Halftime Husband

by McCarthy, Erin

  She nodded.

  “Nice to meet you. Thank you for helping Teri and Dakota with their project.” Brandon gestured to me. “This Dakota, not that Dakota. The pretty one.”

  “Hey!” Dak protested. “I don’t think that’s fair. I may have a face only a momma would love, but I have great hair.”

  He did. It was long and wavy and a sun-kissed blonde. “You do have better hair than me,” I told him. “I would kill for that kind of volume. But, sorry, I have to say I think I have better legs.”

  Dak laughed. He glanced down the length of my body. “I can’t argue with that.” He stuck his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you, by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you too.” I shook his hand and gave him a smile. He was lying. He did not have an ugly face. He wasn’t traditionally handsome but he wasn’t hard to look at either. But I could see the type of guy he was. A total player, in every sense.

  “Oh, sorry, I would have introduced you, but I thought you knew each other already,” Brandon said.

  He didn’t sound like he was thrilled about it either.

  “No,” I said, glancing over at him. “We’ve never met.” I gave Dak a smile. “Should we give you a few minutes with Eloise? I’ll go grab a coffee. I don’t want to rush you.”

  But he waved my suggestion off. “Oh, no. I don’t have anything important going on here.”

  Eloise swallowed hard.

  He continued. “I was just bugging Kitty. I’m sure she’s sick of me hanging around her desk.”

  What she looked was like she wanted him to take her hard on her desk the way Brandon had me on his.

  But I suspected Dak had no clue what his casual flirting was doing to the social media manager. Eloise looked like she needed a cold shower.

  “Excellent,” Teri said. “We’ll just steal Eloise then.” She gestured toward the meeting room. “Shall we?”

  “Of course.” Eloise grabbed her phone and a notebook and walked quickly toward the meeting room without a word to Dak.

  “Are you coming too?” I asked Brandon, when he made no move to join us. He was talking low, behind his hand, to Dak.

  Almost like he was saying something he didn’t want me to hear.

  “No, I’m good. I’ll let you do your thing,” he said, in a complete one-eighty.

  I didn’t like his tone. I had the sneaking suspicion he was annoyed. That somehow he thought Dak was flirting with me. Which he hadn’t been. It had been a friendly exchange, nothing more. Men like Dak were friendly.

  “Why on earth does he call you Kitty?” Teri asked Eloise as we entered the meeting room. She closed the glass door behind us.

  “Oh. It’s because I like cats.” Eloise gestured to her shirt, which sported two kittens playing with a ball of yarn.

  It was a look I could never pull off, but something she managed to look nerdy cute. It fit her.

  “Be careful,” Teri said. “He’s a playboy.”

  Eloise pursed her lips, but she nodded. “I know. He just likes to flirt. With everyone.”

  Now I felt annoyed on her behalf. She was just at work and he was interrupting her to flirt with her? “You can tell him to stop, you know.”

  “Oh, I don’t want him to stop,” she said, fiercely.

  I laughed.

  Then she blushed. “I mean… that sounded wrong. It’s just that, well, he’s who he is, and I’m who I am, and I mean, I don’t dislike it.”

  That put a whole different spin on it. “Girl, I totally get where you’re coming from. If you enjoy some casual flirting with a famous quarterback, have fun with it. Let him star in your late-night fantasies, if you know what I’m saying.”

  She nodded. “I know exactly what you’re saying.”

  “Are we done here?” Teri asked. “Or should we go out for drinks for the girl-time talk?”

  I made a face. “Relax. You’re the one who asked her why he was calling her Kitty.”

  “And I regret getting involved. But if you want the advice of an older woman with much more experience, just be careful.”

  I was pretty sure Eloise hadn’t asked for Teri’s advice, but I wasn’t going to point that out.

  “Same goes for you, Dakota.”

  “Me?” I asked, startled. “What am I doing?” Well. That was kind of a dumb question. I was doing a lot.

  Teri gave me an incredulous look. “Anyone with eyes can see that you’re not just the nanny for the coach’s children.”

  I remained silent. I was pleading the fifth. Then, because I was curious and still a woman who wanted to think she could inspire giddiness in a man, I asked, “What makes you say that?” I wanted to know if Brandon looked like he was happy with me.

  As opposed to say, him stating he was terrified at the thought of a real relationship with me.

  “Because he was clearly jealous of North. He looks at you and it’s territorial.”

  “Yuck,” I said. That was not the answer I was searching for. Yes, I wanted him to want me. To be possessive and manly and want no other man to touch me. That went without saying. But I didn’t want that to be it. The only thing that drove him—not really wanting me himself but not wanting other men to have me.

  Teri actually laughed. “Why is that yucky? I would think that’s what you want. He’s staked a claim on you.”

  “Because I don’t want him to stick his pole in me,” I protested.

  Then we all looked at each other and burst out laughing.

  I had meant it as a space metaphor. Landing on the moon.

  “Oh my God,” Teri said, holding her sides. “Dakota. I can’t breathe.”

  “I meant I don’t want him putting the flag down like I’m the moon and he’s the astronaut,” I said, laughing, and making it worse. I made a motion with my hand that was supposed to be the flag being planted on the surface of the moon but looked more like a blowjob gesture. Definitely making it worse.

  “We knew what you meant,” Eloise said, lifting her glasses to wipe tears from under her eyes. “Oh my gosh, that was funny. So what is it that you do want?” she asked.

  Because my guard was down from laughing, I opened my mouth and a truth came out that I hadn’t even been aware of until that very second. “I want to be his one true love.”

  Eloise’s jaw dropped.

  Teri shot me a look of horror. “Oh, shit, Dakota. Sweetie.”

  I sat there, stunned. I couldn’t believe I had said that out loud. I couldn’t believe I felt that way.

  But we were where we were against the odds. Twice we’d met. Twice we’d parted ways. Now we were together, in a way, and that had to mean something, right? Brandon had said we would see each other again if fate had allowed, and well, fate had allowed it. In a city of eight million people.

  Though why I had to say that out loud, here, with two people I didn’t even know that particularly well, was a mystery. A horrible mystery.

  “Just forget I said that. I’m going to try to scrub it from my brain.” I tried to resist the urge to glance behind me and see what Brandon was doing, but I failed. I turned around.

  Brandon was still standing with Dak.

  His legs were slightly apart. He was wearing jeans and a team sweatshirt. He was so big and broad and handsome. I thought about the way he sounded when he laughed. He didn’t laugh nearly enough. He was serious, as Poppy had pointed out on multiple occasions. Yet, I could get him to laugh. Did that mean anything? It had to. It did.

  He must have felt the weight of my stare. He glanced over and made eye contact with me. I felt like an idiot. I was completely turned around in my chair gawking at him. For the first time in our relationship, I felt at a total disadvantage. Like he had all the control and I had none.

  Because I was in love with him.

  I smiled at him.

  He scowled and looked away.

  What the fuck was that?

  Hurt, I turned back to Eloise and Teri, determined not to let Brandon get the best of me. “So where were we? Discu
ssing doing a TikTok with the cheerleaders at the hospital to solicit donations for fighting kids’ cancers?”

  That was what was important here. The kids.

  Not my dumb heart, which may have just taken a serious hit.

  Dakota had turned in her meeting and smiled. I didn’t mean to make a face, but North had just told me that there was talk. People thought me and Dakota were together and it had been discussed around the organization. There were mixed opinions about it. Players like North didn’t give a shit. The GM might care. The public would invariably have a lot of opinions, half of which would probably be scathing. Comments about the coach and the cheerleader. The cliche of her being my nanny.

  None of that thrilled me.

  But what worried me was the girls catching wind of it before I could talk to them about it.

  Stressed out about what North was saying, I had accidentally scowled at Dakota and now she was sitting in the car on the way home telling me exactly how she felt about what I had done.

  “You can just lie in your bed alone tonight,” she said. “You embarrassed me. You were all weird about the meeting, then you were weird about Dak, then you glared at me. Eloise and Teri both saw it. It was so humiliating.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, for the third time. “I didn’t mean to glare at you. It was a general glare. Not one specifically aimed at you.”

  She made a sound of exasperation. “Ugh, you’re so grumpy. And I don’t even understand why you’re jealous of every guy who looks at me. It’s stupid.”

  Maybe it was. But maybe it was also because I didn’t have her locked and loaded. I had tried to bring up the future and she had brushed it off. I had no clue where we stood exactly. “I’m not jealous,” I lied.

  “Dak was flirting with Eloise, not me.”

  “Who is Eloise?” I asked, bewildered.

  “She’s the social media liaison! The woman who was there today.”

  “Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot her name.” I had been seriously distracted by my jealousy. “I wasn’t jealous.”

  “Please stop talking.”

  That irritated me. “No. I apologized. I’m not sure what else you expect me to do. I’m just stressed out, I wasn’t glaring at you.”

  “If you think this is just about a glare, you’re totally missing the point.”

  “Then I guess I’m missing the point.”

  Dakota wasn’t usually vague with me. She was straightforward and told me what she was feeling. I didn’t know how to deal with this conversation. I didn’t even know what we were fighting about.

  I hit my horn when the car in front of me didn’t start moving fast enough at the green light. Dakota jumped.

  My phone rang. The caller ID showed up on the dash screen of my car. “Oh, God.” It was my ex-wife. “That’s Willow and Poppy’s mother. I should take this.”

  I didn’t want to put her on speaker, but it was the easiest way to deal with it. She probably just wanted to let me know she was out of rehab.

  “Hello?”

  “Brandon. So, when were you going to tell me?”

  I grimaced. “Tell you what, Bridget?”

  “That you have a girlfriend living with you. I’m still their mother, you know. I deserve to know who is hanging around my daughters.”

  Dakota made a sound that was not friendly. I glanced over at her and gave her a pleading look. She rolled her eyes.

  “I have a nanny, Bridget. I don’t have to consult you every time I hire someone to be a care provider. And yes, I understand you’re still their mother.”

  I could practically feel the anger radiating off Dakota as I drove. This was one of those times I wished I lived in Jersey. I would have been home already and could take this call in private.

  Bridget snorted. “Please. You’re going to tell me you’re not fucking her?”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “So you are. That’s so predictable.”

  I decided to go on the offensive. I kept my tone calm. “Are you done with rehab?”

  “No. I still have another thirty days.”

  “Then you should be calling the girls with your phone privileges, not calling me to ask about my sex life.”

  “You’re such an asshole,” she seethed. “It’s no wonder I can’t stay in recovery.”

  “I’m sorry if you feel that way.” This was the line I always had to walk with her. I couldn’t tell her how I really felt because I didn’t want to be responsible for her withholding herself from the girls as some kind of punishment to me. She had an irrational way of thinking that I had learned was futile to argue with.

  “How old is your slut?” she asked.

  Before I could repeat again it was none of Bridget’s business, Dakota’s voice rang out clear and concise. “I’m twenty-eight,” she said.

  Wonderful. I rubbed my forehead.

  “You have me on speaker with her?” Bridget said. “What the fuck, Brandon? How dare you?”

  “We’re in the car. I answered the phone. It’s not a big deal.” Then because while I wanted to maintain the peace, I couldn’t let her bully Dakota, I said, “And don’t call her a slut, seriously. Let’s just stay civil.”

  “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

  That was just a useless threat and a waste of money. The court was not going to overturn custody at this point. I sighed. “Do whatever you need to do.” I didn’t even bother to ask how she’d found out about Dakota. I didn’t particularly care. I knew it wasn’t from the girls. She hadn’t spoken to either one of them in five months.

  “I will. And oh, Slut? Watch your back.”

  With that she ended the call.

  “Wow, she’s fun,” Dakota said. “Here I was feeling sorry for her for struggling with addiction.”

  “She turns to alcohol and pills because she has other deeper issues. I’m sorry about that. She had no right to talk to you like that.”

  “I’m sorry you have to constantly deal with this.”

  “Me, too,” I said, being honest. “She wasn’t like this when we got married, obviously. I didn’t realize the extent to which she suffered from bipolar disorder. It didn’t actually get bad until after the kids were born. Something about either the hormones of the pregnancies or motherhood itself made things way worse.”

  “You stayed longer than I would have.”

  “At first, I thought it was the right thing for the girls, then I realized it was just a toxic environment. It’s been tough.”

  Dakota was quiet for a minute. We were pulling onto our block. “It’s very complicated.”

  Something about her tight voice made my gut clench. “It is.”

  “I understand.”

  “What do you understand?” I wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

  “Why you can’t be impulsive. I get it.”

  Was she talking about marriage? The questions I had posed to her in bed the other night? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure how to ask for clarification on what she was saying. Maybe she just meant it at face value. That she understood the girls were my priority.

  “Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be saying.” That was the truth. I had zero clue what Dakota wanted from me right now. Specifically and generally.

  “I don’t want to tell you what to say.”

  “I don’t want that either.” Now I was totally lost. I pulled into the parking garage and into my assigned spot. I turned off the car and looked at her. “What is going on?”

  “I don’t know. I’m just really confused about everything. I feel like we’re getting in deeper and deeper. Or at least, I am.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I felt so much rage that Bridget hasn’t called her daughters. Like, I wanted to scream at her. I feel really protective of Willow and Poppy.”

  “Trust me, I want to scream every day.” I squeezed her knee. “I love that you care about them. It has been really
, really nice to have someone to share that worry with.”

  Which still left us in the same spot as before. She was right. It was complicated.

  “But it’s really not my place to be upset on their behalf, is it?”

  I didn’t have an answer for that. “I don’t even know, Dakota.”

  “I need to go pick up the girls from school now,” she said, putting her hand on the door handle.

  “Wait a second.”

  “What?” She turned back to me.

  I kissed her. “I just wanted to do that.”

  Dakota smiled. “Always the grumpy gentleman.”

  That night she didn’t come to my room, which didn’t make me happy. I didn’t like feeling like there was a gulf growing between us, so I went to her room and I pulled her into the bathroom. I needed to touch her, to feel her, to keep a hold on that intimacy we shared.

  To know she was mine.

  I watched her orgasm in the mirror as I drove into her from behind and I knew what I knew.

  I was in love with her.

  I didn’t want to be without her.

  Ever.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Willow was eating her birthday pancakes made by Brandon and looking cheerful, happy about her special day. He had told her he had arranged for her to try out for a traveling soccer team. She planned to spend the next two weeks in the gym practicing her somewhat rusty skills.

  We had blown up balloons for her the night before and had let them float to the kitchen ceiling, so that she was surrounded by silver and hot pink balloons and their strings. It had seemed like a better idea the night before than it did now. I kept finding myself with balloon strings smacking me in the face.

  Poppy was making a game out of running through the balloons, sending them scattering. Brandon had gone to take a quick shower before taking Willow to the gym.

  I knew it was only nine in the morning, but I was still annoyed that Willow hadn’t gotten a call from her mother yet. It was her thirteenth birthday. That was special. Especially given the difficult year Willow had experienced. She didn’t know it yet but I had arranged for my ex who was a huge hip hop star to make her a video birthday greeting.

  My thirteenth birthday had been filled with friends. I had a bowling party. Which made me laugh in retrospect, but it had been bowling with a dance party vibe going on. Strobe lights, pounding hip hop music, pizza, enough free-flowing soft drinks to caffeinate the whole Great Lakes region. My girlfriends had spent the night after the bowling and we had stayed up until five in the morning in our finished basement talking about boys and doing each other’s makeup. There might have even been an incident with body glitter ruining the carpet that my father still complained about to this day.