Borrow Trouble

by Mary Monroe

  “I’m a married woman,” I reminded Frankie.

  “Big sister, you ain’t fooling nobody but yourself with that Little Miss Innocent act.” Frankie made herself comfortable at the foot of my bed, burping like a seal. “A piece of paper never stopped nobody from getting them a piece.”

  “How did you get in this house, girl? And what do you want?” I snapped.

  “Duh? You told me to come pick up Cheryl the night before you left.” Frankie rolled her eyes and gave me an exasperated look. “And do a sister a favor and remind your girl Inez that she promised me a trip for my high school graduation before the end of this year. A few weeks on a beach in Hawaii during Christmas break would be nice, but I’d settle for Mexico.” I wanted to slap Frankie, but before I could, she walked up to me and gave me a big hug. “Have a good time down there, old woman.” She paused and gave me a serious look. “And please be careful down there. You are the only sister I got to…uh…pick on,” she told me, with tears in her eyes.

  “I’ll remind Inez about the trip she promised you,” I said, with a sniff, patting my sister on the back. I knew I didn’t have to remind Inez to do anything if she’d made a promise. She had never let anybody down.

  I hadn’t been able to do much for Frankie’s graduation, back in June. As a teacher, I did not make a huge salary. But Leon did. However, a lot of our combined income went to his eldest daughter and her mother, Jimmie Lee. We called her Gimme Lee because she was always demanding something from Leon, chanting, “Gimme this, gimme that.” That lazy bitch had not worked in four years! In addition to the child support payments that Leon made, he paid Jimmie Lee’s rent and other expenses. If Inez had not offered to pay my travel expenses, I knew that I’d never make it to the Caribbean, or anyplace else, other than some relative’s house down South. It was so important for me to take this trip while I had the chance.

  An hour before Inez came to pick me up so that we could get to the airport that Saturday morning in August, I received a very strange telephone call.

  “Hello, Renee. This is Robbie,” a deep masculine voice announced when I answered.

  “Robbie who?” I asked, with an impatient yawn.

  “Your use-to-be,” Robbie told me, sounding more patient than any other man would have. “I’ve…I’ve been missing you, girl,” he said in a voice that sounded like it was coming from a lovesick schoolboy.

  “Oh. I thought you sounded familiar,” I lied, knowing damn well that I had not forgotten what the man I’d dumped to marry Leon sounded like. There were times when I didn’t like some of the things I said and did. But life was not a rehearsal. I had just flattered myself by assuming that Robbie was calling me to try and set up a rendezvous with me behind my husband’s back. “Robbie, I love my husband. I wouldn’t do anything in the world to hurt him,” I said proudly. “Now you have got to understand that it is over between us. You really need to find yourself another woman and focus on her, not me,” I said, with a sniff.

  “Renee, I am glad to hear you say that. All I ever really wanted was for you to be happy. And I tried my best to make you happy, but I guess my best was not good enough for you, huh?”

  “Robbie, is that what you called me up for?” I asked, trying to sound sympathetic and understanding at the same time. “Well, this is not the time for this conversation.”

  “Renee, I got your phone number from your sister, and I hope you don’t mind me calling your house,” Robbie said, his voice cracking.

  “No, it’s all right. I’m alone,” I said, puzzled as to why Robbie was calling me after all this time. I had not even thought too much about him since our breakup, but I’d seen him from time to time pumping gas as I drove past the gas station where he still worked. And each time, even with his back to me, I’d have recognized his bow legs even with my eyes closed. “Uh, how have you been?” I asked, stumbling over my words. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine, Renee. As a matter of fact, I just got engaged to one of the Mitchell twins,” he announced proudly.

  “Oh. That’s nice.” I was sincerely happy for Robbie, even though I’d hated the two stuck-up Mitchell sisters all of my life. Even though they were as evil as hell, Jennifer and Janet Mitchell were the prettiest two Black women in Butler, and everybody knew it, especially them. Jennifer had even competed in the Miss Ohio beauty pageant a few years ago. It was kind of ironic that Robbie had ended up with such a prize, anyway. Not to say that I was a Miss Anything, but I knew that Robbie had considered me a trophy on some level. I didn’t even ask Robbie which one he was going to marry.

  “I don’t believe much in dreams, but this one woke me up last night. When I went back to sleep, it repeated itself,” Robbie said, clearing his throat.

  “Well, was I in the dream?” I asked. I hid my impatience. Not because I believed in dreams, but because I was curious. I glanced at my watch. Then I moved closer to the window and parted the red and gold brocade curtains, which I’d just purchased the weekend before. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Inez’s car stop in front of my house. “Oh! I have to go now!” I said quickly. “Uh, Robbie, I really would like to hear more about your dreams, but can I talk to you when I get back? I’m about to leave right this minute to go away for a couple of weeks.” I patted the cute, short, and tapered black wig that I had clamped in place on my head with a dozen bobby pins. I had decided to wear wigs for the next two weeks, so I wouldn’t have to deal with a head of frizzy naps and dandruff.

  “I have to tell you this now, Renee.” Robbie paused, but not long enough for me to shut him up. “In the dream that I had last night, you kept trying to call me for help from some place with a lot of water around it. Are you about to go off to an island?”

  I hesitated for several seconds. “I…yes, I am. A place called Paraíso. That’s Spanish for paradise. Why would I try to call you from my vacation, even in a dream?” My response came out sounding kind of stern, but I didn’t realize that until I’d said it.

  “I don’t know. I’m worried about you, girl. Just be careful. And, I want you to know that if you ever do need my help, all you have to do is call me.” Robbie hung up before I could tell him that the woman he needed to be worrying about was that Mitchell woman he was going to marry, not me.

  I felt bad about the way I had talked to Robbie, and the way I had felt about him. Despite his shortcomings, he had been one of the best things that had ever happened to me. But that was something that I would not admit to him or anybody else, except Inez. I had a wonderful marriage, and I had every reason in the world to believe that it was only going to get better.

  CHAPTER 22

  I had to force myself to not think about Robbie’s telephone call. Just hearing his voice had made me a little sad, and this was not how I wanted to start my vacation. And I didn’t waste any more time thinking about all of that scary shit that Mama and Leon had tried to fill my head with. That’s why I quickly slurped up five martinis during the first three hours on the plane, hoping they would help me keep things in perspective.

  “You’d better slow down,” Inez warned, giving me a dry look. “You don’t want to burn out before we even set things afire. We are going to be in this air at least two more hours.”

  “Slow down my ass,” I burped, rolling my eyes at Inez. She shook her head and groaned, but I still leaned across her lap from my window seat and motioned for the flight attendant to bring me another drink. “You do stuff like this all of the time. This is old news to you,” I said, letting out a loud hiccup.

  This whole scenario was a first for me in more than one way. It was my first real vacation, my first trip to the Caribbean, my first time to really get loose and not worry about who saw me doing what. Other than Inez, there would be no other witnesses to whatever I ended up doing on the island. I could get shit-faced drunk and run up and down the beach naked if I wanted to. I could do all of the things that I would never even think about doing in my hometown. I could even flirt and dance up a storm with other me
n, and not worry about it getting back to my husband. The thought of all the possibilities at my disposal brought a devilish smile to my face.

  I’d been Miss Goody Two-shoes for too long. Well, those shoes were about to come off. I wanted to be assertive. No, that was too tame. I wanted to be aggressive for once in my life. So far, Robbie had been the only person that I’d really been even mildly aggressive with.

  I giggled and fanned my mouth with my hand, and then I tried to sound as determined as I felt. “Things are going to change for me. I am going to start enjoying life a lot more. I am going to be…uh, more like you.” I cleared my throat as Inez sat there looking at me like she wanted to hold up a cross and splash me with some holy water like they did Dracula. I ignored her reaction and kept talking. “I didn’t even get a real honeymoon, and if I wait for Leon to take me on a real vacation, I’ll be waiting from now on.” I was slurring my words, but I didn’t care.

  Leon’s idea of a vacation was for us to drive down to rural Alabama and sit on his aunt Betty Lou’s back porch and watch his male relatives kill a hog for us. That’s what we had done the past three summers in a row. I wanted to see what it really felt like to let my hair down and get truly loose. I intended to party my ass off on this vacation.

  The plane was now flying low above our destination, and I felt like I was in a dream. From the window on my side, I could see water so blue that it was sparkling like glitter under the blazing sun.

  “Oh, my God! The island is shaped like a heart!” I turned to Inez and gasped.

  “What did you expect with a name that means paradise?” Inez grinned in a nonchalant way, like she did this every day. She did do it often enough for it not to excite her as much as it did me. “And just wait until you see the men,” Inez panted. A dazed expression covered her face like a veil.

  “I don’t want you to embarrass me down here on this cute little island, woman,” I scolded, waving a drunken finger in front of Inez’s face.

  “Girl, don’t be trying to judge me. I don’t apologize for anything I do,” she said, with a pensive look on her face now. “And for your information, I don’t fuck every man I spend time with. I’m picky.” She let out a snort, snatched the drink that I’d ordered off of the flight attendant’s tray, and gulped half of it down in one swallow before she handed the glass to me.

  “Aaah, a hoochie with some class,” I guffawed, jabbing Inez in her side with my elbow. “You know I don’t care what you do. I still love you.” I finished the drink, and then I got serious. “I just wish that you could tone it down a little. You can be happy with one man. Look at me.”

  Inez gave me a disgusted look. She looked at me for a long time before she blinked, and then she looked away. But not before I saw the unbearable sadness in her eyes. We remained silent for the rest of the flight.

  I was glad to see that I was not the only person staggering off the plane. I think everybody but the crew was drunk by the time we landed.

  The local men, some with women already wrapped up in their arms, started winking and blinking at Inez and me before we even made it to the luggage carousel. It was downright comedic to see a bunch of strange men waving and throwing kisses like they’d never seen a woman before in their lives. I was grinning and waving back at them, but Inez just strutted by like she didn’t even see all of this activity going on around us. However, she made a date with a baggage handler before we even left the airport.

  “A baggage handler? Aren’t you aiming kind of low?” I asked as soon as we got into the cab that was taking us to the Princeton Hotel, which was located right on the beach. “Couldn’t you have at least held out for a waiter or a street vendor?” I laughed. But behind my laughter were some real concerns. I didn’t want my best friend to let some island Romeo make a fool out of her. Like fucking the hell out of her, and then racking up outrageous charges on her credit cards. One of the homely, middle-aged teachers at my school had met some young guy on a beach in Mexico last summer. When she got back to Ohio, she bragged about her handsome new man. She even sent him a ticket to come visit her. A month later, she married her gigolo in a wedding that was almost as lavish as Princess Diana’s. As soon as the bridegroom got his green card, he took off with another woman—in his new wife’s new car. And he had run up twenty thousand dollars worth of charges on her credit cards. The homely teacher had a complete nervous breakdown.

  “I hope you never meet somebody who takes advantage of you,” I said, still thinking about the teacher. “Some of these low-income guys are more interested in finance than romance.”

  “Girl, my mama didn’t raise a fool. I know when a man is trying to get more from me than he deserves. Why do you think I divorced Vince? Anyway, I’ve had some of my best times with men in low income,” Inez informed me. There was a faraway look on her face.

  The Princeton Hotel stood out among the other hotels on the beach. Like it was in a league of its own. For one thing, it was the tallest building on the block. And the only pink structure that we’d seen on the island so far. Limousines were double-parked in front of the hotel, dropping off and picking up prosperous-looking men and women. The hotel lobby contained a huge man-made waterfall, live trees, and exotic plants and flowers. It was a place fit for royalty, and that was exactly how I felt.

  As soon as we checked into our spacious hotel suite, with its pink and white decor, two queen-size beds fit for two queens, and a mini-bar, I ran out to inspect our balcony. The boy who’d brought our luggage to our suite was still present. Judging from the exaggerated grin on his round, sweaty face, he was enjoying a mundane conversation with Inez. I ignored them and the complimentary champagne and chocolate on the dresser and headed for the bathroom, dying to take a shower. But before I could even get undressed, I heard the boy tell Inez, “My shift ends in ten minutes.” I didn’t hear the whole conversation, but I had to wonder why he was telling her what time he got off work.

  By the time I got out of the shower, Inez was gone. I found her on the beach, right below our balcony. She was stretched out on the white sand, under a beach umbrella, like a throw rug, sharing a bottle of rum with the same youngster who had brought our luggage up to our room.

  I didn’t bother Inez; I just wandered around until I found a cute little beachside restaurant nearby, where I enjoyed a candlelit dinner alone. I ignored all of the men walking by, tipping their white Panama hats, and giving me the eye. But I certainly enjoyed all the attention.

  When I motioned for my waitress to bring my check, she practically skipped over to me and announced, “One of your admirers has already settled it.” She gave me a wide grin and a mysterious wink. My mouth dropped open, and I looked around the area, jerking my head so hard, my neck ached.

  “Whoever he is, he didn’t have to do that,” I said coyly, still looking around. “Is he still here?” I asked, clutching a narrow glass that had to be at least a foot long. I took another sip of my drink, amazed at how much more potent it was than the drinks I’d consumed on the plane.

  “He is indeed. Let me give you some advice.” The waitress, a thin, long-faced woman, with a grin like a mule, leaned close enough to whisper in my ear. “You are obviously from another place. Here, when an attractive woman is on her own and accepts a drink or a dinner, it sends the message. The men on this island have senses that are keener than a dog’s. They can hear the message loud and clear.”

  “What message?” I asked dumbly, dabbing rum and coke off of my lip with the tip of my finger.

  My waitress gave me a knowing wink. “Every man present wants to mount you.”

  It took me a few moments to realize what the friendly waitress meant.

  “Well, I am a married woman,” I said as loud as I could, hoping whoever had paid for my dinner was close enough to hear.

  The waitress shrugged and let out a sharp laugh. “Most of the men on this island are married. At least you have one thing in common with them.”

  I practically ran back to the hotel room, where I wast
ed fifteen minutes trying to get through to Ohio so that I could tell Leon how much I loved him. My sister, Frankie, answered my telephone.

  “What are you doing in my house?” I demanded. “Where is Leon?”

  “The cable went out on our whole street. You know I never miss America’s Most Wanted, girl. Leon took some lady out for a drink,” Frankie revealed.

  “Some lady?” I asked, swallowing a hard lump in my throat. “What lady?”

  “That big-tittied lady from next door. She was upset. Something about her husband leaving her for his secretary.”

  “Oh?” I didn’t even want to know which one of my next-door neighbors Leon had taken out for a drink. It didn’t matter, because the women on both sides of our house were attractive.

  “Miss Thing had the nerve to have on some shorts and one of them see-through, low-cut blouses, like the ones you bought for your trip,” Frankie revealed. “Girl, you better call back and check your man.”

  “My husband knows how to behave,” I said weakly. I was in the worst kind of denial and had been for years. I finally realized that.

  “I bet all of them Kennedy wives said the same thing. Big sister, if you want me to whup that cow’s ass when Leon brings her home, tell me. Then, when you get back, I’ll hold her so you can whup her some more.” Frankie laughed.

  “Frankie, do me a favor. Don’t tell Leon I called,” I said, with a heavy sigh.

  It seemed like everybody was having fun except me, and I didn’t like that at all. After what I’d just heard from my sister, I had to wonder just how much longer I could trust myself.

  CHAPTER 23

  I was tempted to leave the hotel again, hoping to see the man who had paid for my dinner. The least I could do was to thank him, and maybe even have a few more drinks, on him. There was nothing wrong with that. And I decided that it would be nice to have somebody to talk to.