Dead of Autumn
Page 14
Anger overcame fear. Alexa leapt to her feet. “I want you out of here immediately, Caleb, and I don’t ever want to see you again. Get out. Get out now.”
Caleb grabbed his jacket and walked deliberately to the door, his parting words dripping with contempt. “Why would I want to stay now that I know who you really are, you Jezebel?”
When Caleb opened the door, he stepped to the side as Scout rushed into the room. The frantic dog raced to Alexa. Caleb bolted, closing the door before Scout could turn on him.
Seconds later, Alexa collapsed onto a soft wing chair and heard Caleb slam the door of his pick-up truck. Stones peppered the front deck like bullets as Caleb gunned the motor and spun his tires in the loose gravel. Finally, the truck raced away down the driveway, and a heavy stillness descended on the cabin.
Alexa couldn’t bring herself to move. Scout snuffled over her in concern. Oblivious, Alexa remained glued to the cushions, her mind a blank. After several minutes, Alexa became conscious that she was sobbing and snapped back to reality. Using the mastiff’s big back for leverage, she pushed herself into a sitting position. Then, she walked to the front door and slammed the bolt shut.
“I need a shower,” she said, shuddering. “I need to wash that bastard off me.”
She had been a willing participant when Caleb initiated sex this evening. Even though it had quickly turned into something more disturbing, Alexa couldn’t call it rape. Still, Alexa felt compelled to scrub away this feeling of violation.
Glancing at the clock, she was amazed that it was just nine o’clock. Caleb had walked in here less than two hours ago. This nightmare of an evening had seemed so much longer.
When she left the shower, the water had turned cool. Alexa stood in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. Although her skin was unbroken, red marks covered both breasts. Her stomach and inner thighs were bruised from Caleb’s knee. Her right wrist was black and blue where Caleb held it as he pinned Alexa to the couch. Seeing these injuries only pissed Alexa off more. She straightened up and declared, “If you let this get to you, that bastard is going to win. He wanted to destroy you—don’t let him. You are better than that. You are better than Caleb Browne.”
Alexa hobbled slowly back downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. Scout crowded next to her on the loveseat, his head resting in her lap. Huddled beside the healing warmth of the woodstove, she wondered how she had gotten to this point.
I have been dating this man for months without a clue to his real character. How could my judgment have been so flawed? Was I so intent on a casual fling that I overlooked any warning signs?
Though, to be honest, she’d never really invested in a relationship with Caleb. Then, after that day at Kingdom Lodge, she’d realized that their differences were too fundamental to ignore.
Even then I had no idea what I was dealing with. With his conservative background and minister father, abortion is a hot button issue for Caleb. When he thought I was deliberately deceiving him, he just lost it. I think he really was getting serious about me. That must have sent him further around the bend when he found out about the clinic. I wonder who told him …
The thoughts swirled endlessly until Alexa just couldn’t deal with them anymore. Rising, she checked the locks and trudged upstairs to bed with Scout at her heels.
Chapter Nineteen
Scout settled into bed beside Alexa, as if knowing instinctively that she needed comfort. Exhausted, she fell into a restless sleep almost immediately. When she woke, Alexa was surprised to find that it was nearly ten in the morning. Swinging her feet to the floor, Alexa discovered that her bruises throbbed and she ached in places that had felt fine last night. Caleb’s angry and punishing sexual assault had drained her both physically and emotionally. Even though she had slept for hours she was still tired.
Alexa pulled on sweatpants and one of her favorite old sweaters before she followed Scout downstairs. She opened the door to let the anxious dog out, saying, “Thanks, buddy, for letting me sleep in. I really needed it.” Alexa busied herself with making breakfast, but when she tasted the oatmeal in her bowl, she pushed it away. There was a hard sick knot in her stomach, and she couldn’t eat. Once Scout was back in the house, Alexa stoked up the woodstove to ward off the chill.
Scenes from last evening crowded Alexa’s mind. Caleb screaming at her, calling her a whore. That minute when she realized that the sex had turned into something twisted and unpleasant. Standing in the shower trying to wash the whole experience away.
Last night, she had just wanted to bury the encounter with Caleb by going to sleep. In the clear light of Sunday morning, Alexa realized that the experience was not going to just disappear—she was going to have to deal with it.
“Scout, take a nap or something. I’m going to see if meditation can focus my mind.”
Five minutes later, Alexa gave up any pretense of meditation. She just couldn’t quiet her turmoil.
The ringing phone provided a welcome interruption. Elise Kearns told Alexa that Doctor Crowe’s condition had been downgraded from critical to serious. “They are talking about moving him out of ICU in a few days if his condition remains stable. I believe Frank will be hospitalized for quite some time yet. But, he has turned the corner and will almost certainly recover.”
Alexa was so pleased to hear about Doc. “Maybe I can get in to the hospital to see him as soon as he’s moved from ICU. Do you know if the police have any leads on who shot him?”
“Not that I know. There is one good piece of news though. The police are finished with the clinic, and we’ll be opening again on Monday. I told the police that women depend upon us for their medical care and that we need to be back in business as soon as possible.”
“Thanks for the update, Elise. I’ll see you at the clinic on Wednesday.” Alexa thought about mentioning the protestors who had accosted her in the supermarket parking lot a few days ago, but she didn’t want to alarm Elise over an ambiguous incident. After all, Officer Starke didn’t think there was much to be concerned about.
The phone rang again. Without so much as a greeting, Alexa’s mother chirped, “Since Thanksgiving is fast approaching, I wanted to make sure you are bringing pumpkin pies and cranberry salad. Kate is making sweet potatoes, and I’m doing everything else.”
“Of course, I’ll bring the pies and cranberry. Don’t I always?” The thought of Thanksgiving dinner made Alexa smile. Even when she was in the city, she always made it home for the annual celebration of overeating and family togetherness. And, thanks to the miracle of frozen pie crusts and canned pumpkin mix, even Alexa had mastered the pumpkin pie.
As they finished the conversation, her mother asked with concern, “Is everything all right, Alexa? You don’t quite sound yourself today.”
“I’m fine, Mom,” she lied. “I just don’t feel up to par. I’m just going to hang around the house for the rest of the day and take it easy. Luckily, it’s a week and a half until Thanksgiving, so I’m sure I make a full recovery in time to make pies.”
A few minutes later, the phone rang one more time. Reese asked if Alexa wanted to ride with him to Long Lake Dam. “I got tapped to drive some supplies up to a ranger working on a project near there. The ranger mentioned that a flock of snow geese had landed on the lake. I thought you might like to see them.”
“Thanks, Reese, but no. I actually would like to see the snow geese. But, I’m not feeling well today. I’m burrowed in for the afternoon.”
“Get well. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Reese Michaels, thought Alexa as she put the phone down. Just speaking to him lifts my mood. However, after last night’s disastrous end to my most recent relationship, it’s way too soon to be thinking about a new one. It’s even more bizarre to consider getting involved with Reese, given the circumstances. Caleb used sex as a way to lash out at me last night. Now, less than twenty-four hours later, I’m mooning over a man who, according to Haley, may have a history of sexual assaul
t.
Alexa wondered again about the coincidence of Elizabeth Nelson being found in Michaux, a place that Reese worked every day. Was he the mystery boyfriend who dumped her in a place he thought no one would find? Even as Alexa formed the thought, she rejected it. From what she knew of Reese, she didn’t think he was capable of murder. But, how well did she really know this guy?
Even taking a more rational perspective made Reese an unlikely suspect. The man was too intelligent to kill his girlfriend and dispose of her body in the same state forest where he worked. What was it her dad always said, “You don’t crap in your own backyard?” Plus, Reese had only been on the job since late spring, while neighbors had seen Elizabeth with the same boyfriend for many months.
Alexa didn’t want to believe that Reese could be either a rapist or a murderer. But, her judgment about men had just been proven to be lacking. She could be wrong about Reese, too.
To make sure she didn’t have to speak to anyone else, Alexa tuned the phone ringer to silent. She needed time alone to process what had happened with Caleb. She added more logs to the woodstove, wrapped an afghan around her legs, and sat on the couch to brood. Scout parked himself on the floor at her side, studying her mournfully as if he sensed her distress and confusion.
Alexa was bewildered. How could she have let herself get into a situation where she knew so little about this man? Alexa realized that she had always stayed detached from Caleb and never allowed herself to get too involved. Did keeping an emotional distance from Caleb mean that she’d always had reservations? Or, did it mean that she feared commitment, period?
Alexa concluded that the sexual mistreatment was not her biggest concern from last evening’s nightmare with Caleb. Surprisingly, she was most upset that the incident had exposed her physical vulnerability. Despite her attempts to break away from Caleb, she simply had no leverage against a man of his size. Alexa had always thought of herself as physically fit and strong. Last night had taught her an uncomfortable lesson about the limits of that self-image.
Thinking about Caleb, she shifted from introspection to anger. Regardless of what she may have done wrong, Caleb’s actions were inexcusable. Instead of agonizing over whether to break up with Caleb, she should never have had anything to do with him in the first place. She tried to recall the things he had said last night as he lashed out at her.
Clearly, abortion was the major issue. Perhaps she had always known that her volunteer work at the clinic would be much too liberal for Caleb’s taste. Maybe that’s why she had never once mentioned it.
Although her connection to the clinic was hardly a secret, Alexa wondered how Caleb discovered that she worked there. Could he know the young guys in the fleece jackets? Possibly. But, did they even know her name? It came to her in a flash. It was the pregnant woman with the protestors. Although Alexa had only chatted briefly with Joel’s wife at Kingdom Lodge, she now realized that Leah was the woman on the picket line who had seemed so familiar. She probably couldn’t wait to tell Caleb about seeing Alexa.
Wait a minute.
Alexa considered a new possibility. Did all of the protestors come from Reverend Browne’s church? The women on the picket line all wore long dresses similar to the women Alexa had seen at Kingdom Lodge.
If she was correct, Alexa could almost understand why Caleb had lost it. For Reverend Browne’s son to be caught dating an abortion advocate would surely embarrass Caleb among the congregation. Caleb’s father didn’t seem like a man who would easily dismiss such an error of judgment by his own son. Frankly, Caleb seemed almost afraid of his father that day they were at the lodge.
Then, there was Caleb’s accusation of promiscuity. Alexa said to Scout, “Funny isn’t it? Mr. Religious didn’t seem to mind the promiscuity so much until last night. What a double standard. It was fine for the two of us to have sex, but I’m the one who’s promiscuous. I guess that goes right along with his comments on ‘a woman’s place.’ After all these months, I find out that this guy is a complete asshole.”
What else had Caleb said last night? Something about Rebecca? Yes, he said that I was a whore “just like Rebecca.” Rebecca, the sister who Caleb said wasn’t here anymore. Had she left the area because she had gotten pregnant? Maybe she even had an abortion. With that family, either an out-of-wedlock pregnancy or an abortion would cause Reverend Daddy to throw her out. Rebecca was obviously a sore subject for Caleb. Surprising, in a way, since he always spoke so fondly of her as a child. Alexa wondered where she was now …
Alexa resolved to learn from the experience with Caleb, although it might take her time to figure out all the lessons to be derived. As the afternoon waned, Alexa needed some respite from her thoughts. She spent an hour stretching out her sore muscles with yoga. By the time she finished a brief period of successful meditation, Alexa was ready to put Caleb and last night behind her. She was ready to move on.
Alexa rushed out to Melinda’s desk with another document to format. This week was crazy with three court-imposed deadlines on the horizon.
“It never rains but it pours,” Melinda sighed, as always having a pithy saying to fit the situation at hand.
“True,” acknowledged Alexa, “but the office is closed for three days over Thanksgiving, so we’ll have time to rest after this is done.”
“Rest? I have to cook Thanksgiving dinner for fifteen people on Thursday. Friday is Black Friday, so my daughter and I will be shopping all day. Then, on Saturday, I have to help George pack for deer camp, which is always a major production. I won’t have any time to relax until at least Sunday. There’s just no rest for the weary.”
“Enough with the cliches, Melinda. Next thing I know, you’ll be telling me to ‘Throw the cow over the fence some hay.’”
Just then, Brian sidled by and remarked snidely, “I think it so charming that you two speak Pennsylvania Dutch to each other.” He then focused on Alexa. “Williams, how many visits do you expect from the police this week? If you need an attorney who’s not a family member, I’d be happy to represent you, for a reasonable fee.”
“Brian, thank you, but I don’t need an attorney. I’d love to chat some more, but I’m really slammed with work this week. What is it that you’re working on? Or maybe you don’t have enough to do, and that’s why you’re trying to drum up business from me?”
When Brian moved on, Alexa said, “I don’t know why that guy always rubs me the wrong way. But, he seems to go out of his way to antagonize me. Who knows what he’s saying to other people about these police visits?”
“Personally, Alexa, I think Brian is more worried about himself than you. Maybe that little squirrel has some nuts in his cage that he doesn’t want the police to find out about. Did you ever think of that?”
“What do you mean? Do you have some dirt on Stewart?”
“Well, apparently that new clerk, Tiffany, saw Brian at a concert down at Hershey last month. I think it was one of those rock ‘n’ roll revival acts, maybe the Beach Boys. No, I think it was Black Sabbath.”
“Big difference. Melinda, I don’t think the police are going to arrest Brian for his musical tastes, no matter how criminal. Seriously, Black Sabbath? And this Tiffany was there, too?
“No. No. It’s not the music. It’s who Brian was with. Tiffany said that Brian had his hands all over this little blonde who looked like she was about sixteen. Jailbait. Maybe that’s what has Brian worried …”
“Although Brian and I have our differences, I can’t imagine he would date a teenager. The girl could be a lot older than she looks. I see these kids come into the clinic sometimes, thinking that they can’t be more than thirteen, and it turns out that they’re college students. I don’t think you should spread Tiffany’s gossip any further.”
“You’re probably right. Loose lips sink ships.”
Alexa groaned as she retreated back into her office. She quickly forgot about Brian Stewart as she turned her attention to the pile of legal work.
Alexa thought that s
he might have to forgo her volunteer afternoon at the clinic on Wednesday. But, after yoga class she skipped the usual trip to the Om Cafe and went home to spend a few hours editing documents. Work was a good way to avoid thinking about the fiasco with Caleb. Plus, Alexa just wasn’t ready to talk to Melissa and Haley about any part of the experience.
By noon on Wednesday, Alexa had nearly completed her projects and decided to go to the clinic. She hadn’t heard any updates on Doc’s condition since her short phone conversation with Elise on Sunday, so she hoped for a progress report.
To be honest, Alexa also wanted to walk through the clinic door to confirm that Caleb’s diatribe on Saturday had not affected her commitment to freedom of choice. Although work had claimed her attention over the past few days, it had not eclipsed her brooding about the ugly scene with Caleb. It didn’t help that Caleb had left messages on her home phone on both Monday and Tuesday, apologizing for his actions and wanting to work things out between them.
Alexa was furious. How could Caleb possibly imagine that she could forgive him or that there was anything left to work out? He had treated her badly, caused her physical harm, and said unforgivable things. She had been wearing long sleeves all week to cover the bruise on her wrist. And the bruise on her abdomen throbbed during spinal twists in yoga class. Walking into the clinic today was partly a way for Alexa to say, “Fuck you” to Caleb.
A few minutes early, Alexa strolled slowly toward the clinic, taking time to study the group of six protesting across the street. Neither Leah nor the young men in jeans were there today. Looking at the others, however, made Alexa wonder how she could have missed the link between these austere and vaguely old fashioned people and the ones she had seen at Kingdom Lodge. Now that she had made the connection, it seemed glaringly apparent that this group was part of Reverend Browne’s congregation.
Alexa walked through the clinic door but stopped in alarm when she saw the young man in the fleece jacket standing over Tanisha. Her hand went into her pocket for her cell phone to call the police. To her surprise, Tanisha looked up with a smile as the young man approached Alexa.