by S. E. Lund
"I want it spontaneous sometimes,” she said, her voice frustrated. “Whenever either of us feels a need, we fuck. I also want bondage and dominance. I love it. But can't we mix it up a bit? What's wrong with that?"
"I'm a Dominant,” I said firmly. “You knew that when we started this." I stood there, hands on hips. "For God's sake, Kate. That’s what you were looking for when you found Lara. Now, it seems as though you don’t really want it. You want a vanilla relationship with me, with a bit of bondage and kink thrown in when you decide you want it. Submission doesn’t work like that."
"You were a lot more spontaneous when we were first together at 8th Avenue. What happened?" She put her hands on my chest and stared up into my eyes. "Things have changed since Maureen came here and you learned about Liam."
"Kate, I'm a Dominant," I said again. "I need control. We've been over this." I studied her face. "Are you unhappy with me?"
She sighed heavily. "I love you, Drake but you told me to tell you if I felt neglected. Well, I feel neglected."
I stared at her. "I understand, but I'm not fucking you now," I said, forcing myself to be calm. "You'll have to wait."
"Fine," she said and pulled on her socks. She went to the closet and grabbed her things. Then she picked up her bag and went to the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked, standing in the entryway, watching her, feeling completely helpless and out of control.
"Outside to work off some of this unresolved sexual tension. Outside of sex, I'm a free agent, Drake. I'm not submissive. I can do whatever I please. I'm going to the studio. Then, I might go to my parents. I might go to an art gallery. Who knows?"
"Don't do this, Kate. Don't leave angry."
"See you later," she said, slamming the door behind her.
I was left alone in my apartment, the way I had been for five years since Maureen left me.
Was I already blowing it with Kate?
CHAPTER SIX
When Kate slammed the door and left me alone, it really threw a damper over my morning. As soon as Kate left, I thought of Lara. I needed someone to talk to and Lara was the only person I knew who understood me. There really was no one I could talk to about Kate except for Lara so once more I found myself calling her up to ask for advice.
“Problems in paradise?” she said in her droll way. “Shouldn’t you be on your way to Africa?”
“We haven’t even left yet,” I said. “We won’t be at least until the end of February. Maybe later, depending.”
“Depending on what?” she asked, and I could tell she finally was giving me her undivided attention. Until then, she sounded a bit distracted, probably clearing cases off her desk.
I sighed. “You won't believe what’s happened in the last few days.”
“Try me.”
I took in a breath. “I have a son.”
There was a moment of silence. “What?” she said, her voice rising.
“Maureen was pregnant with my child when she moved to California. She thought it was her new boyfriend’s. She hoped it was his, but the boy is mine.”
“A boy? How do you know he’s yours? Jesus, Drake…”
“I know. Total shock. I know he’s mine because she had her husband tested and he wasn’t related to the boy. Whose name is Liam, by the way. He’s five years old and dying of leukemia. I just went through a round of treatment so I could give him a stem cell donation.”
“Wait, what?” she said. “Whoa, Drake. Slow down. He’s got leukemia? The same as your brother? The one who died before you were born?”
“The same. I passed it to him.”
“Christ. And Maureen never bothered to tell you he was yours all these years?”
“She honestly didn’t know or didn’t want to know. It wasn’t until they tested Chris as a possible stem cell donor that they learned the truth. You can imagine their shock.”
“So the slut was fucking the two of you.”
“Lara…”
“Drake, she was a total bitch to you, and was having an affair,” Lara said, her voice hard. “Out of the blue she tells you she’s leaving and when you dare to try to talk to her, stop her from leaving, she gets a temporary restraining order. Don’t tell me she isn’t a fucking bitch.”
I smiled at the vehemence of Lara’s hatred of Maureen. Lara had never liked Maureen when they met before we married. Then Lara and I lost touch. When Maureen left, we reconnected when I reached out to her for help.
“Okay. She’s a bitch. Compared with Kate, she’s the Wicked Witch of the West.”
“Speaking of Kate, how’s she taking all this?”
I shook my head, so glad that Kate was there for me, even if she wasn’t there for me at that precise moment.
“She’s fantastic. Like a rock about it.”
“That’s great. I knew she’d be good for you. So tell me about Liam?”
I described him to her, talked about meeting him and seeing how frail he was. I even told her about the fistfight with Chris.
“Holy crap, Drake. You should have called me sooner. I can do something to help you get access to Liam if you want.”
“No, that’s all right. I don’t want to intrude. Chris looks like a good father and I don’t want to confuse Liam. They have enough to worry about without me barging in on their lives.”
“They didn’t think twice about barging in on yours…”
“Lara, it was to save Liam’s life,” I said, surprised that she couldn’t understand. “Of course, they had to contact me.”
“So, why did you call me? What’s up, beside having a son, who has leukemia, doing a stem cell donation and delaying your trip to Africa? Oh, and getting into a fight with your ex’s husband…”
I could imagine her smile as she sat at her huge mahogany desk in her office.
“I called you because of Kate.”
There was a pause. “I thought you said everything was good with her…”
I sighed. “Things are wonderful, except she became quite upset this morning after I wouldn’t have sex with her. She likes sex in the morning, but I wanted to wait until this evening when we could do a full scene. She actually slammed the door when she left the apartment.”
I heard her chuckle.
“It’s not funny, Lara. Seriously. I’m having problems maintaining the proper Dom / sub relationship with her when it comes to sex.”
“Why?”
I thought about our relationship. I was ecstatic with Kate, but felt out of control. “We’re really sexually compatible, but she doesn’t quite understand that she doesn’t get to make decisions when it comes to sex.”
“Have you shown her this? I mean, in your behavior with her? You have to be firm. If you give in, she’ll learn she can push you. Twist you around her finger. That won’t make a sub happy and soon she’ll be looking for someone who will be strong with her.”
I nodded to myself at that. “She’s pretty good overall. But this morning didn’t go well.”
“What are you afraid of?” she said. “I mean, what’s keeping you from enforcing things with her?”
I shrugged. “I don’t want to scare her off…”
“Drake’s in love…” she said and I could hear the tease in her voice. “Drake, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but not showing your dominance with her is more likely to drive her away than if you do. She wants you to take control or she wouldn’t be interested in D/s. Period. End of story. Show her you love her and indulge her outside of sex. Be firm when it comes to sex.”
“You’re right, of course.” I would have given myself the same advice. I guess I just wanted to hear it from Lara, to reinforce what I already knew to be true.
“Thanks, Lara. I know you’re right.”
“I am. You already knew this. Now, go and take what you want. That’s how you’ll give Kate what she needs.”
Although I felt better after speaking with Lara, I went through the motions of my morning with very little enthusiasm. It wasn’t jus
t that Kate expressed her dissatisfaction with me. It was everything. Maureen’s return, Liam’s existence and illness, Dawn’s meddling, Chris’s disrespectful treatment of Kate, my fight with him…
All of it conspired to make me feel particularly down.
I dragged myself to the hospital to read over patient files and check in on a few stragglers who were still recovering on the main surgical ward. I even called up Ken to see how he was doing. All of it meant to keep busy until Kate calmed down and contacted me. I probably should have contacted her first, but I wanted to give her the space to decide for herself to text or call me.
Later that afternoon, while I was sitting in my office reading a paper I was working on with a colleague, my cell chimed.
A message from Kate:
I'm sorry, Drake. Please don’t be mad at me. I was being a spoiled child. Forgive me? It's just that sometimes, I have so much desire for you, I forget how to submit.
I sat and tried to compose a response that would both satisfy her and yet didn’t give in or apologize. As Lara said, Kate wanted me to be a Dom, but that wasn’t something that I could turn off and on at will like a light switch.
Sexually, I was a Dom all the time. Even when I tried to yield power, I topped from the bottom.
Finally satisfied with my message, I pressed send.
Of course I'm not mad at you. There's nothing to forgive. I always want you to be completely honest with me, even when it might be something painful for me to hear. I know submission isn’t easy. If it were too easy, you’d grow bored.
I love you.
I didn’t receive a response so I got in the car and drove to the Foundation. I hung around and talked with Dave about Liam and the delay in my plans for Africa. Finally, I received a response from Kate
I love you.
That made me happy, a sensation of warmth spreading through my chest. When Dave and I were finished discussing project plans, I sent Kate another message.
I'm coming home in an hour, Katherine. I want you naked, wearing your garters and stockings, kneeling by my bed. Use the blindfold in my closet. I want you to think of all the things I'm going to do to you. I want you wet and ready, waiting for me. I'll call and let the phone ring twice before hanging up. That will be the signal that I'm almost there. You should be ready for me, nice and wet and submissive when I arrive.
I knew that Kate wanted to do a full scene like the one in my letters to my subs. I had delayed giving it to her because I wanted her to be ready to experience submission fully and completely with as little hesitation as possible. I had to push her boundaries and still have her yield power to me voluntarily. She had to try things she might not think she’d like, so I could show her that they could be enjoyable.
I had about an hour left before I could leave as I was meeting with the accountant to go over the funding for various campaigns in Africa before I left. Waiting an hour to be with Kate was going to be very difficult, especially with a semi straining against my pants. I had to focus extremely carefully on the numbers so that I was able to listen to him talk funding and actually hear what he had to say instead of thinking of the creamy soft curves of one naked and submissive Katherine McDermott.
Finally, I was able to leave the Foundation and take the car to my apartment in Chelsea to pick up a few items I’d need for our scene. Then, I drove to the apartment on 8th Avenue and to Kate.
I had everything planned out including how I’d approach her. I was going to ply her with vodka to loosen her up enough so that she’d relax. She was usually wound up tight, and always needed something to loosen her up, which was why bondage worked so well with her. She needed to lose total control in order to relax.
I turned the key in the lock and listened when I stepped into the apartment. There was no music, just the soft sounds of traffic coming in from under an open window.
I removed my boots and coat and went to the bedroom to check and see if she was in proper position. There she was, kneeling on a pillow beside the bed as I commanded, a scarf around her eyes, naked except for her garters and hose. Her full breasts jutted forward because her hands were clasped behind her back, her nipples erect in the cool air.
My cock thickened at the sight of her, a delicious ache building in my groin, and I couldn’t wait to enjoy her body and mind as I took her in our scene.
I went to the refrigerator for the chilled bottle of Anisovaya and brought two glasses with me to the bedroom. I placed them on the dresser and then began to undress, stripping off my clothes and watching Kate while I did, enjoying her naked beauty.
I went to stand beside her and stroked her head and when I touched her, she parted her lips.
"Now remember your safewords, Katherine,” I said. “Yellow is for when you need me to slow down and red stops everything. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she said. "I won't need either one, Master."
"I don't expect you will, but just in case, I want you to feel completely safe. Now, open your mouth wider," I said. "I've got some Anisovaya for you."
She took the glass from my hands and drank it down. I kissed her as quickly as I could, wanting to taste it on her tongue. When I sucking her tongue into my mouth, she murmured in response, her tiny whimper sending a jolt of lust through me. I pulled away and stroked her cheek with my fingers.
"Have some more," I said and poured another shot, then placed it in her hands. She frowned, but didn't argue, drinking down the liquor.
Then I slipped a finger into her mouth. She sucked on it, her tongue rolling around the tip the way it would around the head of my cock.
"Good girl," I said and took the shot glass out of her hand. "Open wider."
When she complied, I placed the tip of my cock against her lips. She licked, tasting my fluid, then opening wider to accept the entire head. She sucked and licked and I groaned in response.
"Take as much as you can," I said, my voice low.
When I pressed a bit too hard she gagged, so I withdrew a bit before beginning a slow gentle thrust in and out, fucking her mouth, one hand holding the back of her head to guide her and take more control.
Finally, I withdrew slowly and she waited for what would happen next.
"Have more," I said, handing her another shot of Anisovaya. She drank that down and licked her lips when a bit spilled down her chin.
"You're getting me drunk, Master?" she said, smiling.
"Shh,” I said and put a finger against her lips. “A good submissive just submits, Katherine. She doesn't question."
She nodded without speaking.
I took the shot glass and lifted her up, pulling her into my arms and kissing her deeply. I ground my erection hard against her belly and tweaked a nipple between my finger and thumb, eliciting a groan from her.
She stumbled against me, so I pulled her over to the bed and sat on the edge. I directed her between my spread thighs and squeezed and stroked her lush breasts while I sucked her nipples to hardness. In return, she gasped and writhed when I ran my teeth over each one, biting down just hard enough to almost hurt but not quite, then I sucked each one softly.
"Are you nice and wet for me, Katherine?"
"Yes, Master," she said, her voice wavering.
I slid my fingers between her labia, slipping them into her body, my thumb pressing against her clit. She was nice and wet, her silky warm folds inviting. I could barely wait to push myself inside of her, but I would. I had much planned for her and wanted to prolong each step.
I left her standing by the bed and retrieved a collection of leather strips that I used to bind my submissives. When I returned, I began to wrap them around her, under her arms and around her breasts and soon, each breast was bound, squeezed, her nipples hard points. I sucked each nipple while my hands caressed each plump breast. Then, I wound the strips of leather around her waist and down over her hips and belly, lacing them between her thighs on either side of her labia.
"Lie on the bed with your hands above your head." I helped her on
to the bed and cuffed each wrist to the bed frame. "Spread your legs, wide, and rest them on the edge of the bed."
When she complied, I wove leather strips around her thighs and cuffed each ankle to a spreader bar. I had never used one on her before, so it would be a night of firsts.
She was completely immobile, bound, blindfolded and totally under my control. Her body and mind went into subspace. I could actually see the change in her when it happened, her body totally relaxing.
I bent down between her thighs and covered her pussy with my mouth, stroking her clit with my tongue. She groaned and arched her back.
"Oh, God, Master…"
"You're so wet and so ready, Katherine,” I said when I pulled away. “But you're going to have to wait." Then I bent her knees and took a tube of lubricant. I dripped it on her and as soon as she felt it, she tensed, inhaling loudly.
"Relax, Katherine," I said. "Do you trust me?"
She said nothing for a moment, and I knew she was fighting with herself. She wanted to resist out of fear of anal play, but she also wanted to please me.
"I said, do you trust me, Katherine?"
"Yes. But I'm afraid—"
"Shh," I said and lay on top of her, my body between her spread thighs, my erection jutting against her belly. I kissed her, warmly, deeply, my hand cupping her cheek. "You only need four words. Yes, Master, yellow and red. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Master."
"Do you believe that I love you?"
"Yes, Master," she said immediately.
"Do you trust me to know how far and how fast to go?"
At that, she hesitated. "When I did it before, it felt like I had a knife inside of me."
I embraced her, kissing her tenderly. "My poor sweet Katherine," I whispered. "I promise you when I do, you'll feel pleasure. Do you trust me to know how and when?"
