by Baker, LJ
We all sat in silence for a minute, soaking in everything, trying to decide what our next move should be.
"Look," Janet started. "I know all this sounds bad, but I'm inclined to believe that we are safe here. I don't know what's going on down there, but honestly, we don't have any proof it's anything we need to worry about."
Will dropped his head. "I want to believe that's true, too."
I knew if they had seen what I did, their attitude would be different. Still, they were right. It could have been very different from how it looked out of context.
"Why don't we just ask them what's going on down there?" Hadley asked.
"Because, Hadley," Janet said, irritated. "If something sketchy is going on, that could be very dangerous."
I slid closer to Will and took his hand. I just wanted to blink my eyes and be back in my basement with him. No military base. No creepy lab experiments. No worrying about disappearing for asking the wrong questions.
"Not if you ask the right way, silly." Hadley stood up and brushed the grass off her dress. She turned and skipped down the hill.
"Hadley!" Janet called after her, but she just waved and continued down the hill. "Stupid girl." Janet got up and ran after her, leaving Will and me alone.
He pulled me up into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. "We'll get this all worked out. I promise. We just gotta stay cool in the meantime. And whatever you do, stay away from the north end of the compound."
"Don't worry about that. I have no intention of going back down there, for sure."
“Promise me, Andi.”
“I promise.”
Will looked over me as if he was trying to make sure I meant the words. After a moment, his face softened and his body relaxed. He nuzzled his face into the back of my neck and tickled me with his nose.
"So, did you miss me the last few days? Or were you too busy kicking ass, uncovering secret military plots, and hanging with your new bestie Hadley? Oh, wait, I forgot about your new boyfriend, Jack."
I elbowed him in the chest and pushed him off my neck. "I do love those older men."
"That's true. You like me, and I'm practically old enough to be your father."
"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. I usually go for grandfather age, minimum."
Will flipped me over onto my back in the grass and positioned himself over me, resting his weight on one arm.
"So, any more fights? Rumors are getting around. They say you beat that chick bloody."
"Seriously? It was one punch, but she did end up in the infirmary, so I guess I did an okay job." I smiled, just a little bit proud of myself.
He leaned in and kissed my nose. " You're turning into a real badass, I see. It's kinda hot."
“Oh, is it now?" I reached up and nipped his lip with my teeth.
"Mmm. Oh, it most certainly is."
Feeling Will this close made all the worry and fear of the day melt away. Being with him was all I ever wanted in the first place, and it didn't matter if we were here or back at the basement. Being together was the only thing that mattered. At least, that's what I told myself at that moment.
Will dipped down and kissed my lips, slow and soft, as if we had all the time in the world. As if everything around us wasn't crumbling, falling apart. He made me almost believe my mother's words, that someday, I could have a normal life again. It was so hard to believe that the rest of the time, but there, lying under him, kissing him, it felt so close.
"You wanna take a walk?" Will tumbled over onto the grass next to me.
I snorted. "Yeah, because that worked out so well for me earlier."
"Hm, true. I think there's a movie showing over in rec. You wanna go see what it is?"
"I don't know. I'm kinda tired and after today, I think I just want a little quiet time." I rolled over to Will and snuggled into his chest.
The grass was cool, and I could smell the earth beneath us. We laid there and watched the last bits of orange fade from the sky as night took over. I could have stayed there all night under the stars, cuddled against Will, letting the horrors of the day fade away.
"Okay, then what do you want to do?" He ran his hand over my shoulder, down my arm, and twined his fingers with mine.
I knew what he wanted to do, but I also knew he was waiting for me to say I was ready. Sometimes I thought I was. When he kissed me, everything inside screamed for more. My body wanted to shout yes from the rooftops, but my mind kept getting in the way.
Will lifted my chin to look up at him. "You know I love you, right?"
My stomach did a back flip hearing the words. I wondered if that would ever stop, and I hoped it wouldn't.
"Oh, I suppose so."
"You suppose so?" He grabbed me by my hips and flipped me on top of him. "That's not exactly the response I was going for, you know."
I sat up on top of him and let my knees sink into the ground on either side of him for support. "And what kind of response are you going for, now?"
I was feeling brave in that very public place. If we had been alone in our room, I wouldn't have risked teasing him like that.
"I know exactly what kind of response you're going to get if you keep this up."
I batted my eyelashes and tried to look overly innocent. "If I keep … what … up?"
Just as Will opened his mouth to answer, Derek came up the hill and cleared his throat loudly.
"Break it up, you two. Will, Lieutenant Burke wants to see you ASAP."
I flipped off Will, and my stomach sank. That probably meant he was going to be sent out again. I wanted to grab onto his leg like a child and beg him not to go. I wasn't sure what was going on around the base, but something was wrong, and I didn't want to be there alone. And, I didn't want him out there alone either. Too much could go wrong. There were too many opportunities to lose him forever.
Derek jogged down the hill, and Will stood to go.
"I'm sorry, babe. You want to meet me back at the room?"
I pushed myself off the ground and stood in front of him. "No."
"No?"
"No. I don't want you to go. You just got back. They can send someone else."
"Andi, you don't even know that's what he wants, but if he does, you know I have to go."
"Why? You haven't officially signed up for this position. Why can't you say no?"
"Because if I do want to officially sign up, I can't be telling the lieutenant I refuse to follow orders. Baby, I know this is hard for you, but this is our best chance for a decent life."
"You still believe that? Even after everything that's happened. Even after what I saw today?"
He slid his hand up along the side of my face. "Yes. I do. I know what you saw was scary, but we have to be logical. I’m not suggesting we just let this go, but maybe we should trust Janet and get more information before we jump to conclusions. There could have been a perfectly good explanation."
He could have been right, and part of me wanted to believe he was. The rest of me just wanted to have a reason to leave that place, to go back to simpler things, when Will and I were together every day.
"I really don't want you to go."
"I know." He brushed his thumb over my bottom lip and frowned. "Meet me back at the room?"
I nodded because at that point, arguing wasn't going to get me anywhere.
"Good." He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss before running off.
I wandered back in the direction of our building and noticed there was a lot of military presence. Even though our community was in a military base, and they did run things, their presence was usually minimal, except around borders and on the north end of the compound where the lab was located. Down in the residential areas, they were mostly seen off duty with their families or letting off steam.
That night was different, though. Soldiers outnumbered civilians, and they were armed. There was an almost frenzied buzz on the streets as people jogged from one place to another, everyone in a hurry. It gave me an uneasy f
eeling. I thought about finding Janet to see if she knew anything, but I figured she was probably busy with whatever was going on. Instead, I headed back to my room to wait for Will and what I was sure would be bad news.
By the time Will returned, it was late and I had started to doze off. I didn't open my eyes until he was sliding into bed next to me.
"What happened?" I yawned and rubbed my eyes.
"You left the door unlocked. You really shouldn't be doing that."
"Sorry. Now, tell me what happened.” I pulled myself up and switched on the lamp on the side of the bed.
"I only have a couple hours. There's a swarm on its way in, and they need a bunch of us to go out. We knew it would reach us eventually, we just didn't think so soon."
"What do you mean a swarm?" I was confused.
"Like a massive horde. On its way in from the city. We don't want it to get too close."
I imagined a few small groups of soldiers trying to fight off hundreds of flesh eaters. My stomach tightened up, and I wanted to puke. "You can't go."
"Andi, I have to. Everyone's safety depends on it. They are calling out everyone they can part with while still keeping the base covered. I don't have a choice."
"You have a choice. We can leave, right now. Just pack up and go." My heart started to race, and my fingers grew tingly and numb.
"Baby, I can't do that. There are a lot of people here counting on me. They need me."
"I need you." Fat, wet tears welled up in my eyes and made my vision blurry.
Will sighed and pulled me against his chest. "I'll be fine. We'll take care of the swarm, and I'll be back. Then we can talk about leaving or staying, but I have to help out. Whether we are here or not, that many flesh eaters together is a danger to us."
Tears streamed down my cheeks and wet the front of Will's shirt, which I gripped tight in my fists. I knew he wasn't going to change his mind, and I hated it.
Desperation rose up inside me, and all at once, I knew how bad the situation was. The last time he left, I was worried. It bubbled up and hid just behind my every thought. I worried that he might get hurt, have some sort of trouble out there, or even that he could be killed. But that time was different. I felt that something bad happening was almost certain.
“Please, Will.”
He lifted my chin and stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”
For some reason, that promise made everything worse. It was like the word itself ensured that nothing was going to be okay. That something horrible was about to happen, and all I could do was watch it unfold.
I pushed his hand away and tipped my head up to kiss him. His mouth was hot, his tongue wet, and it was intoxicating. All the fear and teenage reservations I had about taking our relationship to the next level melted away. Something deep inside me warned that it may very well have been the last opportunity, and I didn’t want to waste it.
I slid my hands up his chest and tugged at his shirt. His eyes widened and one corner of his mouth came up into a half smile.
“What are you doing?”
I tugged harder, but it refused to cooperate. “Trying to take this dumb shirt off.”
He tried to hold back a laugh, and failed. “Why are you trying to take off my shirt?”
“Why do you think?” I huffed. Amusement was not the reaction I was going for.
Will put his hands on top of mine and stopped me from releasing his shirt. “Andi …”
“Look, Will. I have a really bad feeling about this. You could die out there. What if I never see you again?”
He gave me a sweet smile and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “You’re going to see me again. And I don’t want you rushing into something because you’re afraid I’m going to die.”
“I’m not.”
Will sighed. “You are. Look, as much as it kills me to say this, I want to wait until I come back. I don’t want our first time to be while you are thinking it’s the last time you’re going to see me alive. I promise, I will be fine.”
Chapter Eight
Will insisted everything was going to be fine. Every time he said it, I believed it less. I wanted to make the most of our last night, but he insisted that having something to look forward to would help keep him alive. I hoped he was right.
I cried when he left, and even though I knew he’d deny it, there were tears in Will’s eyes as well. I just had to get through three or four days, he said. Then we’d be together again. He promised that if I still wanted to leave the military base then, we would go. Part of me actually did want to stay. I finally made a couple friends. Granted, those friends were an old man who thought big brother was out to get him and a young girl who believed she had some sort of psychic powers, but they were good friends, and I was grateful to have them. The food was regular and sleeping at night was safe. There was a lot to stay for. As I watched Will’s group drive through that gate, though, there was one very important reason to leave.
Janet tried to keep me busy the first few days, and I did my best to keep my mind off him. Nights were the worst. Nightmares of all the different ways Will might have died plagued me. I recounted them in detail to Jack, who alternated between giving me empathetic pats on the arm and laughing out loud at the insanity that I’d dreamed up.
Once a day, the groups sent word back on their progress. It was bad out there. Our people were having a hard time driving the flesh eaters back and making a noticeable dent in the undead population. The nearest big city was about sixty miles away and large groups of the infected usually hovered around those areas. They’d strayed though, and were on the move. Right in our direction. I understood why something needed to be done and even why Will felt he needed to help, but that didn’t mean I wanted him to be out there.
Hadley met me on the hill after my group session with Janet to see if I wanted to eat lunch with her. Food was the last thing on my mind, but I was grateful for the company.
“Today is four days since your Will has left. He will return today?” She handed me a container with steaming hot chili covered in shredded cheddar cheese. I’d stopped questioning how she managed to get such elaborate meals in a time where eating rabbit or snake was considered a decent meal.
I poked at the mixture with the plastic spork she handed me. The smell made my mouth water despite the fact that my brain had very little interest in actually taking a bite. “He said three or four days, but they are being overwhelmed out there. It will probably be a few more days, according to Derek.”
Hadley frowned. “I am sorry. I know that you miss him.”
“It’s not even that. I mean, sure, I miss him, but…”
“You are worried that he will die.”
Hearing the words out loud made it sound even worse than it did in my head. “Yes.”
Hadley pulled a small bag of tortilla chips from her satchel and spread them out on a cloth napkin between us. She took one into her small hand and used it to scoop some of the chili up and shoveled it into her mouth. It was the first time I saw her actually take more than a nibble of food at a time. “Mmm. This is most enjoyable. You should try some.”
I looked down at the food and my stomach growled in anticipation. “I will.”
“Andi, what will happen to you if Will does not return?” Hadley looked down. “I enjoy our friendship.”
What would happen to me if Will didn’t return? I hadn’t even considered that. Would I stay there without him? I’d spent plenty of time on my own and as much as it sucked, I knew I could manage. That was before, though. Before, when I believed that the only thing important in life was getting through one more day. Basic survival and nothing else. Since I’d met Will and Janet, my chances for survival had gone way up. I was much better trained, and had skills I never even knew I needed. There was so much more to life than I’d ever considered was possible since the madness started
I wanted it. All of it. And I wanted Will to be a part of it.
“
Hadley, I don’t know, but I want you to know how much your friendship has meant to me. You’re certainly a weird little duck, but I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Oh, me too. The last friend I had did not work out so well.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
She smiled and took a deep breath. “The people who lived next door to us had a housekeeper. Her name was Jennifer, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had short red hair and big blue eyes that were almost the exact shade as mine.” Hadley flipped her eyelashes up and down a few times.
“Every time she came to clean for them, she would bring me a present. Before she went in, she sat on the front porch with me and told me about her cats. She had three. She was very funny, but in a weird way. Kind of like me, but funnier.”
I tried to imagine Hadley with the young woman, laughing and being a normal kid. It wasn’t easy to picture.
“The Waltz’s, my neighbors, were not very nice to Jennifer. She said they did not pay her enough and that they treated her badly. That is not nice to do, you know.”
I couldn’t imagine having a housekeeper, but it seems like a job people should appreciate having done for them. “Yes, Hadley, you’re right. No one should be treated badly. Especially when they clean your toilet.”
She chuckled. “Yes, very true. She got them back though.”
“What do you mean?”
“The day of the outbreak I was late getting home from school. My mother was not home and the door was locked. I went over to the Waltz’s to get the spare key, but it was too late.”
“They were dead?” The outbreak didn’t get to the city I lived in for a few days, but I guessed Hadley had it worse.
“More than that.” Her eyes lit up and the corner of her mouth twisted into a strange smile. “Jennifer had Mrs. Waltz on the kitchen island and was eating her like Thanksgiving dinner. Mr. Waltz was on the floor in a bloody mess clutching his bible that he always read from. So I ran.”
I imagined Hadley, only fourteen at that time, walking in to find that horrific scene, not having any idea what was going on. I would have been traumatized by it, but Hadley, seemed to enjoy what she saw. It was the first time I had ever seen any evidence that the girl wasn’t as sweet and docile as she seemed on the surface.
