Return to Abundance

by Shanna Swenson

  “Now, Ms. Tate, let’s talk business. I was wondering if you might accompany me to lunch today. I’m meeting with some gentlemen from Abilene and I would just love to have your company.” He came ever closer to her and boldly placed an arm around her waist, settling a slimy hand on her hip. He smiled. “I would be more than willing to compensate you for your time.” His eyebrows went up along with her own. That son of a bitch! He was outright propositioning her! Those dark grey eyes of his were cold and unfeeling and made her alarm bells ring off the charts. “I can’t seem to help myself. I have a thing for redheads, what can I say?” He smiled slyly and his finger sweep a strand of hair off her cheek. His face lowered and he laughed a sinister laugh. “I always wondered if that old sayin’ were true… You know, red on the head…”

  She didn’t allow him to finish, suddenly all the pent-up anger and aggression and pain she’d felt for the last several weeks literally rocketed out of her as her knee met his crotch and her hand made a fist and shoved into his nose. She screamed in rage as she attacked him with all the might of her 140-pound body, lunging at him and battering him with her clinched fists. He moved to cover himself and plead, but she was showing no mercy as her Krav Maga training took over her.

  But just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over, and she was being pulled away by rough hands on her waist as she screamed obscenities at the violator. She looked up to see a stunned Nate and Zack standing in the door frame and a bleeding Mason Sullivan, holding his nose.

  “Jesus, Jordan, what the hell?” Nate asked, looking over at her. Her whole body shook with adrenaline as she tried to calm down.

  “Perhaps you should tell your fuckin’ client to keep his goddamned hands to himself next time.” She looked over to Mason.

  “Now, there’s been some type of misunderstanding here,” Mason began, standing and pinching his bleeding nose. That’s when Nate cut him off.

  “No, Mr. Sullivan. I think you’re the one who misunderstood. Please take your leave. I’ll be contacting you about transferring your horses.”

  Jordan could have cried tears of love for him in that moment. He was taking up for her, not blaming her for what happened as he’d done in the past. He was losing one of his biggest clients, but he didn’t care because he loved her… She did deserve him, she did love him and she’d not really understood just how much until then.

  But he looked like a man apart as he angrily watched Mason walk out of the office and motioned for Zack and Eric, who’d been holding her, to follow. He closed the door and stood there, sighing, his head bent. Finally, he turned, his eyes livid as he looked at her.

  “Do you realize what you’ve just done?” His voice was eerily calm.

  “Nate, he was—”

  “Jordan, he’s our biggest contributor right now.” Nate pulled his hat off and ran his hand through his wild hair. “Our reputation is at stake here. We stand to lose it all. Don’t you get that!” He didn’t care what Mason had done; he was mad at her.

  “Nathan, he’s a piece of shit! He…”

  “I don’t care!” Her eyebrows went up in surprise at his words as his blazing sapphire eyes pierced hers. “You’ve been with so many men, what would one more have mattered?”

  Jordan couldn’t hide her surprise as she gasped at his words. How could he say that knowing all that he knew about her? She just stared up at him incredulously. She couldn’t control the tears that streamed down her cheeks. What he implied hurt deeply and made her feel ashamed…then suddenly, she was furious. She scoffed even as her heart burned with disappointment.

  “You know… you’re right, Nate!” She approached him and angled her face up to meet his. Fury met fury. “Go ahead! Bring him back in here and I’ll fuck his brains out… right there on your desk while you watch!” She pointed to the desk and watched him scowl. “Is that honestly all you think of me?” Then she laughed humorlessly. “God forbid though… Don’t lose your ranch on account of my ‘goddamned tattered virtue’!” She spat his words right back in his face then she jeered at him. “You can go straight to Hell! Consider this my notice.” She flipped him the bird and stared him down as she walked past him.

  Jordan held her tears in until she got to the car, then she bawled the entire way to her parents’ house. She’d been able to pack up a few boxes of her things, but mostly she just wanted the hell out of there, so she’d left a good portion behind. Oh well, she’d come back on a day when Nate was gone and have Nat come with her to get the rest of her things.

  It had been about a week since she and her mother had spoken on the phone. Her mom could tell something was wrong, but Jordan hadn’t divulged what it was, partly because she didn’t want to admit that she was in love. She didn’t want to hear the triumph in her mom’s voice or the, “I told you so,” that she knew would follow. Of course her folks only wanted what was best for her, but here she’d gone and finally fallen for a man and now her heart was bursting into a million pieces at the very seams.

  A divine justice, she supposed, for all the hearts that she, in turn, had broken herself…

  She knocked loudly on the red door of the ranch style house that sat about 20 minutes away from Starlight Valley in the city limits of Abundance and waited for an answer. It only took a couple minutes for Marnie Tate to open the door. Once she saw her daughter, she smiled then frowned as she took in Jordan’s red face and tears.

  “Honey, what’s the matter?”

  With that, Jordan fell into her mother’s arms and sobbed. She could hear her dad’s voice as she was pulled into the house and ushered to the couch where she was sat and coddled over until she could finally stop to breathe and calm down. She blew her nose into the tissues her mom handed to her and looked up into her dad’s handsome face.

  Although Jordan mostly took after her mother, the color of her whiskey eyes came from her father, William Henry “Hank” Tate.

  “You’ve gone and fallen for David Butler’s boy, huh?” his deep voice inquired. Jordan huffed. Was she really so readable? “What?” Her father shrugged. “Jordan, you’re not much for tears, so either you’re in love or somebody died.”

  “I knew that this would happen… I told your father that two single people living under the same roof was a recipe for that.” Her mom’s tiny voice was a direct contrast to her father’s. At anything other time that would have made her laugh.

  “God, you two really need to get out more.” Jordan sighed and looked them over… They were waiting for the clincher. “Yes! I fell in love with Nathan fucking Butler, and he has broken my heart! There! You happy?”

  Her mom gave her a look of pity then and Jordan groaned. She was pulled into her mother’s loving arm and her hair was stroked as if she were a child.

  “No, honey, we’re not happy if you’re not happy.” Her dad said and moved over to the couch then, taking her in his arms where Jordan cried some more. Finally, she wiped her face and dried her tears and got to the point.

  “I’m gonna stay with you guys for a little while until after I recover from surgery, if that’s alright?” Of course they both nodded, pleased, as she knew they would be. If it had been up to them, she would still be here living with them. “Ok, good, and unfortunately, I’m probably gonna need some financial help…”

  “Now Jordan, don’t you even worry about that! We’re your parents and we love you. Anything you need, we’re here for you!” Her dad spoke. She smiled up at him and hugged his neck.

  “You guys really are the best, in case I haven’t told you that lately,” she said then hugged her mom. They just smiled at each other, knowingly and her heart sank.

  She’d always known love from these two amazing people who had in turn loved one another. Why had she always sought to avoid it so eagerly? She had no excuse. Perhaps it was that she feared she would never find a love as good as theirs, but for the life of her she didn’t know why she’d ever felt that way.

  “Hello?” Nathan answered the office phone much later that day in a parti
cularly foul mood.

  “Nate!”

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah, I just got a call from my old friend, Mason Sullivan…”

  Oh great! Here we go, Nate thought and listened to his father’s growling voice in his ear, yelling in frustration about losing the biggest contract that he’d ever had. His father’s voice got louder and louder until he had to calm himself and relax.

  Finally, Nate piped in. “Mason Sullivan needs to call and apologize to me, Dad, not the other way around!”

  “Like hell! She broke his nose.”

  “And for good reason… he was groping her. I will not tolerate anyone sexually harassing Jordan, not while I stand.” The other line was dead silent. “If I have to lose his business then so be it. I’ll be damned if I allow that shit to happen in my presence, in my office and to the woman I love!” Whoops, Freudian slip.

  “Dammit son, I’m sorry. He made it out to be all her fault.”

  His father spent the next few minutes apologizing and telling him that he would make Mason pay for what he’d done to Jordan, all the while, Nate’s heart stung with rotten irony.

  He’d finally done it! He’d gone and said the unthinkable, the irreversible statement that had ultimately pushed her away… and he’d lost her.

  Saying he wouldn’t tolerate Jordan being sexually harassed didn’t hold any weight if he was going to turn around and do it himself. The comment he’d made to her had been unforgivable. What she’d said back had been even worse- turning his own words around on him- some mean ass remark he’d said to her in the very beginning to try and push her away. Well, he’d succeeded alright, he’d pushed her away. Her things were gone. Her car was gone. And there was no note this time…

  He kept telling himself that maybe it was for the best. Apparently, Nate couldn’t even love someone correctly. His pride had been hurt after the last time they’d made love and instead of having a normal fight like any other couple, he’d just let her walk away and let himself get worked up to the point of complete outrage; so much outrage that he’d said horrible things to the woman he cared for. A man didn’t speak to those he loved that way.

  It was better if she stayed away from him. Maybe he’d forgiven himself for killing Troy, but that didn’t mean he could go back to being truly normal ever again. It was a deep stain on his soul that would stay there forever. It couldn’t simply be washed off, just as he could never be completely whole again. Jordan deserved better…

  But Nathan’s heart stated otherwise. He loved her and he couldn’t rest until he’d made things right again. He finished working that day and once he was done, he practically flew over to his sister’s house. Jordan hadn’t always opened up to him- but she did to Natalie- and at this moment, Nathan needed answers.

  He knocked on the door loudly and there Natalie was, scolding a barking Dash, cradling his niece as she opened the door.

  “Well, hi, big brother. Jack and I were just—”

  “I screwed up, Nat… I screwed up real bad this time,” Nate blurted out.

  His sister frowned and stepped back as he came in. He waved easily to Jack and Dallie, who sat on the floor with a giant puzzle, as Dash followed him.

  “Can we talk?” he whispered and took Natalie’s arm, leading her to the kitchen.

  Once there, he began to pace.

  “Nathan, what happened?”

  “I finally did it, Nat!” His hands went up in surrender. “I finally succeeded in pushing her away!”

  Natalie sighed at that. “Nate, I thought we were done with all that…”

  “Me too.” Nate dropped his head and sighed himself. “And we were, but then… dammit, she just…she gets so deep under your skin that…”

  “Nate, what did you do?”

  He looked up then into her concerned eyes. He didn’t want to tell her, didn’t want to say it out loud, didn’t want to give voice to the atrocity that he’d committed. He looked down then finally back up again.

  “I insulted the hell out of her. It just came out before I could even…” He lowered himself to the bar stool across from Natalie and covered his face with his hands. “Do you remember Dad’s colleague, Mason Sullivan?” he finally asked, peeling his hands away. Nat looked at him thoughtfully and simply nodded. “Ok well, he met Jordan the night of our date while we were at the restaurant and gave her the serious creeps. Despite that, I still entered into a contract with him not too long after. So, he showed up in my office today and apparently, he did something bad enough to make her literally kick his ass.”

  Nat smiled then. “Good for her!” Vanna whimpered, and Nat began bouncing her gently. “So, what did you do?”

  “I told his ass to leave!”

  “As you should…”

  “But then I,” he began and looked down again, exhaling loudly. “I made her feel like she should have just slept with him, so that I could keep the account.”

  Natalie huffed. “Nathan? You didn’t!”

  “I did!” He frowned as he looked at his sister. “Now, what the hell can I do to fix it?” He could see that she was at a loss. It took her a few minutes to respond.

  “Nate, that’s a tough one. I mean, you made her feel cheap and…”

  “I know, I know. I can’t undo what I said. I was just so damn mad because she didn’t…” He sighed heavily. “I’ve told her I love her, several times in fact, and I want to believe that she feels something for me.” He stood and approached his little sister. He took her hand in his and interlaced their fingers. “I’ve screwed up so much in my life. I came very close to losing you! I don’t want to lose her too. Tell me that there’s something that I can do to make this right!”

  “You’re gonna have to do what I did with Nat!” A deep voice came from the archway making them both jump.

  “Jack?” Natalie scolded.

  “Sorry! It’s not like you guys were talking softly. I sent the little one upstairs.” He ambled over and stood behind his wife, taking her shoulders softly in his hands.

  “What did you do, Jack?” Nate asked.

  “You just have to be there. Words are only words, but actions speak much louder.”

  “Wait, haven’t I heard that somewhere before?” Nat looked suspiciously up at Jack then, a smile on her face.

  “It’s true.” Jack looked down so loving at Nate’s baby sister that it made his heart melt. He would give anything to have Jordan look at him like that. Jack then glanced up at Nate. A seriousness came over him. “Nat had a hard time trusting me, in particular… So, your father told me to just show her that she needed me and to be there for her, so that’s what I did… but I had to wait for her to see it. Love can’t be rushed.”

  “My father’s a wise man,” Nate retorted. They all nodded in agreement.

  “Well, I’m the one who added that last part, just so you know.” Jack informed them with a wink and Natalie rolled her eyes at him, grinning.

  “What? I did.” He laughed and kissed Natalie’s cheek. She smiled over at her brother, amused at her husband’s antics. Nathan couldn’t help but smile at them despite his breaking heart.

  Jack was right, the only way into Jordan’s heart was for him to be there and show her he hadn’t really meant what he’d said. That was the only thing he could do at this point. An idea formed in his head then.

  “Nat, when is Jordan’s surgery?”

  This was how he could right his wrongs. It was going to work!

  Jordan woke with no pain but feeling high as a kite. Her eyes drifted open and shut several times before they finally came as fully open as they could with all the drugs in her system. They fell on her mom and dad and Natalie, who Jordan smiled at, surprised at seeing her there.

  “How’d it go?” Jordan asked, groggily, taking her mother’s offered hand.

  “Successfully. He was able to get everything out. It was a mess, lots of adhesions, so it took a little longer than he thought, but no serious complications. He’s hopeful that this will make your life
much better,” her mom said and kissed her cheek.

  “Oh good.” Jordan smiled over to Natalie who came up beside her mother and took her hand. “You came?”

  “Of course I did! What are friends for?” Nat squeezed her hand and looked over to Jordan’s right.

  Jordan’s gaze followed hers and she saw Nathan standing there, looking unsure of himself. She wasn’t expecting to see him- not now, not ever again. She frowned, ashamed at herself for their last conversation.

  “Nate?” she asked meekly. He practically ran to her then and took her hand, stroking it softly. He looked like pure Hell. His eyes were blood shot and had dark bags beneath them. “What are you doing here?”

  “I had to see you and apologize for the things I said to you. I’m so sorry that I made you feel the way I did after what that bastard…”

  “Shh, no. I’m sorry. I made you feel used and I wasn’t completely honest with you. I know you didn’t mean what you said! You love me.”

  “Yes,” he said with a laugh. His beautiful sapphire eyes were watery as he stared deeply into hers. “Yes I do.” He brought his lips to her bandaged hand and kissed it. “Very much so. And I want to be with you, if you’ll have me?” Jordan smiled, it must be the drugs, but she could feel tears stinging her eyes and she nodded in response. “I want you to come home with me.” Again, she nodded. “I’m gonna take care of you while you recover.”

  Jordan frowned suddenly. “But Nate you can’t- the ranch?”

  “Don’t you worry about the ranch. I got a lot of good hands, as you well know, who can do just fine without me for a little while. Besides, I’ll be around.”

  Jordan looked over to her mother who smiled back at her then she looked down.

  “You still want me? Even like this?” She motioned down to her swollen abdomen and the large incision that she knew would be there below the blankets and gown she donned.