Dare to Desire

by Carly Phillips

She closed her eyes and blew out a long stream of breath.

  His hand slid behind her neck once more, his touch warm and surprisingly gentle.

  Her lashes fluttered open as he brushed his lips over hers. “We’re not over.”

  She was very afraid he was right.

  * * *

  Madison didn’t sleep well. How could she when Alex’s parting words kept repeating in her brain? Not to mention how she tossed and turned all night. When she was awake, Alex’s kiss played in a never-ending loop in her mind. And when she slept? Fevered dreams of her body’s response had her writhing under the sheets, needing the completion he’d denied her. She awoke in a sweat, her nipples peaked and hardened, her panties soaked with desire, and despite the battery-induced orgasm she’d given herself before bed, she was still sexually unfulfilled and needy. Which had been exactly his point.

  He wanted her to want him. Or at least to admit to wanting him. Which she did, damn the man.

  She knew that if she gave in, he’d be an attentive lover. He knew his way around a woman’s body, and pleasure was his ultimate goal. Hers before his. She shivered at the reminder of his big, talented hands working her body. Could she keep resisting him if he kept up his sensual assault and deliberate deprivation?

  Did she even want to?

  She shook her head, knowing she needed more time to think than she currently had, and continued to dress for her coffee date with Riley.

  Madison arrived at Starbucks at eleven. She hadn’t seen her friend in too long and was glad Riley had suggested they meet up this weekend. Riley’s appearances at work had become sporadic, and Madison worried about her friend. She arrived to find Riley waiting for her in the back, two cups on the table.

  Madison headed directly for her friend. “Hey, stranger! How are you?”

  Riley rose and gave Madison a hug. “I’m good. You?”

  “I’m fine.” Incredibly horny, but fine. Her situation with Alex wasn’t something she was sure she wanted to bring up over breakfast.

  They settled into chairs, and Madison took a long sip of her skinny vanilla latte. “Thanks for ordering. This is delicious.”

  She glanced over to see Riley had a tea bag hanging out of her grande-sized cup. “Where’s the Chai Latte you normally love?”

  Riley waved her hand in front of her face. “Don’t say those words. God.” She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.

  Madison narrowed her gaze. “What is going on? Are you okay?”

  Riley blew out a long stream of air. “I’m pregnant.” Despite her paleness, her eyes gleamed with excitement.

  Madison gasped in delight. “What? That’s so amazing!” She popped up from her chair and came around to give her very nauseous friend a big hug.

  Riley hugged her back.

  “No wonder you’ve been out of the office more than you’re in.” They resettled in their chairs. “Good thing the boss loves you so much,” she said with a chuckle before sobering at the all-too-pale coloring of Riley’s skin. “Is the nausea that bad?”

  Riley grimaced. “I wake up, and I think I’m going to die or never stop vomiting. Some days I can see how Kate Middleton ended up in the hospital.” She placed a hand over her stomach. “The good news is that the doctor says I’m almost at the end of it. If I’m lucky.”

  “How far along are you?” Madison asked.

  “Twelve weeks. Hopefully by fourteen, I’ll start to feel human again. I really want to enjoy the experience, but man, nobody warns you about this.”

  Madison took in Riley’s washed-out face. Now that she looked, it was obvious her usually curvy friend had lost weight, and Riley had a knock-out figure.

  “I’m sorry. I hope you feel better sooner rather than later, but I’m sure you’ll bounce back.”

  Riley managed a smile. “Me too.”

  “So how does Ian feel about all this?”

  Riley grinned. “Mr. Controlling is even more controlling. He doesn’t get that there’s nothing he can do to make this better for me. But he’s excited about the baby at the end.” She caressed her belly. “And so am I.”

  Madison’s heart swelled for her friend. “I’m really happy for you guys.”

  “Thanks. So enough about me. What about you? How’s the job?”

  Since they’d already had the discussion about Riley blindsiding Madison with Alex at work, she let it go now. There was nothing to be gained by rehashing it.

  “Well, I love the challenge of creating something new. And I have my first meeting with some of the players next week, so I’m going to be getting back into the people part of the job that I miss. So all’s well!” Even Madison heard the forced tone of her voice, but what was she supposed to say? She was conflicted and still wanted the man Riley had put her to work with?

  “How is it working with Alex?” Riley, ever perceptive, asked.

  “I suppose it’s too much to ask you to not bring up his name?”

  Riley grinned. “No such luck.”

  “You suck,” Madison muttered.

  “That’s what best friends are for, to ask the tough questions. So … is he getting to you?”

  Madison closed her eyes and groaned. Of course he was getting to her. It hadn’t helped that she’d seen yet another side to him the other night, a softer, giving side. And he’d apologized.

  “Yoo-hoo!” Riley waved a hand in front of Madison’s face.

  She blinked and refocused on her surroundings.

  “Okay, I have my answer. That blush on your face and that unfocused look in your eyes tell me everything I need to know.” Riley clapped her hands together and squealed with glee. “So things are good?”

  Madison swallowed hard. “I wouldn’t call things good. He seems different, but I can’t imagine trusting him that way again.” She caught the look on Riley’s face and rushed on, wanting to have her say first. “Look, I didn’t get into a relationship with him the first time expecting anything more than an affair. I knew his history, but there were moments when we seemed to be … more. And even if he wasn’t ready, how he broke things off?” She shook her head. “That I never expected, and God, it hurt.”

  She placed her hand over her stomach and the remembered pain. There was something inherently gut-wrenching about feeling abandoned. It did something to Madison she didn’t know how to get over.

  How could she? Any time she felt it, she went back in time. Her father had taken her to the mall for school clothes, a rare occurrence in and of itself because he could rarely afford new things. And then he’d left her there, never to be heard from again.

  Her throat swelled at the memory, and she cursed Alex for bringing that horrific moment in her life back in Technicolor again. That’s how she’d felt when he’d dismissed her like she was garbage after she’d come to see him at the hospital. If he’d called her soon after, she’d have chalked it up to his own pain and disappointment over the events in his life and forgiven him. But he hadn’t.

  “Hey.” Riley put her hand over Madison’s. “I’m not going to minimize what Alex did. I’m not going to tell you he wasn’t an asshole, because he was. I’m also not going to ask you to give him another chance, because only you can decide if he’s worth it. What I will say is that I notice a difference in him too.”

  “Really?” Madison hated the hope in her voice.

  She hated that her feelings for Alex were still strong enough to put it there. “I thought I noticed small things in our short relationship that indicated he was different with me, but I realized afterward I’d been delusional. The stereotypical female who wanted to be the one to change a guy who couldn’t be changed,” she said in disgust.

  “Unless the career-ending injury accomplished what you couldn’t back then,” Riley said carefully. “What if those things you noticed about the two of you were real and now he understands what he had—and lost?”

  Riley waited, both patient and silent, as Madison digested her words. “You’re saying maybe he has changed. And maybe it’
s permanent.”

  “I’m saying you won’t know unless you open yourself up to possibly being hurt again.” She shrugged.

  “Why would I do that?” Madison asked.

  “Because when you trust and it works out, the payoff is more than worth the potential pain.” Riley smiled and patted her still-flat but pregnant belly.

  Madison shook her head, unable to fathom being hurt that way again. Sex? Yes, she was tempted to give in and sleep with Alex again, but trust him—or anyone—with her heart? Not happening.

  But ready or not, she had to deal with the fact that she and Alex had unfinished business.

  * * *

  Madison tried to visit her foster mother at least once a week, and she stopped by not long after receiving the legal papers from Eric. Luckily, she and Eric kept very different schedules, and she rarely ran into him. This week’s visit hadn’t been an easy one. The live-in health care aide agreed it was time to move Franny into a nursing home. Someplace where she could be monitored constantly.

  When lucid, Franny agreed and had already chosen the particular nursing home. They’d been waiting for an opening, and there was one now. Although Franny still had days where sometimes she would know where she was, more times than not, she lived in the past. Madison would begin a conversation only to have Franny pick up the thread, except she’d be talking to someone else. Someone from her childhood or early days of her marriage.

  The illness was stealing the older woman piece by piece, and putting her in a home felt like the final stage of loss. On top of Madison’s foster dad’s death, Franny’s memory lapse was yet another blow. But moving her was the right thing to do. Of course, Eric was fighting that too, not wanting his mother to be locked up, in his words.

  In this, Madison wanted to believe that Eric was looking at his mother as a son afraid to make the wrong choice. He feared she’d wake up and, in a rare lucid moment, be lost in her strange surroundings. Madison was more afraid she’d burn the house down one night while the aide was asleep or wander off when no one was looking.

  A week after Madison had been served with legal papers, she met with the lawyer Alex had recommended. He’d made time for her right away, and she appreciated Alex using his connections to get her in.

  Not long after she checked in with the receptionist, a tall, dark-haired man strode out into the lobby to greet her.

  “Ms. Evans?”

  She rose to greet the attorney. Jonathan Ridgeway, Esquire, was a good-looking man with warm eyes and a genuine smile. Madison immediately felt comfortable with him. She knew this whole ordeal wouldn’t be simple or easy, and she was glad this lawyer didn’t put her on edge.

  “Hi,” she said, extending her hand, which he briefly took.

  “It’s good to meet you, Ms. Evans. But I prefer to dispense with formalities. Is it okay if I call you Madison?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Of course.”

  “Then please call me Jon. Did you bring the papers?” he asked.

  She dug the documents out of her purse and handed them to him. “I also brought the power of attorney and health care proxy. There are other copies filed with my foster mother’s lawyer.”

  Jon accepted those as well and gestured for her to sit.

  She eased herself into a chair across from his desk. She was nervous as she waited for him to read through her papers and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, taking in his diplomas and wildlife photographs around the room.

  Someone knocked on the door, and the sound of it opening had Madison turning in her seat.

  “Did I miss anything?” Alex asked, walking inside as if he were expected before shutting the door behind him.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, stunned to see him.

  “Good morning, Angel.”

  She shivered at the nickname, the sound rolling off the same lips she’d been recently kissed by. Ignoring the sexual tension at work was nearly impossible, and she felt it again now—the subtle tremors in her stomach and the overwhelming feeling of need she experienced whenever Alex was near.

  He glanced at his friend. “Jon. Thanks for making time for us.”

  “Alex? Why are you here?” she asked again.

  The attorney rose to his feet. “Should I give you two some time alone?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “No,” Alex countered before searing her with a determined look. “I said we’d handle this, remember? We. I’m here. I would have made it sooner, but I got caught in traffic.” He strode around her and settled into the chair beside her.

  “Is there a problem?” Jon asked her.

  Madison swallowed hard. “No, no problem.” She didn’t wish to make a scene, so she’d let him stay.

  But if Alex thought just because he was paying for the lawyer that he had a right to be part of her personal business, she planned to set him straight later.

  Jon refocused on the documents she’d given him, and Madison turned her attention to Alex. He still wore his hair on the long side, but on him, it worked. He sported a button-down shirt and jacket, filling out the material like it had been cut for his broad frame. Just last night, she’d dreamed of the tattoos beneath, covering his tanned skin.

  Madison’s mouth grew dry. He’d shaved, and his smooth cheeks made her want to press her lips against his warm skin and breathe him in. She could already smell his cologne, and the scent did things to her that should be illegal during the day while she was fully dressed.

  He met her gaze, caught her staring, and his lips turned up in a sexy grin.

  Before she could react, Jon spoke, breaking the silence. “I take it you want to fight to hold on to the rights assigned to you?”

  She forced her gaze to the lawyer and nodded. “It’s more complicated than it looks. My foster mother’s house is located on property that is surrounded by land owned by the town. It’s been in the family for generations and has been zoned in as a private residence, but with Franny—that’s my foster mother—suffering from Alzheimer’s, she specifically told me when she’s no longer able to make decisions, she wants to go into a home. And she wants to sell the house and have the land dedicated to the town so they can turn it into a rec center for needy kids.

  “Why didn’t she handle this when she was capable?” Jon asked.

  A logical question. “Because she was always busy with charity and other things, and she never got around to doing it while she was lucid. No attorney would say she’s in her right mind now and change her will. Apparently, Eric, my foster brother, has a deal in the works to sell the land the house is on to a corporation wants to turn it into an exclusive resort on the edge of town.”

  Jon took notes as she spoke. Beside her, Alex listened intently.

  “Go on,” Jon said.

  “Eric claims he wants to enhance the beauty of the land, but that’s not it. He had a drug problem as a teenager, and he’s always run with a fast crowd. Wealthy people, parties with cocaine hidden but available.” She shook her head in disgust. “Anyway, Eric needs the cash influx the resort would provide. He has an inheritance from his grandparents, but he tends to blow through money and likes get-rich-quick schemes with his wealthy friends. There’s no financial interest involved for me. It’s about fulfilling Franny’s wishes. That’s all.” She twisted her hands in her lap until Alex reached over, stilling her with his calming touch.

  Unfortunately, his touch also worked to arouse her, and she squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

  Jon cleared his throat. “Okay. According to this, he’s accusing you of exerting undue influence on his mother. How so?”

  Anger grew once more at the unfair accusation. “I have no idea how his mind works. All I know is I spend more time with her than he does. I’m sure he’s going to claim I pressed her into making me her power of attorney. It’s just not true,” she said, getting worked up at the thought.

  Alex squeezed her hand harder in reassurance that he was there. Solid and beside her.

  She forced o
ut a calming breath. “Eric has always resented the very air I breathed, from the minute I came into that house.”

  Jon glanced at the papers. “When was she diagnosed?”

  “About a year ago. Her husband was her power of attorney and health care proxy before me.”

  “She changed it after he died?”

  Madison nodded.

  “After she’d already been diagnosed,” Jon said grimly.

  “Yes.”

  Jon blew out a breath. “When did your foster brother find out?”

  “When Franny started talking about going into a care facility.”

  The other man made notes then asked, “Were you their only foster child?”

  She shook her head. “There were others in the past, but I was the only one who stayed on. Others were transferred out quickly.”

  “Hmm. I’d like to get my P.I. to do some digging. Maybe we can get something on him that’ll scare him enough to make this go away easily. Let me see what I can turn up. Okay with you?”

  More money she’d owe Alex if she agreed. “Umm…”

  “Whatever you have to do,” Alex said.

  Jon looked to her for confirmation, and she nodded, both resigned and grateful at the same time.

  He rose from his seat, and both she and Alex did the same. “I’ll take things from here,” Jon said. “I need you to send me a list of people who saw your interaction with your foster parents when you lived there, possible witnesses for us and for them.”

  “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

  Jon smiled at her. “Do your best not to worry, okay?”

  She nodded. “Thank you. Franny was really good to me. I just want to do right by her.”

  A few minutes later, they were out in the hall by the elevators. Madison decided not to call Alex on showing up today. How could she be angry when he was behaving so thoughtfully? She appreciated having someone by her side even if she had to constantly remind herself not to get used to it.

  “Ready to go back to work?” she asked as the elevator door opened and they stepped inside.

  The large doors slid shut.

  “Actually, I think we should call in sick.”

  “What?”