Summer's Song

by Lindi Peterson

  So she has to continue.

  “Because you obviously inspired him considering his new release is titled Summer’s Song. Do you want to tell us about your relationship with the Christian singer, Levi Preston?”

  Relationship? What does she know, and how did she find out? Oh, there was that kissing incident in Georgia after she stomped out of my house. Of course the crew saw us.

  That was then. This is now. Regroup. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but there’s really nothing to tell regarding Levi. I did meet him while I was on the east coast. I met him through Skeet Lawson, the great country music singer. Skeet Lawson is a great man.”

  “And old enough to be your grandfather. I think the audience is more interested in what went on between you and Levi.”

  “I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint, then. There’s nothing to tell.”

  “You know,” Meghan says, with a sly look about her face, “what you’re not saying is saying a lot.”

  I smile, but don’t speak.

  “We invited him to be on the show today.”

  If I weren’t sitting, I’d be on the floor. In a big heap. My insides are jumping, and I feel like what a teenager must feel like when she first falls head over heels for a guy, and she knows she’s going to see him.

  A part of me wants to smile really big. Tears threaten, and I blink really hard. This makeup will turn into a nightmare if I cry. I try to keep my face from showing any emotion, but I’m about to burst with excitement.

  “His publicist declined.”

  Poof! Just like that my insides are caving. “Like I said, there is nothing between us.” I force the words out between lips that are tired of pretending.

  As much as I didn’t want to talk about my past, I think I’d rather be defending myself against my own actions than hiding the breaking of my heart as it splinters into several million pieces in front of several million people.

  But I came here with a mission in mind. “I’d really like to sing something for you.”

  Applause resounds through the studio. Shouts of Summer, Summer, Summer roar through the audience.

  “By all means. We’d love to have you sing.”

  I get up and walk to the performing area of the stage, where I nod to Ted backstage. He brings out a stool and my guitar.

  “Thank you.”

  I sit on the stool, legs tightly together and start strumming. The audience quiets, and Meghan is glaring. At me. Only me.

  I don’t care.

  I start singing.

  I know I’m not good enough for You

  I know I can’t sing loud enough for You

  But everything I do,

  Every song I sing I sing for You

  I sing for You

  I know Your love is real, now I see

  I know I love because You first loved me

  Now all the love I give

  I give it all to You,

  I give to You

  My tears they fall

  You paid it all

  So my broken heart cries out to You

  My life has changed

  Been rearranged

  By the love You’ve rained down on me

  Now I see

  I’ll think about You all of my days

  I’ll remember You and follow Your ways

  You live inside of me

  Because of You I’m free

  Yes, now I’m free

  My life has changed

  Been rearranged

  By the love You’ve rained down on me

  Now I see

  Now I see that I can live for You

  See that I can love for You

  See that I can sing for You

  Now I’m free

  Now I see

  “I thought Meghan Cascade was going to pop a blood vessel!” Valentine starts the car to drive us from the studio. “I loved your song. Really, I did.”

  “Thanks.” I feel good. Really good. After the song, Meghan ushered me backstage where she promptly kicked me out. Not sure why. The fans screamed and screamed like they loved the song. Too bad I didn’t put it on the CD.

  Valentine is driving. We are winding are way around the studio lot, looking for the exit.

  “Turn right.”

  Valentine makes a last minute turn. I see the gate up ahead.

  “And,” Valentine continues, “she’s probably still sitting there wondering what your ‘it feels so good to be fudge’ comment is all about. Because I know I’m wondering.”

  I may not be able to have Levi, but I am certainly ready to be who God created me to be. “Can we talk about it later? Please?”

  Valentine slams on the brakes. “Oh! What is that person doing? I almost hit him!”

  A studio golf cart pulls in front of our car. It continues on toward the gate.

  “They must be in a hurry,” I say.

  We pull up behind the golf cart. The guy in the cart is talking to the attendant. The attendant starts talking on his walkie-talkie.

  “I’m ready to go. I wonder if he can move so we can just go around and out?” I ask.

  A knock on my window startles me. I turn my head and am face to face with Levi.

  “Levi?” I hardly believe my eyes.

  He steps back and tries to open the locked door. I click the button but nothing happens. “Unlock my door, Valentine. Please?”

  “What’s going on?” she asks as the lock clicks.

  I’m not thinking at all as I open the door. All I know is it is so good to see him.

  When I step out of the car he takes a couple of steps towards me and opens his arms.

  I fall into his embrace. His familiar scent calms me as his hand rubs my back. “Summer,” he whispers close to my ear.

  “It’s me,” I mouth, but no sound comes out.

  He’s holding me so tightly. I don’t want it to end.

  “Hey, you’re stopping traffic. Move it!”

  “Summer?” Valentine calls. I turn, and she’s standing by the car.

  “I’ll take you home,” Levi says. “That is, if you want me to.”

  I don’t hesitate. “Valentine, go on. I’ll meet you at the house in a little while.”

  I turn around to face Levi. “Hi.”

  “Hi. Come on. My car is over here.”

  He grabs my hand, and we head away from the gate.

  Tail lights flash on a black SUV as the car unlocks. Levi walks me around to the passenger side, but he doesn’t open the door. Instead he pulls me to him.

  “I’ve done nothing but miss you.” His gaze locks into mine.

  Now the tears flow, and I don’t even try to stop them. “I’ve missed you, too. And I’ve lost Sam. Levi, they said I wasn’t a good mother.”

  “You’re a great mother. I’ve seen it firsthand.”

  “It hurts so badly.”

  “I wish I could change it all. But I can only change what I can. And I was crazy to let you walk out on me. More than crazy. I should have gotten in my car and followed you.” His thumb follows my tears down my face.

  “But you can’t. We can’t. My life is totally opposite yours. That whole scene in Georgia may be my life forever. I can’t put you through that. You’ve done so much to get away from that sense of insecurity.” My breath becomes shaky.

  He kisses the tears off my other cheek. “This is all the security I need.”

  He kisses me with a passion I didn’t know existed. Although I don’t want to, we stop kissing. My body is pressed against his. “I want you to be happy.”

  “Then say you’re mine. I’m not happy without you.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. I’m grown up, Summer. I’m not that young boy. Sure, that was a messed-up life. But nothing will stop me from loving you. Nothing.”

  Love. He just said he loved me. All those things Skeet talked about regarding God come flooding into my mind. Unconditional love. A love that we don’t deserve, yet it’s given to us, like a gift. Can this be real? C
an this really be my life?

  I look at Levi. “Skeet said that about God. Nothing we do can stop Him from loving us. It’s just so hard to believe.”

  “Believe it, Summer. Believe me.”

  A yes to Levi means my whole world changes. It’s a scary yet beautiful thought. But his childhood keeps hanging out in my mind. “I love you. I don’t want you to ever regret us.”

  “I’ve had a lot of regrets in my life. You’ll never be one of them. Please don’t let our pasts ruin our future.”

  I rest my hands on his waist, not believing what is taking place. I’m trying to grasp how beautiful my life will be. “Yes. I’m in. I’m yours. I’m fudge.”

  His kiss seals our love. Gentle, yet firm; sweet, yet mind-blowing. I’m sure this is a parallel for our life.

  After our kiss, I finally catch my breath. “I fired Coleman.”

  A surprised, but happy expression lights his face. “You did?”

  “I did.”

  “That’s my girl. I bet he’s scrambling.”

  “I’m not even paying him any attention. I’ve been too busy listening to this very cool demo CD Skeet gave me.”

  He smiles. “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah. And I love it.”

  “I saw your gorgeous face and heard your incredible voice in every word, every note. God let me know we weren’t over.”

  I tilt my head back. “What do you mean?”

  “He stirred my heart for you. Stirred a patience in me that I haven’t ever felt. And if I get to hold you like this for the rest of our lives, it was worth every day apart.”

  I can’t believe this man is mine. I can’t believe he’s back.

  He leans towards me. Our lips touch. His kiss takes away all the pain I’ve felt over the last few days.

  My breathing is shaky when he pulls back. “Don’t leave,” I whisper.

  He kisses me again. His hands caress the back of my neck while I hold onto him with all I have. If I thought I felt his kisses before, I am living them right now.

  I think we stop because we need to breathe. Moments pass. I close my eyes wondering why my heart hasn’t jumped out of my chest.

  “I have a confession to make,” Levi says.

  My brain is lulled into that being-kissed-by-Levi-numbness. “What’s that?”

  “I was cardboard.”

  I sit up and take notice of this confession. “Really? You cardboard? How?”

  He holds my hands in his. My pulse jumps just like my heart.

  “I wanted to be on the Meghan Cascade show today. But my manager wouldn’t allow it. He said no way, no how, and I caved.”

  “Why wouldn’t he allow it? Did he think it would be bad publicity for you to be on the show with me?”

  I’m kidding as I ask the question.

  “That’s about it.”

  He’s not kidding with his answer. “Really?”

  He rubs my fingers with his. “Really.”

  My fabulous just-kissed-Levi feeling dives a little. “Well, I wonder what he would think if he saw us now.”

  “I wonder what he will think when you’re my wife.”

  If any part of me was still lulled by his kissing, it now roared to life. “What?”

  He opens the door for just a second before shutting it. He then bends down on one knee. The true, classic, proposal pose. “Summer, will you marry me?”

  He flips open a black velvet box. A glorious, sparkling square cut diamond pops into view.

  My body and mind feel like jelly. Is this real?

  “You’re making me a little nervous, here.” His voice comes out strong, while his eyes seem to be pleading.

  “Levi. This is such a surprise. I want to say yes. I really do. But you know I can’t leave here. Todd’s home is here, so Sam is here. I can’t leave.” My heart feels like it’s being ripped in two.

  “Did I ask you to marry me or move?”

  I chuckle. “You asked me to marry you.”

  “I did. Are you going to answer?”

  “Yes. I mean yes, I will marry you.”

  He stands, then takes the ring out of the box and places it on my finger.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Just like you. You need to pick a wedding date, and it needs to be soon. Real soon.”

  “What do you mean Todd wants to change things?” I look at Mr. Powell, my attorney.

  “Just what I said. It seems he’s having some life changes.”

  I’m uncomfortable. I don’t like lawyer’s offices. Levi is in Texas packing his things to move here. Our very small wedding is in two weeks.

  “What kind of life changes?” I can only imagine.

  “Apparently his band is doing really well.”

  “They have the number one song in the nation. I’d say he is doing well.”

  “According to his lawyer he’ll be out of the country for six months, minimum, on a world tour.”

  Mr. Powell flips through the pile of papers on his desk. “He’s wants you to have Sam. Full-time.”

  I’m glad I’m sitting. “Are you sure? Because this is no joking matter to me.”

  Mr. Powell smiles. “It’s all here, Ms. Sinclair. And yes, he’s willing to offer you full custody with standard visitation rights for himself. Provided …”

  “Ah. I knew it. Provided what?”

  Mr. Powell moved his wire-rimmed glasses down on his nose. “Provided he continues to receive a small stipend each month. For, you know, caring for Sam when he’s with him.”

  “Small? How small?”

  “Ten thousand dollars.”

  I shake my head. “Really? I already give him fifty thousand a month in alimony. He’s making money—lots of money now.”

  “All in all I think you need to sign here, and let’s be done with it. I don’t see this kind of change of heart very often.”

  “Do you have any idea why he changed his mind? Why all of a sudden he’s willing to give me custody?”

  “There’s no revelations, Ms. Sinclair. I think he’s gotten what he truly wanted.”

  “The money?”

  “Just my opinion. And you have changed.”

  I cock my head to the left. “Come again?”

  “This is from my perspective only. You’ve changed from the girl I met a year ago when you hired me. I knew our case was doomed, but frankly I wanted the money.”

  “Hey, at least you’re honest.”

  “At times.”

  “Now before me sits a woman, not a girl. A woman who loves her son and is willing to change her lifestyle to be there for him. And I think it has to do with you realizing who God is. I can see it in the way you act.”

  I think about Skeet, Lawson’s Ledge, Levi. The grace God has given me. “Thank you for all you’ve done, Mr. Powell. Where do I sign?”

  “Mother, my wedding won’t be complete unless you’re there.”

  She tosses both dresses I bought her on her bed. “I can’t believe you’re marrying the God guy. It’s career suicide.”

  “So what if it is? Mother, I don’t have to work again. We’ll be fine.”

  “You don’t understand what it’s like to grow up with nothing. I can’t go back to that life.”

  I sit on her bed. “No one’s asking you to.”

  “So you say. You bought that awful cabin in Georgia. You and God guy are moving there right after the wedding, taking Sam. Nothing’s going to be the same.”

  I want to see her side. I really do. “I know you don’t like it there, but we won’t be there all year around. We’ll spend some time here.”

  “What’s so special about him? Is it because he wrote you a CD? There are plenty of men out there who would write you a CD.”

  It’s going to take me a while to make mother understand my relationship with Levi. Her distrust of men has followed her all these years. But she’s still my mother.

  And I’m still her daughter.

  “I think either one of these dresses will look great on
you. Please say you’ll be there.”

  She sits next to me. “They’re both pretty.”

  “I paid full price.”

  Mother smiles. “You never were a good shopper. But you’ll do okay as a mom.”

  I shake my head. Did I hear her right? “What?”

  “You will. Especially with God guy around. At least he can handle the emergencies.”

  Smiling, I put my arm around her. “Thanks.”

  She shakes off my arm and stands, then grabs the lavender dress. “I think I’ll wear this one.”

  “You’ll be a beautiful mother of the bride.”

  “Don’t doll me up too much. I’d hate to outshine the bride.”

  I can’t help but laugh. She’ll always be Mother, but she’s my mother.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  December. Lawson’s Ledge, Georgia

  “Is he asleep?” Levi asks as I walk into the living room.

  “He is. Finally.”

  “Good. Now it’s time to play Santa.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ll need to fatten you up before you’re any kind of a Santa.”

  Levi pulls boxes out of the coat closet, then sets them in front of the Christmas tree. “I know how to put together toys. That’s all the Santa you need, Mrs. Claus.”

  The lights on the tree blink colorfully behind Levi.

  “I love being a Mrs.”

  “I love having you as my Mrs.”

  He grabs me then kisses me. I wonder if I’ll ever tire of kissing him.

  I doubt it.

  “Besides,” he continues, “you’re going to be fat a whole lot quicker than I am.”

  I place my hand on my stomach, and his hand covers mine. “It will be awhile. We just found out today.”

  “Let’s hope it’s one,” Levi says. “Twins run in my family.”

  We walk over and look out of the window to the dark night. I turn to face him. “I wouldn’t mind having two little Levi’s running around.”

  “I’ll remember those words.” He kisses me. “After all, you do have the purrfect man.”

  I laugh. “You’ll never let me live that song down, will you?”

  “One day, I will. Don’t forget Blake is coming tomorrow for that story you promised him. And Christmas dinner.”

  “He gets to announce our news to the world.”

  “It’s really nice what you’re doing for him.”

  “What we’re doing.”

  “I love you, Summer.”