In the Shadow of the Mountains

by Rosanne Bittner

  Servants brought out a feast of soup, roast, ham, potatoes, an array of vegetable dishes and warm breads, served from gold and silver bowls and platters, dished onto fine china and eaten with silver forks and spoons. Just when people were almost painfully full, a variety of puddings and pies were served. The most heated topic of conversation continued to be Indians.

  Red cast Kirk a look that Kirk understood well. Here he was presenting his half-Indian daughter to a group of people who would like nothing better than to see the Indians wiped off the face of the earth, or at least off the face of Colorado Territory. At that very moment Governor Evans was talking to Billy Byers about ways to make sure the southern Cheyenne stayed on reservation land, and plans he had in mind to get that reservation moved completely out of Colorado. “Settlers out on the plains are terrified,” the man was saying. “We’ve gotten rid of the Ute. Now it’s time to do something about the Cheyenne. They’re getting way out of hand, and I’m getting a lot of pressure from our constituents who live away from Denver and are less protected. What I’m worried about is Denver being cut off from the East, losing telegraph communication, supply lines being cut.”

  Others joined in the conversation, every remark against the Indians. Kirk and Red did not share the opinions of the others, but both knew that in this group it was useless to voice their feelings or try to explain the Indian point of view. Red knew that Kirk’s own concern was not just that he was hiding his own daughter’s identity, but that somewhere out there his own son could be part of the Indian uprising. What would people at this table think if they knew?

  Kirk glanced at Bea, who spoke against the Indians right along with the others. Sometimes he wondered if she had loved and mothered Irene with such devotion that she had actually forgotten the girl was half Indian.

  After the meal, the men retired to the smoking room and the women to the parlor to visit more and rest full stomachs before climbing a carpeted, circular staircase, first to the second floor, across a balcony and up another circular stairway to the ballroom, where a six-piece orchestra struck up a waltz.

  Chad started the dancing by sweeping Irene onto the hardwood floor, her blue silk dress flowing elegantly with their whirling steps. Susan Stanner watched with feelings of envy and and yet a thrill at the romance of it; Elly watched with pure hatred. The Byers joined in the dance, and Governor Evans asked permission from Kirk to dance with Bea. Kirk readily obliged, hating all the pretending, but going along with what was expected of him. This was not the life he would have chosen, but he had chosen this place, this land, and he was not about to leave it. Much as he hated to admit it, he liked thinking of Denver as “his” town, Colorado as “his” territory, the mountains as “his” domain. Here he was closer to the old life, closer to the son he had never known. Bea had been right about one thing. He liked the challenge of increasing his empire, and he wondered if some of her thinking had rubbed off on him more than he realized.

  Sometimes he felt as if he were two different men, one who wanted to roam the mountains unencumbered, the other enjoying being Denver’s most prominent citizen. One man lived with this family he had created, the other loved a prostitute named Mary O’Day. He could put up with being constantly torn between two worlds—put up with it for Irene’s sake. He figured he could handle anything, except Irene’s being hurt. He could not forget Red’s words about how it was wrong to keep Irene’s identity from her, and as he watched her float around the dance floor with Chad, he saw in her all innocence. How he would hate to see that destroyed. He wished he had never struck the bargain with Bea to raise her as Bea’s daughter, but it was too late now to reveal the truth.

  Indian. He could just imagine how the people watching her dance now would react if they knew Irene was half Cheyenne, the very Indians Coloradans hated most.

  “You look beautiful tonight, Irene,” Chad told her softly. “More beautiful than I’ve ever seen you.”

  His eyes dropped to the silken mounds of her breasts that were revealed by the low neckline of her dress, and Irene felt her cheeks going crimson. She was still unsure of her feelings for Chad, but he had a way about him that sometimes made her feel the way she had felt with Ramon. Perhaps this was how love was supposed to be, a slowly building feeling, rather than the sudden passion she had felt for Ramon.

  The dance ended, and Chad led her through French doors to a third-floor balcony and cooler air, while the music started again and others began to dance. Chad led Irene away from the doors where no one could see them, and before she realized what was happening, he had pulled her close and covered her mouth in a slow, searching kiss.

  She half-heartedly tried to pull away, but he pressed her closer, refusing to release her mouth until he felt her relax in his arms. One thing Chad Jacobs knew how to do well was kiss, and one thing he did not understand was that any woman might not want that kiss. None had ever refused, and he was not about to ruin his record with Irene Kirkland, for he intended to make her his wife, and that was that.

  Irene felt somewhat stiff and awkward at first, then began to relax, thinking how this kiss did not fully awaken her desires the way Ramon’s had but realizing she had to give Chad Jacobs a chance. Certain desires were aroused simply from Chad’s expertise at how to bring the best out of a woman. He quickly ran his tongue inside her mouth, while he crushed her breasts against his chest and touched her bare back gently with his strong hand.

  He left her mouth then, alive with desire at the sweet taste of her full lips. “I love you, Irene,” he whispered gruffly. “I might as well say it out.” He kissed at her neck, and Irene felt a tingle rush through her. She was not sure if it was love or just curiosity and awakened needs she did not know how to handle. He was not giving her time to think.

  “I love you,” he repeated, “and I hate the thought of you going away for so long.” He kissed her neck, making her wonder what it might be like to let a man kiss her breasts, instantly thinking how much more thrilling this would be if it was Ramon, then hating herself for the thought. Here was the most eligible man in all of Denver telling her he loved her, desired her, that he would miss her. She felt like a fool and a traitor.

  He kissed her eyes, met her lips again in a groaning kiss, then moved his lips to nibble at her ear. “I just want you to know I’ll wait for you, Irene. I’ll write, every day if you want. You’ll write back, won’t you?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, for the moment somewhat swept off her feet. He was so sincere she almost felt sorry for him. Were those tears she saw in his eyes? He really did love her, and this was surely the right match for her. She had grown accustomed to his company, and she realized she really would miss him when she was gone. “I love you, too, Chad,” she found herself saying.

  There were his tender lips again, searching her mouth. There were those gray eyes hypnotizing her with their sincerity. His hands touched her so gently, so lovingly. His breath was sweet, and he smelled wonderful. There was not one thing about Chad Jacobs that wouldn’t excite any woman. “We’ve had so little time together, and now you’re going away,” he was saying. “I just don’t want you to forget me.” He pulled away slightly, searching her eyes. “My God, I’m sorry, Irene. I had no right—”

  “It’s all right. I—I haven’t been sure how I felt about you, Chad, but I must say, you’ve helped me know. I wasn’t sure your own feelings were this strong.”

  “How could you not be sure?” he almost pleaded. “I’ve loved you from the first moment I set eyes on you. You’re beautiful, you’re warm, you’re sweet. A man couldn’t ask for more in a woman than the lady I hold in my arms right now.” He kept rubbing a hand over her back, and she thought how gentle and knowledgeable he must be in bed. Perhaps this was the way it was supposed to be—a woman learned to love and desire her husband, letting him make all the first moves, letting him awaken her desires by the right touch, the right kiss. Maybe there was something sinfully wrong with wanting a man almost from the first meeting, the way she had want
ed Ramon.

  She was a woman now, a Kirkland woman. Her mother had practically chosen Chad for her, and she remembered again that she had certain responsibilities. Ramon’s marriage had been arranged, and maybe that was best after all. Who knew better what was best for her than her own mother? And, after all, she was going away. Poor Chad.

  “It will be a long winter, Chad. I’ll write often, and I’ll miss you. I’ll come back as soon as possible.”

  He smiled the melting smile that had fooled so many. “God, you’re beautiful,” he almost moaned. “I’ll miss you so. When you come back, we’ll see a lot of each other. Maybe…” He sighed deeply, pulling farther away, longing to rip away the bodice of her dress and reveal the virgin nipples that lay beneath the lace. “It’s too soon to speak of marriage, but that thought has already come to mind, Irene. Forgive me for being so forward.”

  She took his hands. “It’s all right. I’m honored that you would think of it so soon. We need time to think, Chad. Maybe it is good that I’m leaving for a while.”

  He sighed deeply. “Maybe. And maybe I could have one more kiss before we go back into the ballroom.”

  She thought of Ramon, and the hurt. He had left without a word, married someone else, with whom he was sharing these things. He had taken another woman to his bed, and made love to her, planted a baby in her belly. He had probably forgotten by now the silly gringa out of whom he had enticed a kiss. Should she deny herself this seemingly perfect husband because of a love she could never have?

  Ramon had hurt her, whether it was for her own good or not. She would not forget how she felt the day Hank Loring had told her Ramon was happily married. It was time to forget Ramon and turn her full attention to Chad Jacobs.

  “Yes,” she answered. “You can have another kiss.”

  He smiled again, crushing her close first, running his lips tenderly along her shoulder, then across her neck, her cheek, meeting her lips again. Irene told herself this could not be so bad. If women were expected to marry, she couldn’t do any better than Chad Jacobs, could she? She returned the kiss, wanting to show him she could be a responsive woman. After all, he had most surely been with other women, knew all about sex. He would surely be a gentle teacher when the time came.

  She opened her eyes then to see Elly standing there staring at them. She quickly pulled away from Chad, touching her lips. “Elly! What are you doing out here!” She shivered then at the look of near hatred in her sister’s eyes.

  “Mother is looking for you,” Elly answered. “You’d better cool your cheeks and get back in there.”

  Irene looked at Chad, who gave her a wink. “Maybe you’d better.” He touched her cheek. “We’ll go for a ride tomorrow. I want to see plenty of you before you go away.”

  She nodded. “Will you come back in and dance with me?”

  He smiled. “You know I will.”

  Irene glanced at Elly again, irritated with her little sister sneaking up on her the way she had. She touched her cheeks and then straightened her dress, going back inside. Elly stood there staring at Chad, her eyes strangely unreadable. She walked closer to him then, folding her arms in front of her so that her breasts were forced together, making them appear bigger. “Will you dance once with me, Chad?” she asked.

  Chad, who was an expert on young girls, grinned, telling himself to beware. This one wanted him, and he would like nothing better than to grant her wish. But Elly Kirkland spelled trouble, and he had made too much progress now with Irene to let anything spoil it. He walked closer, touching her arm. “Not tonight. Irene is going away, and I want to dance every dance I can with her.” He gave her a wink, squeezing her arm. “Maybe another time, Elly, when you’re a little older.”

  He walked back inside, and Elly struggled not to faint. Chad Jacobs had touched her, and he had glanced down at her breasts. She had seen the desire in his eyes, and she felt crazy with love for him. Someday, somehow, she would find a way to make him belong only, to her. It would be her lifelong goal.

  She walked to the French doors, gazing into the ballroom to see Irene dancing with her father, and Chad Jacobs dancing with Susan Stanner.

  Chapter Fifteen

  1863

  Chad timed it all carefully. To show any interest in Susan too soon after Irene left would make Susan suspicious. He had to wait long enough for Susan to believe he was losing interest in Irene, that he was getting lonely, that he was struggling to do the honorable thing by being true to Irene in spite of being attracted to Susan.

  Four months—that was certainly long enough. In those four months he had discreetly glanced at her every week in church, while he sat with the Kirklands, and Susan sat in the choir. He knew how to give a look that accomplished a number of his goals: charmed her, but appeared merely friendly; seduced her; made him appear lonely. There had never been a touch or more than a few friendly words exchanged after work, or where he might run into her, or during an occasional game of cards or checkers with Susan, John, and Elly at the Kirkland household.

  Chad Jacobs had not done one thing that would make anyone think he had an interest in Susan Stanner. But he knew that Susan interpreted his looks and movements differently. She was infatuated with him, probably secretly in love with him. He knew she would grasp any eye contact or exchanged words as meaning he was interested in her, because she so desperately wanted it to be true. Elly Kirkland held the same desperate feelings, but Elly was deceitful and conniving, and Chad knew if he ever touched her she would find a way to hold it over his head and possibly keep him from marrying Irene.

  Susan was different. She was sweet and trusting, a lot like Irene. But unlike Irene, he sensed that all it would take was one kiss, one touch, to enjoy the exquisite pleasure of stealing her virginity. Where Irene was somewhat apprehensive and tentative, Susan would explode with passion.

  He approached the Kirkland home, where he had been invited for supper. He gazed at the mansion, feeling extreme satisfaction in realizing that it was only a matter of time before he would be a part of this wealthy family. He had at least gotten more kisses out of Irene before she left for Chicago, had awakened some of the passion he suspected lay beneath that reserved exterior. It still irritated him that Irene had not responded to him the way other women did, and he was anxious for their wedding night. He would, by God, show her how a woman was supposed to feel, supposed to react to Chad Jacobs.

  In the meantime, Irene was not here, but Susan was; and he had abstained from his flings with women long enough. Why not one more, before he was tied to just one? Already he had been contemplating the ways a man could cheat on his wife, but Irene Kirkland would be too valuable a wife to take too big a risk. He would have to be more careful than ever once he was married.

  He rode his horse through a thick January snow, reaching the front entrance of the Kirkland mansion, where a buggy already sat. It was the Stanner buggy. They were also dining with the Kirklands tonight. Chad decided it was the perfect opportunity to begin moving in on Susan Stanner. He dismounted and tied his horse to a fancy hitching post, then hurried up the steps to the heavy oak doors, feeling almost giddy as he knocked.

  The maid Jenny Porter let him in, giving him the same look most women gave him. He returned the look with a wink as he handed her his hat, and the woman laughed lightly, turning red, and thinking what a handsome, charming man Irene Kirkland would one day marry. What a lucky young lady she was! She took his coat and led Chad to the parlor, where the Stanners sat visiting with Bea Kirkland. Kirk himself was gone again, back in the mountains, this time with John.

  The timing was excellent. Although he was good friends with Kirk now, he suspected the man was not so easily fooled. He had to be extra careful around him. Bea, on the other hand, thought he could do no wrong. There were no watchdogs now, and no Irene in the way. The only one he had to be careful of was Elly, who seemed to watch his every move.

  He was warmly welcomed by Bea, and just as he expected, when he sat down in a love seat, Elly i
mmediately moved to sit down beside him. He moved his eyes to Susan, again giving her a look in which he knew she took great hope. He watched her redden, watched her drop her eyes, watched her young, full breasts move as she began to breathe a little harder.

  She wanted him. He could even see the outline of her nipples through her dress and camisole, ripe nipples that had grown taut with an ache to be touched the moment she met his eyes. He casually entered the conversation, carefully avoided looking at Susan again until they were guided into the dining room and Susan was seated across from him. Again he gave her the look, and he took great pleasure in noticing she could hardly eat.

  How he loved these games! He was getting much deeper into the contest now, and his game plan was working exceedingly well. The conversation turned to how Irene liked to ride horseback, and Susan told Bea that she also liked to ride.

  “I go riding every morning,” she told the woman, glancing at Chad then, “down along the ravine behind the church. There are no Indians or Chinese there, so it’s safe. And it’s so pretty, even in winter.”

  Bea went on to say how she hated the cold, how nice the winters had been in California. “But Kirk loves it here, and I’ve grown to love it, too,” she was saying. Chad and Susan hardly heard her. Their eyes met for a moment, and Chad knew Susan’s admission of where she liked to ride was an open invitation for him to join her. “I still don’t like Irene doing so much riding,” Bea was saying. “Oh, it’s fine to like to ride, Susan, but young ladies like yourself and Irene have to be thinking of other things.”