by Baker, LJ
Holden ran back over and the color drained from his face.
"Well? They have an ETA?"
"Should be any minute now, but …”
Something was wrong.
"Holden, don't tell me—"
"Look, they don't know. There was a problem. He got separated and …”
"And what?" Janet's voice was sharp. I could hear the panic just below the surface.
Holden looked at me and frowned. "I'm sorry."
I wasn’t even sure why we were there, and already it was bad news. How much worse could the day get?
A truck pulled up, and the gates rolled open to allow it entry. Janet ran for it and nearly ripped the driver's door open to get at the man inside. I stayed glued to my spot.
Janet screamed at the driver and punched his chest. "What do you mean he's gone? Why the hell did you leave without knowing for sure?"
My stomach dropped. There was only one person Janet would get so upset about. My legs grew weak under me, and Holden grabbed my arm to keep me from collapsing to the ground. It couldn't be true.
I wrapped my arms around myself and waited for Janet to come back over and tell me it wasn't Will she was talking about. It couldn't be him.
After she calmed down a bit and took a step back, the truck passed, and she slowly walked back to where Holden and I stood. I didn't ask her what was going on. If it meant something happened to Will, I didn't want to know.
"Andi …” Janet started.
I wanted to tell her to shut up, to keep it to herself. Will was fine. He'd be back soon. But my mouth refused to open.
"The guys ran into some trouble. Only two of them made it back. Will wasn't one of them." She nearly choked on the last sentence.
I stared at her, because that was all I could manage at that moment.
"Joe said they got split up. They found the other guys, but it was too late."
"Too late?"
A response wasn't actually needed. Everyone knew what that meant.
"They didn't find Will, though. He could still be alive." She put her hand on my arm, and a single tear fell down her cheek.
"He could be alive?" My arms and legs felt numb, like they were no longer part of my body. "We need to go look."
"The guys will do that. They're resupplying and grabbing a few more men and heading back out."
"What? No. We can go. Right now." My brain started to function again, and my limbs were suddenly back.
"Calm down. It's better if we let them handle this." She put her hands on my shoulders and held me still. "I'm worried too, but if we go running out there we'll get ourselves killed. It was a massive horde. You know what that's like. Do you think that's what Will would want?"
"If it were you or I out there, that's exactly what Will would do, and you know it."
"I'm sorry, but you're not going out there." She looked at Holden, who nodded at her. I knew there was no way they'd open the gate for me against Janet's wishes. I was officially a prisoner.
Chapter Ten
I sat on my bed and stared at the wall. I understood Janet’s reasoning for wanting to let the military handle the search. They were better equipped to be out there than two rogue girls whose emotions couldn’t be separated out. But what right did she have to tell me I couldn’t leave?
I got off the bed and paced back and forth over the small room. Janet could sit on her ass and do nothing if that was what she wanted, but why did that mean I had to as well? Everyone always had to listen to Janet. Even her trained puppets at the front gate would bow to her wishes and do as she said. She probably already spoke to the other guys along the perimeter about keeping me hostage.
At the very least, we could go with the search team to find him. Janet might not think I’m ready to go out on missions, but seriously, I could manage to be out with a trained search team. And surely she was capable of going out there. I couldn’t even imagine why she wouldn’t insist on going. She loved Will like a brother and did anything she could to keep him safe. Why wouldn’t she want to go look for him?
I sat back down on the bed and dropped my head into my hands. My heart thumped uncontrollably against my chest and the metal ring around my neck. My heart ached at the thought that Will could be dead. I just needed to know for sure. I needed proof. If I was the one who went missing, Will would do everything he could to find me, no matter how unlikely it was that I was still breathing.
I couldn’t just sit there and wait. I had to do something, even if that something was to hold on to the tiny shred of hope that he was still alive out there and needed help.
Or if that something was to find him and put him to rest for good.
There had to be a way to get out of the compound besides the front gate, and if anyone would know, it would be Jack. He used to patrol the borders of the base, so he should know if there were any vulnerable areas.
I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed for the infirmary. Just as I was walking up, Jack came hobbling out the door on crutches. Nurse Sue followed behind him, grumbling about him not being ready to leave.
“Hey, Jack. Going home already? I thought you had another day or two."
"That's what I keep telling him," Nurse Sue huffed.
"Ain't nothing I can do here that I can't do back in my own room. Quit hovering, woman. I'm fine." Jack swatted at her with his crutch, balancing on his one leg.
She took a step back to avoid being hit and snorted. "Talk some sense into him, Andi."
"Oh, I don't think anyone can make this old man do anything he doesn't wanna do. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him." I grabbed the bag of meds from Sue and patted her on the back. I was glad Jack was leaving. There was something odd about that nurse.
“Sorry, sweet cheeks, I got myself a new girl now." Jack turned and hobbled down the sidewalk.
"Which building you in?"
"The B building, right next to the dining hall. They like to keep us old farts close and on the ground level. Afraid we'll break a hip or something."
"Well, falling is a concern for you. You suck with crutches ya know?"
"Eh, that's just the pain meds Nurse Ratchet doped me up with trying to get me to stay. I'm a pro. You'll see."
"What pain meds? You weren't on pain meds a few days ago. Is something else wrong?"
"Nah. I'm as healthy as a horse." He pounded on his chest, which made him cough so hard he nearly lost his balance.
"Yeah, a horse that's ready for the glue farm." I rubbed my hand over his back to soothe him until he could breathe again.
I followed along with Jack into his building and down the hall to his room. There weren't a lot of older people on the base, but it seemed like they were all housed together. Several of them were gathered around the lobby of the building. They seemed happy to see Jack return. Seemed he made a good impression wherever he went. Not bad for the crotchety old bastard he tried to come off as.
"Welcome to paradise," he said, as he pushed the door open with one of his crutches to invite me in.
There wasn't much in Jack's room. A bed, dresser, chair, just like all the other rooms. There was a crate in the corner with a small lamp on top and a small framed photo of a young woman.
"Is that Sheila?" I pointed to the photo as I helped Jack into the chair.
"Nah. That's Denise. Met her husband, Joe, back in the beginning of all this. He lost his whole family. That photo was all he had on him when I found him. He begged me to take it so someone would remember her, or it was like she never existed."
"Why didn't he keep it himself?"
"Because I had a gun to his head and he knew I was about to use it."
I didn't need to ask anymore. I knew.
Silence hung in the air for several minutes, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
Jack kicked his shoe off and it landed a few feet away with a thud. "I heard your man is missing."
I sat down on the edge of Jack’s bed across from the chair he was in. "That's kind of what I wanted to talk
to you about. I can't just stay here and wait. It's driving me nuts."
"Nuts is probably a short road for you, ya know."
"I'm sure you're waiting at the end of it. Anyway, I need to get out of here. Janet's instructed the guards at the front gate not to open it for me. The bitch thinks we should just sit on our asses and wait, and I just can't do that."
"You want me to knock them over the head with my crutch so you can make a run for it?" Jack swung the crutch like a bat.
I rolled my eyes at the crazy old man. "If there was only one of them, maybe, but I don't think you can get them all."
"Too bad. I've been wanting to whack a few of those jackasses for awhile now. Whatcha need me to do, darlin’?”
"You know this place pretty well, right?"
"Like the back of my hand." He turned his hand over and looked at it. "Hmm, I never noticed that."
"Jack, please be serious for a minute. I need to know if there's another way I can get out of this place. Some way I won't be noticed."
"Aye, it's not impossible to escape, but let me ask you this, young warrior, what are you planning on doing once you get out there all on your own?"
I sighed. Truth was, I didn't have a plan.
"Yep, that's what I thought. You can't just run off half-assed without a plan. You'll get yourself killed. Why are you so against letting the soldiers search for him?"
"They are the ones who left him out there." I stood up and walked over to the small window to stare out.
"Sweetheart, I know it hurts, but rushing out there by yourself isn't going to help your man."
He was right, I knew he was, but I couldn't just sit there and do nothing. Tears fell down my cheeks. "I don't know what else to do."
Jack pulled himself back up on his crutches and hobbled over to the window. He slipped his arm around me and pulled me against him. "If I could go out there with you, I would."
"I know you would, Jack. You're a good friend, for a crabby old man with one leg, anyway." I wiped my tears on my sleeve, grateful to have Jack for a friend.
When Jack started to yawn, I left him to get some rest. I still wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I did know I needed a plan. My brain started going through all the things I learned, both from my father, and from my training at the military base.
I was on my way back to the D building, where my room was located, when Janet caught up with me, out of breath and looking worried.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you." She leaned over with her hands resting on her thighs and tried to catch her breath.
"I was with Jack. What's the crisis?" I wasn't really interested in whatever she had to say. Unless she was going to tell me Will was back, or that we were going to go find him, I didn't give a shit.
"I just got word from Bear that the search team was denied. They aren't going to go look for Will. They're sending three more teams out to finish off the last of the swarm, but that's it. The General doesn't want to risk the men for 'one person who is likely zombie chow,’ as he put it."
"That's just great. These are some awesome people you give your loyalty to, Janet." It wasn't her fault, but I wanted to punch her in the face anyway. I wanted to knock her to the ground, climb on top of her, and pummel her face until it was raw and bloody.
"I'm sorry. I thought they would look for him. I really did."
"So what, that's it? Are we supposed to just forget about him and move on with our lives now?"
"Of course not. That's why I've been looking for you. Look, I still think it would be better to let a legit search team go look for him, but if you really wanna do this, I’m in. Derek said he'd come, too."
“Why the change of heart?”
Janet sighed. “You know I love Will. He’s always been like a little brother to me, and the thought of anything happening to him tears me up inside. I get wanting to rush off and look for him, but you don’t know everything, either.”
She still thought of me as an incapable, little child. “Oh? What is it I don’t know this time?”
“He made me promise, Andi.”
My patience was wearing thin, and it was all I could do not to yell at her. “What are you talking about?”
“Before he left … Will made me promise to keep you safe … if he didn’t come back.”
Great, so even he didn’t think he was going to survive this mission.
Janet put her hand on my arm and lowered her voice. “I’m sorry. The best way I know how to keep that promise is to keep you here. You’re safer here than out there, but if you really want to go, we can. I can’t have you running off half-assed by yourself though.”
“You know there was no way you were going to keep me from going, right?”
Janet nodded and looked away. "We leave in the morning. Get some sleep."
I thought for sure I wouldn't sleep, that I'd be up all night worrying about Will and going back out there. Instead, I was out cold as soon as my head hit the pillow. Just knowing that we were going to do something, rather than sit on our asses and take orders from some asshole who didn't give a shit about Will, gave me comfort. It was probably a good thing too, since I didn't know how long we'd be out looking, and there would be no such thing as a good night's sleep outside the safety of the military base.
By the time I woke up, the sun was peeking over the horizon, and Janet was banging on my door. I jumped off the bed and pulled it open, confused.
Janet pushed past me into the room and dropped her bag on the floor with a thud. "Were you actually sleeping?"
"Uh, yeah. Isn't that what people normally do at night?"
She shook her head and looked over me. "I didn't figure you'd get much. You packed and ready to go then?"
I glanced around the room at the meager belongings. Not much of it actually mattered. I shoved the few things I wanted in my bag the night before. I had no idea how long it would take to find Will or if I'd even be coming back to the base, so anything important was going with me.
"Yeah. I'm ready."
Janet waited while I threw on some clothes and my favorite sneakers, and we headed out the door. The base was quiet. No one was up, except maybe the food prep workers, and it was easy to forget what was going on in the world at that early hour.
"Derek is going to meet us at the front gate." Janet walked a little slower than usual, staying in pace with me.
"Does the General know we're leaving?" I wasn't sure how he was going to feel about it after he denied the rescue team.
"Yes, he knows and he isn't thrilled with it, but he won't try to stop us."
"Do we know where to even look for him? Do you have some sort of plan?"
"Sort of, but I have no frigging idea how we are going to find him. You were right, though. We have to try. Derek knows the general location where he was last seen, but there's no way of knowing if he is anywhere near that area or not. I guess we can start there and decide where to go after that."
I figured Janet would have more of a plan than that. She always seemed to have all the answers.
She looked at me and snorted. "I'm guessing you didn't have any sort of plan."
"No, but I would have come up with something. I couldn't just sit around and wait. I was planning on finding a way out of here on my own. I was going to go, with or without your help or permission."
"Of course you were." She laughed, and it echoed through the cool air. "I had no doubt you would find a way to do something stupid on your own. You aren't difficult to predict."
“Wel,l you certainly are. I never thought in a million years that you would step back and wait for someone's permission to help Will." I was holding a grudge. It was childish, but I couldn't help it.
"You're right. It's so easy to get comfortable here and wait for someone else to take responsibility to make everything okay. You might be a pain in the ass who can't stop from jumping into the fire without thinking about the flames, but you are right."
I was right and Jan
et was wrong. I didn't think I'd ever hear those words again. I smiled to myself and savored the thought a moment.
"Hurry up, Derek's waiting. And quit smiling like an idiot." She punched me in the arm and picked up her pace.
Derek was standing at the gate talking to Holden. He had a backpack almost as big as me on the ground by his feet. I glanced over my shoulder at my puny bag. Everything I owned wouldn't fill half Derek's bag. Well, unless I counted my stuff back at my old house.
"About time you girls showed up. I was thinking about sending out a rescue party to find the rescue party." Derek picked up his giant pack and slung it over his massive shoulder. I thought the guy could carry Janet and me on his back and not even break a sweat.
"Ha ha, very funny asshat. You better get used to it now. Andi's toddler legs don't move very fast." Janet pulled out a map, and her and Derek went over the route we'd be taking.
"I wish I could go with you. Will is a great guy." Holden kicked a rock on the ground and leaned against the guard shed.
"He's never mentioned you. How do you guys know each other?"
"We actually grew up together, long before the whole zombie thing. He was one of my best friends."
"Oh. He hasn't told me much about his life before. He's talked about his family but not too much about friends or what was going on in his life."
"Yeah, that's how he is. He likes to keep everything bottled up inside." He met my eyes and smiled. "He's told me a lot about you, though."
"Oh? What has he told you?"
Holden laughed. "Uh … well … the usual stuff, I guess."
"If you're done socializing, we're ready to go, Princess," Janet called over as she waved the folded map at me.
Janet's bitchiness didn't even bother me anymore. It was part of her charm. She was becoming like the big sister I never had. I still wanted to punch her in the throat half the time, but I couldn't deny that I loved the bitch like family.
“Coming, Mother." I patted Holden on the arm and jogged over to Janet and Derek.
