By Cat or By Crook

by Patricia Fry

  “Sure,” Sam said, moving his rods a few feet away. “Looks like another one lying alongside this one. Now this burial field is getting more organized.”

  When Iris heard this, she murmured, “Oh, God. This is awful.” She looked out toward the circular driveway. “Now, who’s that?”

  “Looks like our grave diggers,” Craig said. “Come on out here, guys,” he called, “and bring your shovels. We’re burning daylight.” Once the six men had arrived at the site, Craig said, “Two of you finish digging this hole—you should be just about there.” He pointed. “You two start digging where that rebar rod is.” He motioned to the last two men. “That man over there will show you where the third body is.”

  “What is this, an old cemetery?” one of the laborers asked.

  “You might say so,” Craig said.

  “Where’s the treasure?” Margaret asked, walking swiftly to where Michael and Savannah were standing.

  “Hi, Auntie.” Savannah pointed. “Right there in that box.” She grabbed Margaret’s arm excitedly and whispered. “There are thousand-dollar bills in there!”

  “Holy cow!” Margaret exclaimed, moving closer.

  “Looks like our transport people have arrived,” Craig said. He waved one arm. “Come on back here,” he called, watching as the two men walked to where he stood, each with a hand on his weapon. “Did your super tell you where you’re to take this?” he asked.

  “Yeah, they’re expecting it at the State Bank on Canal Street,” one of the men said. “They’re preparing for the delivery.” He looked down at the box in front of Craig. “This is it?”

  “Yup. No lock—just a heavy-duty box full of big bills.”

  “How much is there?” the uniformed man asked.

  Craig shrugged. “Don’t know. Looks to me like more than a hundred thou.”

  The guard whistled. “Well, let’s get to counting. I’m going to need your signature on this release and we’d better have an accurate count before it leaves here. Detective, why don’t you come along with us?” He glanced at the others. “And commission one of these folks to witness the count. Someone not related to you.”

  “I’ll do it,” Margaret said loudly. “Let me, please, Craig.

  “Okay, Maggie, let’s go to the counting house.”

  “So how much money is there?” Savannah asked when Margaret and Craig returned and the armored van had driven away.

  “Many thousands,” Craig said.

  Margaret added, “It looks like they took some of the money to spend and were saving the rest for a rainy day.” She chuckled. “But it’s going back to the bank, so someone in the Kaiser family isn’t getting the Ferrari they dreamed of.”

  “Or the country,” Savannah said.

  “Country?” Margaret questioned.

  “Looked like enough money they could buy a whole country,” she explained.

  “Got a body over here,” called one of the men who had taken over the digging where Craig and Damon had started. “And it’s not in a box. I see bones and some rotted clothes.”

  “Ewww,” Iris said, stepping back and sitting down in one of the lawn chairs.

  “You don’t want to take a look, Iris?” Savannah asked, while she peeled a banana to share with Lily. She placed a few bite-sized pieces in the tray of the stroller.

  “No way.” She rested her head in her hands. “Oh Savannah, finally I have something of my own and it’s riddled with dead people—a virtual cemetery.”

  “I want to see,” Margaret said, taking her phone out of her pocket and preparing to snap a photo.

  Craig raised his hand. “No, Maggie. Just stay back, will ya?”

  “Better get the medical examiner out here,” Sam shouted from across the property, when he watched his rods turn down toward the ground once again.

  “Already called it in,” Craig said, shaking his head. He walked over to the hole now beneath where the Dexter rock had been and stared down into it. “Not even a pine box, huh?” He kneeled and shined a small flashlight at the remains. As he stood, he braced himself on the rock, which rolled over. “Well, I’ll be,” he murmured, leaning to get a better look. “Do you gals want to see something?” he invited.

  “Yeah,” Margaret said eagerly.

  “I don’t know, do we?” Iris asked hesitantly.

  He looked up at the women. “I think you’ll find this interesting.”

  Savannah and Iris exchanged looks, then Savannah checked to make sure Lily was still contentedly eating banana pieces and the two women followed Margaret to the gravesite.

  “What?” Iris asked.

  When Craig pointed, Iris stepped back, her hands over her mouth. “This is just getting too creepy.”

  “Oh, my gosh!” Margaret shouted.

  “Wow! The calling card,” Savannah said, when she saw the rose with the black widow spider painted on the underside of the rock. “Iris, your life has become a bit more exciting than it was when you were waitressing at the diner, hasn’t it?”

  Before Iris could respond, a man from the second group of diggers shouted, “Got a body! Only three feet down. I think this one’s a woman! Looks like a purse down there with her.”

  “It just gets better and better, doesn’t it?” Iris said facetiously. She straightened when she saw Michael walking toward her with an armload of water bottles.

  “Anyone ready for a drink?” he called to the diggers. He stopped. “How about you ladies? There’s plenty.”

  The three women each took a bottle and walked back to where Lily sat in her stroller. Before they could be seated, Iris’s phone rang. “It’s Colbi,” she told the others. “Hi,” she said into the phone.

  “What are you doing this afternoon?” Colbi asked. “Resting?”

  “Yeah, while I watch a group of men dig up bones.”

  “On TV?” Colbi asked.

  Iris glanced at Savannah and Margaret. “I wish it was on TV. No, out here at the Kaiser place. Hey, Colbi, what are you doing?”

  “Getting ready to climb into my cozy jammies.” She hesitated, then asked, “Iris, are you telling me they’ve found another dead body out there?”

  “Maybe several of them,” Iris said.

  “Dang,” Colbi said. “Are you serious?”

  “Dead serious.” Iris tittered at her unintentional pun. When Colbi remained silent, Iris said, “Maggie’s been telling me that you have some information about people who were affiliated with the Kaisers and who went missing over the years. I’d like to see what you’ve found. And it might help authorities identify these bodies.”

  “Yeah, Damon and I have gathered some stuff that might be relevant to the place. I can bring it out to you tomorrow, if you’d like. I’m just really tired this afternoon.”

  “Sure, I understand. They’ll probably stop the search soon, anyway.”

  “I doubt it,” Savannah said, pointing to an approaching truck that appeared to be carrying large portable lights.

  “Oh, wait,” Iris said. “I guess they aren’t going to stop. It looks like they’re going to dig through the night.”

  “Gosh, that sounds like quite a production out there,” Colbi said.

  “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe it if you saw it. There are people digging all over the place, the medical examiner’s on the job, and then there’s a water witch doing his thing.”

  “A what?” Colbi asked.

  “A water witch—you know—he uses rods to find bodies. How he does that, I have no idea, but it appears to be working.”

  “Minerals,” Colbi said.

  “Huh?”

  “The rods react to the minerals in the bones, just like they would to minerals in water.”

  “Yeah, that’s what he told us, but still, it’s kind of weird.”

  “How many bodies have they found?” Colbi asked quietly.

  “Three,” Iris said.

  “Over here!” Sam called.

  “Maybe four,” Iris cor
rected, “plus the one in the wall.”

  “Are you sure there aren’t others in the wall or in the floors?”

  “No,” Iris said emphatically, “we’re not sure. The place could be riddled with human bodies. But now that I’m part owner of the Kaiser Bed-and-Breakfast Inn, I will put a halt to the digging when it seems reasonable to do so. They will not tear up the foundation here or blast into any more walls.”

  “Back up there, Iris,” Colbi said. “Did you say part owner? How did that happen?”

  “Oh, sorry, I’ve been so busy I didn’t call you. Melody had a heart attack last night and isn’t expected to live. She signed the place over to me and her daughter.”

  “Wow! What a shocker. How do you feel about that?”

  “Like I told Savannah, I’m still getting used to the idea. Oh, Colbi, there’s so much to get used to.”

  Colbi paused, then asked, “Are you feeling okay, Iris? You’re not overdoing it, are you?”

  “Trying not to. Savannah and Maggie are here keeping an eye on me. I’ll go home in a little while and put on my jammies, too. See you tomorrow. Bring me everything you’ve dug up, will you?” She snickered. “Oops, there’s another distasteful pun.”

  ****

  “Five damn bodies,” Iris said to Savannah over the phone the next day at around noon.

  “Is that all of them?”

  “Yes!” Iris said sternly. “That’s all the digging I will allow. I’ve told them to let any other sleeping dogs and cool cats lie.”

  “How does Melody feel about that? Have you been able to talk to her?”

  Iris hesitated before saying, “Well, I haven’t actually discussed it with her. What’s the point? She’s fairly coherent, but it’s just a matter of time. Why get her upset?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Iris.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m fairly sure she would agree with me. Besides, they’ve done a pretty good job of identifying the bodies—all of them evidently shot, by the way. They must have used a lot of bullets around that place.”

  “How did they identify the bodies?” Savannah asked.

  “By comparing the information Colbi and Damon found about missing persons and the personal documents they uncovered in the graves. The earliest murder goes back to the forties. Can you imagine? We think that was a woman named Lorraine. She was evidently the girlfriend of one of the senior Kaiser’s business partners. Damon figures she knew too much.”

  Savannah snickered. “I guess that’s a common reason for mobsters to kill someone, isn’t it?”

  “I guess so. And, Savannah, there were a couple of guys buried with their machine guns and their ID. Their names showed up in a 1960 Chicago census, but there seemed to be no record of them anywhere after that.”

  “Without DNA evidence, I suppose a lot of old bodies found like that are never identified,” Savannah said. She asked, “So are the bodies gone from the property?”

  “They promised me they will be by this afternoon when Mavis is supposed to arrive.”

  “She’s not here yet?”

  “No. I hope my new business partner isn’t as unreliable as she seems so far.” Iris took a deep breath. “I’m meeting with a landscaper on Thursday.” She paused. “Oh, Savannah, before we start that work, I’d like to remove the cats from the property. How do I go about contacting Mrs. Balcomb at the cat ranch?”

  “Want me to call her? I can bring Nola out to set traps around the place.”

  “Then what?”

  “Then the cats they trap will be taken to the ranch and evaluated and treated, if necessary. Those that want to be pets will be put up for adoption.”

  “What about the ones that are too wild?” Iris asked.

  “June has plenty of room at the ranch where even the feral cats can live comfortably and safely.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, want to go out there with me some day and see their operation?”

  “Sure do.”

  “What time’s your partner arriving?”

  “Around two or three.”

  “I hope you like her.”

  “I think I will. She sounds like a sweet, down-to-earth person on the phone.”

  “Does she have a family?”

  “No. She never married. She has a cat…”

  “Oh, takes after her mother?”

  “Yes, and get this, Savannah, she wants to provide cats for guests who would enjoy the coziness of a kitty-cat in their room. What do you think about that?”

  “Oh, I love it. Charming idea. Hey, want to lease Rags for your place?”

  Iris laughed. “You’re kidding, right? After everything we’ve had to deal with out there, that’s all we need is your crazy cat in the mix. Hey, gotta go. It’s supposed to be another busy day.”

  “Okay, see you soon.”

  “Thank you, Savannah.”

  “For what?”

  “For being such a great support and seeing me through all of these difficult times. You’re such a good friend.”

  “Well, I could, and will, and do say the same about you, Iris. Hey, see you soon.”

  ****

  “So who’s being charged with all those murders out at that spooky Kaiser place?” Margaret asked over lemonade later that day in the Ivey kitchen.

  “I don’t know,” Savannah said. “That’s one question I didn’t ask Iris. Maybe she doesn’t know. But I suppose they’d start by interrogating Benjamin Kaiser, don’t you think so? Although, at least one of the dead people went missing when Benjamin was a child, so that one was on his parents, I guess.”

  “Could have been Geraldine,” Margaret suggested. “I mean, you said there was a woman among the dead people; Geraldine could have snuffed out her competition in the madam business and knocked off a couple of Johns, too.”

  “Auntie, where do you get this stuff?”

  “The only thing I can’t figure out is who killed Melody’s boyfriend.”

  “Fiancé,” Savannah corrected.

  “Yeah, whatever. Melody was with her mother when the guy was killed.”

  “Are you sure?” Savannah asked, playing devil’s advocate.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe he was killed at the Kaiser home before the cruise.” Savannah leaned forward for emphasis. “In fact, Geraldine may have been the last one to see him. Didn’t she tell Melody and Benjamin that she dropped him off at the dock before the ship sailed? What if she didn’t leave him at the dock, but killed him, instead because…because she was jealous of her daughter’s happiness? Maybe she wanted Wallace for herself. When he rejected her, she killed him and hid his body in a closet, then had workers come in for that remodeling job, when she built the kitty stairs in the wall, and had them stuff Wallace in there to keep the cats company.”

  After thinking about it for a moment, Margaret said, “You may have something there. If Melody was in Paris waiting for her mother to arrive, she certainly couldn’t have killed him, unless he flew to Paris instead of taking the cruise with Benjamin and his cronies. Maybe he caught Melody with some French gigolo, there was a scuffle, and she killed him.”

  “How did he end up in the wall, then?” Savannah asked.

  “Geraldine could have paid someone to conceal the body and take it back to Hammond.” Margaret smiled broadly. “Then, when Benjamin went into hiding and the women were left at the estate, they hired people to do the renovation in order to protect the cats and Melody’s neck.” She took a sip of lemonade before continuing. “It didn’t matter if it rotted in there, because they were moving out, anyway.” She wrinkled her nose. “No wonder the house was closed up for all those years. A smelly body in the walls is no sweet selling point, is it?”

  “Gads, you have an imagination, Auntie.”

  “And you don’t, Ms. ‘Geraldine was hitting on her daughter’s fiancé’?” Margaret quipped. She became more serious when she said, “Like I’m always telling you,
I watch mysteries and police shows. You can learn a lot about human nature from them.”

  After sitting quietly for a few moments, Savannah said, “It seems to me the only person left to punish for any murders is Benjamin Kaiser.”

  “That’s a fact, Vannie. But isn’t it a little late to punish him? I mean a life sentence for him might amount to a mere couple of years.”

  “Or months,” Savannah suggested, “or weeks.”

  Margaret bounced a little in her chair. “Hey, let’s see if Iris will let us go back up in the attic.”

  “Why?” Savannah said. “You don’t want to look for more bodies, do you?”

  Margaret made a face and cringed. “No. But I’d love to look at the clothes Melody and her mother brought back from Europe. Wouldn’t you? Can you just imagine how expensive and luxurious they are?”

  “So you think that’s what’s in those boxes—fancy clothes? Looked like a lot of rags to me.”

  “Yeah, they might be rags by now after the cats and rats and raccoons used them for bedding.” Margaret thought about it and said, “But I’d still like to go through those boxes. Who’s to stop us now that Iris is part owner?”

  “Iris,” Savannah said matter-of-factly.

  “Well, I’m going to call her right now,” Margaret said, picking up her phone. “Hi, Iris. Savannah and I were just talking and we wondered…” Margaret grinned across at Savannah, then continued, “…we wondered if we could come over and help you clean out the attic.”

  “Oh,” Iris said, obviously caught off guard. “Yeah, I suppose we should tackle that job. I want to get the safe down while we still have some manpower around here. And we really ought to take inventory of the rest of the stuff up there. Could be something else I can use for decorating. Yeah, Maggie, if you’d like to, let’s do it. Mavis will be here this afternoon and she really should be involved in that if she wants to be.”

  “She isn’t there yet?” Margaret asked.

  Iris sighed. “No. I hope she gets here before Melody passes.” Sounding more upbeat, she added, “Yeah, I’d appreciate the help cleaning out that attic. Let’s do it.”

  “Goodie,” Margaret said. “When?”