Lurker

by Stefan Petrucha

  MC9010025: Not really. Always been part of the crowd

  Kylenevers: U R lucky. I never got that, but maybe college

  MC9010025: Definitely college. I’m sure of it

  Kylenevers: Thnx. It’d b nice 2 chill in 1 place. Travel bcause I want 2 travel not bcause I have 2. Still luv 2 go places

  MC9010025: Where do u want 2 go next?

  Kylenevers: Brazil…Rio, Sao Paulo. Or maybe Prague.

  MC9010025: Prague? Really? I was just thinking about it. Weird.

  Kylenevers: Kewl. What were u thinking?

  MC9010025: Just someplace I’d like to go.

  Kylenevers: I was there once, but only a couple days. Didn’t c much. 2 much running. I’ve spent time in most of the big European cities…London, Paris, Berlin, all over Italy, and I got 2 see a lot. Met kewl peeps, but not Prague. Rio would b kewl 2 though bcuz I’ve never been b4.

  Mandy’s heart beat a little faster reading his reply. He’d seen so many cool places. And she could picture Kyle there. Her imagination put him on a bustling street in London with a red double-decker bus rolling by; she saw him at the base of the Eiffel Tower, and pictured him in a gondola floating slowly along a canal in Venice. In this last daydream, she pictured herself on the bench next to him, nestled in the crook of his elbow, drifting on the water and looking out at ancient, beautiful buildings. She felt herself blush.

  MC9010025: Sounds amazing. I hope u get 2 go.

  Kylenevers: Thnx. U 2. I totally have to go somewhere soon. Definitely b4 college. Need some time to let the waves settle

  MC9010025: Waves?

  Kylenevers: family crap. No big deal

  MC9010025: We all have that

  Kylenevers: HEY wheres ur pic? U got mine.

  MC9010025: Well, u were the 1 stalking me remember. I don’t have 2 prove anything. LOL

  Kylenevers: LOL. I’ll get u 4 that.

  “So, let me get this straight,” Laurel said through the phone at Mandy’s ear. “The rest of us are freaking out and locked up 24/7 because Nicki died, and you’re out cruising the superhighway for hottie hitchhikers?”

  Mandy laughed. “It’s not like that.”

  “You’re some kind of megaho.”

  “I told you, he IM’d me.”

  “Ho.”

  “I am not a ho,” Mandy said with another laugh. “Knock it off. God, I don’t even know if I’m going to meet him or not. He’s just a nice guy.”

  “You said he was a full-on hottie.”

  “He is.”

  “And you just want to chat with him?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yeah. Uh-huh. Ho.”

  “Whatever,” Mandy said. “You’re just jealous.”

  “Damn right,” Laurel replied. “I haven’t had a date in like two months, and you’re lining ’em up like a boy-band producer.”

  “It’s one guy, L.”

  “And Dale.”

  “Who is soooo yesterday.”

  “Said the ho.”

  “I’m calling Drew back. She totally understands.”

  “I bet,” Laurel said. She changed her voice, suddenly speaking in a softer, higher tone. “Ooooooo, he sounds so dreamy. I’ll bet he sneaks over to your house with roses and kisses you. He probably reads poetry and has a unit the size of your arm. Oh, tell me about him again. Oh. Tell me. Oh. Oh. Harder. Oh Kyle. Oh.”

  Mandy cracked up, falling over on her bed as Laurel continued to coo into the phone, imitating their friend. She laughed so hard that tears filled her eyes. “Knock it off,” she said, her voice spluttering from the laughter.

  “Yeah, she understands all right. Until we get her a man, she’ll keep using ours and her shower massage.”

  “You can be such a bitch to her.”

  “It’s all from love,” Laurel said. “I love. I tease. They are my gifts.”

  “So, is your dad letting you come to school tomorrow?”

  “Yes,” Laurel said, as if the word weighed a ton. “Now that everyone knows what that guy looks like, he figures I can go places that are populated and well lit. His words. Not mine.”

  “Then you don’t have to sit home all weekend,” Mandy said, wiping the last tear from her cheek. “We can catch a movie or something.”

  “Definitely.”

  “Good. The sooner things get back to normal, the happier I’ll be.”

  6

  Mandy barely saw her friends over the weekend, though they did manage to spend a couple hours at the mall Saturday afternoon. She spent all of Friday night online with Kyle. She liked chatting with him, not only because he told funny stories about all of the places she dreamed of going one day, but also because he really seemed to understand her. Sometimes they wrote the exact same line of text and sent them simultaneously. Then they’d both rush to write Jinx and LMAO. They were totally in sync with each other. Which is why she felt bad, even a little hurt, that Kyle wasn’t online Saturday night. Mandy waited to see his handle show up on her buddy list, but it never did. Eventually, she turned on the television and fell asleep. Now it was Sunday, and she planned to meet Laurel and Drew at Nicki’s funeral. But Mandy was running late.

  MC9010025: Everybody at skool was just weird on Fri

  Kylenevers: U mentioned that.

  MC9010025: Sorry.:-) It was the same way in the mall yesterday. People just wandering around, looking sad. They couldn’t have all known Nicki, but it’s like they did. U know?

  Kylenevers: It’s a tribal reaction. I’ve seen it a lot.

  MC9010025: Tribal????

  Kylenevers: Sure. It doesn’t matter that they didn’t know N all that well. She lived among them, part of the town, part of the tribe.

  Mandy smiled. Here was another example of them being totally in sync.

  MC9010025: I thought the same kind of thing the day it happened. I didn’t know Nicki real well, but it felt like a really good friend had died.

  Kylenevers: It’s natural. Every1 is looking 4 answers and scared. And they’re all hurt, and they know every1 around them feels the same way. For a while it actually makes them nicer, more polite. It doesn’t last.

  MC9010025: Well, I wouldn’t mind if the nice stuck around

  Kylenevers: Believe me, compared 2 some of the places I lived, Elmwood started out plenty nice.

  MC9010025: I guess. R u going to N’s funeral?

  Kylenevers: Can’t. Brunch with family and a friend of dad’s. He’s a real player at Stanford U. It’s 1 of the colleges high on my list, so I totally have 2 show.

  MC9010025: Kewl

  Kylenevers: Shouldn’t you have left by now?

  MC9010025: OMG! Crap. I am soooo late. Gotta go. TTFN

  Kylenevers: BFN

  By the time Mandy got to the chapel, it was already full. People stood on the threshold and spilled out onto the concrete walk. Cameramen and reporters gathered near the door, and Mandy skirted them, choosing to stand on a small circle of concrete at the corner of the church. She tried to call Laurel on her cell, but for once in her life, Laurel had the phone turned off. Drew’s phone was the same. So, Mandy stood on the periphery of the gathered mourners, men in black suits and women in conservative dresses and pantsuits.

  She wished Kyle were there, though she totally understood him wanting to make points with the guy from Stanford. Kyle was focused on his future, and she liked that about him. Besides, Mandy had to admit, it would be pretty strange to have a first date (okay not a date, just meeting) at a classmate’s funeral.

  A man wearing a long black coat walked into Mandy’s peripheral vision, and her heart skipped a beat. She turned toward him, instantly thinking of the Witchman. But it was just a mourner, making his way to the chapel doors.

  When Dale pulled his Audi into the lot and parked against the curb behind a news van, she knew she wouldn’t stay. At first, a spark of defiance kept her feet grounded. She wasn’t going to run off just because of him. She did, however, rationalize that she couldn’t see the service. She would
never get in. It’ll probably go on for hours. Besides, she had gone to the candlelight vigil. If Nicki were looking down at her, she’d totally understand.

  So, Mandy slipped around the side of the church, walking up a grassy rise and back onto Summer Avenue, which would wind around to Garret Street three blocks from her house.

  At home, she logged on to her computer and waited for Kyle to get home from brunch so she could tell him all about the circus at the chapel.

  “So, you ditched us for a username?” Laurel said. “Not cool.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. We were just chatting and I wasn’t watching the time. How was the service?”

  “Well, I’m still a mess,” Laurel said. “It was beautiful and really sweet, and I don’t think I’ve cried that much in my life.”

  “How’d Drew hold up?”

  “How do you think?”

  “That bad?”

  “Worse,” Laurel said. “But hell, no one was exactly acting cool, you know?”

  “I’m really sorry,” Mandy said. “I should have been there.”

  “Damn straight. But we gotta keep livin’, so I sort of forgive you. But only sort of.”

  “What are you doing for the rest of the afternoon?” Mandy asked.

  “Talkin’ to you. Talkin’ to Drew. Watchin’ some screen. Might actually study for that calculus test Wednesday.”

  “Do you think Walpern will really give us a test this week? God, nobody can even concentrate on normal things.”

  “You were there Friday. You heard him. He said ‘test,’ so I’m thinkin’ test. And since calculus is the one class that wants to blow my grade point, I’m thinkin’ crackin’ that book might be a good idea.”

  “Ugh,” Mandy said. “I’ll never be ready by Wednesday.”

  “You will if you don’t spend all your time chattin’ with Mr. Internet Yummy Drawers.”

  7

  Kylenevers: How was skool?

  MC9010025: 2 words 4 ya: Calculus test.

  Kylenevers: Calculus is ez.

  MC9010025: So not

  Kylenevers: Things back 2 normal? Sort of?

  MC9010025: Again…so not. The teachers r. We’re getting homework again, and tests!!! Ugh! But most of us r still weirded out. I can’t beleev it’s been a week since Nicki died.

  Kylenevers: We should chat about something else.

  MC9010025: I know. Ur right, but it’s like being in 1 of those zombie movies

  Kylenevers: You like zombie movies?

  MC9010025: Not

  Kylenevers: Oh.

  MC9010025: I dated a guy 4 awhile and he took me 2 1. Ick!

  Kylenevers: LOL. I like them even though they look so fake

  MC9010025: So, uv met a lot of zombies? LOL

  Kylenevers: Some. They aren’t very good kissers.

  MC9010025: GROSS! LMAO.

  Kylenevers: Do u like 2 kiss?

  MC9010025: Doesn’t every1?

  Kylenevers: No. Actually.

  MC9010025: Well, I do.

  Kylenevers: Do u think u’d like 2 kiss me?

  Mandy leaned back in her chair and stared at the keyboard. This was the first time either of them had said anything remotely romantic. For all of their chatting, they usually just joked around and shared stories about their families, friends, and lives. Did she want to kiss him? She wanted to write yes, but it seemed way stupid. She didn’t even know what his voice sounded like, and this realization made her feel really strange. Maybe they should talk on the phone. Or actually meet!

  MC9010025: Maybe

  Kylenevers: Maybe? U fraid I’m going to taste like zombie?

  MC9010025: LOL! What do zombies taste like?

  Kylenevers: pork chops soaked in bleach

  MC9010025: Ugh! So gross.

  Kylenevers: U asked.

  MC9010025: Well, since I’m asking questions, do you think we could talk on the phone sometime?

  Kylenevers: And ruin the magic? LOL

  MC9010025: There’s magic? Did I miss something;-)

  Kylenevers: LMAO. Thnx. I don’t feel dissed or anything. Crap! Mom’s calling me. Gotta run. Chat tomorrow?

  MC9010025: Sure

  Kylenevers: O! If you’re serious about

  Prague, check out Karlstejn Castle. It’s totally kewl. Way goth inside. Awesome views. It was the only thing I really got 2 C when I went.

  MC9010025: K

  Kylenevers: C U

  MC9010025: TTFN

  Kylenevers: back atcha.

  Mandy smiled. She ran her cursor over the name of the castle, copied it, and then closed the IM window. She Googled the name and spent a few minutes surfing pages, looking at pictures and reading blurbs of copy about it. It really wasn’t a very pretty place, she decided, but it was cool. The place looked like one of those castles they used in old, old horror movies—movies from the ’60s. It was the kind of place where insane barons killed their wives in dank torture chambers, the kind of place for ghosts and vampires. One interior shot showed a massive stone room with wooden tables and a faded brown tapestry hanging from iron bars. Kyle was right; it was totally goth. Her imagination let loose, and she pictured Kyle leading her through the dark halls of Karlstejn Castle, gripping her hand tightly to guide her. They were not tourists in this place, but rather the owners—a king, a queen. Mandy shook her head, telling herself how silly she was being.

  She closed the Web page.

  Not quite ready to let go of Kyle for the night, she clicked on the file with his picture, and it burst across her screen. She followed the wave of his blond hair as it swept back from his forehead and looked into his clear green eyes that sparkled with embarrassment beneath the hand he used to salute her.

  “Weird,” Mandy said, squinting at the picture.

  Somehow the image seemed different. Kyle was still a hottie holding a hairbrush and saluting her, but he seemed to have shadows on his face that she hadn’t noticed before. They ran along the bottom of his cheekbones, giving him a slightly gaunt look. Something was strange about the hairbrush, also: The light that reflected on its shiny black side looked like a sharp edge rather than just a glimmer of light. Had the contrast of the picture changed somehow? That couldn’t be. She’d looked at the picture a dozen times, but she hadn’t done anything to manipulate the image. Maybe it was the way her desk lamp reflected off the screen that made it look wrong. It had to be something like that. Pictures didn’t just change on their own.

  Thursday was a day of surprises.

  After school, Laurel and Drew came back to Mandy’s place to hang out. Both were curious about this Kyle guy she kept talking about, so they followed her upstairs to her room and waited for her computer to boot up. When the picture opened, both of her friends pushed in close to look at the screen.

  “Yeah,” Laurel said, “he’s got some major yummy going on.”

  “God, he’s so cute,” Drew said, already drifting into a romantic haze. “It’s totally fate. I mean, if you hadn’t broken up with Dale, and if Nicki hadn’t been killed, you two might never have met.”

  “Yeah,” Laurel said, “more kids should get sliced up so we can all get dates.”

  Drew’s face fell, her dreamy voice quieting. “I just meant, it’s great that something nice came out of something so bad. Jeez, Laurel.”

  “I’m just playin’,” Laurel said, reaching out to pat Drew’s knee. “It’s all good.”

  Mandy smiled, pleased that her friends approved. She leaned back in the chair so they could get a better look and both slid a little closer to the monitor, gawking at the screen.

  “I can’t believe I was there when you met,” Drew said.

  “We haven’t met.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Hey,” Laurel said, “I thought you said he was our age.”

  “He is,” Mandy replied. “He’s seventeen.”

  “You sure? Boy looks like he’s already got a couple of years of frat parties behind him.”

  “He doe
s look older,” Drew agreed. “Like my brother’s age or something.”

  Mandy leaned forward and looked closely at the picture. The shadows on Kyle’s cheeks seemed more pronounced, even more than they had the night before. Another shadow, one she hadn’t noticed the night before or any other time she’d looked at the picture, lay across his brow, disappearing into the bigger shadow cast by his saluting palm. When she pulled away from the details of the pic, she had to admit Laurel and Drew were right; he did look older.

  “Once,” Laurel said, “I met a guy online, and he was looking all fine and boylicious. So we meet up, right? He’s got this big old nasty mole on his cheek, and I’m all ‘Where the hell did that come from?’ I figured he Photoshopped it out of his pic or something, because this girl doesn’t go for before-shots. A boy has got to complete Extreme Makeover before he comes callin’ on the L.”

  “That was Hoyt, wasn’t it?” Drew asked.

  “Yeah, Hoyt. So, I’m all pissed off, because I’m thinkin’ he was playin’ me. But I get home and open his picture and there it was, right there on his face as bold as you please. I just didn’t notice it before.”

  Mandy remembered this story now. They were freshmen at Lake Crest when it happened. Laurel spent the rest of the semester being mean to Hoyt, which seemed odd to Mandy since Hoyt didn’t do anything wrong.

  “Well, it’s just a bad pic,” Mandy said. “He shot it in like two seconds while we were chatting.”

  “Looks good enough to me,” Laurel said.

  “Yeah, and you were really smart to have him do that,” Drew said. “I mean, he could have been anybody, even that scary guy that got Nicki.”

  The Witchman, Mandy thought, remembering his beaklike nose and pointed chin. For a few days, that image of his wild-eyed rage, was everywhere: the Internet, the news, and her own dreams. Sometimes in the middle of the night, she woke with that old, wrinkled face hanging before her eyes, even after the nightmares he wandered into had ended.

  “If we’re playing show-and-tell,” Laurel said, “I got something you have to see.”