“I'm so sorry, Matt. It must have been terrible for you.” Her heart ached for him, for the pain she heard in his voice, the sudden stiffening in his arms and chest. She thought he might push her away; instead, he held her a little tighter, kissing the top of her head.
“It was,” Matt agreed bluntly, “she fought for a long time, we went through the chemotherapy and all the other shit, but in the end… nothing could be done to save her.”
Emily turned in his arms, so she could see his face in the dim light. “Are you sure about this, Matt? Pursuing this thing between us?” Again with the ridiculous description of what ever 'this' was. “I get the impression you're uncertain.”
Matt brushed his fingers though her curls, his attention focused on them when he spoke. “The honest answer? I don't know. I find you incredibly attractive; I loved making love to you and I definitely want to do it again. But I can't give you a definitive answer about whether I'm ready for another relationship, yet.”
Emily smiled at his honesty and worked up the courage to ask another pressing question. “Why didn't you want to take me to your place?” She thought she knew the answer, but wanted him to confirm her suspicions.
Matt brushed his fingers through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “Our bedroom… my bedroom. It's the same bed I shared with Caroline; the bed where our children were conceived. I can't…”
Emily pressed her finger to his lips, stopping him. The pain in his eyes was overwhelming, the tightness in his jaw visible as a muscle ticked. “I understand, Matt. It's okay.”
They were silent for a few minutes and Emily waited until Matt relaxed, the tension leaving his body in increments, before she asked her next question. “I'm submissive, Matt. Can you deal with that?”
Matt gazed down at her, his expression intent. “I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it. It interests me, arouses me. I have to think about how it would affect my kids, though.”
“Unless you order me to kneel on the living room floor in front of them, naked, it shouldn't be a problem,” Emily responded evenly.
“So Paul tells me.”
“Paul spoke to you?” His admission came as a surprise. Paul had always kept his dominant streak well hidden in public, never allowing others to know his private predilections. That he'd told Matt – they'd discussed it – her heart warmed towards her friend for making the decision to speak up, in an effort to help Matt.
Matt nodded, rubbing her arm thoughtfully. “Yeah, we talked some tonight. He knew I was flailing, struggling to get my head around everything. He explained some stuff, told me about him and Mandy.” Matt shook his head, a tiny smile curving his lips. “Sure as hell took me by surprise.”
“Lots of people are involved in this lifestyle. To what extent and how extreme is their own choice.”
Matt withdrew into silence for a few minutes and Emily was happy to allow him to process his thoughts. This wasn't a decision she could rush, or force him into making. If he wanted to be part of her life, he had to be happy to do so. She wouldn't push him. “You'd be happy to keep this submission thing in the bedroom?” he questioned.
“I'm happy with that,” Emily agreed quickly. “I'm not completely submerged in the lifestyle, Matt. I don't want to be constantly submissive, like some do.” She leaned up to kiss Matt's cheek, inhaling deeply against his skin, savoring the feel of him.
“What do you like? I know you told me your rules and requirements, what you do and don't like. But honestly, I kinda got snowed under halfway through the conversation.” He smiled ruefully, his whisky eyes twinkling.
“All I really want, all I really need – is a strong man. Someone who takes control in the bedroom, who tells me what he wants, what he needs and expects me to follow those requests without argument. A man who wants to take care of me, protect me.” She paused, stopping herself from overwhelming him with information, cautious about telling him everything she dreamed about having. She wanted a man who cared for and protected her, that was certainly true. She also wanted someone who treated her as a treasured possession, someone who would show pride in her, delight in her, and want to share his life with her. Someone for whom she could give up her control and savor him taking it, pressing her to be the best person she could possibly be. Someone whom she could trust implicitly with her heart, her body, her mind. Her soul.
“You're not into the whips and chains and stuff?” Matt asked.
“No.” She couldn't stop the shudder that travelled through her body, hoping he wouldn't notice it. “I don't like physical pain.”
If he did notice, he didn't mention it. “What about the relationship between us? Would you want to call me Master? Do I have to call you slave? Or other derogatory names? Because I can't – I won't do that.”
“You've been doing your homework.”
“You advised me to Google it. I did.”
Emily smiled softly. He was so direct, so honest. Incredible in so many ways. “Not if you don't want to use them. If you chose to have me call you something in particular, of course I would be expected to meet your wishes if we were in a relationship. But it's not a necessary part of a relationship for me.”
“This is sounding easier than I expected it would,” Matt admitted dryly. “Essentially, all I have to do is be the boss in the bedroom.” He winked. “Think I could man up for that, easily enough.”
Emily chuckled softly, deciding to heat things up a little. She'd learned enough for one night, the desire, which was tangible between them, wouldn't be assuaged by talking. She wanted him, needed to feel his lips on hers, his hands on her body. “Sometimes it's fun to play outside the bedroom and it can be kept between us, only you and I would know what was happening between us. Like when you demanded I eat my pasta at the restaurant.”
“I figured you liked it,” Matt whispered huskily.
“A whisper of your intentions, what you want to do to me, what you want me to do to you. Spoken when we're in public, yet only you and I know about it – that can be an incredible turn on,” Emily continued.
Matt pulled her closer, drawing her onto his lap and Emily inhaled sharply when she felt his hardness against her hip. He leaned forward and captured her lips against his, his fingers fisting in her hair as he swallowed her moan and their teeth clashed together as his tongue probed her mouth, his movements frantic. Emily let her fingers wander, tracing a path down his tightly muscled chest, slipping between the buttons of his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin.
“Jesus, you're driving me wild,” Matt whispered against her mouth. He ran his hand across her breast, tweaking her pebbled nipple between his thumb and forefinger, causing another moan to escape her lips. “I have to make love to you, sweetheart, the need is burning me up inside.”
* * *
Chapter Nine
The woman was going to send him up in flames.
Glorious, soul-destroying flames, which would eat him alive. Kissing her was heaven on earth, the feel of her slight body under his hands was surely the most glorious thing he could imagine. Her scent was jasmine and roses; her hand against his chest was warm, sending tingling sensations through every nerve ending.
Emily pulled away from his kiss, eliciting a moan of delight that he tried hard to swallow. She wriggled out of his arms and stood, taking his hand to pull him from the bench.
“Where are we going?” Matt asked huskily.
Emily drew him further into the park, away from the lighted areas and towards a copse of trees, which was hidden from the pathways. Matt caught on to her intentions and shook his head in wry amusement. “Exhibitionism, huh?” Strangely, the thought didn't bother him, hell, he'd strip under the overhead lights right this minute, if it meant he could sink himself into her warm body. The woman had wrapped him in some sort of spell, where the feel of her, the touch of her lips against his was all he needed and wanted.
Emily giggled, the sound filling his senses and causing another delighted jerk from his dick. “Hardly
exhibitionism. If that was the case, I would have jumped you on the bench.”
“I wouldn't have stopped you,” Matt admitted with a grin. He caught her in his arms, rubbing his hands over her ass and pulling her hard against his erection, both of them groaning at the contact. She linked her arms around his neck and drew him down for another kiss, and Matt happily obliged. He drew his hands up, slipping them under her shirt and cupping her breasts. They were a perfect size, the pebbled nipples begging to be touched as she arched towards him. Matt obliged, deftly unclipping her bra to gain access to the warm skin below. He brushed his thumbs over her hard nipples, swallowing the little moan that escaped her mouth and delighting in the way she molded herself to his body, her hands raking through his hair and holding him close.
He released her breasts and broke away from her mouth, gently unclasping the grip she had in his hair. He wanted to look at her, wanted to see all of her, and tugged at her shirt, lifting it up over her head so he could gaze at her gorgeous breasts in the tiny shafts of light filtering through the trees. Her nipples stood proudly to attention, begging silently for his mouth, but he had other plans. “Touch yourself,” he demanded quietly. “Touch those beautiful breasts and show me how you like it.”
A fresh burst of white-hot craving hit as she instantly did as he requested, running her hands over her breasts, pinching, and rolling her nipples and a tiny moan escaped her lips. Knowing she was doing it for Matt's pleasure made the blood pump even harder into his groin, as he watched her carnal display.
Hell, it had to be the most amazing thing he'd ever seen in his life and knowing she was doing it because of his request, his command – there was nothing comparable to the sense of power he felt.
“Undo your jeans, sweetheart. I want to see your sweet body.”
With exquisite slowness, teasing him with a display that made his mouth dry, Emily did as he requested, her eyes darkening with desire as she unbuttoned her jeans and slowly drew the zipper down. She moved her hands to the waistband, intent on removing her jeans but Matt spoke again. “Turn around, sweetheart. Let me see that ass as you take them off.” Blood was pounding through his veins; he could hear his own heart beating rapidly as Emily turned her back to him and slowly, slowly slipped her jeans down her thighs. He nearly came in his pants when he spied the tiny G-string she wore, the gorgeous mounds of her backside teasing him unmercifully as she bent right over.
“Fuck, you're beautiful,” Matt breathed. He reached for her, rubbing his hands over her beautiful ass. He ran a finger up the crease of her backside, a sense of power overcoming him as she trembled. “Do you want me to touch you, sweetheart?”
Emily nodded, and the trembling increased in her body.
“Stay right there, I want to explore every inch of you,” Matt demanded huskily. He dropped to his knees – honestly, if he hadn't chosen to, he would have fallen – and kissed Emily's ass as he ran his fingers over her silky skin. “Spread your legs, darlin'.”
Emily instantly did as he requested, spreading her legs and bracing herself against the tree behind her. Matt nudged her legs a little further apart, taking his time and running his fingers across her skin from her ankles up across her calves. The trembling in her body increased as her desire heightened, filling him with a sense of power he'd never experienced before. He worked his way up her smooth thighs, finding her sweet core dripping.
“You're so ready for me, aren't you?” he crooned huskily.
Emily nodded, apparently incapable of coherent speech any longer.
“Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” he requested. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
“Fuck me,” Emily whispered, her voice hot with desire. “I want you, all of you, inside me.”
Matt groaned, his dick pulsing crazily and his balls tightening against his groin. He rubbed a thumb across Emily's clit, enjoying her whimpers as she tried to push back against his finger.
“Please, Matt, please,” she begged quietly.
Matt slapped her bottom and growled. “I'm in charge, Em. Don't forget that – I get to tell you how fast this is going to happen.”
Emily whimpered in pleasure and Matt slipped the tiny strand of material from Emily's hips and pulled it down, giving him full access to her slit. He plunged a finger into her, marveling at how tight and hot she was. Her muscles clenched against him, and he pushed a second finger inside. “Fuck, darlin', you're so ready for me.”
Emily pushed back against his fingers, rocking back and forth and moaning softly. Matt captured one breast and rolled her nipple between his fingers, satisfaction blossoming when she moaned a little louder, her pussy contracting against his fingers.
He wanted to lick her, wanted to taste her cream on his tongue but there would be time for that later. For now, he wanted her pleasure on display for him, wanted to see her, and wanted to watch her come. If there was a headier sense of delight to be had in this world, he didn't know where it could come from.
He withdrew his fingers and Emily whimpered a little, bereft at the loss of his touch against her.
“Stand up and turn around,” Matt ordered firmly. He was running blind with this dominant thing, but so far, it seemed to be working, and when Emily turned towards him, he could see her face was flushed. “Touch yourself, make yourself come for me,” he demanded. He wondered if she would do it, didn't know if he was asking too much from her. Would she trust him enough to do it, or would she be embarrassed and refuse?
To his pleasure, Emily sucked on her fingers while staring at him intently, and then lowered her damp fingers to her breasts, circling her erect nipples as she traced her lips with her tongue. With her right hand, she trailed down over her ribs, circling her belly button before she lowered them down, down until she touched the juncture between her legs. Her eyes remained on his as she fingered her clit with her right hand, her left hand still toying with the swollen bud of her nipple. A moan escaped her lips as she heightened her own excitement.
It was the most sexually arousing display Matt had ever seen, something Caroline would never have done. Matt stepped closer to Emily, offering his fingers to her, still wet with her juices. “Taste it, baby. Taste yourself on my skin.”
The tip of her tongue flicked out, snaking across his fingers as she carefully licked her own juices off his skin. Matt watched, mesmerized as she fingered her clit some more, then plunged two of her fingers deep into her pussy.
It was Matt's undoing, he groaned in delight as he watched her display, reaching for his belt and undoing it as he watched her, completely engrossed by her display. “You gonna come, sweetheart?” He unzipped his pants, pulling himself from his boxers and began to rub a hand along his length.
“Not… without… permission,” Emily panted, her eyes closed as she pumped her fingers more frantically in and out of her body.
Her words threw Matt for a second. She needed him to tell her she was allowed to climax? Where had that come from? Thinking back, he remembered telling her to come for him in the hotel, but that had been in the heat of the moment, not something he'd assumed she would require permission to achieve.
“Please, Matt, please, please – may I have permission?” Emily whispered huskily. The strain was clear in her voice and Matt had no doubt she wouldn't come if he didn't tell her she could.
Matt wrapped his arms around her petite body, shuddering with need as his cock rubbed against her naked stomach. He leaned down, whispered against her ear. “Come, Emily. Come now.”
She exploded in his arms, her soft cries and trembling nearly making him lose control. Matt held her tightly against him, rubbing his hands over her back to soothe her until she settled a little. When she did, he lifted her into his arms and lowered her until her clit lay against his cock. “Wrap your legs around my waist, sweetheart.”
She did as he requested and he lowered her slowly onto his cock, the feel of her around him was exquisite, hot, tight, and dripping for him. Matt began to pump into her slowly, savoring the
feel of her smooth legs clutching around his waist, the tightness of her body drawing him in, clenching all around him.
“Harder, Matt, please, harder,” she moaned softly, her arms wrapped around his neck and her breath hot against his neck.
Matt slapped her buttock again and grinned. “Bossy little sub,” he muttered, but he increased his tempo, pushing himself to the hilt in her tight sweetness. He wasn't going to last long and he counted backwards in his head, trying to slow his approaching climax. It was hopeless, listening to Emily's satisfied mewls against his neck was his undoing and within seconds, his balls tightened and he pumped his load into her. Emily tightened around him, screaming his name as she orgasmed for a second time, squeezing him, drawing everything from him until he could see stars behind his closed eyelids.
Matt stumbled forward, leaning Emily gently against the tree as he panted, his knees weak and his body covered in sweat. He nuzzled her breasts with his lips as he regained his composure. She was everything he had dreamed of and he was loathe to release her, didn't want to uncouple their joining. Her body and aroma surrounded him, filling him with a sense of completeness, which had been missing for a long, long time. “That was… amazing.”
“It was,” Emily agreed quietly. She was still wrapped around his body, her heart pounding against his lips as he kissed her breast.
“I didn't use a condom,” Matt announced with a groan. The thought hadn't even occurred to him, he'd been so wrapped up in the moment, and all he could concentrate on was entering her, having her surround him. “Shit, I'm so sorry.” Was she on birth control? Hell, the last thing he needed was to get her pregnant.
“Don't be sorry, Matt. I wanted it too. You don't have to worry; I'm tested regularly for STD's.”
“That was the least of my worries.” The thought hadn't occurred to him, he didn't like recalling that she slept with other men. It took the shine off what he'd just shared with her.
Emily snuggled closer to him, causing his cock to spark back into life. How the hell did she do that? He shouldn't be ready for another round – but amazingly, he was. Down boy, he cursed.
Contrasting Lives Page 10
