Dare to Desire

by Carly Phillips

  Alex tossed his keys onto the shelf near the door and met up with Madison in the living room. “Have fun today?” he asked.

  She smiled. “I had a great time. Your family’s amazing. You’re all so close.”

  “I know. We’re lucky.” He clasped her hand. “And you really made an impact. Mom wants you back soon. Jace would steal you if he could.”

  She laughed at his obvious exaggeration.

  “Umm, can we talk?”

  “Sure.” She gestured toward the sofa, and he joined her, sitting down next to her. “What’s up?”

  “You know I had a long talk with Jace today, right?”

  She nodded. “You two looked like it was an intense conversation. I’m assuming it was about the job offer. Honestly, I’m good with whatever you decide,” she said.

  “Really?” He hadn’t expected it to be so easy, and he wasn’t convinced she meant it.

  She met his gaze and nodded. “Do it. Take the job. It’s perfect for you. You can get back the status and fame you love.” She didn’t waver, but he could see how hard she fought back showing emotion.

  He grasped her hands. “I want to test. That’s all. Just to see how I like it. For all I know, it’s not for me. Or maybe they’ll hate my performance.”

  She laughed at that. “Not likely.”

  “You never know,” he said with a shrug. “You’re really okay with it?”

  She managed a smile he sensed was forced. “I do. I get why you need to do this.”

  “You look like you’re trying your best to be enthusiastic, but I know you. What’s going on?”

  She leaned back against the couch and sighed. “I think we’re building something important for players. It’ll be a loss there if you leave, but you can’t stay with one thing when you’d rather be doing something else.”

  He narrowed his gaze. He believed their job was part of what was going on in that head of hers, but it wasn’t everything. He also sensed she wouldn’t be admitting anything to him now.

  “Look, I still don’t know the details about this gig. It could be football season only. It could be weekends only. Maybe I could do what Strahan does and commute and keep this job too.” There were a ton of variables, none of which he knew. Although he’d put a call in to his agent to get them, right now everything hinged on the test.

  He hoped that didn’t include his relationship with Madison as well.

  * * *

  The ringing of her cell phone jarred Madison out of a deep sleep. She rolled over, knocking the phone off the nightstand before finally picking it up to answer. “Hello?”

  “Ms. Evans?”

  “Speaking.”

  “This is Darla from the Hudson Arms nursing home.”

  Completely awake now, Madison sat upright in bed. “Is something wrong?”

  Alex stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. “Who’s on the phone?”

  She held up a hand.

  “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

  The woman at the nursing home spoke. “Her son, Eric, came by at an ungodly hour. Since Franny was awake, we let him come in. He upset her terribly. We weren’t able to calm her down and had to call the doctor in to give her a light sedative.”

  Madison swallowed hard. “I’ll be right over.”

  “Well, she’s sleeping now. We just felt we should notify you.”

  “You did the right thing. Where is Eric now?”

  “He left but promised he’d be back.”

  “I’ll talk to my lawyer and see what I can do. Thanks for calling. And I will be by later.” She disconnected the call and met Alex’s gaze.

  “Problem?” He ran a towel over his damp hair.

  “I need to call Jon. I think I need a restraining order to keep Eric away from his mother. Can I get that on her behalf?”

  “If the doctors are willing to testify he’s a danger to her health, I’m sure you can. Maybe you can get the hearing moved up. Do you want to head over to the nursing home now?”

  She nodded, still in shock over the phone call. “I suppose I should check on her. I can’t call Jon till nine a.m. anyway.”

  “Well, we could, but you’re right. Let’s wait till he gets to the office. Go jump in the shower. I’ll pour you some coffee, and we can get moving.”

  “You don’t need to come with me.”

  “I want to. You met my family. I’d like to meet yours.”

  “Franny is not my family.” She bit her cheek. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”

  He narrowed his gaze, but she went on before he could react to that telling statement.

  “But the truth is, she probably won’t even know me, so what’s the point of trying to introduce you?”

  “What’s the point of denying you care about her? Or that she’s the only family you have left and it hurts you to lose her?” He sat down beside her, his body warm from the shower, his scent clean and strong.

  She met his gaze. “You don’t get it,” she said, frustrated. She attempted to rise to her feet, but he grasped her hand.

  “You’re wrong. I do.” He pulled her back down beside him. “You’ve had way too much loss and pain in your life. And I contributed to that,” he said, his voice rough with regret. “But if you don’t start to ease up and trust in the people around you now, you’re going to end up—”

  “Say it,” she said, folding her arms across her chest to ward off the sudden chill.

  He shook his head and rose, walking back into the bathroom and closing the door. He didn’t have to use the words for her to know what he meant.

  She was going to end up alone.

  * * *

  The nursing home was clean and the staff pleasant and accommodating, Alex thought, but he was still depressed just walking into the place. He glanced at Madison, who held herself tightly as they walked toward her foster mother’s room. She hadn’t said much to him since his outburst earlier, and as much as he wanted to regret what he’d almost said, he couldn’t. Not when she was driving him away as often as she pulled him close.

  Maybe once this situation with her foster brother was resolved in court, she’d settle and trust Alex more, but for now, he was still busting his ass without knowing how much she really believed in them.

  “Ms. Evans?” A nurse approached them before they reached the room.

  “Hi, Katie. And I told you to please call me Madison.”

  The younger woman smiled. “Madison. I’m sorry you had to get that phone call earlier.”

  “Were you here when Eric came by?”

  The other woman nodded. “He was badgering Mrs. Grayson about you,” she said, lowering her voice. “He wanted to know how she could put you in charge instead of her own flesh and blood, and then he began yelling.” She paused and glanced over her shoulder. “My supervisor doesn’t like when we gossip,” she explained.

  Madison met Alex’s gaze before turning back to Katie. “Thank you. I appreciate you being honest. I’m going to talk to my lawyer and see what I can do to keep him from bothering her again. Although it’s sad. He’s her son.”

  The younger nurse touched Madison’s shoulder in understanding.

  She looked at Alex then, sudden recognition lighting her gaze. “You’re … Oh my God, you’re the old Tampa quarterback!” She snapped her fingers. “I’m so embarrassed I can’t think of your name, but my husband’s from Tampa, and I’m from Miami, and he’s such a huge fan!”

  Alex grinned. Sometimes he actually forgot he was famous, something that had never happened while he was still playing ball.

  “Can I get your autograph?” she asked excitedly, searching her pockets for a pen and paper.

  He laughed. “Don’t worry. I won’t leave without signing something for you.”

  “Thank you!” she practically squealed.

  Alex glanced at Madison, who hadn’t said a word since the other woman had recognized Alex. Her tight smile was obvious, at least to him, and she’d taken a noticeable
step back and away.

  He narrowed his gaze, realizing it was the fame thing that got to her, and he wondered why. She hadn’t seemed to mind when it was Jake, the kid in the wheelchair. But her uncomfortable reaction now was obvious. And that time at the dive bar, she’d made some comment about him signing the bimbo’s breasts.

  Before he could follow his thoughts further, Madison spoke. “I’m going to go into Franny’s room,” she said aloud.

  Alex cleared his throat. “I’m coming with you.”

  “She’s still sedated, so don’t expect much today, okay?” Katie said to Madison. To Alex, she whispered, “I’ll go find paper and pen.” Her mind was obviously still on getting his autograph.

  Madison pushed through the closed door, quietly walking into the room. Alex took in the cheery yellow walls and the floral hanging prints before his gaze came to a halt on a frail woman sleeping in bed.

  “Just a little over a month ago, we were having full conversations,” Madison said softly before stepping inside.

  “I’m sure if you talk to her, she’ll find it soothing, whether or not you think she can hear you. She’s sedated right now. Maybe next time you see her, she’ll be lucid and having a good day.”

  She nodded. “I hope you’re right.”

  Even if he wasn’t sure, he knew giving Madison hope couldn’t hurt. “Talk to her,” he said. If anyone needed to express herself, it was Madison.

  “Hi, Franny,” she said, pulling a chair up to the bed. “It’s Madison. I brought a friend with me today.”

  Alex placed a hand on Madison’s shoulder.

  “His name is Alex. I told you and Daniel about him a while ago, remember?”

  To Alex’s surprise, the older woman opened her eyes and blinked.

  “Franny?” Madison said.

  “Gracie?” the older woman croaked.

  Madison sighed. “That’s her sister. She passed away,” she explained to Alex.

  “No, it’s Madison,” she said, her voice sad.

  “I’m thirsty,” Franny said.

  “I’ll go get the nurse,” Alex said, leaving the room and returning a few minutes later with a nurse who held a pitcher of water and a cup with a straw.

  Before he’d walked into the room again, he’d placed a call to Jonathan and filled him in on what had transpired this morning. The lawyer had promised to do what he could to get an emergency hearing on Monday. He had a judge or two who owed him a favor and would move him up on the docket.

  As Alex reentered the room, the nurse was helping Franny to a sitting position and helped her take a sip of water.

  “She doesn’t know me today,” Madison murmured.

  “It’s probably the sedative we had to give her. You can try again later or tomorrow,” the nurse suggested.

  Madison nodded and rose to her feet. “We should get going. Franny, I’m going to make sure you’re not bothered here,” she said, leaning in and giving the unresponsive woman a hug.

  Alex’s heart broke for both this woman who was missing out on her life and for Madison, who had again lost someone important. No wonder she was afraid to really trust.

  They stepped into the hall and walked to the elevator. Alex waited until they were alone in the enclosed space and hit the pause button.

  “Alex!”

  “Two minutes.” He backed her against the wall, holding her in place with his body.

  “I hardly think this is the time or place for—”

  “It’s exactly the right time,” he said, lifting her chin and sealing his lips over hers.

  He kissed her firmly, using his tongue and all his coaxing skills until, with a resigned moan, she gave in and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. He urged his tongue between her lips and made love to her mouth, thrusting his tongue in and out, rubbing it against hers, mimicking the movement with his lower body rocking against hers.

  It took all his willpower to ease back, but he managed, looking deep into her now-glazed eyes.

  “What was that for?” she asked, running her tongue over her moist lips.

  “That was to remind you that you aren’t alone. You have me. And no matter how hard you try to push me away, I’m going to be right here pushing back.”

  She swallowed hard. “Until you’re not.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “One of these days, I’m going to put you over my knee and give you a good spanking,” he muttered.

  “Alex! Wake up. You’re going to test, they’re going to love you, and you’re going to take the job. Whether it’s weekends or football season only … you’re going to be back in the spotlight.”

  “So?” he asked, frustrated, not getting the problem.

  “So maybe you don’t remember yourself when you were a star, but I do. And I’m realistic enough to know that you loved that life. The only reason you’re with me now is because that didn’t work out for you. When the fame returns, so will the willing women. In droves. So forgive me if I keep a level head and make sure I can still pull myself together when you decide you’ve had enough of me this time!”

  Without warning, a male voice sounded through the elevator speaker. “Is everything okay in there?”

  “Yes, sorry.” She pulled out the red button on the wall, and the elevator began its descent once more. “We hit the stop button by mistake,” Madison said in a shaky voice.

  Alex wasn’t feeling any steadier as the pieces of the puzzle she’d been presenting since he’d gotten the job offer fell into place. He should have seen it sooner. Madison was uncomfortable with the women who paid attention to him. To him, they were the perks of fame he’d loved as an up-and-coming star quarterback and ones he’d taken advantage of more times than he wanted to admit. And though he no longer encouraged them, when he looked back at the man he’d been before his injury, he recalled how he sure hadn’t pushed those women away when he’d been with Madison in the past.

  She ran five steps ahead of him to the car, and he let her go. He knew better than to think words could convince her he really had changed for good. Like everything else with Madison, it would take time. And infinite patience.

  Unless he didn’t take the job. He could stick with the Thunder and the work he was doing there and give up on the idea of television and broadcasting altogether. And be the pitiful face of how to walk away from a career gracefully? he thought with more than a little disgust.

  He loved the work they were doing with the organization, and if he could manage to do both things, he’d stay on here. But he was honest enough to admit that the thought of returning to football in some sort of public capacity appealed to him. He couldn’t give that up, even for Madison. He had to believe that wasn’t what she’d want him to do either.

  He knew he was a different man now, and no amount of time in front of the camera would change that. It was her turn to change, he thought, with no small amount of frustration.

  But he didn’t know if she could alter a lifetime of ingrained negative expectations. And he didn’t know where that would leave them if she couldn’t.

  TEN

  Alex arrived at the rooftop bar where Riley had suggested they meet to talk. He was surprised she’d pick a bar, given her pregnant state, but it worked for him. The fact that she’d still come when he called meant a lot to him. There was no one else he could talk to about his problems with Madison besides the one woman who knew her almost as well as he did.

  He ordered a Patron Reposado, in the mood for something other than scotch tonight, and though he’d assumed Riley would drink an iced tea, he figured he’d wait till she chose herself. Her pregnancy hormones had her eating all sorts of weird shit.

  Someone slid into the seat beside him. Not Riley. He glanced at the man and swore. “Really? You?”

  Ian shrugged and grinned. “I feel the same way. But my wife can’t be in two places at once. Believe it or not, she thought I could handle you better than I could Madison.”

  He wasn’t surprised Madison had called Riley too.
“Okay then. A Glenlivet for my … brother,” Alex said to the bartender.

  He glanced at Ian, daring him to argue or throw in the word half, but he didn’t. “I get why you walked out on Riley after she landed herself in the hospital,” Alex admitted as the guy behind the bar slid a tumbler toward Ian.

  His brother took a long sip. “Can’t say it was one of my finer moments. Looking back, I don’t think it was the right way to handle things.”

  Alex raised an eyebrow. “What would’ve worked better?” They both knew Riley had been as stubborn in her own beliefs as Madison now was in hers.

  “I should have cuffed her to the bed until she saw reason.” Ian lifted his glass. “A little dominance once in a while doesn’t hurt.”

  Alex shook his head and grinned. “Probably more than I want to know about your relationship, but I get your point.” He swallowed a gulp, closing his eyes at the soothing burn. “I threatened to take her over my knee,” he muttered.

  Ian shrugged. “So do it.”

  The other man clearly wasn’t kidding. Alex was definitely considering it. That was a boundary they hadn’t crossed, not that he wasn’t tempted. Not to cause her pain but to give her pleasure.

  He cleared his throat. “I need to run something else by you,” he said, figuring it was the right thing to do.

  “Go on.”

  He went on to outline Rachel’s offer, the lack of details, and the potential conflict with his current job.

  “And that explains why Madison called Riley in a panic. She thinks you’re going to end up moving to what? East Coast? West?”

  Alex shrugged. “Even if I lived here full time, she’s got other issues that need to be worked out. As for east or west…”

  He shrugged. “Testing in New York this week. I’ll find out more then. I don’t think the move is something she’s even considering as the problem. I’d assume it’s a part-time gig anyway. Just during the season. At the very least, I could commute. Hell, if it meant full time, I don’t think I’d take it. Believe it or not, I like being nearby the family.”

  “I suppose they all can grow on you,” Ian conceded.

  Alex shook his head at his brother’s attitude. This was Ian softening, he thought wryly, and spun his drink between his palms. “Look, I don’t want you to think I’m taking my current job lightly. I wouldn’t bail on you or leave you and Madison in a lurch.”