Wrath (Operation Outreach Book 1)

by Elle Thorne

  The way she chewed on her lip as she contemplated his question…

  Caayn glanced at the screen in his hands. What did he have to show for the life he’d chosen? A ship that was the envy of many. A life men wished for. And yet, a hole in his being reminded him that he slept alone, and in the past, often with one eye open. Until he’d met Rush and Mn’eth, he’d not trusted another being.

  Smyrna shook her head slowly. “We were not accosted, nor treated poorly.”

  “Let that serve as my answer.”

  She nodded. “What was it like? Your childhood? I mean after your mom… after you went to live with your father?”

  “He was an unyielding man.”

  “Was?”

  “He and Tramark’s mother have passed.”

  Smyrna put her hand over his. “I’m sorry.” Her lip chewing resumed.

  He sucked air in sharply.

  Her touch was feather-light, but to Caayn it was as if a naked wire had been placed against his flesh. The surge that passed between them made him want to pull away.

  With his other hand, he thumbed her lip free from punishing teeth. “You’re going to draw blood.”

  She looked down. “Bad habit.”

  He could see the pulse pounding in her throat, increasing in tempo. Caayn lowered his thumb to her chin and slowly returned her gaze to his.

  Her dark eyes locked with his, mirrors that reflected the emotions that battled within him. Caayn lowered his head, watching her, waiting to see if she’d pull away.

  When she didn’t, his lips touched hers. He felt her shiver and slid his tongue along her bottom lip, tasting, tracing.

  A slight whimper escaped her and he covered her sweet, hot mouth with his, swallowing the sound, drowning his own passion for her. Her hands touched his wrists, then crept upward, gripping his forearms before snaking their way around his neck.

  The kiss deepened while Caayn’s heart pounded in his chest. He cupped her face, then lowered his hands over her shoulders, toward her waist when—

  by the curses of the seven planets

  —she belonged to another man. She was carrying his child.

  Shame burned deep within him.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “For what?” Smyrna practically panted the words out, heart racing, pulse flying out of control.

  “You’re a taken woman. I had no right. You are carrying another man’s child.”

  Shit. That’s right. “It—I’m—” Smyrna had no clue what the hell to say. How could she have forgotten? She almost screwed it up. “It’s—”

  Caayn clenched his jaw so hard, she could hear the gritting of his teeth.

  She put her hand on his arm. He flinched. Was he really that repulsed by her now? She must seem like the lowest form of creature to him, behaving like this when she was supposed to be pregnant with and engaged to another man.

  “Please.” She slowly returned her hand to her lap. “Show me more pictures. Tell me more.”

  He exhaled, his head thrown back, eyes closed.

  He can’t even bear to look at me; that’s how disgusted he is.

  “Please.” She tapped the button on the viewer in his lap, lighting the screen up. “Show me more. It will help. I can better convince authorities we are the real deal, you know? That you and I are hand-fasting in earnest. Then in a year, you can go your own way.”

  He was immobile.

  “Please, this is important to me. Please. I’ll pay you. I’ll do anything. Just help me.”

  He looked at her. “I don’t want anything from you.”

  She gasped. “I didn’t mean that. Is that what you think that was? That kiss? That I was trying to buy something from you? That I had an ulterior motive?”

  She wanted to hit him. She wanted to snatch his picture viewer and knock him upside the head with it.

  His eyes narrowed. “That’s not what I mean.”

  Damnation. Of all the men to be attracted to.

  Who was she kidding? This was way more than an attraction.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Smyrna adjusted her dress, tried to smooth the wrinkles out. She’d washed it by hand, and let it dry, wearing Caayn’s long shirts and a pair of borrowed small trousers from a footlocker that Caayn said had clothing of crew members that were no longer there. Luckily, one of his former crew mates wasn’t a giant and with the help of a belt, she could wear those trousers.

  Now, she didn’t need them. Caayn’s voice had come over the intercom, announcing they’d be on Janus in an hour. She was hoping that Captain Frax would bring the bag she’d left on his ship when she’d been taken to Caayn’s, so she could have clothing.

  Though, really, I’ll be the wife of an affluential man, so I should be able to buy some clothing.

  Looking in the mirror, she sneered at herself in a dress. And that clothing would not include dresses, that was for damned sure. She approached the porthole, practically touched her nose to the glass, and looked at the green planet they were approaching, remembering that half of the planet was an unfriendly desert.

  She wondered where Baldwin Porter was. Probably in the urban areas of Janus. She wondered if those areas were anything like the urban sprawl of MidMerica. Did Janus have poverty and decay in the inner cities like MidMerica?

  She wished she’d asked Caayn more questions, but she’d never had a chance. After that kiss, he’d not returned to his quarters. Shame and guilt kept Smyrna from leaving the room.

  She adjusted the dress, made sure there was no obvious lump from the Pulser and practiced a smile. She’d have to put on a front. She’d have to pretend to be thrilled to be marrying—hand-fasting—Caayn.

  Then they’d go off to… where did he live? An apartment? A villa? She tried to imagine what home would be like on Janus.

  God, I’m making myself crazy.

  True, she needed to just chill and see. Plus, since when did she care about that stuff? That had nothing to do with her goal. Her objective was plain and simple. Kill Baldwin Porter.

  Who cared where Caayn lived? Who cared where she lived? Who cared what happened after she met her objective?

  And yet, for some damned reason, she found herself thinking beyond that mission, thinking of life after she met her goals.

  Smyrna blew out a breath of frustration, fogging up the window. And then—she couldn’t have said why she did what she did, it was a habit from when she’d been very young—using her fingertip, she drew a tiny heart in the condensation, then she added the letter C in the middle of it.

  Tears burned the bridge of her nose. Tears she knew would be unshed, as they always were, as they’d been since the day Letty died.

  Damn that bastard Porter. Damn him straight to hell. She left the window and sat on the bed, waiting for the ship to land and the next step in her life to begin.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The touchdown was smooth. As touchdowns go, Caayn thought. Time for the show.

  He’d been standing outside the door to his quarters since they’d landed on Janus. Actually, he’d been doing a lot more than standing. He’d been pacing, too. Only silence came from inside the room. He knew she had to have heard his announcement. Was she dressing? Preparing herself for her fiancé?

  Caayn clenched his hands into fists at the thought of Baldwin Porter welcoming her to Janus, touching her, kissing her. It was this frame of mind that he was in when he pounded on the door.

  He hadn’t meant to hit it so hard. He surely should have contained his emotions before battering on the door.

  She opened swiftly, then jumped back as if not expecting it to be him.

  A smile was on her face, but it looked forced, as though perhaps she wasn’t all that glad to see him and had to force herself to appear happy.

  No problem, I’ll be out of your life in no time. First, we’ll go through this sham of a hand-fasting, then we’ll get you your man and set you up in my home, then I’ll leave for the other side
of the universe.

  Oh, he had it all worked out. He’d leave for a year and come back just in time to dissolve the hand-fasting, leave her in her happiness. He’d actually give her the home after the dissolution of their union, because truthfully, he wanted nothing to do with a home she’d have shared with Baldwin Porter—or any other man for that matter.

  But Baldwin Porter, a man who’d snuck his way to the planet, using his money to secure passage with a corsair that did not vet those he brought over…

  It was an unwritten agreement sent down from the government of Zama that no corsair was to bring over any unsavory types to Janus. Zamanese goal was a complete makeover of Janus. No more penal colony.

  Of course, Caayn knew this wasn’t the case. There were unsavory types. And the government knew it, too, but still, they let the word get out that there would be no more. That this was not to be a haven for criminal types.

  Except that corsairs still brought over anybody who wanted to leave Earth, and Janus was the planet closest to Earth that was inhabitable. So, this had become a drop-off point. And since the desert was not heavily patrolled, it was the most convenient place to dump cargo and passengers with minimal government interference and surveillance.

  Caayn knew that was where Porter was dropped off, months ago. He knew this because he was the one who saved the working girl from Porter’s blade.

  Blade? He thought of the scar on Smyrna’s neck. No. She wouldn’t be in love with a man who’d tried to cut her throat. That was impossible. She didn’t seem like a stupid woman. No. He dismissed the thought immediately.

  She was staring at him, and he realized he was lost in his own thoughts.

  “Ready?”

  She nodded, her eyes solemn and empty, the smile definitely not reaching them.

  “Boron’s ship has already arrived. They are waiting for us. The ship transfer has been forgiven. In fact, the press made a romantic story out of it; how I couldn’t live without you and I had to have you on the ship with me, and so on and so forth.”

  Another nod.

  “We have to pretend, to play it up for them. This is a big deal for the Zamanese government, this arrangement with Earth. So, all eyes will be on the happenings. The ceremony will be caught on video and shared with Earth.”

  “It’s a big tourist thing, I guess.” Her tone was somber.

  “It seems to be important to our governments.”

  “I got it. I’ll play the role.”

  “The governor of Janus is officiating the event. Our hand-fasting is set to be first.”

  Her eyes grew wide “First?”

  He nodded. “That’s not a problem, is it? It will allow us to get you reconciled with your fiancé quickly.” He glanced down at her midriff. “He knows about the baby, I take it?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  He nodded, but didn’t share with her that he wasn’t sure Baldwin Porter was the paternal type and he wasn’t sure the cretin would be pleased with the news.

  “We’ll start to look for him as soon as the ceremony is over and eyes are not focused on us. It wouldn’t do to appear as anything other than the happy couple.”

  “I’d rather not delay it,” she said with a grimace. “I’d like to find him as soon as possible.”

  I bet you would. He bit back the remark. “I’ll see what I can do to help you.” He set his jaw.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Smyrna’s face felt like it had frozen in place. Her teeth were dry from holding a smile for so long.

  She chanced a peek and glanced down at the cord that tied her wrist to Caayn’s.

  When she looked up, Caayn’s eyes were on her face. His steel gray eyes were dark and stormy. They reminded her of a day in her teens, when she’d doubted that a tornado could actually be that dangerous, and she’d ventured outdoors. His eyes resembled that sky.

  The applause was thunderous. Even in a large amphitheater with an open roof, the clapping of the attendees—how many tens of thousands were there?—she couldn’t hardly hear herself think.

  The governor, who doubled as the officiator of the hand-fasting, was saying something, his lips moving, but she couldn’t hear him over the applause.

  She leaned closer to Caayn. “What did he say?”

  “It’s time to seal the commitment ceremony.” His breath was warm against her ear.

  She shivered at the feel of it. “What does that mean? Signing something?”

  “Sealing is done with a kiss.”

  “Oh.”

  And that’s the exact position her lips were in when his mouth settled on hers. At first, it was a light brushing. She could taste a blend of spices and man—sexy, undeniably man. Then something changed.

  It flipped, as though a light switch had been flipped. His mouth owned hers, staking a claim, demanding, greedy, challenging. His tongue surged in, battling with hers while about them the crowd began a low roar that rushed toward a sound that eclipsed all others, except her pulse.

  Her heart’s beat sounded loud in her ears, pushing away her awareness and her surroundings.

  Her world spun, and it felt like Janus had begun to spin faster than a top. Her thoughts were gone, vanished, as though a wave toppled a sandcastle.

  And just as suddenly, it was over.

  He’d pushed himself away while at the same time pushing her back. She teetered and reached for purchase, grabbing his sleeve. Confused, she stared and glared at him.

  He leaned in, his forehead pressing against hers. “Forgive me.”

  She couldn’t swallow. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t function. She couldn’t even answer.

  Next to them, even the governor was beaming and applauding. “Bravo! Bravo! I proclaim this program a raging success!”

  The crowd went wild.

  Caayn and Smyrna were still. Foreheads touching, noses touching, lips not quite touching, but more far apart than as if they’d been on two different worlds.

  What the hell just happened?

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Caayn held Smyrna’s hand tightly, walking down the long, long crushed red velvet carpet that led to the amphitheater’s exit. They were being pelted with flower seeds and ice-cold water.

  Smyrna squealed. “What the hell are they throwing on us?”

  “It’s a tradition. I’ll tell you when we get somewhere safe. Now, let’s go.” He grabbed her and threw her over his back, to the amusement and roaring accolades of the spectators.

  He ran toward the exit and as soon as he was out, he spotted the hand-fast carriage immediately.

  Drawn by four immaculately groomed maccorans, he tucked her inside and then smacked the carriage’s roof so the driver would take off.

  The government had arranged for them to have a suite at the governor’s penthouse, which rivaled almost all the buildings in the city.

  He looked at Smyrna. Her face was red from being thrown over his shoulder. And then it hit him.

  “Cursed streaks of lava. The baby!”

  She looked at him curiously. “What?”

  “I shouldn’t have done that. I could—you might—you could lose the baby.”

  She looked down, her fingers began to play with the fabric of her dress, twisting, turning.

  Caayn put his hands on hers, stilling them. “What is it?”

  “I’m not—” She sighed. “I’m not expecting a baby.”

  “You lost it?”

  She cleared her throat, shook her head. “No. I did not lose it. I—” Her face had lost its color.

  “You didn’t lose it?”

  She shook her head. “I wasn’t pregnant.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Smyrna’s heart felt like it had frozen and then been ripped from her body. She knew she’d come to this point, the point where she had to tell Caayn that everything she’d led him to believe was a lie. But she hadn’t thought of how she’d feel about the disclosure. Of how she’d feel
about him. Damn.

  Wait. She couldn’t tell him everything. She couldn’t tell him why she was looking for Baldwin Porter. What if he turned her in? She’d have to keep that lie going.

  She let a breath out and looked up at his confused face. “I had to.”

  His dark brows drew together. “Why? I would have helped you. I didn’t want a hand-fast any more than you did. I didn’t want this Outreach thing.”

  She felt like she’d been hit by a hammer. She knew he didn’t want this. But… What the heck was she supposed to say to that? What happened to that kiss between them? Now, he’d hate her and think she was a horrible person.

  “I didn’t know. I couldn’t be sure.”

  He barely nodded, slowly drawing away from her.

  “Please understand.”

  Another barely perceptible nod. “I do.”

  But she doubted it.

  His voice was low. “When we get to the suite set up for Nights o’ Sweetness—honeymoon, is what your people call it—I’ll put finding your fiancé into motion.”

  The way he stressed the word fiancé made her want to cringe.

  “Thank you.” The Pulser felt like it was scorching her chest.

  Or maybe that was guilt.

  She looked out of the long horizontal window in front of them, and studied the animals pulling the carriage.

  They resembled camels crossed with armadillos. Four legs, plated armor-looking leather skin covered their backs and sides, while their faces resembled a camel’s.

  What the hell kind of horses were these?

  She wanted to ask him questions about them, but it didn’t seem to be the time.

  Moments later, the carriage pulled into a building that seemed to be constructed of glass and bronze. Standing tall, reaching toward the clouds, the shining creation sprawled out before them. The area that the carriage pulled into was probably some sort of underground garage, complete with vehicles and more of those camel-armadillo creatures.