Find Me (Life After the Outbreak, Book 2)

by Baker, LJ

  Finally catching his breath, Will was the first to break the silence. "That was a long three days without you." His voice was a low growl.

  He looked at me in that way that was becoming common after we kissed. We both knew where things were heading, but neither of us took the leap to take it further.

  I hopped off his lap and went to put my training gear in the small closet we shared.

  Will came up behind me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "Andi …”

  "So, you're back for a while, then?" I pretended to rearrange a few things that were perfectly fine where they had been.

  He took my wrist and gently pulled me around to face him. "You're changing the subject."

  "What subject?"

  "You know exactly what subject." He pulled me against him. His eyes bore into me, seeing down to my core.

  "Will … I—“

  He pushed my overgrown bangs away from my eyes. "Baby, I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for, but I do think we need to at least talk about it."

  He was right. We did need to talk about it, but every time I opened my mouth to try, I froze.

  "I think we should leave." I blurted out the words and waited for his brain to catch up with what I said.

  He furrowed his eyebrows and loosened his hold on me. "Okay, that’s so not what I thought we were talking about."

  I pulled away from him and went to sit on the dresser across the room. "I was … thinking, that maybe it's time for us to … uh, leave."

  "Andi, you were the one who wanted to stay. Actually, you begged me to stay. You said it would be good for us to try living in a community, that we could have a normal life."

  "I know I did, but maybe it wasn't the right choice."

  He walked over and stood in front of me. "Did something happen?"

  “No, Will. Nothing happened."

  "This isn't the kind of decision you make impulsively."

  "It's not impulsive."

  "Andi, you are the most impulsive person I've ever met. We can't just risk our lives on a whim."

  I turned to glare at him. "I didn't just come up with this now, Will. I’ve been trying to talk to you about this for the last two weeks"

  He took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. "Okay. If you've been thinking about it, you must have reasons for wanting to go."

  "It's hard to explain. This place … something just doesn't feel right about it." I shook my head, not having the words I needed to explain how I felt.

  "Babe, I know it's been difficult for you here. Janet has been kicking your ass in training, and you haven't made many friends but maybe if you just give it awhile, things will get better."

  I sighed. He wasn't getting it. "It's not that, Will. Janet hasn't been a problem. She's taught me a lot and I'm grateful to her. And I have made friends.” As long as Jack and Hadley counted. “It’s just … I mean … I’m not sure we can trust everything here. I’ve heard rumors about weird things happening, and …”

  Will dropped his face into his hands and scrubbed over it a few times. "Okay, but we really haven't been given a reason not to trust anyone here. Have we?"

  "Well, no, but—"

  "Then, maybe we should give it a chance, like you told me when we got here." He looked up at me wearily. I could tell he was too tired and emotionally drained from the trip to be having that conversation.

  "Wait, actually, yes. I was talking to Jack—"

  "Who's Jack?"

  "The old guy at the infirmary I told you about."

  "Okay." He moved back on the bed and settled in for the rest of the story.

  "Jack told me they are doing human experiments in the lab over on the north end of the compound."

  "And how does he know?" Will looked more amused than anything.

  "He was there. He said he could hear the screaming. Will, this is serious. They did experiments on him too."

  Will sat up and leaned forward toward me. "Why is Jack in the clinic? Is it possibly for mental health reasons?"

  "He has an infection. Will, this isn't a joke. Did you know that if you get bit on your arm or leg, cutting off the limb right away can stop the virus from spreading? That's what Jack did. Hacking his leg off saved him. He lived through a bite, Will. He actually survived. They know this, and aren't telling people."

  "How do you know that's what happened?"

  "Are you serious? Why would he lie?" I couldn't believe he wasn't taking this seriously.

  "I don't know, to impress a pretty girl?"

  "Don't be stupid. He's like seventy-five years old. He isn't just making up stories."

  "Ah, well that explains it."

  "No, it doesn't. He's not senile, or crazy, or making up fantasies. I believe him, Will. That should be enough for you too."

  Will sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. If that really worked, why would they keep it from us?"

  "I don't know. Jack said they told him it only worked about twenty percent of the time, but still, that's an awful lot of lives that could be saved. He said they threatened him to keep quiet."

  "I don't know, Andi. It all sounds like some crazy conspiracy garbage. What makes you believe this guy?"

  "I talked to him. I saw the way he looked when he told the story, Will. He wasn't lying. And, he's not the only one who thinks weird stuff is going on in that lab. People talk about stuff that goes on in that place. Are you telling me you never heard anything?"

  "Sure, I've heard rumors, but honestly, Andi, they're just rumors. And come on, of course they are doing experiments. It's no secret they are working on a cure. That is why we came here, isn't it? So they could help Rose?"

  "Rose." I looked down and sighed. "Apparently, she didn't make it, and no one bothered to let any of us know."

  Will took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "How'd Janet take it?"

  "Like you might expect. She was angry and refused to talk about it. She cancelled our one-on-one session and stormed off. I think she just wanted to be alone."

  "Yeah, sounds like Janet."

  "Look, Will, I know you like it here, but I don't trust it. Maybe everything is on the up and up, but what if it's not? Should we really take that chance?"

  "Even if everything you said is true, we have to be realistic. Maybe they have a reason for not telling us about amputation as a possible treatment. We can't be sure. And, it makes sense that they are doing experiments, how else are they going to have any possible chance to come up with a vaccination or treatment for this virus, if they don't experiment? Experiments don't have to mean something sinister babe."

  "But—"

  "Andi, I get that you're worried. I'm not suggesting we ignore those things, but right now, this place is safe. We have enough food and we don't have to worry about getting attacked in our sleep. I think, at least for now, we should stay."

  "It's not safe when you keep getting sent out there. How is that any better than being on our own?"

  "You're right. It's not, but what we are doing out there is important. We have to fight these things so maybe, one day, we don't have to live like this.

  How about this … what if we stay for now, while you finish your training and learn all we can while we are here? When you graduate training, we can decide then what we are going to do. If you still want to go then, we will."

  "I guess so." It wasn't like we were in any immediate danger.

  "Good." He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Wanna take a nap with me?" He patted the bed next to him.

  Part of me wanted to jump in bed with him and spend the day there. It was the same part that also wanted to leave the base so that I could have Will all to myself, though I didn’t tell him that.

  I shook my head. "Can't gotta take care of a few things. I'll see you at dinner?"

  "Sure." He laid back on the bed and settled in to rest.

  I knew if I got in that bed with him right then, things might go further than just taking a nap. We had known each other a couple months and in zombie apo
calypse time, that was forever. We were both adults, and there was no reason to wait, but still, something was holding me back. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I most certainly did. Every time Will kissed me or held me close enough to feel his breath on my skin, my body screamed out for more. I wanted him more than I wanted to breathe. Yet, at the same time, a panic rose up, and something inside me wanted to run.

  I glanced back at him one last time before I slipped from the room. His eyes were closed and he was already halfway to dreamland. He was peaceful, beautiful, and I wanted to sneak over and steal one more kiss from his lips before I left. But I knew all it would take is one look from his eyes or a touch of his hand for me to jump in feet first and that last bit of fear refused to allow it.

  I made my way down the hall to Hadley's room and knocked quietly on her door.

  She flipped open the door and clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh Andi, you made it." She backed away from the door and motioned for me to enter.

  "I thought I'd come see that teacup collection you've been talking about." I wasn't really interested in teacups, but something about Hadley drew me in and made me want to know more.

  "That is most excellent. Please, have a seat." She led me over to a fancy upholstered chair next to a small white table.

  Hadley's room was the same size as the rest in this building, but the furnishings looked like something out of a Pottery Barn kid's catalog. The room I shared with Will had a mattress and box spring on the floor, a dresser we shared, and an old overstuffed ripped chair. It looked like we dragged everything in from the curb on garbage day.

  As I looked around Hadley's room though, I couldn't imagine how she got all that stuff. Her room looked like a six year old lived there, not a sixteen-year-old.

  "This room is incredible, Hadley."

  Her eyes lit up and her smile grew wider. "I am so glad you like it. I do not get many visitors. Let me show you my teacups now."

  Fancy porcelain cups lined four white shelves above the table. She took them down one by one and let me hold each one. They were stunning, each more beautiful than the last.

  I carefully handed the cups back to her after looking them over and listening to her describe each one. "Hadley, how did you get all of this stuff?"

  She smiled, keeping her eyes on the last cup as she returned it to its place on the shelf. "I collect things." She pulled out a small package wrapped in crisp white paper. "There are some things people need to know, and in return they provide me with items I find interesting." She began unwrapping the paper revealing a large square of chocolate.

  My mouth watered as she snapped the bar into pieces and handed me one. "What do you mean, 'things people need to know'?"

  She paused and waited for me to pop the chocolate into my mouth. I moaned a little in pleasure as it melted on my tongue. It had been far too long since I had anything so delicious.

  She handed me a second piece and wrapped the rest back up. "What have you heard about me?"

  "That you are weird and sometimes get violent," I blurted out, still lost in a haze of chocolaty goodness. I immediately realized my mistake and looked up apologetically.

  "Do not worry, I know people say those things. I guess it is kind of true. I know that I am … I guess you could call it quirky, and I have some difficulty controlling my temper."

  She got up from the table and sat down on her bed. I stayed where I was and watched her carefully. I didn't know what to expect from the girl.

  She kept her eyes down and ran her fingers back and forth over the patterns on her quilt. "I have been different my whole life. The people who raised me said I did not speak until I was six. I do not remember not talking. I only remember the voices. They have always been there. Sometimes they tell me things people need to know."

  "What exactly does that mean, Hadley?" I walked over and sat on the edge of her bed, intrigued by the girl's strangeness, and the fact that she heard voices, yet seemed to function perfectly fine.

  Her deep blue eyes came up to meet mine. "I hear things, things that will happen, things that will help people, things that people need to hear."

  I raised one eyebrow and tried not to sound judgmental. "You mean, you're psychic?"

  She turned her head away and rolled her eyes. "Some people like to call it that."

  "Oh." I wasn't sure what to say. I certainly didn't want to piss her off, but what she was saying was kind of crazy.

  "You do not believe me." She smirked, probably used to that reaction.

  "It’s not that, it's just—"

  "It is fine. I did not expect you to believe me. I realize that even while living in a zombie apocalypse, people have a difficult time coming to terms with the supernatural."

  I looked down, not sure of what to say. If I was to believe the rumors about Hadley, she had sent more than a few people to the infirmary, and even killed at least one. Of course, if those rumors were true, I doubted she would be walking around free. Yet still, I was going to do my best to avoid setting her off.

  "I better get going, Hadley."

  "I understand. Will you visit me again sometime? I have so much more I would like to show you." She looked up at me with child-like innocence, and sprang to her feet to see me out.

  "Yes. I will." Strangely, I meant it too. I didn't know what it was about the odd girl, but I knew I would be back.

  Before I could get through the door, she stopped me and placed the package of chocolate into my hand. "I want you to take this."

  "Hadley, chocolate is hard to come by. You should keep it for yourself."

  "No. I want you to have it." Her eyes were intense and serious.

  I was almost afraid to turn her down. "Okay. Thank you."

  Her face softened, and she slowly spread her lips into a smile. "I will see you soon, Andi." She closed the door behind me, and I could hear her skip across the room, humming her usual tune.

  I looked down at the parcel in my hand. I wanted to tear off the paper and devour the whole thing right there, but I knew what the right thing to do was. I shoved it into my bag and hurried out of the building.

  Chapter Six

  "You got a minute?" I followed along behind Janet as she went from person to person, checking their weapons.

  She was teaching a group of young teens gun cleaning. My father taught me and the other kids with us how to clean a variety of weapons the first week after the outbreak, so I was immune from the torture, at least.

  She continued what she was doing, not even pausing to look in my direction. "Does it look like I have a minute?"

  "I realize you're busy, Janet. I just wanted to give you something."

  She stopped, spun around to face me, and raised both eyebrows. "If you jammed another weapon, I swear to—"

  "No, no. Nothing like that." I shoved the white paper package toward her. "I ... I wanted you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me. I know I can be a little difficult sometimes, but—"

  "Sometimes?" She snorted and took the package.

  I dropped my eyes down and held back a smile. "Okay, maybe a lot."

  I peeked back up and noticed Janet smirking.

  See, I knew I was growing on her.

  She quickly straightened up and tried to look serious again. "What is it?"

  "Something you deserve. Open it." My pulse sped up as she started unwrapping the paper. I hoped she wasn't allergic or something. That would have been just my luck.

  "Chocolate?" Her eyes widened. "Where did you get this?"

  "Hadley gave it to me."

  She tilted her head a bit and narrowed her eyes. "Why didn't you keep it for yourself?"

  "I told you, to thank you for putting up with me and teaching me. I know you've gone out of your way to give me extra lessons so I can be with Will sooner. I really appreciate everything." I looked away, suddenly feeling a little silly, like a child bringing an apple to the teacher.

  Janet was quiet for a moment, so I looked back to see what her react
ion was. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her lips were pressed tightly together.

  My heart sank into my stomach and a wave of panic shot through me. "Are you allergic?" I thought for sure I had screwed up yet again.

  "No. I'm not allergic." She took a deep breath to compose herself.

  "What then? You hate chocolate? It reminds you of something bad? I'm really sorry. I was just trying to—"

  "Andi, shut up please."

  I immediately clamped my lips together and waited while she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket. She didn't say anything for one excruciatingly long minute, then she wrapped the chocolate back up and stuffed it into her pocket.

  "I owe you an apology, too."

  "Huh? No. You've just been trying to help me."

  "Yes. I have been trying to help you, but it hasn't always been this way. Andi, it's no secret that I didn't like you when we met. I wanted Will to leave with me and forget about you."

  No secret there. She was a royal bitch when we met.

  "I get it. You care about him."

  "I really do. He's like a baby brother to me."

  I put my hand up to my mouth to keep from laughing. "Yeah, I know."

  She shook her head. " I can't believe you thought there was something going on between us."

  "Hey. In my defense, I did walk in and find you two half naked in bed together."

  Her face softened, and she smiled. "Okay. I'll give you that. Still, I'm sorry about that. I still think you're an immature little brat, but you're not as bad as I thought."

  “Gee, thanks. I can feel the love."

  She smacked me in the arm. "Don't be a moron."

  I took a deep breath and pulled her against me, hugging her tightly. I expected her to push me off and probably punch me. Instead, she put one arm around me and hugged me back.

  "You better not think I'm going to go easy on you during training just because we shared this little moment." She pushed me back hard when I let her go and straightened her jacket.