Total Abandon

by Opal Carew

  Before she’d made love with James on the picnic table, she’d been sure he was the Fantasy Stranger. His touch had been sweet and tender like her Fantasy Stranger’s, but different. Of course the circumstances were different and maybe he’d purposefully acted different, so she wouldn’t figure it out. But she didn’t think he was quite as large as her Fantasy Stranger, either. Maybe with the blindfold, or because of her long celibacy, she had simply imagined the Fantasy Stranger to be bigger than he really was, but … she wasn’t convinced James was the stranger.

  She picked up her bra and pushed the straps over her shoulders and fastened the hooks, then adjusted the lacy cups.

  Now that she’d had sex with Craig, too, she should be convinced he was her Fantasy Stranger, but the size of his erection wasn’t enough to confirm it. Craig’s touch was even more different. And with the fast and furious flurry of thrusts, one man to the other … She drew in a deep breath. She just couldn’t be sure.

  She pulled on her tank top and realized she felt a little numb. Everything around her felt distant somehow.

  “You ready to go?” Aimee asked.

  Sandra nodded.

  “We’ll walk you back,” James said.

  “Uh, you know what? We’ll be fine. Thanks.” Aimee picked up Sandra’s bag and handed it to her, then led her to the door.

  “See you tomorrow,” Craig said as Aimee opened the sliding door.

  “Sure thing,” Aimee said.

  As soon as Sandra stepped into the clear night air, the sound of the crickets chirping in the background and moonlight casting a soft glow on the trees and grass, she suddenly realized what she’d just done.

  Aimee closed the door behind them.

  Oh, God. I just had wild sex with two men.

  Aimee drew her down the deck steps and toward the path through the trees. They walked in silence for a few moments.

  “That was pretty exciting, eh?” Aimee said, sending a sidelong glance at Sandra.

  “Yeah.” Sandra couldn’t round up any other words.

  “The guys had a really good time.”

  “Uh-huh.” Sandra prayed Aimee wouldn’t ask her the question. Wouldn’t ask her if—

  “You had a good time, right?”

  “Um … sure.”

  Aimee stopped. “Oh, come on, honey. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that.”

  Sandra stopped walking and turned to face her friend, then her gaze dropped to her sandal-clad foot and she tapped the surface of a rock embedded in the ground. She’d be lying if she said that.

  “It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, it’s just that…” She sighed and glanced at Aimee, then back to her foot. “Come on, Aimee. I just had sex with two guys at the same time. Guys I hardly know.”

  “Aw, sweetie.” Aimee took Sandra’s hand and squeezed it. “What are you worried about? I’m not going to tell anyone about this. The guys won’t tell anyone. It was just a good time shared by consenting adults. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  Sandra nodded but without conviction.

  “Honey, look at me.”

  Sandra’s gaze returned to Aimee.

  “Listen, do you think any less of me because of what just happened?”

  Sandra’s brow furrowed. She considered Aimee a close friend and thought she knew the woman pretty well, but Sandra would never have suspected that Aimee would get involved in such casual wild sex. Yet did that mean she thought less of her?

  Actually, she kind of admired the way Aimee took it all in stride. Aimee knew both Craig and James … had had sex with both of them before. When she and Craig had made love on the raft in front of Sandra and James, it hadn’t felt dirty or wrong. It had felt like Aimee was being playful. Simply having fun. And with an openness toward sex that Sandra wished she could share. Sandra didn’t believe for a moment that Aimee would grab the first sexy stranger who passed by and have sex with him in public. What she’d done had been an exciting escapade among friends. Friends who trusted and respected one another.

  “No.” Sandra squeezed Aimee’s hand. “I don’t think less of you. I think you’re kind of quirky. And a little crazy. But I think you’re a great person who really knows how to have fun.”

  Aimee smiled. “Thank you. So if you think that about me, then allow yourself the same courtesy. You enjoyed sex with two incredibly good-looking, sexy guys. Any woman would love to be in your shoes. So relax. Okay?”

  Sandra nodded. “Okay.”

  They continued to the cottage, where Sandra headed straight to bed. As she lay there with her arm tossed across her forehead, staring at the moonlight washing across her bedspread, she replayed the conversation with Aimee.

  You enjoyed sex with two incredibly good-looking, sexy guys. Any woman would love to be in your shoes.

  That might be true, but most women would just fantasize about it. Not many would actually do it.

  Sandra sighed, confusion swirling through her.

  The only thing she knew for sure was that the memory of those hard cocks driving into her was going to haunt her memories, and her dreams, for a long time to come.

  * * *

  The next morning, Sandra didn’t wake up until ten thirty. She climbed out of bed and pulled on her red bikini and a pair of shorts. As she trod into the kitchen she could smell fresh coffee. Aimee must be up. She glanced at the fridge and noticed that item four had been ticked off the list.

  She sighed and poured herself a mug of coffee and peered out the patio door to see Aimee sunning herself on the deck. Sandra slid open the door and stepped outside.

  “Good morning.” Sandra sat on the chair beside Aimee.

  “Hi there.” Aimee closed the magazine she’d been reading and tossed it on the table beside her, then picked up her mug and took a sip. “When I’m finished with this I’m going for a swim. Want to join me?”

  Join her? And probably run into Craig. Maybe James, too.

  “No, thanks.”

  “You sure? It’s not because of last night, is it? You’re not avoiding the guys?”

  Sandra shrugged. “We had a great time last night. Let’s just leave it at that.”

  “You think it’ll be weird, right?”

  “Maybe a little.”

  Aimee finished her coffee and stood up. “Okay, well, I’ll be gone about an hour or so. What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to lie in the sun and finish my book. I’m dying to see how it ends.”

  Aimee slid open the door. “Hmm, turning down two hot guys for a book.” She grinned and shrugged. “Whatever turns you on, baby.” She went inside and closed the door. A few minutes later, she returned wearing her orange floral bikini and a towel wrapped around her hips. “If you change your mind, you know where to find us.”

  Sandra watched her go, then went inside and fetched her book from her bedside table. She returned to the deck, kicked off her shorts, and sat down, staring wistfully at the place between the trees where the path disappeared.

  Maybe she should go and join them. Two sexy guys and a wild time awaited her. But feelings of uncertainty—about last night, about the desires she felt now—gnawed at her insides.

  Aimee had done a good job convincing her that last night had been okay. A good time shared by consenting adults. After more than a year of abstinence, Sandra deserved to let loose. To live out a fantasy or two. But to go off with Aimee now again, to join her and the two men in another sexual romp—the fact that she so desperately wanted to—scared her a little.

  It felt almost like an addiction. She wanted it too much.

  No, she’d had her fun last night. And the day before. That was enough. She’d actually ticked off half the items on the list.

  Today she would return home. Back to reality. And these kinds of sexual antics had no place in her regular world.

  * * *

  Aimee returned around one and they had lunch together, then began packing their stuff. Once the cooler was filled with leftovers and they had wiped o
ut the fridge, they carried everything to the back door.

  “Hey, there.”

  Sandra glanced up to see Craig smiling at her through the screen door. James stood behind him.

  “Want a hand with those?” Craig asked.

  “Uh … sure. Thanks.” Sandra opened the door and Craig grabbed the cooler while James picked up her suitcase.

  “Great. Reinforcements.” Aimee returned from her final walk around the cottage to ensure everything was turned off and all the doors and windows were secured.

  Sandra walked along the path following behind the wheeled cooler Craig pulled, James by her side.

  “I missed you this morning. Did you finish your book?”

  “Oh, uh … not quite.” How could she? She’d been daydreaming about swimming naked with James … and Craig. And climbing up on the swim raft and then feeling their hands on her naked skin. Their hot bodies pressed against her. Their hard cocks pushing into her.

  “That’s too bad,” James said.

  They arrived at the dock and Craig hefted the cooler into Aimee’s boat, then climbed aboard. James handed him Sandra’s suitcase and Craig set it down beside the cooler at the back of the boat.

  Then James turned to Sandra and smiled. “I’d really love to see you again.”

  The panic she felt must have flashed across her eyes because a tiny frown crossed his sexy lips. He tucked his hand under her chin and drew it up, then captured her lips. The heat of his mouth on hers burned through her and despite her better judgment, she returned the kiss. His arms wrapped around her and he drew her close. Their bodies pressed tight together, and her heart pounded in her chest.

  Oh, God, why hadn’t she gone to the beach with Aimee this morning? She already longed for James’ hot naked body to be pressed against hers. To feel him slide inside her and take her to heaven again.

  He released her lips and smiled. “Aimee has my number. Call me anytime.”

  She nodded, dazed. She turned around, and came face-to-face with Craig.

  “That goes for me, too.” Craig tugged her close and captured her lips in a mildly aggressive and oh-so-sexy kiss.

  Once he released her lips, she sucked in air. Oh, God, she wanted to strip right here and beg them to fuck her.

  “Thanks. I … uh … better go now.” She stepped over the side of the boat, settling one foot inside, and wobbled a little as the boat swayed on the water.

  Craig caught her hips to steady her, then held on with a firm grip as she stepped all the way on board.

  “Thanks.” She smiled at him, then settled on the front passenger seat. The sun beat down on her bare arms and shoulders as she watched Aimee kiss James, then Craig.

  Aimee hopped into the boat and climbed behind the wheel. “All ready to head home?” Aimee asked.

  Sandra nodded, but in fact, she wasn’t at all sure she was.

  * * *

  Sandra put down her cup of Hawaiian blend decaf coffee on the side table and flopped onto the couch in her living room. The day at work had been unbearable. Her boss had come back with a huge list of changes she wanted on Sandra’s proposed design for the new Web site, most of them impractical, especially from a maintenance perspective, but that wasn’t the worst. The problem was she couldn’t drag her mind away from the weekend at the cottage.

  She picked up her coffee and breathed in the rich aroma, then took a sip.

  A deep craving to see James and Craig again and to have another torrid sexual adventure kept her mind gyrating and her body vibrating with need.

  A knock sounded at the door. She sighed and stood up, then walked to the door and opened it.

  Devlin stood smiling at her. “Hey there, stranger. May I come in?”

  Eleven

  Sandra smiled and stepped back. “Yes, of course.”

  The sight of his handsome face, the closeness of his body as he stepped inside, sent her insides trembling. She’d been attracted to Devlin before, but now that her sexual appetite had been awakened to a whole new level this past weekend, she could barely stand next to him without wanting to throw her arms around him and devour his lips in a passionate kiss.

  Once inside the entrance, he stepped out of his shoes. She walked toward the living room and he followed her.

  Oh, God. Having Devlin here kicked her already stark craving up several notches. Here he was, a real live man, within reach. A man who sent her insides sparking.

  Except he’d already turned her down once. At least Aimee’s suggestion of going away for the weekend had worked. Sandra no longer felt the keen sting of embarrassment.

  “Would you like some coffee? I’ve got a pot of decaf on.”

  “Sure.”

  He followed her into the kitchen and she poured some coffee into a mug and handed it to him, then watched as he added sugar.

  “I hope you don’t mind my stopping by without calling.”

  Sandra shrugged. “We’re friends. You can do that.”

  He nodded. “That’s the reason I came by. To ensure nothing gets in the way of that friendship.”

  Her stomach clenched. Had Aimee told him about what had happened at the cottage? Had he decided he couldn’t have a friend who would behave that way?

  Oh, God, now I’m being completely paranoid.

  Aimee had said she wouldn’t tell anyone and, even if she had, Devlin wouldn’t care.

  * * *

  Devlin stared at her wide eyes and knew she wasn’t thinking about the same thing he was.

  “I’m talking about the night you kissed me. I’m pretty sure you’ve been avoiding me since then, and I wanted to make sure we’re okay. That what happened won’t impact our friendship.”

  “Oh … no, of course not. I was a little embarrassed afterward, but it doesn’t affect how I feel about you.”

  And how did she feel about him? That kiss told him she wanted to be more than friends, and that was great. Just not yet. He’d promised himself he’d wait six months.

  But right now he had to do damage control.

  “Good.” He picked up his coffee and headed for the living room. “So we’re still on for dinner on Saturday?”

  “Right. It’s my turn to cook this time. I’m going to try a new dessert recipe I found online. Chocolate cake with a chocolate-and-orange-liqueur filling.”

  Devlin had taken a gourmet cooking course with her six months ago—they’d invited Aimee but she had no interest in cooking—and now they alternated cooking for each other once a month to keep their skills honed. Aimee liked eating, though, so she joined them, too.

  “Sounds good.” He always looked forward to their cooking nights. He liked sharing his creations with Sandra, and he loved the artistic flair of her presentation.

  He sat on the easy chair while Sandra settled on the couch, then picked up her coffee and sipped.

  “So how was the weekend?”

  “Uh … good.”

  He sipped his coffee, enjoying the new blend she’d chosen. “Aimee told me James and Craig were at the other cottage.”

  Sandra stared inside her cup. “You know James and Craig?”

  “Yeah, I met them at Aimee’s cottage a few years ago. Aimee told me you knew James back in college.”

  Sandra nodded, swirling the liquid in her cup.

  James had told Devlin a little about his history with Sandra, and Devlin got the impression James had been quite attracted to her, which made Devlin a bit nervous. The past link between James and Sandra had come as a complete surprise. And a disturbing complication. Aimee had assured Devlin it was nothing to worry about, though, so he decided to stick with the plan.

  “So with you and Aimee alone on an island with two available guys…” He grinned. “Did you check anything off your list?”

  Sandra nearly choked on her coffee, then coughed.

  “What did Aimee tell you?”

  “Nothing.” He raised his eyebrows and his grin broadened. “But from your reaction, I assume I’m spot-on.”

  L
ooking at her pale face, he felt a little mean goading her like this, but he wanted her to open up about it and didn’t know how else to broach the subject. Aimee had told him Sandra was a bit reticent about her experiences with the men—and with her Fantasy Stranger—but Devlin wanted her to talk about it so he could encourage her. And so it would bring them to another level of intimacy in their friendship.

  “Sandra, if something did happen … you know I wouldn’t think badly of you. In fact, quite the opposite. I’d think it was great that you’d gone after what you wanted. Embraced excitement and adventure.”

  She raised her gaze to meet his. “Really?”

  Her small voice and wide eyes, so begging for approval, tore at his heart.

  He stood up and walked toward the couch, then settled down beside her. “Of course.” He tucked his arm around her and drew her close to his side. “There’s nothing wrong with going after what you want. What’s the point in having a dream if you never go after it?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t say the items on that list were my dream.”

  He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Really? You don’t daydream about hot guys making wild and passionate love to you?”

  Her cheeks blazed an amazing shade of red, and he laughed.

  “Look, whatever you did this weekend, I salute you. In fact, I think you should do more of the same. You deserve to have a great time and don’t allow anyone to judge you.”

  A slow smile spread across her face and she nodded. “You know, you’re right. There’s nothing wrong with being a bit wild every now and again. I mean, Aimee already told me that, and I thought I’d accepted it, but the thought of doing it again … I thought maybe once was okay, but more than that meant … you know, that I was…” She shrugged.

  “Kinky?”

  She shook her head.

  “A little sex-starved?”

  “Actually, more like a sex maniac.”

  “Well, there’s nothing wrong with a little maniacal sex once in a while.”

  She batted his arm and he laughed.

  “There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy sex drive,” he said. “And that’s exactly what you have. A healthy sex drive.”