Clean Start

by S. M. Shade

  Life is long, wonderful, and horrific. If you can find someone who makes the bad parts bearable and the good parts better, you should hold onto that person with everything you have because it’s a rare gift not everyone is given.

  “I’m also buying his house. I don’t know exactly when yet, but we’ll be moving.”

  Her smile is a little reluctant, and I understand. If it were the other way around, I’d be disappointed too. “That’s so amazing. Does Bailey know yet? She’s going to be thrilled.”

  “Not yet. I’m going to talk to her when she gets home. George also gave me the next two weeks off, so I can sneak in a little rest before everything gets crazy. I’m going to take her to visit my parents in Illinois. We’ll probably stay a couple of days.”

  “There’s the bus now,” she points out, and I get to my feet. “This doesn’t change anything, V. We’ll still see each other all the time.”

  A quick shadow seems to cloud her face before it’s replaced by a smile. “Damn right. I know where you’re moving to. Now go tell your girl and make her day.”

  # # #

  “Grandma!” Bailey shrieks, nearly knocking my mother over with her hug.

  “Lordy, girl, you’re taller than me!” Mom hugs her and kisses the top of her head before coming over to hug me.

  “You have to bring this girl to visit more often. She’s growing up too fast!”

  “I tried to stop feeding her, but she still kept growing.”

  “Oh, hush.” She slaps me on the shoulder. “Come on in and sit down. We were just talking about your wonderful news.”

  “The new house has a screened porch where I can play my guitar,” Bailey tells her excitedly, after hugging her grandpa as well.

  “I’m in the middle of making a roast for dinner. Why don’t you come help and tell me all about it,” Mom offers, and Bailey follows her back to the kitchen.

  Dad sits in his usual spot in the recliner. He reaches down to the mini fridge he has wedged between the chair and the wall, and pulls out two beers, tossing me one.

  It’s only been a few months since I’ve seen them, but it hits me how much they’re starting to age. I really should visit more often.

  “Congrats. I always wanted to own a business. Just never worked out,” he says, flashing me a smile. “Don’t fuck it up.”

  “Yeah, thanks, dad. Once I get moved, I’ll have two extra bedrooms. You and Mom will have to come and visit. I plan to put a pool table in the garage.”

  “We’ll be there.”

  “How have you and Mom been doing?”

  “I’m good. Your mom is as batty as an underground cavern, as usual.”

  He complains, but they have one of those rare relationships people dream about. They met in high school, married a few years after, and just celebrated their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary last year. “I meant your health. Any more problems?”

  “Nah, healthy as a horse. Thanks to your mother’s paranoia, though, I have to eat like a damned rabbit. One little heart attack…”

  The small heart attack he suffered last year scared the hell out of all of us, and I’m glad Mom is making him stick to his diet. “That rabbit food stole some pounds from you. You look good.”

  “Yeah, I haven’t been this light since I was your age.” He eyes my slim build. “Don’t know where you got your genes from. We did have a skinny mailman for a while.”

  “I heard that, you codger,” Mom says, stepping into the room. “And that better be your only beer before dinner.” She turns to me. “Bailey is going to walk down to the corner store with me. She needs some feminine items.”

  Shit. I forgot. I should be keeping track. I’ll have Veronica show me how to count the days since I’m sure there’s some female secret involved. I know they don’t just start on the first of the month like a utility bill. “Thanks, mom.”

  As soon as the back door shuts, Dad turns to me. “Have you heard from that bitch you married at all?”

  “Not a peep.”

  “Girl needs a mother.”

  Sighing, I sit back and take a few swallows of beer. “Not that kind of mother. It’s been over five years. Bailey barely remembers her anymore.”

  Dad nods. “No mother beats a bad mother any day, but there are a lot of fish in the sea, son. Reel one in for your girl.”

  After considering it for a moment, I ask, “Can you keep a secret? Even from Mom?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’m seeing someone, but things are kind of at a standstill. Her name is Veronica and she has a five year old son. We spend a lot of time together. The kids get along and Bailey loves her.”

  “Is the boy’s father in the picture?”

  “No, he doesn’t see him. And he’s a great kid. We just…neither of us is willing to take the risk.”

  He sits back, giving me the same scrutinizing look that has always made me weigh my words. “What risk?”

  Is he kidding? “Both of our kids have had a parent abandon them. They need to know they’re the most important thing to us. I need Bailey to know she always comes first, that she’ll always have me.”

  “I don’t see how seeing another woman would negate any of that. You stepped up from the beginning with Bailey. And you’ve sacrificed years of your life raising her alone, which is damned commendable, but it doesn’t mean you have to be alone forever. What’s your real worry?”

  “The same as Veronica’s. If we get together, then things fall apart, Bailey loses another female in her life, and Veronica’s son loses another father figure.”

  “But both kids are fine with you dating?” His forehead crinkles.

  “Ah…they don’t know. They think we’re friends. And Aiden is too young to pay much attention.”

  Dad gives me the same stare he’s given me for years when he thinks I’m being stupid. One of the last times I remember seeing it was when I told him I was going to try to get Bailey’s mother back, right after she ran off. “Let me get this straight. You two sneak around and see each other to keep it hidden from your kids, even though her son likes you, and Bailey likes Veronica?”

  Running my hand through my hair, I sigh, “It’s not that simple.”

  His scrutinizing gaze takes me right back to childhood. “Do you love her?”

  “I’m afraid I’m getting there.”

  He huffs and leans forward, his eyes on mine. “Don’t bullshit me, kid. Do you love her?”

  “Yes, damn it.”

  “Does she feel the same?”

  “I think so, but I don’t know if she’d admit it.”

  “Then don’t be a coward. Life’s a risk, and kids learn that lesson too. Don’t let the worthless bitch you married make you afraid to try again. Bailey is a smart kid. She can handle it.”

  “And if the kids get attached, then we break up after a year or even longer?” I snap, aggravated at the way he’s breaking everything down.

  He shrugs and pops open another beer, handing it to me. “Then you act like adults and let the kids visit the ex. They’d still benefit from it.”

  He makes it sound so simple and obvious.

  Fuck, maybe it is.

  “I’ll give it some thought.”

  Leaning back, he nods. “You do that, but don’t wait too long. I know the days can seem long sometimes, and so can the weeks, hell, even the months can drag, but the years, son, they fly.”

  The front door opens, and Bailey enters with my mom. I still see her as that smiley toddler, but she’s a young woman now. “Yeah, I’m starting to realize that.”

  Throughout the rest of the visit, my father’s words play in my head. I’m not sure whether I could convince Veronica to make a go of this, but more and more I think I’m going to try. A lot is going to change for us in the next few months, and I don’t want to add stress to Bailey’s life, but once we’re settled in our new place, I’ll talk to V.

  Because my father is right. It all goes by so fast.

  Chapter Nine

&
nbsp; Veronica

  It’s been a long day. Aiden was running a low fever when he woke up this morning, so I didn’t want to send him to preschool and get the other kids sick. He seems to be feeling fine now though, and his temp is back to normal. Kids are weird.

  “I only have one more room, Ade. Do you want to come with me?”

  “Yes!” He leaps up from the hotel lobby couch, where he’s spent the morning watching cartoons. It’s like I let him out of prison. There’s nothing worse to a little boy than having to sit still.

  He follows me through the breezeway, and I cross my fingers that this will be an easy room. We seemed to skip spring this year and went right into summer, with the thermometer climbing into the nineties and the humidity keeping pace. My shirt clings to me uncomfortably, and I think I’ve sweat through the panties I’m wearing. Gross.

  Aiden bops along like it doesn’t affect him, grinning as we go into the room. “Don’t touch anything,” I warn as usual.

  While I strip the bed, he wanders into the bathroom. Maybe five seconds later, he comes running back out. “Mom! I think somebody needs an ambulance!”

  Oh fuck. What did he just see? If some junkie has overdosed in the bathroom and he walked in on it, I’ll never forgive myself.

  As soon as I step through the door to the bathroom, he cries, “Somebody lost their penis!”

  Maybe finding a junkie would be better. A big flesh colored dildo is suction cupped to the wall of the shower, the head pointing up. The slit looks like an eye that’s having a look around, and possibly judging my parenting.

  A snort of laughter jumps from my throat as I have to speak a sentence I never thought I’d have to say. “Nobody lost a penis. It’s fake.”

  Aiden reaches out a hand, and I pull him back. “Don’t touch it! It’s…dirty.” I’m assuming, because thank fuck it isn’t obviously used, but still, I doubt they stuck it there for a joke. Let’s hope Aiden doesn’t doubt it.

  “Like Bill’s fake leg?” His face screws up, and I know he’s picturing someone with a prosthetic penis. I’m going to need a raise to pay for his therapy. I open my mouth to explain, but an excited smile jumps across his face. “Can I get a fake one? If I had two, I could sword fight them!” He starts jumping around, pretending to swing a sword.

  “No, it’s just a joke. Somebody thought it’d be funny to leave it there.”

  “A joke? Like my fake dog poo?”

  “Yes, exactly like that.”

  “Oh.” He stares at it for a moment. “Can I have it?”

  “No, it’s dirty and it’s going in the trash as soon as I grab some gloves.” Steering him out of the bathroom, I dig in my pocket and hand him a dollar. “Why don’t you get a root beer from the vending machine? I’ll be done here soon.”

  Distraction is my best bet right now.

  “Okay!” He takes the money and races off.

  The machine is right down the hall, and I peek out to watch him. Max joins him, chatting with him while they peruse the snack selection, so I know he’s okay. All the rooms are empty so there’s no stranger danger at the moment.

  I grab my gloves and step back inside, shaking my head. Menstrual cramps are trying to split me in half, I’m starving and sweating in places I didn’t know had sweat glands, and my kid found a dildo I now have to dispose of. It’s a safe bet the day can’t get worse.

  With plastic gloves in place, I reach for the monster that’s been somewhere I don’t want to think about, and tug, but it’s really stuck onto the wall. I pull harder and it comes off with a pop and falls into the tub.

  Ew. I’ve cleaned up a lot of gross stuff, but this is really skeeving me out. I quickly pick it up and chuck it into the trash bag, breathing a sigh of relief. When I return the trash bag to the cart, I check on Aiden, who is now sitting beside Max on the curb, eating a bag of chips and drinking his root beer. Max waves at me, and I mouth a thank you. I know he’s keeping him entertained, though I can only imagine what Aiden is telling him.

  The room isn’t bad other than the disgusting sex toy, so it won’t take me long. All I’m thinking about is a nice, cool shower, and the chocolate shake I plan to stop for on the way home when the ceiling seems to open up. Horrible smelling liquid rains down on me and the entire room, soaking me to the skin in seconds before I can even figure out what the hell is happening.

  “Mom!” I look up to see Aiden standing just outside the doorway. “The fire alarm is ringing!”

  “Stay right there!” I shout.

  The sprinklers are still spraying and the water raining down has cleared, but not fast enough. Everything is covered in the sludgy, gray water that must’ve sat in those pipes for years. I don’t smell smoke, but adrenaline kicks in anyway. Sprinklers don’t go off unless there’s a fire.

  Aiden holds his nose when I rush out of the room. “Ugh, Mom, you smell like an egg fart.”

  Yeah, thanks for that, kid.

  We rush down to the office, and every room we pass has water pouring out under the doors until we get to the front of the building, which seems to have been spared the rancid water treatment.

  Jada, the clerk on duty today, bursts out laughing when I step into the office, and clamps a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry! I just. I’m sorry.”

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “Something triggered the sprinklers in the back half of the building.”

  “Nothing is on fire?”

  “No, Mike is looking into it now, but the fire department is on the way to double check.” She grabs her purse and hands me my bag and keys. “We’re all supposed to evacuate until they show up.”

  “Mom! A firetruck! Look!” Aiden shrieks, dancing around me as we step out into the sun baked parking lot.

  “I see it. Let’s wait over here, out of the way.” We gather on the opposite side of the lot, under a tree since it’s sweltering in the sun.

  I’m grateful no one was hurt and that it isn’t a real fire, but worry creeps in when I realize what this means. There’s no way the hotel stays open while they’re dealing with this. I don’t know how much time this is going to put me out of work, but even a few days will hurt us.

  Mike, the manager, approaches us, wiping at the back of his neck. “Veronica, Jada, you can go on home. I’ll call you as soon as I know what our next step is.”

  “I’m sorry, Mike. I hope insurance covers everything,” I tell him.

  “Me too.”

  Jada wastes no time leaving, but I’m not going to get out of here without letting Aiden talk to a firefighter. It’d break his heart.

  “Mom! They’re going to leave! I want to see the truck up close!”

  “Just for a minute, Ade. I’m all gross and I need a shower.”

  The fireman couldn’t be nicer. They spend twenty minutes with Aiden, letting him check out the truck, beep the horn, and try on one of their heavy coats. He rushes up to me with one of the firefighters in tow, talking excitedly about everything he’s learned. I’m only half listening, smelling like a dumpster is a bit distracting, until I hear him announce.

  “And he said there wasn’t a fire and it may have been a prank. A prank is like a joke, just like the fake penis we found in the tub.” While I’m trying to look anywhere but at the handsome, grinning firefighter, Aiden goes on, oblivious to the fact I want to climb under the truck. “Hey! Maybe the same guy who left the joke penis played this joke too!”

  The firefighter grins at me, and I shake my head with a sigh. “Thanks for taking the time to show him the truck and everything.” I grab Aiden’s hand. “Come on, we need to go. I need a shower.”

  “Bye Mr. Fireman!” Aiden cries, with a toothy smile.

  “Bye Aiden! Be good for your mom.” He winks at me. “She’s had a rough day.”

  Two days pass before I hear from Mike, and fear streaks through me at his first words. “It’ll take at least a month before we can open for business again. The water damage has also exposed some mold issues among other thi
ngs, so I’ve decided to close for a month while repairs are being made.”

  A month of no income.

  A month, at least.

  “Veronica, are you there?”

  “Yeah.” I swallow and flop onto the couch. “I’m here. I’m sorry to hear that. At least the insurance is picking up the tab.”

  “Yeah, and as long as we have to shut down anyway, I’m going to get some remodeling done that I’ve been meaning to do for years. Which is why I need to ask a favor of you.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’d like to take my family on a vacation. It’s been years since we’ve been able to get away. Max will be overseeing the work and keeping in touch with me, but I’d like to have someone here full time. Just to keep up the lobby and the few unaffected rooms, keep an eye on the place at night, set the alarm, etc. Suite one hundred wasn’t damaged, so I wanted to see if you would be willing to live here for the next two weeks. I know it’ll be a pain in the ass since you have a young kid, and there may be a day or two that they shut off the water, but I’ll pay you double your monthly salary to stay for two weeks.”

  Is he kidding? Two months of pay just to stay there and keep an eye on the place? “Sure, Mike, I can do that. When do you want to leave?” I reply, trying not to sound as relieved as I am. This could easily have been the phone call that meant I would be job hunting.

  “Tomorrow if that’s not too soon. Around noon?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “Oh, and the pool wasn’t damaged. Max will keep up with the maintenance so you’ll have something to do while you’re here.”

  “Sounds good. Aiden will be thrilled.”

  “Thanks, Veronica. I’ll fill you in on the little stuff when you get here.”