Return to Abundance

by Shanna Swenson

  “I absolutely love this picture of you and Dallie. I have the same one in my den.”

  He walked back down two steps and bend forward, looking deeply at the picture she was intent on. It was a picture of him and his niece, Dallas; Dallie for short. They were in the hayloft of the barn and she was sitting in his lap. They wore cowboy hats and vests. Nathan was smiling big as she was laughing at something. Her sweet face was tilted up and her eyes were squinted as her small pearly whites shone. She looked like a sweet little blonde angel; her curly locks of hair framing her tiny, cheeky face. Jordan had actually been the one to take the picture with her brand new camera a few days before Christmas year before last. He felt his mouth widen into a smile. The time had been before he had entered the very gates of Hell. When all seemed right with the world and he finally felt like he was moving forward with his life… Yeah, so much for that!

  His smile dissolved and a frown replaced it. He said nothing but swiftly climbed the stairs. Jordan must have witnessed his expression because she followed without another word.

  He stopped at the doorway to Natalie’s old bedroom, waiting for Jordan to enter first. As she stepped into the now spacious suite, her mouth opened in an O. Her eyes scanned the newly painted, newly renovated, newly furnished room. The walls were a light taupe with beige trim. An antique mahogany vanity sat on the west wall, a large computer desk with a swivel chair on the south wall close to the door and a huge cherry wood canopy bed sat in the center with its headboard against a large shaded window. It was draped with a lacy cream-colored canopy. The bed was covered in a soft red comforter with gold accents; throw pillows were piled in the center. The room curved and opened up to a sitting area with a small sofa, a chaise in the corner and an armoire with a TV opposite them. Another door led to the single bathroom which too had been recently renovated to include a Jacuzzi tub and stone tiled shower. He’d also redone the countertops to accommodate a double sink and a cut out for a vanity with a pillowed stool. That had been his sister’s idea of course.

  “This is huge!” She stated.

  “Yeah, I tore down two walls.”

  “So, what about Dallie’s room?”

  “That’s it,” he said and pointed to the sitting room. “I moved her things to the guest room. It’s not like she comes to stay with me anyway... I needed the space to make this room bigger and to adjoin it to the bathroom.” He opened the bathroom door and turned the light on. She followed and walked in ahead of him. She looked around at all the new fixtures then smiled back at him.

  “This is beautiful.”

  “Thanks. It’s got all the amenities for comfortable living I think...”

  “I guess you moved into the master bedroom downstairs, huh?”

  “Yup! You’ll have the whole floor to yourself.”

  “Nice!” she exclaimed and for the first time since she’d arrived, he believed that this may have been her idea after all.

  “So,” he began. “When can you start?”

  “Guess who I talked to today?” Natalie Kinsen asked her husband as she threw her gown over her head. She pulled the gold loops from her ears and placed them in her jewelry box on the night stand then pulled the covers back as she crawled into bed.

  “Who?” Jack asked in a curious voice as he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down over his hips. She smiled as she watched him, admiring the hard muscles of his abs then pulled on her reading glasses and picked her latest book up off the nightstand.

  “Jordan.” She flipped to her bookmark and paused. “You’ll never guess what she’s doing…”

  “What?” Jack’s interest waned as he crawled into bed beside her and began rubbing her growing tummy.

  “She’s going to work for my brother.”

  “What?” he exclaimed in shock, his hand stilled on her. “Has she lost her mind?”

  “That’s what I asked her... Jack, she is actually quitting her job, leaving her apartment and moving into the house.”

  “Wow! I can’t imagine why she would do that. I mean, I know Jordan is sometimes unpredictable, but I also thought she was rather…well, stable.”

  “I know!” Natalie frowned. “I’m just wondering if she realizes what she’s getting herself into.” Jack just shrugged at that, his hands feeling for the baby. “Ow.” She grunted. “She’s over here.” She moved her husband’s hand to her left side where the baby kicked her there.

  “Nice one, Vanna. My little soccer player slash ballerina.” His eyes lit up as well as his face, and Natalie couldn’t help but smile at this man who loved her so much.

  He was so excited about the baby. They had the names picked out. If it was a girl, she would be Savannah Grace Kinsen and if it was a boy, he would be Jackson David Kinsen. Jack was convinced that it was a girl. Dallie wanted a sister. Natalie wasn’t sure what the baby was, she just wanted it be healthy either way. She’d already had several sonograms, but she and Jack had professed that they wanted to be surprised by their baby’s sex.

  The little daredevil kicked again, feeling as if she were doing somersaults in Natalie’s womb.

  “Easy darlin’, you’re killin’ Mommy tonight.” Natalie winced, rubbing the foot that jabbed into her ribs. It had been so long since she’d been pregnant. It was such a wonderful experience, having a life growing inside her, but it was also very tiring, especially when she had a six year old to run after too.

  She actually couldn’t remember enjoying being pregnant this much with Dallie. Of course, now she had a very loving and helpful husband to make the process a bit easier.

  “You feelin’ alright, sweetheart?” Jack asked in a concerned voice.

  “Yeah, just my back...” Her hand moved to her lower back.

  “Bothering you again?” he asked. She nodded. “Here, turn over and let me massage you.” She wouldn’t argue with that. She flipped over on her right side and let his strong, capable hands knead her aching spine. She moaned in relaxation as his hands eased the tension. “This thing with Jordan’s really bothering you, huh?” She grunted a response. She was such an open book to him. It was hard to hide her feelings when he was around.

  “Well, I just hope she doesn’t expect too much from him...”

  “What could she possibly expect?” He dug in deep and she grimaced.

  “I dunno. He will be hard on her. Fair, but hard. Nate is...he’s a broken man.”

  Broken wasn’t the only word she could use to describe her brother. There were at least a thousand she could think of. She had finally stopped worrying about him months ago when it was apparent that he would never be the same person he’d been before all that had happened. Now, she was simply ambiguous and tried her best just to be happy that he’d finally come home to stay and was around for her and Jack and Dallie. She felt as if Nate was just simply a lost cause. He would never be the carefree spirit he once was…and she felt that she was to blame for all of it.

  “Maybe she will be good for him,” Jack said and aligned his body with hers as his arms wrapped around her. He snuggled his chin into the crook of her neck and kissed her there.

  She thought about that for a minute. Maybe he was right. Jordan was feisty. She wouldn’t be taking any crap off Nathan or anyone else for that matter. It would be good for Nate to meet his match. Nothing else had worked.

  “I really hope you’re right.” She sighed and pulled his arms tighter around her.

  Chapter 2

  Jordan spent the entirety of the week packing and moving. Most of her stuff went into storage because her furniture would not be needed and there were a few pieces that she just didn’t want to part with yet. It was afternoon that Sunday when she finally finished unpacking and got settled into her new “suite.” Nate had been very kind through the whole process, surprisingly so. He’d helped her lug in the numerous boxes she had then left her to unpack them in privacy. He seemed down right glad to have her on board and that made things much easier for her. She plugged her cell phone into its charger and headed
downstairs, once again, admiring the pictures of the beautiful Butler/Kinsen family. Nate was waiting for her in the living room. He looked tired and much older than his thirty-three years. He wore a red long-sleeved button-down shirt and old faded jeans with his ever-present grey Stetson perched on his head. His raven black hair came to his shoulders and was unruly underneath his cowboy hat, his beard and mustache overgrown and in desperate need of a trim, but it was his eyes that held her captive, his once glimmering sapphire eyes were now dark and cold and they cut through her like a knife.

  “Ready?” he asked. She just nodded, anxious to speak under his dark scrutiny. “It’s a good thing you bought those. You’ll be glad you did.” He motioned down to her new tan cowboy boots. Again, she only nodded, giving him a weak smile.

  Since most of her wardrobe had consisted of dressy casual clothing, she’d been forced to buy some clothes to wear for her new job on the ranch including more jeans, real boots, some t-shirts and a couple pairs of sweat pants for when she would be cleaning the house, to name a few.

  His gaze followed her as she moved in front of him and they took the back door out to the barn.

  She would never get through this if she couldn’t control her apprehension. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him… not really. It wasn’t that she feared he would hurt her, even though he was, after all, a man and could easily overpower her if he took the notion to do so. It wasn’t that his scowl wasn’t menacing; it was. It was those eyes...that hard, cold stare that he gave her that rattled her to the core. In his eyes, she saw hopelessness, emptiness, nothingness. A broken soul that needed mending. But why did that surprise her? Wasn’t that why she was here in the first place?

  The afternoon was cool on this sunny February day, and she smiled as she watched the horses grazing in the back pasture, her feet gracefully descending the stairs of the back porch. She heard Nate behind her, his gait much heavier than hers as his boots clomped on the old steps. She followed the trail down to the gate. She stepped back to open it, but as soon as she did her back hit Nate’s chest hard and she froze. Froze more because she was afraid of what his reaction would be.

  Of course, she’d known at some point that he would yell at her, that would be inevitable. She waited, anticipated the sound of his rough voice in her ear. But nothing came. Instinctively, his hands went to her hips to keep from slamming into her, he waited, his hands frozen. Then he stepped back, his hands fell. He mumbled an apology and she sighed in relief, continuing on as if nothing had happened. She opened the gate and headed for the barn, her breathing returning to normal. He moved to come beside her then and they stopped in unison as the hands drew near to meet the newest addition to the Starlight Valley ranch.

  “Guys, I want you to meet Jordan. Jordan, you may remember Cass and Billy Bob… and, of course, Eric, from the other day.” She nodded to their familiar faces and smiled, greeting them. “This is Mitch.” He waited as Mitch stepped forward and took her hand gently in his.

  Mitch was a handsome enough guy with brown hair and brown eyes. He looked to be in his late thirty’s. He was stocky and wide and not quite as tall as the other guys. He smiled at her a bit too enthusiastically, but Jordan was used to men looking at her that way.

  “It’s a pleasure, ma’am.” His drawl was deep.

  “Thank you. Good to meet you,” she replied as the next in line stepped up.

  “And this is Zack,” Nate introduced Zack who tipped his hat and extended his hand as well.

  He was the youngest of the bunch, a cute kid, probably around twenty years old. He was smaller than the rest, but strong enough, she surmised. He was blonde and blue-eyed and looked like he’d be a big flirt. She could handle that. Jordan loved to flirt.

  He smiled brightly and she smiled back and hesitated in giving his hand back, this made him blush and she laughed. The guys laughed as well, seeming to break the tension around them, all except for one.

  “Well, I’m gonna go show Jordan the ropes. I’ll be back in a minute,” Nate stated and put his hand to the small of her back, then pulled it away as they walked. Jordan thought she heard one of the guys say something to the effect of, “I bet that isn’t all he’d like to show her...” and laughter followed. Nate’s fist clenched at his sides, but he said nothing as Jordan hid her smile.

  This would be easier than she thought. Jordan worked better with men than with women and for the first time since she’d accepted the position, she felt like maybe this had been a good idea after all.

  Once they were in the office, Nate offered her the big overstuffed executive chair and he pulled up a fold out beside her. He showed her the invoicing, payroll and tax spreadsheets he used and the checkbook, as well as the filing and bills he needed done. She recommended creating a few spreadsheets on the computer and doing some reconciliation to help keep them get organized, and he seemed pleased by her ideas. After a few more instructions, Nathan excused himself and told her that if she needed anything to simply just ask.

  For the next four hours, she organized the cluttered desk and balanced down the checkbook, having to make some phone calls to the bank to get a few checks straightened out. She was surprised to see just how well Nate was doing with the ranch. He was well under budget and his profits were high. His disorganization hadn’t been as bad as he’d originally thought. She organized the bills and set reminders on the office and computer calendars for when they were due. She was just finishing the filing when Nate came through the office door. He startled her and she jumped when she saw him. He was sweaty and dirty and looked every bit a Texas cowboy. She smiled to herself. He just scowled.

  “I wanted to tell you...” he began, only to stop as he saw how spotless the desk was. “Damn, that was fast.” He couldn’t hide his surprise at her competency and this made her giddy inside. She wanted badly to make him happy with her work. “Um, I was just gonna say that...” He paused again as she put the checkbook in the safe and locked it back. “You finished the checkbook too?” he asked. She only nodded. “Wow, hiring you was the best decision I’ve made in quite some time.”

  Again, she was rejoicing inside, but she just smiled up at him in her best innocent face. “Would you like for me to start supper now? It’s going on five.”

  He seemed impressed by her orderliness and it took him a minute to respond.

  “Yes, if you don’t mind. I have some food bought for the week, but you may want to change things up or need additional items. I have the grocery budget written down in the kitchen along with some places I order from. I get my beef from Luth and order the eggs and produce from Dale.”

  She nodded, indicating that she was familiar with them. “Well, are you in the mood for anything in particular tonight?”

  She didn’t realize her double entendre until she’d already spoken it. However, she didn’t flinch as she looked up at him in a sultry stare, waiting for his reaction. To her satisfaction, his face paled. She watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat as he gulped. His blue eyes flashed a subtle change, something unreadable, but the hollowness quickly returned as he cleared his throat. She mentally leapt with joy. So, there was a way to rattle Nathan Butler. She reveled in that fact; this was one power she wouldn’t have over him otherwise… well, after all she was Jordan Tate.

  Go figure! He was a good-looking warm-blooded male. Of course he had wants and needs despite the fact that he was the most hated man in town. He wanted everyone to believe that he felt nothing, that nothing stirred him, nothing affected him. She’d just witnessed that he could feel something. He was human after all.

  “I think I had spaghetti down for tonight, but again, feel free to change it. I don’t mind,” was all he said as he headed out the door.

  She giggled to herself when he was out of earshot. This was going to be as easy as taking candy from a baby!

  Dammit! Nathan Butler thought as he lay in bed that night. She was perfect. Everything about her. She was perfect for the job he’d hired her for. The che
ckbook was finished. The papers filed. The spreadsheets done. Every i was dotted and every t crossed. And her cooking was exceptional. He had thoroughly enjoyed it, although she was none the wiser. She was polite, kind, and seemed down right oblivious to the fact that he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  She was used to men reacting to her this way. She’d probably been doing it all on purpose; flitting those full eyelashes as she laughed in that sultry laugh of hers, puckering her sexy lips when she concentrated on something one of the guys was saying, swaying her hips when she walked… And she flirted too…with all of them.

  Why did she have to be so damn gorgeous? Everything about her screamed sexpot, from her curly auburn hair to the tips of her polished toenails and everything in between. No wonder she had a reputation for being inordinately “passionate”, she was. Her manner, her personality, even her food was passionate. That was the best term to describe her. And men couldn’t resist her, and she seemed so at ease with them.

  He should have known better than to hire her when he felt what he had that day he’d “interviewed” her. He should have known that it wouldn’t get any easier. But he’d gone and hired her on the spot… But there had been no one else. What choice did he have?

  He’d have to deal with this… Somehow. Some way. He’d ignore it. That was easy enough. There were no other human emotions left in him anyway. He could block this one out just as easily. He would pretend that he felt nothing, until it finally went away. It would have to work.

  Ok, so it wasn’t working… That next morning, he’d awoken to the smell of bacon. It was such a powerful smell to a meat-eater such as himself. He smiled for a moment and let the distinct smell of bold coffee pull him from his slumber. He’d dressed quickly and headed out of his room to satisfy his hunger. The minute he stepped into the kitchen he did a double take.