Shades of Summer (The Haunting Ruby Series Book 1)

by Joy Elbel

  “Two weeks?” I couldn’t survive two weeks without him! I tried to disguise the horrible feeling welling up through my belly. “Where are you going?”

  “Erie. We visit my aunt and cousins there every summer. I wish I didn’t have to leave you but my cousin Marcus has leukemia and I want to spend some time with him, you know, just in case. That and my mom and dad would never let me stay home alone for that long.”

  “Oh. I understand. I don’t want you to have any regrets.” No one understood regrets more than I did. I paused briefly then added, “I’m really going to miss you.” Suddenly, I had new regrets of my own. I never should have avoided him all week. All of the time I wasted trying to hide my secrets from him was time I would never get back.

  “I guess what I really need to say is, while I’m gone, if anything happens.…” His face was filled with worry. “If he comes back and hurts you again, I need you to call me. I’ll find a way to come home and protect you. I promise. If he comes anywhere near you.…” Zach’s voice wavered and he appeared to be imagining the worst in his head already.

  “Oh, Zach!” I threw my arms around him and held him tight. I couldn’t tell him now! That’s just not the kind of bomb you drop on someone when you won’t see them again for two weeks.

  He returned my embrace and spoke softly in my ear. “I can’t lose you now, Ruby. The thought of him touching you, harming you in any way…. Please promise me you’ll tell me if he comes near you again—the very second it happens. Day or night, I’ll find a way to save you.”

  And the vine of lies that was supposed to unravel instead wove ever tighter. “I promise, Zach,” I said, knowing full well that I wouldn’t be able to keep that promise if the time came. It just wouldn’t be possible to call him at three in the morning saying, He’s here in my room—can you come save me? Oh, and make sure to bring a priest, a handful of rosaries and a bucket of holy water!’ No, the truth would just have to wait until he returned.

  We held each other there for what seemed like forever. When we finally released our grip on each other, he broke the silence first. “I’ll call you every night—I promise. You’re not too mad at me are you?”

  “I don’t think I could ever be mad at you. It’s just not possible.” The real question was how mad was he going to be at me now that I had chosen to lie to him for another two weeks.

  He laughed heartily. “Oh, it’s definitely possible. I’m not always this perfect, you know.”

  “I find that hard to believe.” And that wasn’t just a line to make him feel good. I’d never met someone so perfect in all my life.

  “That’s what I like about you, you can see past my flaws.”

  I didn’t know what flaws he could possibly be talking about but I honestly didn’t care. “That’s what I like about you, too.” He did see past my flaws—that was obvious. But there was one last imperfection for him to accept about me, one I was forced to conceal for just a little while longer. Would he be willing to overlook something so huge? If the situation were reversed, I knew I would. But it wasn’t up to me—the decision was his and his alone. The fate of our relationship would be decided based on it. And the mere thought of losing Zach was scarier than any punishment Lee could dish out.

  “So what did you want to tell me?” Zach looked at me expectantly with his ice blue eyes ever the picture of innocence. Unlike mine, muddled with the stains of my lies.

  Unable to come clean yet again, everything I wanted to say had become nothing I could say so I said the first thing that came to mind instead. “Thank you for wanting to protect me. It means everything to me.”

  “Thank you for letting me,” he said with a smile. “You deserve to be safe you know. And with me, you always will be.” And he deserved the truth. Day by day, it grew harder and harder to lie to him.

  We caught up with Rachel and Boone after the demo and the four of us spent the rest of the day together laughing and having fun. Unanimously, we decided to head home around nine, tired yet happy. The backseat of Boone’s car seemed even smaller now that the teddy bear was with us so I sat in the middle snuggled between it and Zach. Judging by the look on his face, he didn’t seem to mind.

  Once the music was blasting and we were heading down the road, Zach reached under the seat, pulled something out, and handed it to me. It was a CD he’d burned himself. Written on the clear plastic case were my name and a heart drawn with a red marker.

  “I want you to have this. I have a copy, too. If we both listen to them when we go to bed at night, it’ll kind of be like we’re together.” He added self-consciously, “If you want to of course.”

  “Of course I want to. What songs are on it?”

  “Songs that remind me of you. I made it during the time we didn’t talk after the dog washing incident.” He lowered his eyes and I wondered if he had any idea how beautiful he looked in that moment, like a sweet, innocent little boy.

  “Oh.” We sort of brushed that episode under the rug but I never stopped wondering why he stopped talking to me after that. I had to ask for an answer.

  “Why? Why did you react that way after what happened—not talking to me, I mean?”

  “Because that was the moment I knew just how strongly I felt about you. I didn’t want to see you like that, not until I knew you better. And it kind of scared me.”

  “The sight of me in my underwear scared you?” Maybe I was missing the point but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what that meant. Yeah, so I knew I was no super model but was the sight of my half naked body really that frightening?

  Zach giggled like a small boy. “No, I’ve just never liked anyone the way I like you. It’s scary. It’s intense. But I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

  That was exactly how I felt about him. Did that mean he loved me, too? If he did, why didn’t he just come right out and say it? Boys are such complicated creatures! Why couldn’t they just say what was on their minds the way girls did? Frustrated by his lack of clarity on the subject, I was about to just say it first myself. But I didn’t. And I couldn’t—at least not until I was able to tell him the truth. So instead, I snuggled closer to him just in case it was the last time he allowed me to. I was tired and leaning against him made me want to fall asleep right there. I stayed that way for so long that he thought I dozed off. But I hadn’t.

  “Hey, Boone,” he said as quietly as he could without waking me but still loud enough for Boone to hear him. “Ruby’s asleep. Can you turn the music down?” I knew it was a little bit sneaky but I pretended to be asleep so I could hear what he would say when he thought I wasn’t listening.

  “Sure man. It looks like Rachel’s catching some zzz’s too.” The music went from blaring to barely there.

  “Thanks.” We drove in relative silence for several minutes. I was just starting to think the eavesdropping thing wasn’t going to yield any results when Boone spoke again.

  “You guys have fun today?” What if Zach said no? Would I be able to stay there motionless if I heard something I didn’t want to hear?”

  “It was the best day of my life. She’s awesome.” Hearing the sincerity in his voice was a relief.

  “Yeah, you guys seem to have a lot in common. And if you don’t mind me saying so, she’s pretty damned hot, too.”

  Boone thought I was hot? He was dating one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen and he thought I was hot? Did every boy in this town need glasses?

  “I’ll let it slide this time.” Zach laughed then added, “It’s funny though, I don’t think she even realizes it herself.”

  “That’s probably a good thing. Rachel knows she’s hot and I never stop hearing about it. But I love her anyway.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  He knows what he means. Was he implying that he loved me or that he thought Rachel was conceited, too? I waited for him to clarify the statement but the words never came. After a lengthy pause in the conversation, I assumed it was over. I was about to ‘wake up’ when Boo
ne spoke again.

  “You’ve really got it bad for her, don’t you?” Good thing I didn’t blow my cover—it was about to get interesting.

  Zach shifted his arm and pulled me closer to him. His right arm had been resting on his leg but now he used it to brush my hair away from my face. “I do, Boone. Something happened the day we met. I’ve never felt anything like it before.”

  I expected Boone to crack a joke and call him Romeo at any second but it never came. “That’s how I feel about Rachel. I’m glad it finally happened for you, too.”

  Listening in on their conversation was more shocking than I imagined it would be. I never knew boys talked about emotional things like this together. For real, I didn’t think they discussed anything but sports and the female anatomy. And disgusting bodily functions. But I was so wrong. Boys weren’t total pigs after all—at least not all boys. In fact, thinking back on some of our conversations, Rachel and I were far worse. Again, it felt like everything in my life was the exact opposite of what I thought it was. And it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. Nor was the sudden wave of exhaustion sweeping over me.

  “Thanks, Boone. I’m glad it happened, too.” Zach said as he kissed me lightly on the top of my head. That was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep for real.

  14. Plan of Action

  I woke up slowly to the sweet sound of Zach’s voice calling my name. Caught up in yet another dream about us kissing in the fountain, it took me a few seconds to figure out where I was. It may not have been the fountain, but finding myself still in his arms was not a disappointment. Oh, but I had a bad habit of drooling in my sleep, so I cracked one eye to inspect his shirt for wet spots. Nothing. Bone dry. Relief. Opening my other eye, I sat up and stretched out the kink in my neck. As good as it felt to be with him, I fell asleep in a very awkward position and my neck and back ached. Still, uncomfortable as it was, I would sleep that way every night as opposed to in my own bed. I looked out the window and realized we were at his house already. Disappointment set in. I didn’t have very much time left with him before he left for vacation. Two long, depressing weeks of vacation.

  “Come on, Ruby. Hand me your stuff. I’m going to drive you the rest of the way home.” He opened the car door for me and helped me out. My legs were cramped from riding in the backseat and I nearly fell face first getting out. Zach’s quick reflexes kicked in and he steadied me until I found my footing.

  “Don’t worry—I’ll never let you fall.” Never was a word I didn’t put much stock in. Things change, people change. In the short time I’d known him, Zach somehow chipped away my cynical exterior and revealed something I didn’t even know was there. Hope. Hope that I could be normal someday. Hope that I could find love again. There was a hollow feeling in my chest just thinking that I wouldn’t see him for two whole weeks. How horrible was I going to feel once he was actually gone?

  He loaded my stuff into the backseat of his car then opened the door for me to get in. As we pulled out of the drive, he said to me, “I’m really going to miss you when I’m gone.” Now that the day was almost over, a feeling of despair swept over me. Two weeks without him meant two weeks alone with Lee.

  “I’m going to miss you more,” I replied, knowing that tears were about to follow.

  “I don’t think that’s possible.” He sighed heavily. “Don’t forget your promise, Ruby. If he comes anywhere near you, call me. If anything bad happened to you, I don’t know what I would do.” His voice wavered like he was about to cry, too.

  The promise I couldn’t keep. But since this was the last lie I would have to tell him, I swallowed hard and told him what he wanted to hear. “I promise,” I said to him through guilty tears. As soon as he got back, I would tell him the truth. What harm could one more lie do?

  “Good. And I promise to call you every night.”

  I nodded in agreement. We were almost to the gates in front of Rosewood but I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. There was one more thing I had to do. “Stop the car!” I cried urgently.

  The words were no sooner out of my mouth than the car came to a skidding halt on the side of the road, throwing clouds of dust in the air. I flung my arms around him and wept into his shoulder.

  “It’s going to be okay.” He ran his hands up and down the length of my back soothingly. “The time will just fly by, you’ll see. You’ll barely even notice I’m gone.”

  Hardly. I would miss him the second he was out of my sight. But it had to be okay. I couldn’t let happiness be ripped away from me once again. I would find a way to make peace with Lee so that I could move on with Zach. And I had two weeks to do it.

  “I’m going to miss you so much!” The words paled in comparison to how I actually felt. I felt like telling him I loved him. But I didn’t.

  “I’m going to miss you, too, Ruby. But when I get back, we’ll make up for all the lost time, I swear.”

  “Okay.” I didn’t want to but I knew I had to let him go. But as I pulled away, he caught me and drew me in for a kiss. His lips touched mine so softly, so sweetly. It was as sweet and innocent as the way I kissed him the night before. We parted briefly once and then again a second time. After the third and final kiss I was breathless. I was amazed by his self-control. If it hadn’t been for his lead, I would have all but devoured him. But I was glad I didn’t. It was the most satisfying kiss I’d ever had. I was dizzy, my brain swirled with euphoria unlike anything I’d felt before and I wanted to be kissed that way every day for the rest of my life. Why didn’t I ever feel that way about Lee? I loved him without a doubt but for some reason Zach made me feel things I’d never felt before. There was definitely something different about him and whatever it was, I was hooked.

  Shelly and Dad were waiting for us on the front porch making me relieved that his goodnight kiss was already safely on my lips. Zach helped me haul my stuff to the porch and lingered for a proper goodbye. Shelly, observant as ever, realized we needed a moment alone so she found a reason to get my clueless father inside the house. Zach hugged me one more time and we said goodbye. I walked inside the mansion with the oddest mix of elation and trepidation imaginable. Two weeks.

  I crept into my attic room cautiously but Mimi and Coco were the only creatures waiting for me. Instead of dark malice, I was met with some serious purring. Coco even climbed my clothes to sit on my shoulder and nuzzle my ear. I was too tired to put away my stuff so I dumped my bags just inside the door. The only things I took to the bedroom with me were the giant teddy bear and the CD Zach made for me.

  I dug out a fresh pair of pajamas and sat on my bed hugging the bear and wishing it were Zach instead. Two long weeks to waste away without him. Two long weeks alone to figure out a way to get Lee out of my life forever. And I resolved to start first thing in the morning. I was feeling way too Zach-tastic to even think about it tonight. As I was crawling under the covers, the sound of my muffled ringtone came from somewhere deep inside my bag. Zach!

  My legs got tangled in my sheet and by the time I got to my phone my voicemail was about to kick in. Quickly, I pressed the button and caught it in time. We just spent two days together. Why did I already need to hear his voice so badly?

  “Zach!” I nearly shouted with exuberance. While I knew that I should at least try to pretend that the mere sound of his voice didn’t make me weak in the knees, I couldn’t seem to help myself when it came to him.

  “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  He sounded sleepy so I closed my eyes and pictured him the way he looked at breakfast. I hated mornings but now that Zach was on the menu, breakfast was my favorite meal of the day.

  “No, I was just getting ready for bed. How about you?”

  “Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice again before I left. We’re leaving early in the morning so this was my last chance to do it. I had to say goodnight one more time—I had to hear you say it back. If only I could kiss you through the phone, too.”

  This was where my innate dorkiness took over. “You
can.”

  “If anyone else said that, I would laugh at them. But when you say it, it somehow seems possible. You’re one mysterious girl, Ruby. So where’s my kiss?”

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Okay, eyes closed. Now what?”

  “Wait for it….” I paused just long enough to create a little suspense. “Wait for it….” This time I paused for a second longer. “MWAH!”

  I don’t know what reaction I was hoping for, but I felt like a total idiot when all I heard was laughter on the other end of the phone. Why did I just do that? It was immature, something a twelve year old would say. He was probably reconsidering our entire relationship over this one stupid comment. Maybe there was time to repair the damage, make him think I did it just for a laugh. “Yeah, I’m a complete dork sometimes,” I muttered.

  “Ha ha, no, that was funny! Mwah back!”

  Giant sigh of relief. He thought it was funny—and for the right reason. He wasn’t laughing at me, he was laughing with me! I had a very quirky sense of humor, one most people didn’t seem to get so I stopped sharing it years ago. Lee once enjoyed my silliness but after everything he went through, even his appreciation was all but gone. Zach, on the other hand, seemed charmed by it. In fact, he seemed charmed by everything I did. My relationship with Lee was complicated but good—or so I thought. But the more time I spent with Zach, the more I realized it may not have been as good as I thought it was. I started to question everything about that relationship and in turn, everything about myself, as well.

  “Ruby, are you still there?”

  Now was not the time to analyze my past—I would have two whole lonely weeks to do that. Right now, I needed to focus on what was important. Zach.