
He wanted to do everything he could to make her happy because she made him happy. After he lost part of his leg, he had lost his passion for life. In London, if one had a handicap, people pretty much decided the person was useless. Without realizing it, he had allowed that sentiment to affect him. He had believed he no longer had a purpose.
But she had come along and showed him that his life hadn’t ended the fateful night of that storm. He did have a reason to keep going. She made him laugh again. She believed in him. When she looked at him, she didn’t see his limitations. She saw his potential, and in her eyes, there was no reason why he couldn’t go back out to sea and do what he loved. He didn’t think he would have ever reached that conclusion if it hadn’t been for her.
Having time to think of all the things he loved about her made the silence she was giving him even more difficult to bear. He wouldn’t have cared if things were the way they’d been on their wedding day. Back then, he hadn’t been in love with her, so it hadn’t mattered if she was upset with him or not. Now that he was, it was proving difficult to stay firm in his decision to return the things she’d purchased. In fact, he was tempted to go back to the market tomorrow and get at least some of the things on her list. But he couldn’t. This was too important of an issue to compromise.
He knew she’d been embarrassed to go to each shop owner and return the items. Each of them had been shocked, which only confirmed Sebastian’s suspicions that her brother had let her spend money without putting any limits on her. She’d been able to run all over London unrestrained, and who knew how many years her brother had allowed this sort of thing to happen? This was something he had to do for her, as much as he had to do it for the financial security of the estate.
After dinner, she went to her bedchamber. He was tempted to follow her, but in the end, he didn’t. For one, she nearly ran out of the room, and there was no way he could catch up to her. And two, he hoped that if he gave her time to herself, she’d be willing to talk to him when he approached her.
So he went to the drawing room and pulled out the ledger. He hadn’t been able to go through all of it because Christopher and Ethan had paid him a visit. Now, however, he did have time. Since he had paid off all of his brother’s debts and paid back the money the gentlemen had invested into his last whaling expedition, all the accounts were cleared.
As he was going through the numbers on his ledger, it occurred to him that it might be a wise move to show the ledger to Celia. He was certain her brother had never taken the time to show her his own ledger. So how could she possibly understand money was not an infinite resource?
He stood up and tucked the ledger under one arm and then put the crutch under his other arm. Then he left the room. Once he reached the stairs, he hesitated. He didn’t know how he was going to be able to hold the ledger while using the rail and his crutch to go upstairs. Even if he tried to keep it tucked under his arm, he was afraid it would fall from his grasp.
As much as he hated to ask for help, he didn’t think he could avoid it unless he planned to have Celia come down to the drawing room, and considering the mood she was in, he doubted she would do so.
“Is there something I can do for you?” the butler asked from the hallway.
After a moment, Sebastian nodded and gave him the ledger. “Would you carry this to my bedchamber?”
“Yes, my lord.” The butler took it and waited for him.
“You can go first.”
The last thing Sebastian felt like doing was having the butler trail him up the stairs, especially since it took him longer to get to the top with the crutch. He could only hope Dr. Westward was right and that the peg leg would help him move more efficiently once he got used to it.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, Sebastian made it to his bedchamber. The butler had already set the ledger
down on his dresser and had made it back downstairs by the time he’d even reached the top of the stairs. For a moment, Sebastian couldn’t think of how foolish he’d been to take it for granted that he’d once been able to run up the stairs. It was a good reminder to appreciate the things he had while he still had them.
He sat on his bed, exhausted from the trip up the stairs. Once he was no longer out of breath, he got up, took the ledger, and went to the door connecting his bedchamber with Celia’s. He knocked and waited. This could go either way. He wasn’t sure if she’d let him in or not. She might have even found a way to lock him out for all he knew.
A long moment passed, and he knocked again. “Celia?”
Just as he was beginning to think she wasn’t going to open the door, she did. She was already wearing her chemise for bed, and her hair hung in loose waves down her back. In the moonlight coming in through her window, he could make out the nipples on her breasts as they strained against the fabric. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to end up spending far too much money on her for the sole reason that he was very much attracted to her.
Forcing his gaze to hers, he said, “I’d like to talk to you.”
She paused, and he could only guess what she was thinking. But then, thankfully, she stepped aside and waved him into her bedchamber.
He noted all the accessories she had lining her vanity and the outrageous number of gowns she had in her wardrobe. Saying no to her this afternoon had definitely been the right decision. Comforted by this fact, he went to her dresser and set the ledger down.
“What is that?” she asked as she came up behind him.
“It’s the financial condition of the estate,” he replied as he lit the candles on her dresser.
“I thought my dowry put you in good standing.”
“It did. But if we’re not careful, that won’t last long.” He picked up the ledger and turned from the dresser so he could face her. “I think it’s time you got a clear understanding of how money needs to be properly managed.”
“I don’t see what there is to understand. Not only did you get my dowry, but you’re also going to win that wager at White’s. I haven’t told anyone about it. Not even Loretta knows. As far as everyone else is concerned, we won’t be together longer than a few more months.”
“And I appreciate that.” Really, he did. She could have easily told everyone about the wager, but she hadn’t, not even this afternoon when he’d upset her. “Celia, I’m trying to build a future for the estate. This isn’t about me. It’s about us. It’s about our children.”
“But ladies, especially those with husbands who have titles, are expected to maintain a certain image in London. Lady Eloise insists that everyone in her group wears a new gown for every social engagement. We’re only allowed to wear that gown once. Because of that, it’s necessary to have a lot of them. If I’m going to compete with her in the group Loretta and I want to form, then I need to do what she’s doing.”
“No, you don’t. To compete with someone, you don’t need to do the exact same things they are. If people want the same things she offers, then why should they go to your group at all? Why shouldn’t they just go to hers?”
“I didn’t say the other ladies needed to do it. I just said I do. If I’m going to form the group, I need to dress better than Lady Eloise.”
“That’s not true.” Noting her disbelief, he added, “You don’t need to be like Lady Eloise. You just need to be yourself. Not all captains took the same voyage. Some went whaling. Some gathered fish. Some went to collect spices or gems. Some took passengers to other countries. There are many reasons to go on a boat. Some ladies will be in your group because you’re not Lady Eloise. You don’t need to be her in order to matter.”
She let out a long sigh. “I don’t know. Lady Eloise has a lot more influence than I do, and it’s because of all the things she owns.”
“Celia, come.” He gestured for her to follow him to the bed. After they sat on it, he set the crutch aside then turned to face her. “I’m fully supportive of your group. I’m willing to give you an allowance that you can spend as you wish, but it won’t be anything like you’re used to spending.”
He thought she was going to protest, but she didn’t.
And that being the case, he figured it would be a good time to show her the ledger. He opened the book on his lap. “I want you to know how much money is in the estate and how it’s being spent and saved. Are you willing to sit and listen to this?”
Her gaze went to the ledger. “My grandfather and my brother never showed me how much money they had or spent.”
“I figured as much.” When she didn’t say anything, he asked, “Wouldn’t you like to see this?”
After a moment, she nodded. “It would be nice to know what gentlemen do with their money.”
“Well, let’s satisfy your curiosity.”
For the next hour, he explained the budget and answered all the questions she had on the matter. By the time he was done, he knew he had chosen the right way to handle the situation because the evening ended with her inviting him to make love to her. Afterwards, she fell asleep in his arms, and he spent a good portion of the night awake, thinking of how much he loved her and how much he wanted to do what was best for her and the children they would have.
Chapter Sixteen
The next morning after Sebastian went to his bedchamber to dress for the day, Celia sorted through the gowns in her wardrobe. While it still disappointed her that she couldn’t get the things she’d wanted yesterday, she had to admit he’d been right to make her return them. After she saw exactly how much he had and what the expenses were of running the household, she realized the level of spending she’d been doing up to now just wasn’t going to work anymore.
She didn’t know how much her brother had inherited, but she knew her brother had made an impressive sum from his investments because he’d often discussed it with his friends. Sebastian didn’t have the amount of wealth her brother had. Nor did he have her brother’s connections. Nor did he have the interest in investing that her brother did.
He did, however, have an interest in the voyage expeditions that yielded a nice profit. She was sure once he got his peg leg that there would be nothing holding him back from going back out to sea, though he wouldn’t be doing it so often now that he was married and had a title. She did, however, fully intend to go with him. She wanted to experience the kind of adventures he often discussed, though she had no desire to get into a rowboat and track down a whale or other sea life. Staying aboard the ship was a lot more to her liking.
But for now, she had to decide which gowns might be fashionable enough to wear for the group she and Loretta were going to form. Even if she couldn’t get new ones, she still wanted to meet up to the Ton’s expectations. She couldn’t very well lead a group dressed as if she had no fashion sense, and just because something was in fashion last Season, it didn’t mean it would still be for this one.
She dug through the back of her wardrobe and found a couple of gowns she had forgotten all about. They were lovely gowns that would bring out the best aspects of her figure, but they definitely needed some updating. She bit her lower lip. Loretta mentioned that her lady’s maid helped her modify some of her gowns. She wondered if any of the maids in this place knew how to make changes to a gown.
As she set them aside, she selected the one she would wear for the morning. A knock came at her door, and recognizing the soft tapping, she called out for her lady’s maid to enter.
The door opened, and Kay came into the room.
“I was thinking of using the same hairstyle I wore yesterday,” Celia said as she put the gown she wanted on the hook by the vanity. “Do you know how to make changes to a gown?”
“What kind of changes, my lady?” Kay asked.
“Um…” Celia took another look at the older gowns she wanted to modify. “Maybe something like a tuck in along a seam or making the neckline higher? Changing the color of it? Add
ing a ribbon? Maybe even adding some beads?” She turned from the wardrobe and stopped talking when she realized Kay had been crying recently. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, my lady.” She cleared her throat and straightened her back in a way that indicated she wasn’t comfortable. “I’ll be happy to style your hair like I did yesterday, and yes, I can make those kinds of changes.”
Celia frowned. She didn’t make it a habit of asking any of the servants about their personal lives, figuring that how they felt had nothing to do with the job they were being paid to do. But something prompted her to do something she’d never done before, and that was to inquire further into her lady’s maid’s bout with sorrow.
“Far be it from me to pry into something that isn’t my business, but it seems to me that you’re having a difficult morning. You don’t have to tell me what is bothering you if you don’t wish to. I was just wondering if…” If what? She’d never offered any of her servants something before, so she didn’t know how to do this. “When I’m upset, it helps if someone will listen to me. I thought I could do that for you if it would help.”
“It’s just a situation with my parents, my lady. It’s nothing to do with my job.”
Ignoring the last part of her comment, Celia asked, “What’s wrong with your parents?”
“My father passed away last evening. It’s nothing. He was old and sickly. It was no surprise.” She went to the vanity and picked up the brush. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
“Were you close to your father?”
“He was my father.”
By the lady’s tone, Celia realized her lady’s maid assumed all children had a close relationship with their parents. “I barely knew my parents.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, my lady. I didn’t mean to… That is…”
“It’s all right. My parents were busy. They would go around helping others, and that meant I didn’t get to see them as much as I wanted. I’m not complaining. I had everything I ever wanted.” Everything except for them, but she didn’t feel like going into all of that. It wasn’t going to change anything. Turning her attention back to her, she asked, “When is your father’s funeral?”