Oregon Trails

by Olivia Gaines

  The sleep really had not come as easily as it appeared to her husband as she leaned into his warmth, snuggling close, allowing the cadence of his heart to serve as a metronome. The steady rhythm soothed her as old fears snuck up, grabbing her by the ankles, pulling her down into a darkness that only she understood. Disappointment in men in general had resurfaced when he walked in the door and the first thing he wanted to do was get naked and take out his aggressions on her body. A little something he’d promised he wouldn’t do, but on the fourth day in their marriage, he’d burst through the front door with a boner the size of California, ready to, well, bone. In her heart, Kalinda knew he was the one, but to train him to be a good husband she didn’t feel up to the task, especially when she’d invested one hundred large into a business that she had to make work so she could at least get her money back.

  He’d surprised her on more than one level by first admitting that he was breaking his own rule. Then he broke his second rule by using his mouth to bring her pleasure. The third surprise was his next words.

  “I get to come home every day to this amazing, beautiful, super intelligent, great cook, marketing goddess who agreed to marry a lunkhead like me. You agreed to come live here...be my wife...mine,” he said. “Forgive me, but I can’t believe how lucky I am. This scares me.”

  “I am not sure why a sharp cookie like you would be scared,” she said. “You could have any woman you wanted.”

  “Not true, usually the women I want don’t necessarily want me. Or at least they start that way, then weird shit happens, and it all comes crashing down on my head,” he said solemnly.

  He carried her nude form to the waiting outdoor tub of warm water where he lowered them both in, taking a large sponge and scrubbing her body from head to toe. As she took her turn to scrub his back, lights around the house flashed on, illuminating the woodline on both sides. Kalinda grabbed a towel to cover her bare form.

  “It’s probably only some raccoon or something,” he said. “Wait here.”

  She watched his strong back heft his weight from the water and lean muscled legs carried him down the cobble stoned walkway into the main house. His eyes focused on the monitors around the house. Spying the family of foxes, he returned to his wife in the tub.

  “A bunch of foxes,” he said to her. “If you are going to work out back or on any of the trailheads, make sure you turn that system on. I have a hand unit that you can carry with you to keep an eye on the house. I do prefer that you wait for me before going on any of the trails. I have to train you on what to do and how to be safe.”

  “Are there any dangers that I should concern myself with while I am here alone,” she wanted to know. Concern covered her face as he reached for her hand, helping her out of the tub.

  “Most of the townspeople are harmless. Eccentric but harmless. My brother on the other hand, is not. If he shows up, handle him with care. Stay outside. Do not be alone with him,” he said.

  “You think he is going to show up here?”

  “Yes, I have a feeling,” Paul said. “A bad one...”

  “Now, I am worried,” she mumbled.

  “Don’t be. He will have to go through me to even smell a hair on that beautiful head of yours,” he said.

  She didn’t have anything else to say as she watched him fuss and fawn over dinner. Such a simple meal that he thought was the most amazing thing he’d ever tasted. Paul sat across from her with a mouth full of spinach, grinning from ear to ear.

  “Ooh, before I forget, QT wants to talk to you about recipes or something,” he said. “It seems like the whole town has fallen in love with you and wants to make sure you include them in on own upcoming boom.”

  Kalinda only smiled, remembering the quirky group of misfits.

  “What?”

  “It’s like Santa’s sleigh broke down on his way to the Island of Misfit Toys,” she said with a grin.

  “No shit. I don’t think between all of them, there is a full set of teeth. I mean, one of them may have a set of dentures in a jar or something, but they are good people. They welcomed me to this town, even with me planning to bring tourists to their home,” he said.

  “Everyone loves to eat. Eating requires money. Money makes people change,” he said.

  “You? Will money make you change?”

  “I have money. I have always been changing,” he admitted.

  “Are you done?”

  “With what, changing?”

  “Yeap,” he answered. His brown eyes asked a quiet question.

  “No. I am not,” she said. “I have to rise a little higher to become what we both shall need for where we are heading next.”

  Chapter 17

  A n easy Wednesday morning rolled in as Kalinda took stock of the deep freezer, eyeing choices for Paul’s meat and potatoes dinner. Assuming by meat he meant something red, possibly that he himself had killed, and he would want that grilled or seared. Locating some onions in the root bin, she also found some fingerling potatoes, carrots and a few mushrooms that were probably best used for smoking than eating, and placed then to the side. A quick marinade was made for the meat which she covered with foil and placed in the fridge to slow defrost. For some odd reason, she decided to go back and defrost a few more pieces so she wouldn’t have to cook tomorrow. Salads maybe ?

  There wasn’t much housework because her husband was a tidy type, but still she liked to wipe down the bathroom, quickly scrub the shower, and run a sweeper to pick up any dust on the floors. The outside bathtub was kind of cool, especially with it being large enough to accommodate at least 8 people. It was truly a hot tub. A filtration system was added so that the water that ran off was cleaned and used to irrigate the garden.

  The idea scared her a bit, but Paul assured her the water that drained from the tub was clean enough for them to drink.

  “The devil is a liar,” she exclaimed, looking out the back window. It would be a cold day in Miami before she drunk anybody’s bathwater, including his. She didn’t care how sexy he was or how she liked him. Paul Darton was a lot of things she liked.

  Thoughtful.

  Caring.

  Husband .

  She checked her watch. It read five minutes after nine. Even though she had worked from home for the past five years, a meticulous workspace and scheduling were mandatory requirements. In her new life, she saw no reasons for it be any different. Locking the front door to her home, she walked down the hill to the Wide-Open Spaces offices, a cute green tiny house with a large front window and a small porch. The windows needed washing, the midsized shared common workspace personalized, and some much-needed womanly touches that would be added today.

  “But first, I need that website up,” she said, logging into the computer. Working non-stop for an hour, the landing page was up with a few pictures of the office. She took a quick break to wipe down the dingy glass windows. Minimal elbow grease was needed to aid the glass in allowing in the bright rays of the mid-morning sun.

  “Better,” she said, sitting back down to build the ‘About Us” page. A picture of me and Paul should be there.

  A vehicle horn blew loudly as a delivery truck came up the hill with two tiny houses on the bed. Kalinda picked up her phone and called Paul.

  “Hey you, a truck just arrived with two tiny houses,” she said.

  “Shoot! I am not too far out, but getting there may be an issue,” he said solemnly.

  “No worries; where do you want them?”

  “Honey, they have to be situated on the land so many miles apart on a cross plain for the right breeze to blow through for ventilation,” Paul said.

  “Okay, I have this idea, let me know what you think. I was pondering the possibility of simply placing the houses at the new trailheads. That way, each cabin will be associated with a trail. House number three can be Broken Top, after the mountain range. Then we can name each of the other trails after other Oregon Mountains. By the time all the trails are open, each weekender can book the cabin at
the trail they need to complete. I am working on some badges for each trail so that when people are done, they can earn one. What do you think?”

  “I think I want to come home and work on getting you pregnant,” he said sultrily.

  “That is not a turn-on to me at all,” she said dryly.

  “I love the idea,” he said to her. “I think it is blooming genius.”

  “Okay, which one? The houses or getting me pregnant?” she asked, smiling. His growl was answer enough, so she continued speaking, “Do you trust me to have the houses placed?”

  “I trust you with everything, including my heart,” Paul said softly.

  “I will take care of that as well. I took out what looks like steaks. I will see you at dinner. It’s Wednesday so we are having meat and potatoes, but no dessert. Momma can’t be having you getting fat on me,” she said with a chuckle.

  “You are just scared a big fat belly will make my wiener look tiny,” he said, laughing.

  “That, my good man, had not entered my mind,” she said, looking at the map on the wall of the proposed trails. “Hey Paul, I am looking at this layout on the office wall. I see markers for 3 & 4, which I thought were already in. Are these houses five and six?”

  “No, these are three and four. The other you are now standing in,” he said.

  “Okay, who is the driver delivering the houses?”

  “That is Joey Two Legs. He also builds the houses. Once you pick the spot, he will drop them and come back out in the next two days and install them. The water tanks are in place as well as the septic systems,” Paul told her.

  “Or I could feed Mr. Two Legs a big meal, let him sleep it off, and then he can work when you get home,” she said.

  “Nope. He can drop those houses and get the hell off my property and away from my wife,” Paul said adamantly.

  Kalinda laughed loudly.

  “I’m not joking, Kalinda. You don’t even want to know why they call him Two Legs,” Paul growled into the phone.

  “I was thinking he was a Native American,” she said.

  “No, he is not. He is just a big ole sumbitch with a huge...,” Paul started to say as the man walked through the door. His penis came in first, then the rest of him.

  Kalinda was babbling into the line.

  “The big dicked joker just walked into the office, didn’t he?” Paul growled through his teeth.

  “Yes, they both are here,” Kalinda said, biting her bottom lip.

  “Screw this! I am on my way home,” Paul said, clicking off the line. Kalinda had to turn her back for a moment to keep from staring at the huge bulge in the man’s pants.

  “Hiya, Joey. I am Kalinda Darton. Paul is on his way home. I have some coffee on if you’d like a cup, and I baked these cookies last night,” she said, extending her hand for a shake.

  “Nope. No time. I have a hot date tonight, so I want to get these houses dropped and be on my way. I’ll take one of them cookies, though,” he said accepting the sweet treat.

  “Okay, then, here are the points where they go. I will drive my car up behind you, and pinpoint the spots, and we go from there,” Kalinda said, straining to keep her eyes on his chest as she pointed at the map.

  “Yep. Know those trails. Let’s ride,” he said.

  Kalinda wished she could say that a man with a penis as large as toddler’s leg was the least of the weirdest thing in her day, but it wasn’t. Joey Two Legs hummed show tunes when he worked. He was halfway through The Music Man , right as he hit the capital P that rhymed T that stood for trouble, when he reached down, grabbed the toddler leg, shook it, and adjusted it.

  “Sorry, it was getting squeezed,” he said blushing. Joey and his big friend started singing the theme song from Rent . It didn’t take Kalinda 525,600 minutes to realize Joey and all three of his legs liked to bat for the other team. Initially, she had felt sorry for the poor woman who planned to tackle that monster tonight, but she now felt even worse for the poor chap who wouldn’t be able to sit down in the morning. Or ever. He worked diligently and once the locations were agreed upon for placement of the house, she talked with him about crosswinds for ventilation.

  “Sure,” he told her, bending and picking up some dirt to toss in the air. The wind blew the dirt in his ruddy face. Again, shifting his third leg, he adjusted the angle he backed in the truck, tied off the hoisting lines, and lowered the first house to the ground. Confident he had it all in hand, she returned home nearly two hours later to find there were visitors on her front porch. The first were QT and Curly Joe inviting themselves to dinner. The second was the one-person Paul said would never come for a visit.

  Luke Darton was also waiting.

  Kalinda was uncertain if the second half of the town received their mail that afternoon, because Paul left his route and came rolling into the canyon on two wheels. She hadn’t even had an opportunity to greet her guests before he jumped out of his vehicle without even shutting off the ignition. He spotted Curly Joe and QT, but his eyes were fixed on his brother.

  Luke sat in his chair on his front porch wearing a thousand-dollar suit, looking bored out of his mind. Well that was until QT stood up. As the woman rose from the porch stairs stretching to reach her full height, the expanse of her bottom nearly hypnotized Luke as he stared at the massive buttocks. His eyes grew almost as wide as QT’s bottom as he sat there transfixed like the secrets of the universe had walked up and taken a seat in front of him and pulled up its skirt.

  “Luke, what brings you across the great state of Oregon?” Paul asked trying to drag his brother’s eyes away from the bodacious bottom.

  “I came to...,” Luke said, trying desperately to drag his eyes away from QT’s backside, but he couldn’t make himself look away.

  Kalinda stepped forward, smiling at them all. “Good thing I took out extra for supper. Honey, fire up the grill, I have some steak marinating in the fridge. I assume QT and Curley Joe are planning to stay for dinner?”

  “That would be real nice if you two don’t mind. Paul was telling me about all your grand plans and I sure could use a new roof on my place. But I need to make some good food in my restaurant that will make people come back and spend some money. Honest, I am not that great of a cook,” QT said with some chagrin. “I’m hoping you can teach me.”

  “I don’t know about all of that, but I have cookbooks. If you can follow directions, you can make a good meal,” she said, reaching for Luke’s arm.

  “Welcome to our home, brother,” Kalinda said with a smile. “I hope you brought an overnight bag because once you eat my good cooking, you aren’t going to be able to drive back. Come on in everyone. The guest room is all ready, but Paul could use a hand getting that grill going. Curley Joe, lend a hand, please, with this kitchen table.”

  No one questioned her as each person began to move about. “QT, you are with me in the kitchen, peeling potatoes and onions and shelling peas,” she said. “If all goes well, we can have dinner on the table in less than an hour.”

  Paul and Luke moved to the back porch, firing up the gas grill. Luke’s eyes kept going back into the house. His gaze wandered from Curley Joe to QT.

  “What does a man do with a woman with all that ass?” Luke inquired.

  “It’s just flesh,” Paul said.

  “Yeah, but you need at least ten inches of man flesh to transcend the mass of ass meat. I mean, seriously, how much cock do you need to satisfy her?” Luke said, staring through the back door at QT bending over into the potato hopper.

  “Luke, good grief, it’s just an ass. On her back it is flat,” Paul told him.

  “On her back? Can you imagine how that would spread when she lies down?”

  Paul moved quickly across the back porch to stand close to his brother. “Luke, she is a sweet, God fearing woman who would give you the shirt off her back. Please don’t be disrespectful. I sure don’t want you to hurt her feelings.”

  “The shirt off her back is one thing, but can you imagine a pair of
her panties?”

  “Shut up and go inside to get the meat Kalinda marinated from the fridge so I can get it cooked,” he told his brother.

  Luke, surprised at the authority in Paul’s voice, obeyed his younger brother, entering the kitchen just as QT was turning. Luke tried to move out of the way but was sideswiped by at least 36 inches of the left side of her ass, lifting him from his feet and knocking him out the back door.

  “Well, damn!” he said, lying on his back on the floor in the doorway. Paul stood over him and started to laugh as he helped him to his feet. For the first time since they were children, they shared a meal and a laugh without being at each other’s throats. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

  “Sometimes a start is all you need,” Kalinda whispered to herself.

  Chapter 18

  L uke Darton hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he smelled the food. The scent of potatoes and onions, one of his favorite foods, evidently was also his brother’s, who absently rubbed at his stomach. Kalinda had been right, dinner was on the table in less than an hour. He didn’t even mind that she’d come outside, pulled a head of something green from the ground, rinsed it off with a hose, and took it inside to cut it up. Salad ?

  The small table that had rested against the wall now had its leaf up and easily accommodated the five diners.

  “I really like this table,” QT said, running her fingers over the wood.

  “I love that table. That centerpiece also expands, enlarging the table to seat ten,” she said. “I bought it in hopes that in future or on holidays, we will have loads of friends and family over.” Her eyes went to Luke.

  “Get washed up for dinner, big brother,” she said with a smile. There was no steak sauce in a bottle, so Kalinda grabbed some ketchup, a little Worcestershire sauce, and a tad bit of apple cider vinegar and mixed them with some brown sugar, salt, pepper, and tabasco, and set it on the table.

  “What is that?” Luke asked.

  “Steak sauce,” she said with a wink. “It doesn’t have to come in a bottle you know.”