Nate’s chest was already tight when Eli squeezed harder, astonishing Nate by lifting his feet off the floor a half an inch. So what if Kellan was back? It didn’t mean he was staying.
Nate hadn’t bothered to lock the upstairs door after letting Eli in, so it swung open under Kellan’s hand.
“I told you he’d come back.” Eli ran and gave Kellan the same big-squeeze treatment, though Kellan’s feet stayed on the floor.
“Was there a question about that?” Kellan looked at Nate. “Was I supposed to find someplace else to stay?”
“You can cut that stuff out, Kellan. I told Eli it was all a fake.”
Kellan kept looking at Nate, like there was something Nate was supposed to do. Nate dropped his gaze and went to the fridge. Eli had brought over an X-treme Cream and a Tangococo. For Kellan.
“Fake, huh?” Kellan said. “I didn’t know a guy could fake orgasms.”
Nate coughed. Half the mouthful of cream soda went into his lungs, half went up his nose, and almost all of it ended up on his arm as he spluttered and wiped his face.
“Okay, baby?” Kellan patted Nate’s back, hand then grasping his shoulder in a tight pinch. Nate turned and rubbed his face into Kellan’s shirt.
“You getting cream on me another way is exactly how I remember it.”
Eli laughed. “I remember you liked the tangerine-coconut, so I got you one.”
“Oh yeah, just one of the many things I couldn’t get back home.”
Nate dug his chin into Kellan’s shoulder to get him down the last few inches Nate needed to whisper in his ear. “What the fuck is going on?”
Kellan’s hand slid down Nate’s back and cupped his ass while using his other hand to reach into the fridge for the soda.
Nate jerked free.
Kellan uncapped the soda and leaned against the sink. “So I guess you guys want to know what happened?”
“Duh.” Eli rolled his eyes.
Kellan milked every last bit of attention, pausing to drink from the bottle so Nate had to watch the bob of his throat, the motion of his jaw, everything he couldn’t have. Why hadn’t he taken advantage of the opportunity last night and tasted that skin, felt it with his tongue?
“My dad was impressed.”
“Really?” Eli was a perfect fawning audience.
“Well, not with me, with Nate. Sorry, man. He thinks you turned me gay.”
“Didn’t I?”
“I thought that wasn’t possible, Mr. Advice Column guy.”
“For fuck’s sake, Nate”—there went Eli’s eyes again—“you know sexual orientation is set by the age of six at the latest, and probably in utero.”
“And is also influenced by environmental factors,” Nate added.
“Oh, like I had an absent father and that made me girlie.” Eli held up a limp-wristed hand. “That is so retro, it’s like the fucking fifties.”
“Do you guys want to hear the story or not?” Kellan thunked the bottle onto the counter.
“Sorry, Kellan,” Eli said.
Kellan looked at Nate.
“I’m not stopping you.” What the hell did Kellan want from him?
“So my dad says he’s getting grief from all those homophobic politician buddies of his and puts this check on the desk and says it’s mine if I come home and fly straight.”
“Did you rip it up?” Eli was almost bouncing on his feet like he was watching a parade. “Wait, how much was it for?”
Kellan shrugged. “Half a mil.”
Eli staggered and slapped a hand against the counter. “I feel faint.”
Nate heard some buzzing in his own ears. Five hundred thousand dollars might not be a lot to the Brooks family, but it went to hell and back in Nate’s world.
And Kellan hadn’t said whether or not he took it.
“I didn’t rip it up.” Kellan grinned. “I told him no. That I was happy right where I was.”
“Did it occur to you that you could have cashed the check and then told your father no?” Nate suggested.
“There’s always strings with the old man’s money.”
“Breaking news: Nate Gray is a fucking asshole. The man gave up a-a-a—I can’t even say it, I’ll pass out—a half a million dollars for you.” Eli stabbed Nate with a pointed finger.
“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call that breaking news,” Kellan said with a smile.
“Thanks.” Nate glared. “So where does that leave you?”
Kellan folded his arms across his chest. “I was kind of hoping here.”
“Nate, if you don’t blow him right now, I will.”
“Eli—” Nate ground his teeth together and grabbed the grinning Kellan to haul him into the bathroom.
“Oh yeah. Do it right,” Eli called after them. “I want to hear him this time.”
Nate shut the door, then leaned his head against it.
“So I guess that means you’re not going to blow me?” Kellan’s voice was too close, but there was no room to get away from him.
“Be serious for a second. What happened?”
“I wasn’t lying. He offered me money, said he didn’t like the idea of me being gay—”
“So he believed you now?”
“He had pictures.”
Nate hadn’t stuttered a word since he had speech therapy in first grade. “Last n-n-n-night?”
“No. Just us hanging around.” Kellan dropped the lid on the toilet seat and sat on it, then pulled Nate into an awkward sprawl on his lap. “Now that didn’t go like I thought it would.”
Nate’s knee throbbed where it had banged off the bathtub. “Because I’m not a girl.”
“Yeah, I know that.” Kellan let him up. “It’s kind of the point.”
“Pictures?” Nate rubbed his knee. That was creepy enough to make his gut squirm. Geoffrey had them followed? He was nuts. And who was to say he wasn’t still doing it?
“Can we forget about my dad for a second?”
“I’m still freaking out about the pictures. What kind of pictures?”
“Nate.” Kellan took his hand.
Now there was more to be freaked out about. Why was Kellan holding his hand? It was something you did when you had to give bad news. “Was it a private investigator? Should we talk to the cops? Isn’t that an invasion of privacy?”
“Nate,” Kellan said louder.
If it was bad news, if the stuff about walking out on his dad was another game he’d been playing in front of Eli, Nate wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.
“I think I’ll—”
Kellan grabbed Nate’s head and kissed him. Big hands held his face still, thumbs pressing on his cheeks, right above the line where he shaved, but the mouth on his was soft, coaxing. Kellan might be holding him in place for it, but he didn’t try to take charge of the kiss, almost as if he’d gotten this far and forgotten what to do.
Nate parted his lips and flicked his tongue, and Kellan’s tongue followed him back, bringing with it the taste of his mouth, the rain, the soda, and the memory of Kellan moving under him last night, the stroke of their cocks together. Blood pulsed and throbbed along Nate’s dick now with just the sweet drag of Kellan’s tongue against his.
Nate broke free. “What the fuck is that for?”
“Because I wanted it—you. And because you wouldn’t shut up.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I, I, I, me, me, me. Nate, I know it’s hard, but tear yourself away from yourself for a second.” But Kellan whispered the words into Nate’s lips with a smile, so it was hard to be pissed. “I told my father I was really gay. And in love with you. And he said that was it. Done. Over. He means it.”
Nate wanted to ask what Kellan meant—if he meant—but that would be another me thing, so he didn’t say anything.
“And you’re just going to look at me?” Kellan said.
“You know you can stay here. I said two months, but if you need longer—”
“Motherfucking shit, what’s it go
ing to take?” Kellan pushed Nate back against the door and got down on his knees. He put his hands on Nate’s belt, unhooked it. “I was ready before and I’m ready to prove it now.”
Kellan looked up at him, and Nate watched his hand cup the back of Kellan’s head. He hadn’t meant to do that, meant to grab his belt and put a stop to this, but Kellan was on the top button of his fly.
“I want to be here, Nate. Whatever it costs. Whatever it takes.”
Something had seriously gotten fucked in Nate’s nervous system because he was dragging Kellan’s face into the crotch of his still-zipped jeans, holding Kellan there to rub against the ache burning down to his thighs. Nate hadn’t decided on any of that, and it was still happening.
Kellan groaned and wrapped his arms around Nate’s thighs. Jesus, Nate could come like this, the damp heat of Kellan’s breath, the vibration of his groans, a little friction when his chin dug in. Kellan wouldn’t even have to—but he was pulling down the zipper, shoving jeans and briefs out of the way.
Nate tried to make himself say It’s okay, you don’t have to, but Kellan looked up and stroked Nate’s dick with a sure fist, and Nate couldn’t. He tried to make a few bargains with himself: It won’t be as hard on him if he doesn’t go down too far, if I don’t come in his mouth, if I blow him afterward.
Swiping his tongue across his palm, Kellan shifted hands and pulled Nate to his lips.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Kellan murmured, and Nate realized his hand was still on the back of Kellan’s neck.
Using a little pressure to tip Kellan’s head up, Nate whispered, “Just the tip, Kell, it’s all I’m going to need.”
Kellan’s lips parted in a smile, and then he wrapped them around the tip, licked across the slit, and pulled off.
Nate could read the reaction to the bitterness on Kellan’s face. “Yeah, it’s kind of—”
“Shut up.” Kellan licked him again, lapped all around the head, spit running out of his mouth.
“It’s okay, baby. Right there, just suck it a little. I won’t push.”
Kellan muttered something that tingled against Nate’s skin, but he sucked, tight pressure around the crown, and then used his hand on the shaft, bobbing, moving Nate’s cock back and forth over his soft, wet lips and tongue.
Nate knew where he was, couldn’t for a second forget what was happening, but he needed…. He cupped the back of Kellan’s head again, fingers threading through the thick hair. “Look up at me, baby, please.”
Kellan did, and the sight of him there made Nate’s knees buckle and his hips shake. Kellan tried to go farther down and coughed. Thank God he kept his teeth covered.
“Don’t worry about—oh Jesus—”
Kellan tried to slide down again.
“Here, baby, hold your head like this and relax.” All those promises were flying out the window. God help him, he’d tried. “I won’t choke you.” Nate rubbed a hand across Kellan’s cheek, along his jaw. “Like that, yeah.” He slid in deeper, backing off fast, slow slide in and then out, never all the way, but all the good soft parts of Kellan’s mouth were squeezing and rubbing on Nate’s dick. “That’s it.” He moved faster.
Kellan’s hand fell away, and Nate was using Kellan’s mouth, but it was too damned good to stop. “Pull off, baby, I’m gonna come.”
Nate thought he might have heard “Fuck that” before the rush from his balls flooded him with pleasure, blotting out everything but the way his dick felt so perfect shooting in Kellan’s mouth, shuddering every bit of sensation out of him until he sagged against the door. He slapped his hand out to hold himself up and snapped the bar off the towel rack.
Kellan sat back and wiped his mouth and chin on the back of his hand. “That’s, um—”
“They say vegetarians have better-tasting come.” Nate couldn’t believe that had jumped out of his mouth. In fact, he was a having a hard time believing almost anything he’d done since Kellan had knelt in front of him.
“So that’s why you are?” Kellan rolled to his feet. “Does it get you more head?”
“Doesn’t hurt to mention it.”
Kellan leaned in and kissed him. It wasn’t exactly a snowball, but there was plenty to taste. “So what do you think?”
“I think—” Nate’s knees finally gave out, and he sank onto the floor. “—that I don’t fucking know anything.”
“That’s what I’ve always wanted to hear you say.”
Chapter Seventeen
DUMBFOUNDED WORRY wasn’t exactly what Kellan had been hoping to see in Nate’s eyes, especially not after Nate had made those sounds as he pumped a bitter load into Kellan’s mouth. About which, Kellan was brushing his teeth. Right now.
It wasn’t until Kellan had gotten back to the apartment and Nate had started acting like seeing Kellan come back was somewhere down on his list of favorite things to do between cleaning the toilet and dying of malaria that Kellan realized he’d staked his life on a look in a photograph. He’d never actually seen Nate look at him like he had in the picture, and he sure as shit wasn’t looking at Kellan like that now.
He scrubbed at his tongue. He’d really liked having Nate’s dick in his mouth, right up until he shot.
Kellan was sure he’d get used to it. He hadn’t really liked beer at first either, but the buzz was worth it.
He kind of thought Nate would leave the bathroom, but he dragged his ass up and started trying to fix the towel rack he’d knocked on the floor, glancing over at Kellan from time to time as if he was going to somehow evaporate. That was the only way to get out of the bathroom with Nate standing there in front of the door, unless Kellan tried to go through him.
A little touch would be nice, considering the other effect those sounds had on Kellan was to make his rock-hard dick leak like a fucking faucet in his jeans.
A bang startled Kellan into spitting in the sink as Nate started whaling on the end of the rack with his palm to force the bar back in place. Like he was the one feeling a little frustrated.
Kellan rinsed out his mouth and wiped with his hand again. That still smelled like Nate—the smell way better than the taste—and it only made Kellan’s dick harder.
“That bad, huh?” Nate nodded at the sink.
“I hear it’s mostly sugar, and I can’t afford a dentist.”
“There is that.”
Kellan had been counting on Nate actually knowing what he was doing with the whole gay thing. Nate had the sex part down okay, at least as far as bossing around the guy who was trying to get him off, but his after-sex moves needed serious work. Like now. Like what about some attention for Kellan’s dick? Was he supposed to stick himself in a cold shower?
Nate put his hand on the doorknob. Out there was more room to execute a classic Gray-run, invent a need to leave, or hide behind Eli’s attention-grabbing drama. Kellan wasn’t ready to give Nate up to that. Not at least until they’d settled a few things.
Kellan put his hand on the door. Nate looked up, the question in his clear brown eyes still not what Kellan was hoping to see.
For all Nate said he wasn’t a chick, Kellan couldn’t believe he had to do the asking. “So, two guys walk into a little room. Both their dicks get hard, but only one gets off.”
The eyes Kellan was watching so closely widened in surprise, then Nate put his palm against Kellan’s crotch and rubbed.
“That does seem to be a problem.” Nate’s fingers tightened around the length, and he stroked again. “But why is it a problem for the guy who got off?” he murmured.
“Because that guy could get a reputation as a cock tease. And then how would he ever get laid again?”
“That is a problem.” Nate slid his hand down the waistband of Kellan’s thankfully loose jeans, but they were only loose enough to let Nate’s hand work in tiny jerks.
“You’re the advice columnist.” Kellan pushed the words out as his breath came faster.
“My solution to the problem is for the guy who got off to give the ot
her guy the best hand job of his life, and the problem will be solved.”
“A hand job, huh?”
Nate freed his hand and spun Kellan around so his back was to him. With a nudge of his knee, Nate pushed Kellan to the edge of the tub and unfastened his jeans. “A hand job.”
There was the thunk of an open cabinet behind them. Then Nate was back, hand slick and warm as it stroked the shaft. The heat built until Kellan knew it was one of those special lubes that got hotter with friction. He wanted to accuse Nate of cheating, but damn, it felt nice.
“Because when I blow you, Kellan, you’re going to be really glad it wasn’t in this tiny little bathroom.” Nate’s fingers now slipped over Kellan’s balls, tracing the shape like a couple of warm, wet tongues, then cupping him until the palm felt like a mouth, holding his whole sac while the same wet, hot pressure worked his shaft as Nate used both hands on him.
“Why?” Kellan gasped the word out.
“Because you’re going to need lots of room to spread out and go crazy.”
“Yeah.”
“Gonna be so good.”
That kind of let’s-wait bullshit wasn’t much different from the excuses Kellan had given Delia the last month of their engagement. Was this why he couldn’t go through with it? Because what he’d really wanted was another guy—Nate—to do this to him?
A twist to the strokes, thumb paying special attention to the spot right under the head. Oh hell yeah. There were definite advantages to having another guy jerk you off. Strong sure grip, broad solid body to lean back into while you concentrated on the feelings.
“I’m going to use my mouth on you like this. Then I’m going to finger your ass.” As Nate went on in that hoarse whisper, his finger slipped under Kellan’s balls, spreading heat and sensation along the skin there, skin so thin it seemed like Nate’s finger was already in him.
“Fuck.” Kellan’s throat trapped the word so it came out high and tight.
“You can tell me that later. After I do it. You can tell me if you want it. And if I do it right, you’re going to beg me.”
A teasing, darting pressure that rearranged a lot of what Kellan thought he knew about his body, and then Nate’s attention was all on Kellan’s balls and dick, pushing him hard now, forcing him closer. Kellan reached back blindly, got a hand on Nate’s head and another one on his hip, and let Nate take more of his weight.
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