Black Box Inc.

by Jake Bible

  “I think I’ll kill you,” I said as I started to work the Dim.

  I was hungry, my guts hurt like I’d been constipated for ten years, and I was exhausted, but goddamn I was gonna smack the shit out the Fae asshole.

  The temperature in the room dropped by a few degrees as I produced two Dim rods.

  “Chase. Dude,” Lassa said.

  “Put them away, Chase,” Harper said.

  “Yes, please put them away,” Teresa said. “Now. Mr. Lawter. I will not ask again.”

  “Better do what the banshee says, defiler,” Aspen said.

  I came close to going at him, but Lassa was close enough that he put a hand on my shoulder and stopped me right where I was.

  “Chase,” he said quietly.

  “Fine,” I said. “Fine!” I shook my hands, and the Dim rods disappeared. “There. Gone.”

  “Excellent choice,” Teresa said. She clasped her hands and looked at Aspen. “If she will not come here, then we’ll have to go to the faerie dimension and speak with her, of course. Which I assume was the true reason you took Ms. Kyles’ call. Is that true, Mr. Littlestick?”

  Aspen actually looked uncomfortable, but I broke in before he could say anything else.

  “Whoa! Go where, say what now?” I said. “Can we get back to the going to the faerie dimension part? Not cool with that.”

  “Nor am I,” Sharon said.

  “Sweet,” Lassa said.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “Faeries can be fun, dude,” Lassa said, then scratched his chin. “But, now isn’t the time for fun.”

  “Ya think?”

  Harper glared at Aspen.

  “How’d it go wrong?” Harper asked the faerie.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” Aspen mocked.

  “Yes, you do, Littlestick,” Harper said. “The Chase changeling was supposed to throw me off, then double back and grab him, am I right?”

  “Maybe.”

  “And the Iris changeling was supposed to put away the real Iris where no one could find her, then take over her life so no one raised an alarm,” Harper continued. “We’d miss Chase, but even if we reported it, he is unique. Chase going missing was bound to happen at some point in the authorities’ eyes.”

  “And you all live such dangerous lives, so they wouldn’t knock themselves out looking.” Aspen was dripping with confidence.

  “But the Iris changeling is dead. Tossed in a dumpster,” I said, taking up the thread. “That part went way wrong. So did taking me, obviously. How the hell do I know you actually have Iris?”

  “Oh, I know exactly where she is,” Aspen said.

  “Because you had to come here and clean up the changelings’ mess,” I said. “But that still doesn’t explain the blood—”

  “Something sent you back to the faerie dimension and you knew I’d end up calling,” Harper said. “Teresa is right. You wanted this face-to-face.”

  “Did I? I can’t say for sure,” Aspen replied, all smug as shit. “But I suppose now I get the whole Black Box Inc. team instead of only the defiler of dimensions. More bang for our kidnapping buck. Now you all get to take a trip to my beautiful dimension. You are welcome.”

  “No one is thanking you. But I will have arrangements made,” Teresa said. “It’ll take a day to get the proper travel documents in order, but we should be able to leave by tomorrow morning.”

  “Tell me you’re kidding,” I said.

  “That’s not much time to put affairs in order with the business,” Sharon said.

  “Don’t worry yourself about Black Box Inc.’s operations,” Teresa said. “You’ll be staying here, Ms. Spaglioni. I’ll have Flip assist you with day-to-day operations while your colleagues are gone. He’s excellent at handling client relations and can ward off any angry calls you get for jobs that end up behind due to these unfortunate circumstances.”

  “Go where, do what now?” Flip asked.

  “I like this guy,” I said, hooking a thumb at Flip. “Seriously. Flip? You ever want to leave the world of banshee law, you let me know.”

  “Banshee law? It’s just the law, Mr. Lawter,” Teresa said.

  “Chase, we do not have the cash flow right now to make any new hires,” Sharon said. “And I am not so sure how I feel about a stranger having access to our confidential client files.”

  Sharon was wringing her hands so much I thought she’d slough off all her dead skin.

  “Shar. Chill, it’s all good,” I said. “I was kidding about hiring Flip.”

  “You were? Oh, yes, of course,” Flip said.

  “We’ll need weapons,” Harper said. “Magic weapons. I have some, but not enough to take on the Fae.”

  “No one will be taking on anyone,” Teresa responded. She stood and stretched. “This is not an assault. This is a meeting, pure and simple. We do not want to fight, we want to talk.”

  “You ever been to the faerie dimension?” Harper asked.

  “I’m a banshee,” Teresa said. “That’s like asking someone from New York if they’ve ever been to Jersey.”

  “Your dimension is New York, right?” I asked. “The faerie dimension is Jersey?”

  “It was an analogy, not a judgment,” Teresa said and nodded at Aspen. “You understand.”

  “Completely,” Aspen replied. “Banshees and faeries have been neighbors forever. Our homes are what, two dimensions apart?”

  “Yes,” Teresa said. She pulled her phone from her sweatpants pocket and began texting furiously.

  “Weapons or we don’t go,” Harper said. “There is a reason I’m in charge of security and protection for our company. I don’t compromise on either of those things.”

  “Please,” Aspen said. “Bring all the weapons. You’ll need them.”

  “We’ll see,” Teresa said. “I am not committing my clients to this extortion plan of yours until I understand all aspects.”

  “Oh, they’ll be committed,” Aspen said and smiled at Harper. “Bring the weapons.”

  “My turn. Transportation?” Lassa asked. “How are we getting there?”

  “Company limo, of course,” Teresa said. “With Mr. Lawter’s assistance. It is quite remarkable what he can do. I’m surprised Black Box Inc.’s bottom line isn’t quadruple what it is.”

  “I’m only one man,” I said. “I can only do so much.”

  “Then charge more,” Teresa said as if I were a total moron.

  “I do not think this is the time nor place to discuss our business strategy,” Sharon said, obviously offended at the inference that her managerial skills weren’t top notch. “But we have considered branching out. I would like to set up an appointment to discuss legal ramifications of large transport operations across extradimensional jurisdictions.”

  “Yes, of course,” Teresa said as she moved to the door. “Another time. I advise you all get some rest. Sleep in. We can get back to work around lunchtime.”

  Aspen raised his hand. “Am I done here?”

  “I still have some questions for you,” I said.

  “We’re done with him,” Harper snapped. “We’ve got the answers we need. Anything else he tells us will be designed to confuse the situation.”

  “I agree with Ms. Kyles,” Teresa said. “Return him to his dimension.”

  “I want my pants back first,” Harper said, then paused. “No. Never mind. Keep them.”

  “I will have someone bring you new pants, Ms. Kyles,” Teresa said.

  “Okay, we’ve sorted the pants situation,” Aspen said. “Can I leave now?”

  “Yes,” Teresa said. “You are officially released. However, per the Do No Harm clause in the contract you signed, you must leave immediately and cannot sabotage our proposed trip to
your dimension nor engage in any plans for others to commit sabotage. Do you understand?”

  “I do,” Aspen said. The corners of his mouth twitched.

  “Mr. Littlestick? Even though you are not my client, I will give you some advice: do not mess with me,” Teresa said. “What you signed is, and always will be, binding until all of this business with Mr. Lawter and Black Box Inc. is concluded. Are we clear?”

  “Like Crystal Pepsi,” Aspen said. “Another one of our inventions, I might add.”

  “Shut up and get out,” Harper said.

  “Yeah, gonna need an assist on that,” Aspen replied, his mouth twitching, then turning into a full-blown smirk. “Your blood brought me, your blood has to send me back.”

  “Walk,” Harper said.

  “That could take centuries,” Aspen said. He turned up the smirk. “You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”

  “Walk,” Harper said and began to reach for one of her blades.

  “Eh hem,” Teresa said from the doorway. “We will arrange your return, Mr. Littlestick. That way we know for certain you are going home and not staying in this dimension to cause trouble.”

  “Moi?” Aspen replied. He winked at Harper. “See ya later, babe. That’s a promise.”

  Lassa was up and holding Harper back as Aspen followed Teresa out of the suite.

  “Not worth it,” Lassa said.

  The door closed, and Sharon started looking everywhere at once. “Mr. Flip? Where did he get off to? Oh, Mr. Flip! We must talk this instant!”

  “I’m in the kitchen,” Flip called out.

  Sharon hurried that way and was already giving orders and directions about day-to-day operations and open client accounts before she reached the doorway. She got over her client confidentiality clause. I’d wager she was going to stay as busy as possible over the next few days to keep her mind off what we were about to try to do.

  “You good?” I asked as I turned to face a still-restrained Harper. “Harp? Can you keep your cool?”

  “No,” Harper said.

  “Was that a no to you not being good or a no to you not keeping your cool? Because you were good for a while there. Now you’re all whacko. Can you chill?”

  “Yes,” she said and yanked free of Lassa, which was not an easy thing to do.

  “Come on, Harper. That’s not chill,” Lassa said.

  He sat down and stared up at Harper. I stared at her, as well. She grumbled for a couple seconds, then started to pace like a caged cat. I stood there and watched her, my palms itching. My instinct said to bring the Dim, but it was Harper. Which was weird. Not gonna bring the Dim against Harper.

  “Transportation isn’t a problem,” Lassa said as he watched Harper move back and forth. “Teresa’s limos are already outfitted for extradimensional travel. You’ll need to protect it from here to the portal. That is, if you have the energy to handle a Dim box that size.”

  “Do I need to?” I asked. “Gonna be damn exhausting.”

  “It’s a short drive, but we don’t know what to expect. I’d rather the limo was wrapped up nice and safe from here to there. Maybe Beelzebub already knows things didn’t work out with the hit. He could send someone else for your ass. Harper? Back me up.”

  “Yeah,” Harper snapped. “Wrap the limo in Dim. More secure that way.”

  “Fine, I can do that,” I said and yawned. “But Teresa was right, we all need our sleep.” I lifted my chin and turned my head toward the kitchen. “Flip!”

  “Yes, sir?” Flip asked as he came out of the kitchen with Sharon right behind him, still jabbering about Black Box Inc. operations.

  “I will need a lot of food when I wake up,” I said. “Plus some provisions for the road.”

  “Road snacks!” Lassa said. “I love road snacks.”

  “I will have arrangements made,” Flip said. He turned and hurried back into the kitchen. Sharon didn’t even pause in her recitation of company rules and regulations.

  “Excellent. Road snacks,” Lassa said. “I’ll do a once-over on the vehicle before we go, but like I said, it should be shipshape. I’ll call my truck guy in the morning to haul us to the portal. That all for tonight?”

  “That’s all I can think of,” I said. “Harper?”

  “I’m bringing weapons,” Harper said. “All that I can carry.”

  “No,” I said. “Not that many. I know how deep those pockets are.”

  She had quite a few outfits with hexed pockets. I’ve seen her carry half an army’s worth of firearms before without breaking a sweat.

  “What’s your most powerful magic item?” Lassa asked.

  “Powerful or destructive?” Harper asked.

  “Powerful. We don’t want to destroy a dimension,” Lassa said. “The goblin sickle maybe?”

  “No,” Harper said and grinned. “My .500 S&W Magnum.”

  “A pistol?” I replied.

  “A hand cannon,” Lassa said. “Doesn’t matter because everyone knows gunpowder doesn’t work in the faerie dimension.”

  “I have a way around that,” Harper said. “This isn’t my first rodeo.”

  “Are you gonna be okay with going back to the faerie dimension?” I asked her.

  Harper nodded.

  “That isn’t very reassuring,” I said.

  “What fucking choice do I have?” she snapped.

  “You always have a choice,” I said. “You don’t work for me, we work together. Black Box Inc. is all of ours. I can’t order you to do shit, Harp. You have to go of your own free will. I can’t drag you along.”

  “You’re only saying that because a reluctant passenger is a drain on your energy,” Harper said. “You don’t want me to be an anchor.”

  “Exactly,” I said. “Also because you’re one of my closest friends and to hell with all this bullshit. If this is hurting you, then we all stay. Teresa can negotiate something.”

  “Yeah,” Lassa said. “You need to stay, then we stay, Harp.”

  She sat there in thought. We left her alone until she stirred and looked each of us in the eye.

  “No. Daphne will not let Chase out of this,” Harper said. “Our only choice is to go and let Teresa negotiate the best terms so we all get to keep our heads.”

  “Especially Iris,” I said. “I’m doing this because of her.”

  “We all are, dude,” Lassa said.

  “I do have one condition,” Harper said. “Can I bring the goblin sickle too?”

  “Hell yes,” Lassa said. “I freaking love that sickle.”

  “The Magnum and the sickle,” Harper said.

  “That’s two conditions,” I replied.

  “And my knives.”

  “Three conditions and the knives go without saying.”

  “And I get to kill Aspen when he turns on us.”

  “Ooh, I may call rank on that one.”

  “We’ll see. We have to live through this first.”

  “Yeah, that Aspen guy’s so going to turn on us,” Lassa said.

  “It’s what faeries, especially the Fae, do,” I said. “We’d be goddamn idiots to think otherwise.”

  “I for one refuse to be a goddamn idiot,” Lassa said. He stretched and yawned. “I’m out, y’all. Time for this yeti to get his beauty sleep.”

  “You do that,” I said.

  He stood up and held out a fist. Harper gave it a bump, and then he was gone, off to occupy one of the suite’s bedrooms. That left me and Harper alone in the living room.

  “You tired?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she replied.

  “Gonna go crash?”

  “No.”

  “Too wound up?”

  “Yes.”

  “Me too.”
<
br />   I was asleep on the couch within a minute of saying that.

  9

  STORING CRAP FOR clients in black boxes is only part of what we do. There is the entire courier portion of our business too. At times, I create boxes that I don’t return back to the Dim. As good as I am with the Dim, there are forces at work that can get in the way. Some dimensions make it hard to retrieve a box from the Dim. Some clients don’t trust the Dim and want the box present at all times. In those cases, we physically deliver the box.