Total Abandon

by Opal Carew

“Really?” With wide eyes, she drew in a deep breath and then to his total surprise smiled. “How exciting!”

  * * *

  Sandra threw on her pajamas and slumped into bed. The memory of Devlin’s strong hands holding her pressed against the wall, his mouth searing hers with the heat of his passion, along with his tongue driving into her mouth, mastering her, filled her with an inexhaustible craving. Oh, God, it had been so exciting.

  She tossed and turned all night, flipping between sleepless bouts of longing for his hands on her body and dreams of being naked and bound while he made passionate love to her.

  At lunch the next day, she sat with Aimee in a restaurant overlooking the canal. They both ordered the soup and salad special.

  As soon as the waitress left, Sandra leaned toward Aimee.

  “What do you think about Devlin and I getting involved?” Sandra asked.

  Aimee placed her napkin on her lap and smoothed it with her hand.

  Usually Aimee had an opinion about this kind of thing and was happy to express it. The fact that she wasn’t jumping right in meant she and Devlin had probably already talked about it.

  Sandra raised an eyebrow. “You know something. Have you talked to Devlin about this?”

  “Devlin and I are friends,” Aimee said. “We talk about a lot of things.”

  Sandra leaned forward. “You and I are friends, too.”

  “I know, honey, but it wouldn’t be fair to Devlin.”

  “Look, I’m really into Devlin and I think we would be good together. And I’m sure he’s attracted to me, too. But it’s like he’s fighting it and I don’t know why.”

  “Have you talked to him about it?” Aimee asked.

  “Yeah. Last night, when we had dinner, I asked him outright if he was attracted to me.”

  Aimee’s deep blue eyes widened. “What did he say?”

  “He said he is.”

  “Really?”

  “But then when I suggested we move to the next level—”

  “You mean dating?”

  “Okay, the level after that. Anyway, he launched into some lame excuse about the fact it might ruin our friendship. That I needed some time to date before we could even consider getting together.”

  Aimee patted her hand. “It’s not lame, honey. If you have an intimate relationship with him, then later break it off … Things get awkward.”

  Sandra nibbled her lower lip. Of course, there was sense to that argument. “I don’t think that’ll happen to us.”

  “Everyone thinks that at first.”

  “Okay, maybe, but when I pushed him a little harder, he changed stories again. This time he told me he was … into kinkier stuff.”

  Aimee’s lips curled in a smile. “Oh, yeah. Like what?”

  “Like dominance. Requiring the woman to be totally submissive. Then he pushed me against the wall and kissed me. I almost felt like he was trying to”—she drummed her fingers on the table—“I don’t know. Frighten me off or something.”

  “And did he?”

  “Are you kidding? It was totally hot.” She grabbed a breadstick from the basket and nibbled the end.

  Aimee laughed. “Poor Devlin. I assume you told him that.”

  “Absolutely. I desperately wanted to drag him off to bed right then and there. But he mumbled something about me not really getting it, which was total gibberish, then he practically fled the apartment.” She gazed at Aimee. “I’m very confused. If you can shed any light on this, please do.”

  “Well, Devlin’s always been a straight shooter. If he says he’s attracted to you, but he’s resisting acting on it, that’s all there is to it.”

  “But why would he change stories? Do you think he doesn’t want to have sex with me, but he’s afraid he’ll hurt my feelings?”

  Aimee toyed with her spoon. “No, I don’t think that’s the case.”

  An unsettling thought set Sandra frowning. “Damn, does that mean he’s not really into domination?”

  She couldn’t believe how turned on the idea of being dominated by Devlin made her feel. She’d never even considered the idea before; now she seemed almost obsessed with it.

  Aimee laughed. “Well, I don’t know about that.”

  Sandra sipped her water. “You know, ever since the weekend at your cottage, I keep having really hot dreams.”

  “About James and Craig?”

  “Well, really about the Fantasy Stranger.” Sandra shrugged. “But one of them is the Fantasy Stranger, right?”

  Aimee stroked the tip of her finger down the side of her water glass, following a drop of condensation. “That’s classified information.”

  Sandra narrowed her eyes. Why did it seem Aimee was suddenly being cagey? Almost as if the Fantasy Stranger was someone entirely different. Heat blazed through her at the thought. Could it be she’d actually been with three different men at the cottage that weekend? Had her Fantasy Stranger really been a total stranger she’d never even met?

  Oh, God. Should she really find that thought so amazingly erotic?

  Aimee glanced up at her again. “Maybe it’s time to go back to the cottage again. I’m pretty sure I could arrange it this weekend? What do you say?”

  “With both Craig and James?”

  Aimee nodded as she chewed her lettuce, then swallowed. “And you could experience a little of item two.”

  Bondage.

  Sandra pointed her breadstick at her friend. “You seem to have that list memorized.”

  Aimee grinned. “And you don’t?”

  Sandra laughed. “I guess I do.” How could she not? Thoughts of doing those things with her new lovers—and with Devlin—occupied her mind, and her dreams, constantly.

  Her insides ached with need. There was only one thing that occupied her thoughts more.

  She licked her lips.

  “And do you think maybe … could you arrange a visit from my Fantasy Stranger again?”

  Aimee laughed. “Of course.”

  * * *

  Devlin reached into his pocket for his vibrating cell phone. “Hello.”

  “You’re driving the woman nuts.”

  Devlin smiled. Aimee. “Any particular woman?”

  He put down his book on the table beside his mug of coffee, stretched out his legs, and slumped back on the upholstered chair in the cozy coffee shop by the river.

  “You know exactly which woman. You are driving Sandra nuts.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “We met for lunch today and she told me about last night. By the way, a woman must totally submit to you?”

  He chuckled as he remembered how Sandra’s eyes had widened, then her pupils had dilated in sexual excitement. Or so it had seemed from her following comments. Of course, he hadn’t found it at all funny last night. In fact, he’d sped out of there as fast as he could. If he hadn’t, he would have woken up in her bed this morning, his plan totally tossed out the window.

  “I thought that would scare her off.” He took a sip of his coffee.

  “What? Turning her on with your dominating masculinity?”

  “I had to think of something.” He’d had no idea it would have that effect on her. Who knew threatening to dominate a woman like Sandra would act as an aphrodisiac?

  “Slick move.”

  He grinned. “So is that how you see me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you see me as dominating and masculine?”

  “Nooo. But clearly Sandra does. In fact, right now, that seems to be all she can think about.”

  The thought that Sandra was thinking about him that way—as strong and sexy, dominating her in the bedroom—set his groin aching.

  “So why did she talk to you about it?” he asked.

  “Because she didn’t understand why you wouldn’t act on your attraction for her.”

  He tapped his finger on the handle of his mug. “But I told her the truth.”

  “Followed by a crazy excuse. All you did was confu
se her.”

  He groaned.

  “No, it’s okay. It’s all good. I just don’t think you should wait too long.”

  “Because of her history with James? Do you think it might lead to a serious relationship after all?”

  “I think it made it easier for her to get involved sexually,” Aimee said, “but she told me she doesn’t want to get caught up in anything serious just yet.”

  Relief flooded through him.

  “But … I don’t know,” Aimee continued. “Sandra strikes me as the type of woman who wants to be in a relationship. Having sex with both Craig and James will certainly keep her distracted for a while, but at some point she’s going to want to settle into a relationship. With their unrequited lust from the past, James has an edge. Since she wants to be with you now, why don’t you—”

  “Aimee, I’ve got to stick to the plan. I don’t want to be part of a crowd. When she’s with me, I want it to be special.”

  “Sweetie, if you two are right for each other, then being together will be special no matter who else is around, or what you’re doing together. That’s what love is all about.”

  He stared out the window at the ducks swimming along the glittering river, letting the words sink in.

  He absolutely believed that was true. And he knew he loved Sandra.

  But … what if she didn’t love him back?

  “Devlin, I know you want a chance at forever after with her, but you know, no one can guarantee that at the start of any relationship. Sometimes you’ve just got to take a risk.”

  A risk? He’d moved too fast before. Been too confident. And lost the girl. Not this time.

  “The plan will work.” He had to believe that. “It will be good for Sandra to enjoy more erotic adventures.”

  “Okay. There are at least four more things on the list.”

  He could hear the smile in her voice.

  “Can you clear Saturday for another gig as her Fantasy Stranger?”

  “Of course.” Memories of Sandra lying on the air mattress below him, her face contorted in ecstasy, set his cock throbbing.

  His role as Fantasy Stranger kept him as part of Sandra’s erotic adventures. And it gave him a chance to compete with James. Sandra might not know the Fantasy Stranger was Devlin, but his feelings for her worked in his favor, because he was sure she could feel the love in his touch.

  * * *

  Wednesday night, Sandra went to sleep frustrated and anxious for Friday to arrive. The next morning, she woke up still shuddering from ecstatic pleasure. She squeezed her thighs together, riding the end of the orgasm, but without the hardness of a man inside her it faded fast. She sighed and lay sprawled on the bed, damp sheets tangled around her legs and her top pulled up, leaving her breasts bare.

  Oh, God, she wanted a real man. Not these chaotic, confusing dreams. Always featuring her Fantasy Stranger. This time when he’d come out of the shadows, he’d had James’ face. Which made no sense, because she was pretty sure the stranger was Craig.

  But not totally sure. Maybe she’d been wrong when she’d ruled out James. It had been so long since she’d been with a man. She didn’t know what to think anymore.

  Right now, all she knew for sure was that she was dying to get to the cottage again. To be with both men. To feel them making love to her. Their hard cocks giving her pleasure. Even the thought sent tingles scurrying along her spine, and made her insides spasm with need.

  She glanced at the clock. Seven thirty-five. She kicked the sheet away and hopped out of bed, then raced into the bathroom for her shower. Fifteen minutes later, she went into the kitchen, her nose twitching at the earthy aroma of the Asian blend she’d set up in the coffeemaker last night. She placed some bread in the toaster, then poured a cup and took a sip, appreciating the powerful, big body enhanced by its herbal nuances and soft cinnamon flavor. She hadn’t packed this one for the cottage because she knew Aimee wouldn’t care for it.

  Once the toast popped up, she buttered it, then ate at the counter, thinking about the work she had to get done by the end of the week. On the bus, she reviewed the report detailing the requirements for the complex Web form she had to develop. That was the biggest task she had to complete by Friday. She arrived at work about ten minutes early, cleared up some of the smaller tasks, then set about work on the form.

  After about two hours, she glared at the HTML code in front of her, wondering why the Web page wouldn’t do what she wanted. She tapped her pen on the desk as she tried to fathom what was wrong with the code.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Aimee sat down in Sandra’s royal blue guest chair.

  “Having trouble getting this input form to work properly.”

  Aimee stood up and glanced over Sandra’s shoulder. Aimee leaned in and pointed at the screen. “You didn’t close your table column.”

  Sandra stared at the code where Aimee pointed. “Damn, you’re right. I’ve been staring at this for fifteen minutes. Why the heck didn’t I see that?”

  “Well, I can think of two really good reasons.”

  At the amused curl of Aimee’s lips, Sandra knew she referred to James and Craig. And she was absolutely right.

  Aimee sat down again. “And about that. I hate to tell you this, but I can’t go on Friday.”

  Thirteen

  Sandra felt the color drain from her face. “You mean we’re not going this weekend?”

  Aimee laughed. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  She reached forward and plucked the pen from Sandra’s fingers. Sandra realized she’d been gripping it so tightly it was surprising it hadn’t snapped in two.

  “If you had to wait another week,” Aimee continued, “you’d be a basket case. I can’t go Friday, but I can go up on Saturday.”

  “So we’re just delaying a day.” Oh, thank God.

  “No. I mean, I’ll delay, but I don’t see any reason you can’t go up on Friday. The guys will be there.”

  “How will I get to the island? I don’t know how to drive a boat. And I’m not sure I can find the island.” Out on the water, all the treed coastline looked the same to her, and there were several islands on the lake.

  “No problem. You can meet the guys at the marina and they’ll take you on their boat. Is that okay?”

  A whole Friday night on the island, just her and the two incredibly sexy men. Her insides quivered.

  “Oh, yeah. That’s just fine.”

  * * *

  All day at work on Friday, Sandra could barely concentrate on what she was doing. Thoughts of seeing James and Craig again kept her insides simmering. Somehow she finished the Web form and handed it off to her boss for comments. Any changes would be handled next week.

  Finally, five o’clock arrived. She gathered her stuff and stopped by Aimee’s desk.

  “On your way?” Aimee asked.

  “Yeah. You still have to work?” Sandra asked.

  “Well, you know, I was thinking about that. I could probably finish this up in the next two hours or so, then you and I could grab a late dinner and be at the cottage by eleven or so.”

  Sandra’s stomach twisted. “Oh, uh … yeah, sure.”

  Aimee laughed and waved her hand back and forth. “Don’t worry. I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t do that to you. For one, I think you’d burst if you had to wait another hour let alone four. And”—she winked—“I assume you’re looking forward to some alone time with the guys.”

  Sandra sighed. “You know it’s not that I don’t want you there, I just—”

  Aimee laughed again. “Just go!”

  Sandra grinned and turned around, then hurried toward the elevator. Someone held the door for her and she scooted in, then pressed P2. She’d driven her car today so she could head straight out. Her suitcase and a cooler of groceries were already packed in the trunk.

  She hopped in the car and drove through the underground parking garage, then out into the bright sunshine. She negotiated her way through the thick downtown rush-hour traffic
, smiling all the way. About an hour later, she pulled into the small marina and parked her car.

  She opened the trunk and pulled out the wheeled cooler Aimee had lent her. It was the kind that claimed to keep ice frozen for up to five days, which was great since she’d had to leave it in the car all day. She’d packed enough food for both her and Aimee for the weekend. She tugged out her small suitcase and set it on top of the cooler, then locked up the car. Pulling the cooler along behind her, she headed to the dock that housed Aimee’s boat. Aimee had told her Craig’s boat slip was five down from Aimee’s.

  “Hey, gorgeous. There you are.” Craig waved at her from farther down the dock.

  The sight of him standing there with no shirt, the tiger tattoo prowling up his arm and his extremely well-defined muscles bulging, took her breath away.

  My, God, what does that man do to work out?

  Oh, man, she wanted to run her hands all over him. To feel the hardness of that totally ripped, extremely masculine body. To feel those strong arms around her and totally melt against him. Be consumed by his erotically aggressive kisses.

  She tore her gaze away, shifting to James, who stood in the boat. He smiled. He wore a light cotton shirt, the front draped open revealing his rigid, well-sculpted muscles. Not as bulky as Craig’s, but exceptional nonetheless.

  Craig walked toward her, then took the cooler handle from her and drew it toward the boat. He lifted the cooler, suitcase and all, and handed it to James, who hefted it to the floor of the boat next to their cooler. James took her hand and helped her into the rocking boat. The warmth of his fingers enveloping hers sent goose bumps skittering along her arm.

  Sandra glanced around, a little nervous the guys would show some expression of affection.

  If one of them were to hug her right now, with her hormones racing, she might get carried away.

  “Have a good drive from the city?” James asked.

  She nodded and made small talk about traffic and her workweek, perched on one of the seats facing the back of the boat. Craig sat in the driver’s seat, which put her back-to-back with him. She could feel the heat of his body only inches behind her.

  James unfastened the ropes tying them to the dock, then sat in the front passenger seat. The engine revved and the boat moved away from the dock. In a few moments, they were on open water and the boat surged forward as it picked up speed. Her heart thumped in anticipation as the small craft bumped up and down on the water, then settled to a smooth ride.