MA02 Myth Conceptions

by Robert Asprin

  “Wait a minute, Ajax,” I said, holding up a hand. “I think there’s an easier signal they’ll understand. Watch this.”

  I sent one more blast of energy out, and the tower platform burst into flames.

  “Think they’ll get the message?” I smiled.

  Ajax stared at the burning tower for a moment.

  “Yer pretty good at that, youngster,” he murmured finally. Throwin’ fire that far.”

  “Well,” I began modestly. “We magicians can ...”

  ‘‘‘Course,’’ he continued. “If you can do that, then you didn’t really need me and Blackie to handle those wagons, did you?”

  Too late, I realized my mistake.

  “Ajax, I …”

  “Kinda strange, you goin’ to all that trouble jes’ to convince me I’m not useless.”

  “You’re not useless.” I barked. “Just because sometimes you’re not necessary doesn’t mean you’re useless. I may be young, but I’m old enough to know that.”

  Ajax regarded me for a moment, and then he suddenly smiled.

  “Danged if you aren’t right, youngst ... Skeeve,” he laughed. “Guess I knew it, but plum fergot it there fer a while. Let’s go get some wine from that cask strapped to yer dragon. I’d like to thank you proper fer remindin’ me.”

  We headed back to camp together.

  THE MOOD BACK at the camp was understandably celebrative. If I had had any hopes for joining in the festivities, however, they were dashed when Aahz hailed me.

  “Over here, kid!” he waved. “We’ve got some planning to do!”

  “That’s the other side o’ bein’ a general, youngster,” Ajax murmured sympathetically. “‘Tain’t all speeches and glory. You go on ahead. I’ll do my drinkin’ with the boys.”

  With a jerk of his head, he indicated Gus and Brockhurst, who were already at the wine. Tanda was waiting for me with Aahz. That made my choice a little easier.

  “Okay, Ajax,” I smiled. “I’ll catch up with you in a little bit.”

  “Congratulations, handsome!” Tanda winked as I joined them. “That was as neat a bit of work as I’ve seen in a long time.”

  “Thanks, Tanda,” I blushed.

  “I see you and Ajax are on speaking terms again,” Aahz said, regarding me with cocked eyebrows. “That’s not a bad trick in itself. How did you do it?”

  “We ... um ... we had a long talk,” I replied vaguely. “You said we had some planning to do?”

  “More like a briefing,” Aahz admitted. “Tanda here brought along a few special-effects items I think you should know about.”

  I had completely forgotten about Tanda’s errand which had left me alone at the Bazaar. Now that I had been reminded, my curiosity soared.

  “What ‘cha got, Tanda?” I asked eagerly.

  “Nothing spectacular,” she shrugged. “Knowing Aahz was involved, I figured we’d be on a tight budget so I stuck to the basics.”

  “Just show him, huh?” Aahz growled. “Spare us the editorial comments.”

  She stuck her tongue out at him, but produced a small cloth sack from her belt.

  “First off,” she began. “I thought we could use a little flash powder. It never fails to impress the yokels.”

  “Flash powder,” I said carefully.

  “You set fire to it,” Aahz supplied. “It burns fast and gives you a cloud of smoke.”

  “I’ve got about a dozen small bags of it here,” Tanda continued, showing me the contents of her sack. “Various colors and sizes.”

  “Can I try one?” I asked. “I’ve never worked with this stuff before.”

  “Sure,” Tanda grinned, extending the sack. ‘They’re yours to use as you see fit. You might as well know what you’ve got.”

  I took the sack, and carefully selected one of the small bags from its interior.

  “Better toss it to the ground, kid,” Aahz cautioned. “Some folks can set it off in their hand, but that takes practice. If you tried it that way now, you’d probably lose a hand.”

  I obediently tossed the bag on the ground a few feet away. Watching it curiously, I focused a quick burst of energy on it.

  There was a bright flash of light accompanied by a soft pop. Blinking my eyes, I looked at where the bag had been. A small cloud of green smoke hung in the air, slowly dissipating in the breeze.

  “That’s neat!” I exclaimed, reaching into the sack again.

  “Take it easy,” Aahz warned. “We don’t have that much of the stuff.”

  “Oh! Right, Aahz,” I replied, a little sheepish. “What else do you have, Tanda?”

  “Well,” she smiled. “I guess this would be the piece-de-resistance.”

  As she spoke, she seemed to draw something from behind her back. I say “seemed” because I couldn’t see anything. From her movements, she was holding a rod about three feet long, but there was nothing in her grasp.

  “What is it?” I asked politely.

  For a response, she grinned and held whatever it was in front of her. Then she opened her grip and disappeared into thin air.

  “Invisibility;” Aahz exclaimed. ‘‘A cloak of invisibility!”

  “Couldn’t afford one,” came Tanda’s voice from somewhere in front of us. “I had to settle for one of these.”

  What “one of these” was, it turned out, was a sheet of invisibility. It was a sheet of stiff material about three feet by seven feet. Tanda had been carrying it rolled up in a tube, and her disappearance had been caused by the sheet unrolling into its normal form.

  As she and Aahz chatted excitedly about her purchase, I had an opportunity to further my knowledge in the field of invisibility.

  Invisible sheets, it seems were made of roughly the same material as invisible cloaks. Since the sheets were carried, not worn, they did not require the flexibility and softness necessary for a cloak. Consequently, they were considerably cheaper than the cloaks.

  The effect was sort of like one-way glass. When you were on the right side of an invisible sheet, you could see through it perfectly well to observe whatever or whoever was on the other side. They, however, could not see you.

  We were still discussing the potential uses of the new tool when Brockhurst hastened up to our group.

  “Hey, boss!” he called. “We’ve got company!”

  “Who? Where?” I asked calmly.

  “Down on the meadow,” the Imp responded, pointing. “The Gremlin says there’s some kind of group forming out there.”

  “What Gremlin?” Aahz snarled.

  “C’mon, Aahz,” Tanda called, starting off “Let’s check this out.”

  There was indeed a group on the meadow, Empire soldiers all. The puzzling thing was their activity, or specifically their lack of it. They seemed to be simply standing and waiting for something.

  “What are they doing, Aahz?” I whispered, as we studied the group from the concealment of the tree line.

  “They’re standing and waiting,” Aahz supplied.

  “I can see that,” I grimaced. “But what are they waiting for?”

  “Probably for us,” my mentor replied.

  “For us?” I blinked. “Why?”

  “For a war council,” Aahz grinned. “Look at it, kid. Aren’t they doing the same thing we did when we wanted to talk? They’re even standing in the same Spot.”

  I restudied the group in this light. Aahz was right! The enemy was calling for a war council!

  “Do you think we should go out there?” I asked nervously.

  “Sure,” Aahz replied. “But not right away. Let ‘em sweat a little. They kept us waiting the first time, remember?”

  It was nearly half an hour before we stepped from the tree line and advanced across the meadow to where the soldiers stood waiting. I had taken the precaution of outfitting Aahz
in his “dubious character” disguise for the conference. As for myself, I was bearing the invisibility sheet before me, so that though I was walking along beside Aahz, to the soldiers it appeared he was alone.

  There were more soldiers at the meeting point than there had been at our first meeting with Claude. Even to my untrained eye, it was apparent that there were more than half a dozen officers present among the honor guard.

  “You wish a meeting?” Aahz asked haughtily drawing to a halt before the group.

  There was a ripple of quick consultation among the soldiers. Finally one of them, apparently the leader, stepped forward.

  “We wish to speak with your master!” he announced formally.

  “He’s kinda busy right now,” Aahz yawned. ‘‘Anything I can help you with?”

  The leader reddened slightly.

  “I am the commander of this sector!” he barked. “I demand to see Skeeve, commander of the defense, not his lackey!”

  I dropped one of the bags of flash powder on the ground at my feet.

  “If you insist,” Aahz growled. “I’ll get him. But he won’t be happy.”

  “I’m not here to make him happy,” the leader shouted. “Now be off with you.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” Aahz leered. “He’s a magician. He hears and sees what his servants hear and see. He’ll be along.”

  That was my cue. I let drop the sheet of invisibility and simultaneously ignited the bag of flash powder.

  The results were spectacular.

  The soldiers, with the exception of the leader, fell back several steps. To them, it looked like I had suddenly appeared from thin air, materializing in a cloud of red smoke.

  For me, the effect was less impressive. As the bag of flash powder went off, it was made apparent to me that watching a cloud of smoke from a distance was markedly different from standing at ground zero.

  As I was enveloped in the scarlet billows, my feeling was not of elated triumph, but rather a nearly overwhelming desire to cough and sneeze.

  My efforts to suppress my reactions caused me to contort my features to the point where I must have borne more than a faint resemblance to Gus.

  “Steady, Master!” Aahz cautioned.

  ‘‘Aahz. Ah!” I gasped.

  “Do not let your anger overcome your reason,” my mentor continued hastily. “They don’t know the powers they trifle with.”

  “I ... I did not wish to be disturbed,” I managed at last, regaining my breath as the smoke dissipated.

  The leader of the group had held his ground through the entire proceedings, though he looked a bit paler and less sure of himself than when he had been dealing with just Aahz.

  “We ... um ... apologize for bothering you,” he began uncertainly. “But there are certain matters requiring your immediate attention ... specifically the war we are currently engaged in.”

  I eyed him carefully. He seemed to be of a different cut than Claude had been.

  “I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage, sir,” I said cagily. “You seem to know me, but I don’t recall having met you before.”

  “We have not met before,” the officer replied grimly. “If we had, be assured one of us would not be here currently. I know you by reputation, specifically your recent efforts to resist the advance of our army. For myself, I am Antonio, commander of the right wing of the left flank of the Empire’s army. These are my officers.”

  He indicated the soldiers behind him with a vague wave of his hand. The men responded by drawing themselves more erect and thrusting their chins out arrogantly.

  I acknowledged them with a slight nod.

  “Where is Claude?” I asked casually. “I was under the impression he was an officer of this sector.”

  “You are correct,” Antonio smirked. “He was. He is currently being detained until he can be properly court-martialed ... for incompetence!”

  “Incompetence?” I echoed. “Come now, sir. Aren’t you being a little harsh? While Claude may have overstepped his abilities a bit, I wouldn’t say he’s incompetent. I mean, after all, he was dealing with supernatural powers, if you know what I mean.”

  As I spoke, I wiggled my fingers dramatically at Aahz and removed his disguise.

  The jaws of the attending officers dropped, ruining their arrogant jut. Then Aahz grinned at them, and their mouths clicked shut in unison as they swallowed hard.

  Antonio was unimpressed.

  “Yes, yes,” he said briskly, waving a hand as if at an annoying fly. “We have had reports—many reports—as to your rapport with demons. Claude’s incompetence is in his disastrous underestimation of the forces opposing him. Be assured, I will not be guilty of the same error.”

  “Don’t count on it, Tony,” Aahz leered. “We demons can be a pretty tricky lot.”

  The officer ignored him.

  “However, we are not here for idle pleasantries,” he said, fixing me with a stern gaze. “I believe we have a dispute to settle concerning right of passage over this particular piece of terrain.”

  “We have a dispute concerning your right of passage over the kingdom of Possiltum,” I corrected.

  “Yes, yes,” Antonio yawned. “Of course, if you want to stop us from gaining Possiltum, you had best stop us here.”

  “That’s about how we had it figured,” Aahz agreed.

  “Not to belabor the point, Antonio,” I smiled. “But I believe we do have you stopped.”

  “Temporarily,” the officer smiled. “I expect that situation to change shortly ... shall we say, a few hours after dawn? Tomorrow?”

  “We’ll be here,” Aahz nodded.

  “Just a moment,” I interrupted. ‘‘Antonio, you strike me as being a sporting man. Would you like to make our encounter tomorrow a bit more interesting? Say, with a little side wager?”

  “Such as what?” the officer scowled.

  “If you lose tomorrow,” I said carefully. “Will you admit Claude’s defeat had nothing to do with incompetence and drop the charges against him?”

  Antonio thought for a moment, and then nodded.

  “Done,” he said, “Normally I would fear what the reaction of my superiors would be, but I am confident of my victory. There are things even a demon cannot stand against.”

  “Such as ...?” Aahz drawled.

  “You will see,” the officer smiled. “Tomorrow.”

  With that, he spun on his heel and marched off, his officers trailing behind him.

  “What do you think, Aahz?” I murmured.

  “Think?” my mentor scowled. “I think you’re going soft, kid. First Brockhurst, now Claude. What is this ‘be kind to enemies’ kick you’re on?”

  “I meant about tomorrow,” I clarified quickly.

  “I dunno, kid,” Aahz admitted. “He sounded too confident for comfort. I wish I knew what he’s got up his sleeve that’s supposed to stop demons.”

  “Well,” I sighed. “I guess we’ll see tomorrow.”

  OUR PENSIVENESS was still with us the next day.

  Our rivals were definitely up to something, but we couldn’t tell exactly what it was. Tanda and Brockhurst had headed out on a scouting trip during the night and had brought back puzzling news. The Empire’s soldiers had brought up some kind of heavy equipment, but it was hidden from sight by a huge box. All our scouts could say for sure was that whatever the secret weapon was, it was big and it was heavy.

  Gus offered to fly over the box to take a quick peek inside, but we vetoed the idea. With the box constantly in the center of a mass of soldiers, there was no way the gargoyle could carry out his mission unobserved. So far we had kept the gargoyle’s presence on our team a secret, and we preferred to keep it that way. Even if we disguised him as Aahz or myself, it would betray the fact that someone in our party was able to fly. As Aahz pointed out, it loo
ked like this campaign would be rough enough without giving the opposition advance warning of the extent of our abilities.

  This was all tactically sound and irrefutably logical. It also did nothing to reassure me as Aahz and I stood waiting for Antonio to make his opening gambit.

  “Relax, kid,” Aahz murmured. “You look nervous.”

  “I am nervous,” I snapped back. “We’re standing out here waiting to fight, and we don’t know who or what we’re supposed to be fighting. You’ll forgive me if that makes me a trifle edgy.”

  I was aware I was being unnecessarily harsh on my mentor. Ajax and Gus were standing by, and Brockhurst and Tanda were watching for any new developments. The only team member unaccounted for this morning was the Gremlin, but I thought it wisest not to bring this to Aahz’s attention. I assumed our elusive blue friend was off somewhere with Gleep, as my pet was also missing.

  Everything which could have been done in preparation had been done. However, I still felt uneasy.

  “Look at it this way, kid,” Aahz tried again. ‘‘At least we know what we aren’t up against.”

  What we weren’t dealing with were soldiers. Though a large number of them were gathered in the near vicinity, there seemed to be no effort being made to organize or arm them for battle. As the appointed time drew near, it became more and more apparent that they were to be spectators only in the upcoming fray.

  “I think I’d rather deal with soldiers,” I said glumly.

  “Heads up, kid,” Aahz retorted nudging me with his elbow. “Whatever’s going to happen is about to.”

  I knew what he meant, which bothered me. There was no time to ponder it, however. Antonio had just put in his appearance.

  He strolled around one corner of the mammoth box deep in conversation with a suspicious-looking character in a hooded cloak. He shot a glance in our direction, smiled and waved merrily.

  We didn’t wave back.

  “I don’t like the look of this, kid,” Aahz growled.

  I didn’t either, but there wasn’t much we could do except wait. Antonio finished his conversation with the stranger and stepped back, folding his arms across his chest. The stranger waved some of the onlooking soldiers aside and then stepped back himself. Drawing himself up, he began weaving his hands back and forth in a puzzling manner. Then the wind carried the sound to me and I realized he was chanting.