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“No, Loki.” I shook my head, but I didn’t pull away. “I told you that was one night and it could never happen again.”
“And I told you that one night wasn’t enough.”
Loki leaned down, kissing me deeply and pressing me to him. I didn’t even attempt to resist. I wrapped my arms around his neck. It wasn’t the way we had kissed before, not as hungry or fevered. This was something different, nicer.
We were holding onto each other, knowing this might be the last time we could. It felt sweet and hopeful and tragic all at once.
When he stopped kissing me he rested his forehead against mine. He breathed as if struggling to catch his breath. I reached up and touched his face, his skin smooth and cool beneath my hand.
Loki lifted his head so he could look me in the eyes, and I saw something in them, something I’d never seen before. Something pure and unadulterated, and my heart seemed to grow with the warmth of my love for him.
I don’t know how it happened or when it had, but I knew it with complete certainty. I had fallen in love with Loki, more intensely than anything I had felt for anyone before.
“Wendy!” Finn shouted, pulling me from my moment with Loki. “What are you doing? You’re married! And not to him!”
“Nothing slips by you, does it?” Loki asked.
“Finn,” I said and stepped away from Loki. “Calm down.”
“No!” Finn yelled. “I will not calm down! What were you thinking? We’re about to go to war, and you’re cheating on your husband?”
“Everything’s not exactly the way it seems,” I said, but guilt and regret were gripping my stomach. My marriage might be over, but I was still technically wed to another man. And I should be worrying about things more important than kissing Loki.
“It seemed like you had your tongue down his throat,” Finn glared at us both.
“Well, then, everything is exactly as it seems,” Loki said glibly.
“Loki, can you give us a moment alone?” I asked. He sighed and looked like he was about to protest. “Loki. Now.”
“As you wish, My Queen,” Loki muttered. He walked past Finn as he left the room, giving him one more discerning glare, but they said nothing to each other. Loki shut the doors behind him, leaving Finn and I alone in my room.
“What were you thinking?” Finn asked, sounding at a loss for words.
“I was thinking that we’re about to go to war, and my mother just died,” I said. “Life is so very, very short, and I… I love him.”
Finn winced. He looked away from me, and he chewed the inside of his cheek. It broke my heart to hurt him, but he needed to hear the truth.
“You barely know him,” Finn said carefully.
“I know,” I nodded. “I don’t know how to explain it. But… it is what it is.”
“It is what it is?” He laughed darkly and rolled his eyes. “Your love must not mean much the way you throw it around. It wasn’t that long ago you pledged it all to me, and here you are – ”
“Here I am married to another man because you wouldn’t fight for me,” I said, cutting him off. “I did love you, Finn. And I still care about you. I always will. You are good and strong, and you did the best you could by me. But… you never really wanted to be with me.”
“What are you talking about?” Finn asked. “I wanted nothing more than to be with you! But I couldn’t!”
“That’s it right there, Finn!” I gestured to him. “You couldn’t. We can’t. I mustn’t. You always took everything at face value, and you never even tried.”
“I never tried?” Finn asked. “How can you even say that?”
“Because you didn’t.” I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. “You never fought for me. I fought so hard for you. I was willing to give up everything to be with you. But you gave up nothing. You wouldn’t even let me give up anything.”
“How is that a bad thing?” Finn asked. “I only wanted what was best for you.”
“I know that, but you’re not my father, Finn. You were supposed to be my…” I trailed off. “I don’t know what. You were never my boyfriend. You refused to be anything more to me, unless you saw me interested in another guy.”
“I was only trying to protect you!” Finn insisted.
“That doesn’t change anything.” I took a deep breath. “I have been fighting to change things around here, to make the kingdom better for trackers and all the Trylle. And you have been fighting to keep things the same. You are content to live in this ridiculous hierarchy.”
“I am not content,” he said fiercely.
“But you’re not doing anything to change it! You’re just taking it, and that I could live with. You’re willing to simply accept your fate. But you expected me to do the same, and that I can’t stomach, Finn. I wanted more. I need more.”
“And you think Loki will give that to you?” Finn asked, and most of the sarcasm had fallen away from his voice. He actually wanted to know if I thought Loki was good for me.
“Yes, he will,” I nodded.
“And how does your husband feel about all of this?” Finn asked.
“I don’t know exactly,” I said, purposely leaving out the part that I didn’t know how much Tove really knew about Loki and me. “But once everything is settled with the Vittra, Tove and I are getting our marriage annulled.”
“You’re leaving him for Loki?” Finn asked, and now he sounded astonished.
“No, actually,” I said. “Tove is leaving me. He wants to share his life with someone he actually loves, and that’s not me.”
His whole body slacked, and he stared off at the floor. Finn ran a hand through his hair, and I realized with some dismay that I would never again run my fingers through his hair. Whatever had happened between Finn and me, it was over. He was no longer mine.
“I’m sorry,” Finn said quietly.
“Pardon?” I asked, thinking I’d heard him wrong.
“You’re right, and I’m sorry.” He looked up at me, his eyes stormy. “I never fought for you. If anything, I fought to uphold a system that kept me from you. And… I am sorry for that.” He swallowed. “I will always regret that.”
“I’m sorry, too.” I bit my lip to keep tears from falling.
“But…” Finn sighed and looked away from me again. “At least he does love you.”
“What?” I asked.
“Loki.” He said his name bitterly and shook his head. “At first, I thought it was a trick, but I’ve been around him enough now and heard him talk about you.” Finn shifted his weight, seeming uncomfortable with the conversation. “And he does love you.”
He nodded his head, but I’m not sure why. He let out a shaky breath, and I think he was trying not to cry.
“So… I guess I can live with that.” He rubbed his forehead. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go down to finish getting ready to leave.”
“Finn,” I said, because I didn’t want to end things like that.
“We can talk more later, if you want to, but we have too much to do now.” He didn’t look at me when he said that. In fact, he didn’t look at me at all when he left.
I wanted to say more to him, but he was right. We had to leave.
23. Time
Throughout the long drive, we said hardly anything. I rode with Tove, Loki, Duncan, and Willa, and the fear was almost palpable. I had no idea if we were doing the right thing. I sounded so confident when I talked to them, but that was because this was the best I could come up with.
Before we left, I’d gone over the plan of attack with the heads of the teams. Loki thought it would be best to break up our army into several smaller teams that would sneak into different places in the Vittra palace.
Around two hundred trackers had joined our army, and most of the Trylle from Oslinna. Maybe two or three dozen Markises and Markisinnas had come along, including Marksinna Laurent. I promised myself to be nicer to her when we got back to Förening. If we got back.
A few mänks
had even volunteered. I’d sent Rhys and Rhiannon away this morning, and I tried to send Matt away, but he refused to leave Förening. Matt had even wanted to fight with us, but I’d convinced him that he would only distract Willa and me, and he agreed to stay behind.
Willa would be leading her own team of twenty trackers and two Markises. They would be going in a side door off the kitchen, and Loki thought there would be hobgoblins in there getting a midnight snack. But Willa could blow around the pots and pans, and one of the Markises with her could control water, so maybe they could flood the place.
Finn and Thomas led two different teams, but they would be doing about the same things. They were coming up through the dungeon. Loki had escaped through a cellar off the back of the palace that opened up into the dungeon. It was actually interconnected to the whole palace, like a long maze beneath it, and through there, Finn, Thomas, and their teams would be able to sneak up and deflect a lot of hobgoblins.
Tove had volunteered for the most dangerous mission. He would go through the front doors, leading a team of fifty trackers. His objective was to make noise and alert the hobgoblins that he was there. That way, the other teams could sneak up behind hobgoblins while they were busy trying to focus on Tove and his team.
Duncan had wanted to be on Tove’s team, but I reassigned him to Willa’s team. So far, hers sounded about the safest. Not that any of this was really safe.
Loki’s job would be to get me in the palace to Oren, and then he would go help Tove fight. He wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but he knew that I had to this, and I had to do it on my own.
In the long history of Trylle, we had never attacked. No matter how provoked we might be. That might be the one thing Oren would never expect, and it might be enough of an advantage to stop him.
Loki knew the palace best, so he drove our SUV and led the rest of the Trylle. We had a caravan of Cadillacs that we drove to the Vittra palace. When we got near the palace, he cut the headlights, and the cars behind us did the same. He parked at the bottom of the hill, as close to the palace as he felt comfortable.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Loki asked me quietly after we got out of the car.
“Yes,” I said. “Are you?”
“Not as much as I’d like,” he admitted.
“Just get me to Oren.”
I looked back behind me, at all the other Trylle getting out of their cars. Finn was already directing a few of them up the hill, telling them how to get inside. Loki had gone over detailed maps with the team leaders before we left, but we hadn’t enough time to show all the Trylle.
“Everybody knows what to do?” I asked and looked over at Willa, Tove, and Duncan.
“Yeah, we’ll be okay.” Willa reached out and squeezed my arm. “Just stay safe.”
“We got it,” Duncan said, flashing a nervous smile.
“Don’t be a hero,” I told him sternly. “Protect yourself.”
“Take care of her,” Tove said to Loki.
“I’ll do my best,” Loki said.
Most everyone else had started up the hill, so we had to split up. Loki and I were going in an entrance on the far side of the palace, away from them. We were going a different route, sneaking around the hobgoblins, so I could face the King.
We went through the trees, slipping through snow and branches cracking under our feet. On the far side of the palace, Loki led me to a small wooden door almost completely buried under vines. The vines looked brown and dead, but they were covered with sharp thorns that cut at Loki’s hand when he pushed them back.
He opened the door, then slid inside, and I followed. We stepped into a narrow, dimly lit hall. The floors were covered with red velvet carpets, and it helped silence our footsteps. As he led me through the back halls of the palace, I heard banging and yelling from far away. The fighting had started.
I jumped when something slammed into the wall right next us, leaving a large crack in the wood.
“What’s on the other side of that wall?” I asked, pointing to the crack.
“The front hall.” Loki took my hand and looked at me. “If you want to do this, we need to hurry. He’s going to hear this.”
I nodded, and we walked faster. The back hallways turned and twisted a few times before we came across a very constricted stairway. I almost had to turn sideways to climb up, the steps themselves were so thin, I had to stand on my tiptoes.
At the top of the stairs was a door, and when Loki pushed it open, I knew exactly where we were. Right across from us were the doors to Oren’s chambers. Vines, fairies, and trolls were carved into the oak, depicting a fantasy scene. The hall was deserted, and the cacophony of the fighting sounded farther away.
I heard a scream that sounded too much like Tove, and the entire palace shook.
“Go,” I said to Loki.
“I don’t want to leave you to face the King alone.”
“No, I can do this.” I put my hand on his chest and faced him. “They need you downstairs. I can handle the King myself.”
“Wendy, no,” he shook his head.
“Loki, please. You must help them. You’re strong. They need you,” I said, but I knew that wouldn’t convince him. “I will send you flying down the hall myself, but that will drain my abilities. I don’t want to do it, but I will if I have to.”
His eyes searched mine, and I knew he didn’t want to leave me. But I couldn’t let him come with me. I wanted him safe, or at least safer than he would be around Oren. And more importantly, my friends needed him to help fight against the hobgoblins.
“I can do this,” I repeated. “I was born for this.”
He didn’t want to, but he finally relented. He kissed me, quickly and fiercely on the mouth.
“I will help them, and then I will be back for you,” he said.
“I know. Now go.”
He nodded and dashed down the hall. Taking a deep breath, I turned around to face the doors. I went down the hall, prepared to kill my father.
24. Beginning of the End
I pushed open the doors, and I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t exactly this. Oren was awake, sitting on his throne. He wore black satin pants, and his robe hung open, revealing his shirtless torso, so I assumed he had been sleeping recently.
He sat casually in the chair, turned slightly to the side so one of his legs hung over the arm. His fingers were bedazzled with heavy, silver rings, and he held a glass of red wine in one hand, sipping it slowly.
I glanced around the room, searching for the swords Loki had told me about. The platinum ones that could cut through anything.
“My child.” Oren smiled at me in that way that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. “You’ve come home.”
“This isn’t my home,” I said, my voice as strong and sure as I could make it. I spotted the swords, their handles glistening with diamonds from where they were mounted on the wall, and that helped give me a bit more confidence.
“It sounds as though you’ve brought guests,” Oren ignored my comment. He twirled his glass, watching the wine swirl about in it. “You’re supposed to wait until your parents go out of town to throw a party.”
“I’m not throwing a party.” I grew irritated with his attempts at humor. “You know why I’ve come.”
“I know why you think you’ve come,” he clarified. He stood up, and in one quick swallow, drained his glass. When he’d finished, he tossed it to the side, making it shatter against the wall. “But if I were you, I would seriously reconsider.”
“Reconsider what?” I asked.
“Your plan.” Oren walked toward me in that same stealth-like gait he always had. “There is still time to follow through on the terms we agreed to. There is still time to save yourself and your friends, but not much.
“I’m not a very patient man,” he said, walking around me in a large circle. “If you weren’t my daughter, you would already be dead. I have given you more than I’ve given anyone else. And it’s time you show
me some gratitude.”
“Gratitude?” I asked. “For what? Kidnapping me? Killing my people? Overtaking my kingdom?”
“For letting you live,” he said, his gravelly voice behind me, right in my ear, and I don’t know how he got that close to me so fast.
“I can say the same thing about you,” I said, surprised by how even my voice stayed. “I’ve let you live thus far, and I will let you continue to live. If you call this off. Let us go. Leave us alone. Forever.”
“Why would I do that?” Oren laughed.
“If you don’t, I will have no other choice,” I said as he strolled back in front of me, facing me as I spoke. “I will kill you.”
“Have you forgotten our deal?” Oren asked, a twisted smile on his lips and something dark sparkling in his eyes. “Have you forgotten what you agreed to when you gave me your kingdom?”
“No, I haven’t forgotten.”
“You’ve merely decided to back out on it?” he asked, smiling wider. “Knowing what it would cost you.”
“It will cost me nothing,” I said firmly. “I will defeat you.”
“Maybe you will.” Oren seemed to consider this for a moment. “But not until you lose everything.”
“Is this your answer then?” I asked.
“You mean will I give up, let you and all your friends live happily ever after?” he asked, his tone condescending, but that changed instantly. His face was hard, and his words were filled with venom. “I get the happily ever after, and I will not concede to a spoiled brat like you.”
“Then you leave me no choice.”
I summoned all my power, concentrating and focusing on everything I had been practicing. I held my hands out toward him, palm out, and using everything I had in me, I began to push. I knew I couldn’t kill him this way, but I hoped to get him incapacitated enough that I could get close to him. Oren would never let me just walk over to him and cut off his head. I had to get him down first.
His hair ruffled, his robe even blew back, but nothing else happened. I used everything inside me, and a buzzing sound started in the back of my head, growing more painful as I tried to use all my energy.