Animal Heart (Beast & Beauty)

by M, Jessie

  “Maddy. Accept it. It's real and it's happening. Look, I'm sending Sammy to sit with you. You shouldn't be alone right now and I don't think I should be the one in here with you.” He hugged her close and nuzzled her cheek, but she pushed him away, growling and snarling in disgust at the person responsible for this horrific torment.

  What the fuck has he done to me? It's all his fault. Whatever it is. I'll never forgive him for this, never!

  He didn't try to console her or attempt to touch her again.

  Perhaps he knew better.

  He left quickly and quietly and she lay down, gripping her bedclothes tightly in between her fingers for comfort, and began to sob. Harsh howls and snarling sobs, the sound of which she'd never heard leave her lips before. Her mind swam with highly disturbing thoughts of massive teeth and fur and stretching flesh, as she lay upon her bed.

  A minute or two later a soft hand tapped her shoulder, breaking the rhythm of her sobbing self indulgence for a second. She turned her head and looked up at Samantha's kind face, smiling down at her. She sat down on the bed at her side, one leg hooked over the other.

  “Hey, come on. It's not that bad. In fact I love it. You will too, eventually,” she said reassuringly, with a little giggle and a pat of encouragement on her back.

  “Narrrrrghhh,” she growled, trying to say a snuffling, I don't think so!

  “Look, you won't be able to talk right now. You've got a touch of a snout forming. Just nod or shake your head, okay?”

  “Are you in pain?” She shook her head for no.

  “Is your face hot and stinging?” She nodded.

  “You're quite normal. It'll pass. Think of ice. It works for me. Lots of freezing cold ice.”

  Maddy concentrated on thinking about ice, in her mouth and in her hands, and sure enough, her hand started to change back to a human shape. Her nails began sinking back into her finger tips with a squeezing sensation, and the wiry hairs disappearing into her skin, tickling and itching, as if they were being reeled in from the inside. She watched in amazement as everything returned to normal. Human normal. She continued to think cold thoughts and her ears started to burn and tug tightly inwards towards the side of her head. She touched them and breathed a sigh of relief that they had returned to their usual small and dainty shell-like shapes. Icy thoughts occupied her mind on and off, as she felt warmth and tingling starting in various areas of her body. She sat up and listened to Samantha who chatted to her constantly about how she became a werewolf and what had happened to her afterwards.

  Maddy was caught in rapt attention as Sammy regaled her experience of being set upon by a gang of three wild girls in Vancouver as she was waiting for a cab home one evening after a night out with her friends. They'd mugged her, stole her purse and phone, and one had bit her, seemingly just for the fun of it. Then she'd been left alone to deal with it all. She'd left her home town straight away, fearful for her friends and family. She took a long time coming to terms with it and lived rough in the mountains all summer, travelling east until she'd been discovered in Heart, literally as she was passing through, stopping for a coffee at Betty's diner. It was fate, she said. Fate had delivered her here, to the Carr pack, and she was so grateful to have found them all and loved them dearly.

  She didn't know why, but Maddy believed her tale completely. Why she hadn't believed anything Shane and Aden told her, she couldn't say. It must have been the initial shock, she supposed. Samantha put out her hand and held hers for a moment, giving it a little squeeze of affection.

  “Watch me...” She bent her head, furrowed her brow and then looked up. Maddy took in her amber glowing eyes. Exactly the same color as she'd seen in her own face just before she'd been sick.

  “How do you do that, on demand?”

  “I bring her out, my wolf, by thinking of her. I only have to concentrate for a short time and then it all takes on a life of its own. Of course I can stop it, by thinking cold. That's how I change back again. It's slightly different for everyone. You'll come upon your own way of doing this, you'll see. The eyes are always the first to change, and the last to change back. The body transformation can be uncomfortable, but I don't have a problem with that personally. Just go with the flow, I say. Relax, don't fight it. Your body knows what it's doing, so let it do it. It's a bit of a rush actually, makes you feel really horny afterwards!!” She laughed at this revelation and Maddy joined in even though she wasn't really feeling in the mood. Sammy's laugh was infectious.

  “I'm having so much trouble with all of this,” she said honestly, sighing deeply, mostly out of fear of the unknown.

  “Well heck, you wouldn't be sane if you didn't,” she pointed out.

  “But how can it be? Werewolves are flights of fantasy. Fictional beings. That's all.”

  “Look it just is. I don't know why and to be honest I don't care. Have you ever wondered why you were a human before? No, of course not, you just were. Right now you need to prepare for your new life. You can't go back to your old one. You realise that, don't you?”

  “I must admit I haven't thought about that. I've had severe body issues to contend with.”

  “You'll have to stay here. With us. You need secrecy, security, and the protection Aden provides.”

  “But why? If it's easily controllable.”

  “It's not that easy at all Maddy. You haven't embraced it fully yet. We all feel different about life. We're animals at heart and you ought to know that at full moon we all go completely, fucking crazy. And for a day or two beforehand the changes almost force themselves upon us.”

  “What do you mean? In what way do you go crazy?”

  “We want to kill everything. Anything we love or hate and everything in between. Probably each other given the chance. We don't know a thing about doing it. Aden locks us all up in a place just outside town. We have a yard there, with a container for each of us, and timed locks. We go in at sunset in the evening, and come out at dawn the next morning, whatever times they are, I don't know, Aden manages it all for us. You'll never remember what you've done while you're in there. Although it won't be much, because there's nothing to do except to try to escape and that's not possible, thank God!”

  “No... I don't believe it, really? Rip 'em to shreds killer werewolves, like in the movies?” she whispered with unbelieving, widening eyes.

  “Afraid so honey... But apart from that minor inconvenience, life is okay. It's only once a month, for three nights, anyhow. You'll get used to it. But don't worry about that for now. For the next couple of days you've got some thinking to do, while you're still technically on vacation... You should think what you are going to tell your family and friends. There's no need to cut yourself off from them entirely, you can still visit, but you need to base yourself here.”

  “Oh my God... This can't be happening to me. Damn, shit, and fuck!” She hung her head in desperate realisation.

  “Well it is. So pick up the challenge and get on with it. And you have to admit, it's better than dying, which was the only other alternative you had, hmmm? That, or at best being paralysed for life. Aden doesn't turn people for the sake of it. There needs to be a really good reason, Maddy.” She smiled a big white smile and touched her arm comfortingly. “Come on… Let's get Shane to brew us a hot cappuccino with that Gaggia monster of his. It frightens me to be honest, all that hissing steam blasting everywhere. And d'you know what? I fancy a shot of brandy in it today. How does that sound, eh?”

  “It sounds great... and I'm starving as well. Is food allowed between meals here, or is it like the dog pound?” Maddy had finally recovered enough to regain her sense of humor.

  “Ha ha, yeah it's the werewolf jail... Of course you can eat between meals, you daft thing. We have some divine chocolate cookies and tons of other stuff you can munch. Let's go and raid the fridge trainee wolf-girl. And like I said, don't worry. 'Lil old Sammy'll show you the ropes in no time at all.”

  Maddy followed Samantha into the kitchen, thinking deeply an
d absorbing the facts about her new changed state of being.

  She sat for a little while with the two of them, drinking coffee and eating a few leftovers from the fridge as they explained a little more about themselves and the pack. It was all falling into place now. The strange looking wolves she had seen running across the paddock early that first morning were in fact werewolves. They hunted wild animals for food, because they were a pack of wolves and loved to hunt. And the women here were all she-wolves, three of whom were openly for vying for Aden's attention, because he was the alpha. To be an alpha's mate was a privilege, obviously. A privilege worth fighting for. And women could be complete bitches fighting over men. Why he hadn't committed himself to one of them, after all this time, was a mystery to her. The women seemed determined to continue the fight in any case, judging by how her presence, and his interest in her, had riled the three of them up. She was quite worried about this. She'd need to watch her back at all times.

  It was clear to her that Aden wanted her, as she wanted him. But in what way? As another bed warmer or was it going to be more than that? She knew he was commitment shy so why should she be any different? And competing with the other women, constantly trying to get his attention didn't appeal at all.

  She stopped trying to second guess his motives. She'd test him out for a while, until she knew him better and found out more information about his intentions.

  She didn't even know her own feelings yet. But in truth, he intrigued her. She was already more than interested and impressed by him, despite his shortcomings. He was, in fact, her hero and she was realising this fact quite clearly now. If it wasn't for him she'd be dead. And life was so precious. Even life as a werewolf.

  Daylight was almost gone by the time Aden and Mia had returned from their long ride. Storm had been upset by the events of the day, and he felt he needed a good, and hopefully uneventful, run out, simply to clear his head. He'd taken six of the horses and Mia the other six and his dogs had come along too, as they so often did. They had all enjoyed their peaceful trip 'round the lake and were now more than ready for their dinner. As they worked in the stable afterwards, and he stood brushing Sky's coat, he wondered how Maddy was doing right now. Not that she hadn't crossed his mind more than a few times this afternoon. In fact she was all he thought about lately. His heart hurt so much for her right now. The huge changes she faced in her life and the fears she would undoubtedly be experiencing about what she had become.

  He knew it'd be hard. But hadn't it been that way for them all at some point? She was lucky she had eleven other werewolves around to help her through it. He hadn't. Nor had quite a few of the others. They'd come to terms with it all alone. Scared almost out of their wits for some time afterwards, learning how to cope with the difficulties of their transformation, and dealing with the dreaded full moons and all that that entailed.

  He hoped Sammy had been able to make her realise how lucky she was. He'd instinctively known that another female, one she liked, and you couldn't not like Sammy, would be able to help her cope with it all so much better than he could.

  Because he knew she'd think he'd had another agenda.

  A reason to keep her there. Another female for him to play with.

  He had to get her past that way of thinking. That hadn't been his motive at all. It hadn't even crossed his mind for a split second. He'd wanted to save her life. Pure and simple. Although in hindsight her accident was a very fortuitous event, he had to admit. He smiled inside and outside with happiness and a sense of joy that she belonged to them now.

  She wasn't his yet. But she would be, and very soon.

  He still needed to explain to all the others. Maddy joining their pack was known only by Shane, Sammy, and himself at present. He'd kept it quiet deliberately, sending most of his pack out that morning to check the ranch boundaries and fences, so Maddy had the place to herself. He wasn't looking forward to announcing this little bit of news. It was like waiting to press the red button and launch a nuclear missile.

  But it needed to be done and someone had to do it. He was their leader and sometimes he had to do things he didn't like or want to do. He never shied away from his responsibilities, ever. Besides, as soon as they saw her they would know.

  It was like a neon sign pasted across their foreheads.

  'Werewolf within...'

  But only visible to another of their kind. It was the look in their eyes, the set of their shoulders, the tilt of their ears and a dozen other subtle signs. He could see one a mile off.

  His thoughts rolled back to their heated kiss. He wanted another like that so desperately and a lot more besides. His cock hardened at the memory of her taught little ass in his hands. Her warm lips and her eager tongue. How he looked forward to exploring her body. To play with her long red hair, to kiss her lips over and over until she whimpered with wanting him, and most of all to taste the sweet wetness between her legs. He'd caught the scent before, her rapid flood of arousal, and it had almost driven him wild.

  He needed her so, so badly. He would beg at her feet for the honor of having her. He'd lick her boots for one more kiss if he wasn't who he was. But he couldn't ever do that. He had a role to play and a position in life. A tough image to maintain.

  In any case, his physical needs would have to wait, however desperate he felt. He wanted to give her time to get to know him better, because for once in his life, her feelings mattered more to him than his own did. He was done playing around with the women in the pack. He wanted Maddy, and that was that. Why he felt so strongly, he had no idea at all. He didn't even know her either. It was animal intuition, he reasoned. He just knew, and he felt she just knew too, that they were meant to be.

  Mia left him to finish the last stall, and finally content all was in order, he closed the stable gate for the day.

  And what a fucker of a day it had been. He could never have imagined it.

  He sighed heavily as he made his way inside to clean up and scrub his nails obsessively, as he always did, before his meal.

  They all sat around the dinner table. Now that there were no guests, they could all just about squash onto one. He'd asked Shane and Sammy to join them for a minute, and to play up their surprise when he made his announcement.

  “So, what's up? And where's our favorite guest? Lucas asked, once they were all present.

  “She'll be here shortly, but I want to speak to you beforehand,” Aden replied. He took a deep breath, scanning the sea of expectant eyes focused on him, and dived in. “Unfortunately, Maddy had a terrible accident today. Early this morning...” he began.

  Lucas interrupted him with a look of deep concern. “What kind of accident? Is she okay?”

  “Yes. She is now. But at the time she wasn't in a good way at all. In fact, it was a life or death situation.” He looked around at their curious and surprised faces and dropped his bombshell. “And I chose life for her.”

  “You did what?” Mia spat out, her eyes wide and flaring bright orange as his meaning became clear. She drew her mouth into a nasty snarl. “No! Tell me you don't mean what I think you do...” He tried to ignore her hostile reaction and continued.

  “I realise this might not be a popular decision for all of you. But you'll have to deal with it in your own way, because she's one of us now. She's here for good. This is her home as well as yours,” he announced, reinforcing his authority with a stern tone of voice.

  “Well I think she's lovely. It's brilliant news, and I for one am very happy about it, Aden. It'll even up the numbers of men and women as well. How exciting! Go and fetch her now,” Samantha said impatiently, with a generous smile, play-acting so well that Aden could have kissed her he was so pleased with her performance.

  “I will, in just a moment.”

  “I agree entirely,” Shane added. “She's a great addition to our family and pretty cute too.” Samantha dug him in the ribs with her elbow playfully.

  “You did this deliberately, to keep her around didn't you?” Mia carrie
d on, with another shot of venom in her voice and eyes.

  “I'm sure that's what you'd like to believe Mia. But no, I didn't. I was thinking of her first. I was convinced, given the choice, she wouldn't have wanted to die this morning. I made sure she didn't.”

  “Excuse me, Mr High and Mighty, but aren't we all supposed to be present when someone is turned, like Charlene was? And how did you know it was life or death anyhow? Since when have you been a doctor?” She added with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

  “As with Charlene's case, it didn't take much medical knowledge, I can assure you. Maddy'll tell you all how serious it was herself, if you ask her. She broke her neck, ankle, and had a bad head injury which was bleeding heavily. Her pulse and heartbeat were fading. If I hadn't found her when I had, I don't think she'd have made it,” he explained with a grave look on his rugged face as he looked across at everyone. “She took Storm out alone, against my wishes, and found the eagles' nest. I think he got spooked and threw her, but I don't know the full story yet.”

  “You should have him put down, that horse is a damn menace,” Mia said spitefully, obviously wanting to hurt him, deeply. She knew he had a great affection for Storm. He kept calm. He wasn't going to let Mia's bitchiness rile him up. He had better things to occupy his mind with.

  “It wasn't his fault. She shouldn't have sneaked him out like that. Anyway, what's done is done. She did it. She was hurt, directly or indirectly by ignoring me, and I did what I had to do. Despite all that, I expect you all to welcome her and help her adjust. Spend some time talking to her, pleasantly, no matter what your feelings are.”

  “Oh, does that apply to me as well? I didn't imagine I'd get a look in,” Lucas said with more than a hint of sarcasm.

  “Don't start again, please!” Aden said, rubbing his brow with vexation.

  “Don't start? You've got a nerve. I believe I was there first.”