Compulsive Fascinations

by N. Isabelle Blanco

  “Mikael . . . shut up.” Shaking my head, cheeks burning, I turned to Calum.

  Standing at the door to the conference room, one hand still on the handle, his eyes bounced between us. I saw him reassessing the situation in his head, realizing the truth of what was happening. The tension in him slowly eased.

  “I’m sorry about him,” I said, motioning to Mikael. “Apparently I can’t take him anywhere.”

  “Don’t apologize for me, honey. I stand by what I said. I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat.”

  I kicked Mikael under the table. “I’ll kill you.”

  Mikael’s face melted into a tender smile. “Look at you. Oh my God you’re actually jealous.”

  Ohmigod. Why was he doing this to me in front of Calum? And Lorraine could walk back in at any moment. My father would kill me if I messed this up because of my personal issues.

  “Livana.”

  The sound of Calum saying my name made my mouth go dry. Licking my lips, nervous, I faced him again. His stare was locked on me, forceful, direct. His jaw twitched once.

  I licked my lips again, my mind racing with a million things I wanted to tell him and the fact that he’d come here for me.

  Maybe I should’ve doubted it, but I knew it deep inside.

  The way he stared at me, the charge of primal awareness that said I was his one and only focus right then, merely fueled my certainty.

  “Ca–Calum.” I swore that every single thing that went through my head reflected itself in the tone of my voice when I said his name—happiness, anxiety, pain, gratitude, and curiosity.

  That was all it took for the last of his tension to leave him. However, his eyes didn’t lose their hard edge. If anything, they got even more intense. Even more determined.

  “My meeting,” I said weakly, curling my hands into fists under the conference table to control the urge to jump to my feet and head to him.

  “I know. Mine, too. But you aren’t leaving here without me.”

  My breathing became ragged at his tone. A perfect match to the light in his eyes.

  “Oh God,” Mikael groaned low, as if in agony.

  I ignored him, blinking up at Calum, every shield I’d ever erected destroyed.

  I was bare.

  Translucent.

  Blinking back tears because I truly couldn’t believe he’d come after me that way. That he still wanted to . . . well, to talk to me at least.

  Maybe someone else in my shoes would have been annoyed that he’d grabbed the inDasign construction account while knowing that I handled their marketing account. Maybe I should have been angry that he showed up there without warning. That he threatened my meeting with his presence and the affect it had on me.

  I wasn’t. I was so freaking glad to see him.

  And unbelievably flattered. On every level that made me female.

  Shit. We hadn’t said more than a few words to each other, none of them about the issue standing between us, and I’d already forgiven him. My body was more than ready to have my hands on him again.

  I was such a lost cause that I could barely stand myself, and yet that man, that gorgeous man who could have anyone he wanted, stood there for me.

  I was undone.

  And he saw it.

  His expression changed subtlety.

  He muttered a soft “fuck”. A sudden ache exploded between my thighs. He took one look over his shoulder then focused back on me. “Ms. Morani is on her way back here. You have ten minutes, Livana, to finish up and meet me by the elevators.”

  “But, your meeting—”

  Calum interrupted me, his voice tight and controlled. “I have an entire team here. They can handle it without me.”

  “But my meeting—”

  “No ‘buts’ Livana.”

  “Oh my . . .” Mikael took in a breath, as if bracing himself in the face of Calum’s demanding aura.

  I didn’t blame him. Loyalty to my father and our company was the only thing keeping me from jumping to my feet and following Calum straight out of the building.

  “I’ll take the train back to the office. Take him in the limo, girl. You take him hard.”

  I didn't have a chance to respond to Mikael. Calum moved to the side just as Lorraine came up behind him.

  “Mr. Alexander. What are you doing over here?” Lorraine smiled up at Calum.

  7

  Lorraine gave Calum the same exact smile she'd given Mikael as we'd walked in.

  My entire body bristled, tensing. Underneath the table, Mikael grabbed one of my fisted hands, making it obvious that he'd sensed the change in me.

  And if he had, anyone could.

  I didn't care. In an instant, everything I'd found likable about Lorraine disappeared, destroyed by a single wave of irrational, territorial jealousy.

  Calum's eyes flickered in my direction, shimmering with satisfaction. Jealousy of Lorraine burned through me and he sensed it. “I saw Ms. Payne and wanted to discuss our marketing account with her.”

  Lorraine looked over at me for less than a millisecond, then her eyes shot back to Calum as if magnetized.

  Even worse, they didn't remain on his face. Slowly, she savored him with her eyes, from head to fucking toe, clearly uncaring of how her blatant perusal of him would come across professionally. For the first time, I realized that she wasn’t just an open person; she truly did not care what anyone thought.

  At any other time, I might have respected that. A woman that went after what she wanted without giving a damn what others’ opinions would be deserved admiration.

  But she was seriously checking Calum out!

  Mikael's hand tightened around mine.

  My blood pressure skyrocketed, my female instincts demanding that I storm over and drape myself all over Calum, leaving no doubt as to whom he belonged to.

  He didn't belong to me, though, I'd thrown him away last night, and that reminder flooded me with more misery.

  “You have an account with Payne Media?” Lorraine asked, head tilted to the side.

  I wish I could you tell it was a regular head-tilt, but no. This had nothing to do with curiosity and everything to do with a female flaunting her attractiveness to a male.

  “We do,” Calum said easily.

  Eyes. Still. On. Her.

  Mikael ran his thumb across the back of my hand soothingly.

  “They are amazing. Especially their ad designs and campaigns. I'm actually very pleased with all they've done for my company.”

  Not even the fact that Calum lied to Lorraine about working with my company and gave us a great recommendation helped calm the illogical demon twisting inside me.

  Lorraine giggled at Calum—giggled!—and it solidified my opinion that the woman truly was an incurable flirt.

  Well, good for her, but for the sake of my rapidly dwindling composure, she had to aim her attentions elsewhere and fast.

  Mikael sat next to me, and gay or not, he adored all the attention women gave him. He would love nothing more than for Lorraine to continue flirting with him.

  “I agree with you. They’re amazing. Their designs for my marketing campaign just blew me away when they showed it to me.” Lorraine turned her brilliant, too-large smile at me.

  I mustered a small tight-lipped one in return.

  Calum watched the entire exchange with that gleam of satisfaction in his eyes that made me want to hit him.

  I sat there, wretched while I watched another woman flirt with him—a woman that I had to keep things absolutely peaceful and amicable with—and he was enjoying it.

  “I will leave you to finish your meeting. I have things to attend to so the rest of my team shall remain in my place. My brother Lucas is more than capable of answering any questions you might have. Have a good day, Ms. Morani.” Calum nodded at Lorraine.

  Just when I thought he would walk away without acknowledging me one last time, he turned and nodded at me as well. “Ms. Payne.”

  I gave him a stiff nod.
<
br />   Lorraine watched Calum leave, her wistful expression rubbing me in every wrong way possible. “My God, that man.” Fanning herself, she shook her head. “It’s enough to make you wonder why another woman would be stupid enough to throw him away.”

  Shocked by the strength of my reaction to that comment, I stayed in my seat, feeling like I’d been hit in the chest by an eighteen-wheeler. Her comment obviously referred to Calum’s ex, since she didn’t know about me and Calum, nor what had happened between us last night, but it seemed aimed at me nonetheless.

  And it hurt.

  Somehow, I managed to shove it down, hide it, as Lorraine turned back to us, her face fucking flushed from lusting after my lover.

  Ex-lover.

  Whatever. My emotions didn’t care that Calum supposedly didn’t belong to me. My rationale told me he waited for me, somewhere, to talk, and that meant there was a chance what we had was still on. And, if we were still on, I had every God damned right to be territorial over the man I was fucking.

  This was the biggest account I’d ever been given, however, and I couldn’t be unprofessional or immature enough to ruin it due to my emotions.

  So when Lorraine walked up to me, smiling and extending her regrets that our meeting got cut short due to the architectural issue, I made myself smile back at her as genuinely as I could. “It’s perfectly fine,” I told her, already on my feet and making quick work of gathering all the images.

  Mikael got busy next to me, putting all the images inside the folders as I handed them to him. He eyed me dubiously, as if expecting me to flip at any second.

  “I truly do love the designs. When do you think I’ll have the image files so I can start posting them on our social media outlets?” Lorraine asked.

  “I’ll make sure you have them in the next two days,” was my clipped, hurried response.

  “We have a three o’clock meeting we can’t be late to,” Mikael explained, trying to make it seem like I was in a hurry to leave because of that and nothing more.

  Lorraine nodded and thanked us again in that sweet way of hers. I smiled by rote, not because I didn’t appreciate the tone she’d used, but because my female brain had totally hijacked everything.

  There’s no logic when a woman has feelings for a man. Just an ancient wiring that very few of us can overcome. To my body, she became a threat, a woman who would love to have my man between her legs and I was too emotionally raw after the last twenty-four hours to find the strength to diminish my reaction.

  Pleasantries were exchanged and then Mikael and I headed on our way.

  “Breathe,” Mikael murmured behind me as we hurried to the elevators. “Don’t kill him just because you can’t kill her.”

  I didn’t like what his tone implied, so I threw over my shoulder, “I found two pictures of his ex, hidden behind a statue on his book shelf last night!” By some miracle, the elevator opened the moment I pressed on the button.

  Mikael stepped in behind me. “Oh . . . shit.”

  “And there’s an explanation for that,” Calum said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and stepping into the elevator with us. “Which you would’ve known by now if you’d stayed long enough to tell me why you were angry and to hear me out.”

  The doors slid closed behind him.

  Our stares locked in a classic battle of wills.

  I was raw, vulnerable.

  Angry at how Lorraine had flirted with him.

  He just stood there, casual, after pretty much blaming me for what had happened last night. Yes, I’d handled it badly, but seeing Lorraine coming onto him, and how he’d enjoyed my reaction, brought all my rage back to the surface.

  “Oh yeah?” I snapped, itching for a fight. “And what was that in there, huh? After last night, did you think it would be funny for me to sit there and watch another woman almost throw herself at you?”

  Calum crossed the two or so feet separating us in a flash, cupped my nape, and hauled me into him. “No. I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s fucking great that you care enough to be angry.”

  “Care enough?” I let my briefcase drop to the floor and pushed against his chest. He didn’t budge an inch. “After what I told you last night? Are you fucking serious?”

  Calum’s eyes flashed toward Mikael. “You’re going to have to excuse us." He sealed his mouth over mine, catching me by surprise. He slipped his tongue right inside, forcing a fierce kiss on me that sucked all the fight out of me and left me breathless.

  His other hand shot around to my lower back, pressing me closer, and I had to choke back a moan when his hard dick pressed against me.

  Calum licked my tongue, rough and slow, his deep groan letting me know how much he'd missed me too.

  I fisted his blazer, all thoughts of fighting him gone, drinking in the feel of his tongue mating wetly with mine.

  He ended our kiss, his breathing harsh, expression reflecting just how close to the edge he was.

  I almost pulled him back to me, but remembered at the last second that Mikael remained in the elevator with us.

  And only because the sound of him sighing reached my ears.

  When I turned, Mikael was busy fanning his flushed face with a file he must've pulled out of his suitcase.

  “Jesus, girl.” Shaking his head, Mikael stared up at the ceiling and fanned himself faster. “I honestly don't think my body is equipped to withstand this much envy.”

  I laughed.

  Calum raised an amused eyebrow.

  As soon as the elevator reached the lobby, Mikael all but ran out of it, because, as he said, “I need to get as far away from those pheromones as I can!”

  Calum bent and picked up my briefcase. Arm wrapped around my waist, he walked out of the elevator, leading me across the lobby. “Is your driver waiting for you outside?”

  “He's supposed to.” I hurried to keep stride with him, while inside, my common sense slowly returned to me. Now that his lips weren't on me, I could concentrate again, and as happy as it made me to have him there, I was also terrified of what he had to say.

  Would I be able to tell if he lied to me? Or would my feelings for him blind me, as they once had with Corey?

  What if he didn't lie to me and told me that he did have feelings for Diane but that he also wanted to be with me?

  I didn't think I could accept that. My body wanted me to, but I'd break under the constant insecurity. “Calum, wait.” I paused and tried to move out of his grasp.

  He didn’t let me.

  “I . . .” I inhaled a shaky breath, aware that we had stopped in the middle of the lobby. Calum’s gaze held mine, and as hard as it was for me to show him any more of my vulnerabilities while staring him in the eye, I forced myself not to look away. “Those pictures. I can’t do this.”

  He set off at a brisk pace again.

  Calum didn’t seem to understand. As much as I appreciated—okay, fine, adored—the fact that he wanted me as much as he did, it still wouldn’t work out for us if he still had feelings for Diane. I was a mess. I’d already admitted to myself that I probably needed therapy.

  Despite my former opinion, I hadn’t truly moved on from what Corey and Caroline did to me, and I wasn’t equipped to be in any kind of relationship. Especially if the man I fell for wasn’t truly, emotionally, one-hundred percent mine.

  I would make Calum miserable. Drive him and myself crazy with all of my hang-ups. “Calum.”

  “Stop, Livana. Just. Stop.”

  His ruthless, angry tone surprised me silent for a second. I still wasn’t used to him talking to me that way.

  I felt myself getting bitchy over it. No matter how bad I’d handled it, in my eyes, I didn’t appreciate his high-handed way of dealing with me right then.

  I opened my mouth to tell him so.

  Calum turned left, leaving the area of the main lobby, pulled me right into a small alcove, and placed my suitcase down on the floor.

  Then I was in his arms, his mouth on mine, this kiss ev
en more forceful than the one in the elevator had been. He cupped my face in his hands, as if afraid to let me go, tilting my head as he controlled me with his mouth.

  I wanted to fight back. Wanted to stop my tongue from responding, tangling with his, but his breathless moans turned me on so damn much. Everything about him did. I couldn’t stop myself from giving in any more than I could stop myself from breathing.

  If that was the point he was trying to prove, there was no doubt he’d done a magnificent job at it.

  “Stop being mad at me,” he rasped into my mouth.

  “Fuck you.” He reared back at that, glaring at me. I glared right back, my insides eaten alive by the feelings of possession and greed I had toward him. “The thought of another woman having you drives me insane!” I hadn’t even meant to say that, damn him.

  He cupped the back of my head and smashed me against his chest, hugging me tightly. “Fuck.” His groan was agonized. “Yes.” He tilted my head back just enough to nuzzle my cheek. “You have me, Liv. All of me.”

  “Bullshit.” I blinked back tears, refusing to return his hug although his edgy, desperate response to my comment seriously tempted me to. “You kept pictures of her. No, correction, one picture of her. The other was of you two kissing. You have no idea what it felt like to see those.”

  He hugged me even tighter. “I swear to you, Livana, those weren’t supposed to be there. I didn’t even know. I’d told my housekeeper to clear out anything Diane hadn’t taken with her when she moved out.”

  Hunger and hope surged through me at once.

  I squished them almost as instantly as they arouse. Or at least tried to. I shouldn’t jump into the decision of trusting him. Last thing I needed to do, actually. It’s what pathetic women too caught up in their emotions did. It’s what I’d done with Corey. The warning signs had been there but I’d bought each and every one of his articulate excuses because I’d wanted to be with him that badly.

  “How could you not know?” I asked in a ragged tone that only angered me more. “It’s impossible.”

  “No it fucking isn’t, Livana.”

  My heart ached in my chest. “Yes it is. It’s your home.”

  “Because I never look there anymore . . . haven’t gone near that bookcase in forever. For the last four months, Livana, I’ve done nothing but go to work, the gym, or spend all my free time with you.”