Endlessly (Paranormalcy)

by Kiersten White

  “Illinois,” Raquel answered. “Normal, Illinois, a couple of hours outside Chicago.”

  I snorted. “Finally, IPCA gets a sense of humor. Arianna, can you help them with computer stuff?”

  She nodded.

  David had his phone out; he’d been texting furiously for the last hour. “I’ve got some other contacts coming in. Defectors from IPCA—people are tampering with the trackers and leaving in droves now that they’ve gone completely mad there; everything is shutting down without the faeries Raquel freed. We’ll have all the human, werewolf, and vampire manpower we’ll need.”

  “Awesome. And I’m assuming you’ll have whatever supernatural aid you need?”

  “Only a few types are up for land travel, but, yes. It won’t be easy, but I think we can crack this last reserve.”

  I nodded. “Good. Because I’m going to the Faerie Realms, and I’m not coming back until I have Carlee and every other human with me.” Reth looked up and locked eyes with me, then nodded. His eyes had dark circles under them, but he seemed a bit more energetic than he had when he collapsed earlier.

  “Evie, that’s much too dangerous,” Raquel said. “The Seelie Court needs to be in charge of that.”

  “I don’t trust them to be in charge of it. They don’t see people as individuals. We’re like sheep. There’s no way I’d trust them with Carlee’s life.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Lend said.

  David shook his head. “You two will do no such thing.”

  “I know you want to keep us safe.” I smiled. “But fact of the matter is we’re both in this deeper than you and Raquel ever can be. That whole we’re-the-adults-and-this-isn’t-your-problem speech you pulled out when Vivian was rampaging doesn’t apply anymore. It didn’t even back then, much as I wanted it to. This needs fixing, and I am the one who is going to fix it. I’m okay with that.”

  Arianna nodded. “But how? What are you going to do?”

  “I have some ideas. But first I need something in my stomach before I fall over. So let’s go eat and plot and then save the world.”

  David sighed, looking thoughtful.

  “What’s up, Dad?” Lend asked.

  “I’m trying to figure out if there’s any way I can lock you two in your rooms. I don’t think a simple grounding will do it.”

  Raquel laughed. “Good luck trying to force Evie to do anything else once she has made up her mind. She is the definition of a stubborn, headstrong teenager.”

  “And you love me for it.”

  “I do.” She hugged me, the spontaneity of the gesture surprising me. Even Lend’s expression softened slightly toward her.

  Back at the house, David and Raquel disappeared into the office to plan. Lend watched them go, holding hands, with a troubled look on his face.

  “You okay with that?” I asked.

  “No. But…he’s walking different. Springier, you know?”

  I nodded, squeezing Lend’s arm. “They both seem really happy.”

  Lend sighed heavily. Maybe he and Raquel had more in common than he thought. I slumped at the counter, exhausted after my crazy faerie dream sleep, too tired to talk more. My eyes were so dry I could hear myself blink. Click, click, click they went.

  Lend stood staring blankly at the shelves of food. Arianna had sneaked upstairs to eat—or rather, drink—in private. “I have no idea what to make. I’m too exhausted to think.”

  “You have no right to be tired. And I never want to see you asleep ever again. I had enough of that for a lifetime these past few days.”

  “Allow me to take over,” Jack said, striding into the kitchen. He nudged Lend out of the way and started pulling out a huge pile of ingredients.

  “Can you even cook?”

  “If Lend had let me make him an omelet earlier, that question would already be answered.”

  Lend sat next to me, leaning over and putting his arm under my head as a pillow against the counter. “Remind me again why we trust him now?”

  “Because we need all the help we can get. And I think he really is sorry. And a lot of people are going to depend on him if all the faeries leave.”

  Jack furiously chopped vegetables. “Captain Dependable! Wait, we vetoed that one. The Divine Door Maker? Too much? Hmm…Handsome Hero, but maybe I should move away from alliteration. Something sleek. Our Lord and Master Jack.”

  Lend rolled his eyes and gave me a seriously-can-I-just-beat-him-to-a-pulp look. I smiled and shook my head. It didn’t even feel weird to be around Jack and laughing with him anymore. I thought about the faeries, and how the last thing they wanted was to change. I, for one, had decided that I was endlessly grateful that I could change for the better and that I could let the people around me do the same.

  Like Vivian. I wondered about her. The last dream we’d shared had been so different; she’d felt so far away. My stomach turned, and I hoped against hope that didn’t mean she was dying. Selfish as it was of me, since she didn’t really have a life at all these days, I didn’t want to lose her forever, not like Lish. After we’d settled everything here, I’d figure out a way to get her out of the Center and into a proper hospital close by.

  “Do you have any cheese preferences?” Jack asked.

  “All cheese is good cheese,” Lend said.

  “True dat.” I nodded solemnly.

  “You did not just say ‘true dat,’” Arianna said, walking into the kitchen. “Because if you think you have any ability whatsoever to pull that off, we are going to have to have a long, long talk.”

  “Can I at least use it ironically? Or ‘dude.’ Can I use ‘dude?’ Because I really want to be able to use ‘dude.’”

  “No. No, you cannot, but thank you for asking. Besides, ironic use always segues into non-ironic use, and unless you suddenly become far cooler or far more actually Californian than you are now, I simply cannot allow it.”

  “But on Easton Heights—”

  “You are not going to bring up Carys’s cousin Trevyn’s multiepisode arc where he’s sent there as punishment for his pot-smoking surf-bum ways, are you? Because that arc sucked, and he wasn’t even very hot. Also, what’s the lunatic doing?” She jerked her head toward Jack.

  He flipped a gorgeous looking omelet onto a plate and placed it with a flourish in front of Lend. “I am providing insurance against frying pan boy deciding to enact all the very painful fantasies he’s no doubt entertained about me for the last few weeks. An omelet this good should rule out any dismemberment vengeance.”

  “Have you been reading his diary?” I asked. “Because I’ll bet he got really creative with the violence ideas.”

  “No, I only ever read yours. But let me tell you, one more exclamation mark dotted with a heart while talking about how good a kisser Lend is and I was about ready to do myself in. You’re rather single-minded when it comes to adoring him.”

  “True dat,” Arianna said, nodding.

  “How come you can use ‘true dat’ if I can’t?” I asked, rightfully outraged.

  “Because I am dead, and none of the rules apply anymore.”

  Lend ate his omelet, refusing to answer Jack’s questions about just how delicious it was on a scale from cutting off limbs to just breaking his nose. I gave Jack full points for flavor but noted the texture was slightly off, exempting him from name-calling but not from dirty looks.

  Arianna lounged against the counter, and when I finished first we debated the usage rules of “dude,” “true dat,” and my favorite, “for serious.”

  “I kind of wish they’d shut up,” Jack said.

  “Dude, true dat,” Lend answered.

  Jack nodded solemnly. “For serious.”

  I laughed, so giddy with relief to have Lend, my Lend, whole and well and back with me, touching me, that even this bizarre scene in the kitchen, hanging out, seemed wonderful. I was pretty sure it was the last normal I was going to have for a long, long time. Whatever happened in the next few days, things would never be the same—not for C
arlee, not for Jack, not for me…and not for Lend.

  JACK IS CLEVER, JACK IS GOOD

  We need a plan,” I said.

  “We are having far too many of those lately for my tastes,” Jack said. “I vote Molotov cocktails. That one was fun.”

  “Much as I like lighting things on fire”—which I kind of had, more than I thought I would—“the goal here is to get everyone out safe. Not to blow them up.”

  Jack spun a butter knife around and around on the counter. “See, the problem with this isn’t going to be the faeries. They probably won’t be expecting anything because they can’t imagine anyone being cleverer than them. The problem is going to be the people.”

  “Why?” Lend asked.

  “They aren’t going to want to be rescued. They don’t even know they need to be.”

  “It’s true,” I said, frowning. “They looked super happy. All of them. Even the ones in the dance, but I’ll have Reth send other Seelies after them.” I shuddered, curling my toes. My feet still hurt, but with the faerie soul in me, it was more like an annoying fly buzzing in the next room. I noticed it, but it didn’t affect me. “With everyone else, it’s part of the faerie magic—when they kidnap you, you want them to.” I would have happily gone with Reth back when he first started paying attention to me. It would have been a dream come true. I shuddered.

  “And once you’re there,” Jack added, “it takes over everything. You lose who you were before. It kind of floats away from you until you can’t remember and don’t care.”

  “How did you keep ahold of yourself?” I asked Jack. “I mean, you’re not exactly blissed out over faeries. What was different?”

  He started tapping the knife on the granite counter, a plinking beat. “I dunno.”

  “There has to be something. Think.”

  He shifted uncomfortably, the beat going faster until it was a staccato nightmare. “I think…I think it was my name.”

  “That makes sense—repeating my name to myself is how I kept from going under the Dark Queen’s influence. But why won’t the others know their names?”

  “I—” Lend reached out and snatched the knife away from Jack, who glared at him but kept talking. “It’s one of the first things most people lose. Because no one ever uses it, and the faeries don’t care—they call you other things, give you a new name, and it sort of leeches your old one away along with all your memories. The faeries are very, very good at taking everything.”

  His big blue eyes looked haunted as he stared blankly at the countertop. I put my hand on top of his. “But how did you keep yours?”

  He blinked quickly. “A song. It’s the only thing I remember from before. I think my mom sang it to me; just this silly, story song about Jack the Clever Boy.” He paused, then in a soft voice started singing, “Jack is clever, Jack is strong, Jack is Mommy’s favorite song. Jack is sweet and Jack is good, loves his mother like he should. Jack is precious, Jack is mine, knows I love him all the time.” His voice broke toward the end and he cleared his throat. “Umm, yeah. Like that. I don’t remember anything else about her or my life before, but she must have sung that song to me a million times, because even in the Faerie Realms I could always hear the tune and remember the words. So I never lost my name. Then as I got older I figured out the longer I could stay away from faeries, the more I got myself back, could make my own decisions.”

  Even Lend looked sympathetic. How could we blame Jack for all his crazy when this was all he’d ever known, when even holding on to himself was an epic struggle?

  “Okay.” Lend leaned back and ran his hands through his hair the same way his dad often did. “So all we have to do is figure out the names of the hundreds of people there?”

  “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. The only name I know is Carlee’s.”

  “I liked her.” Jack’s voice was almost wistful. “When she smiled, you always knew she meant it. I hope she’s still herself.”

  “We’ll get her back.” Lend put his hand on my shoulder. I leaned my head against his skin, trying to figure out some way, any way we could make the name thing work. Jack, who apparently always had to be moving in some way, had made up for the missing knife by grabbing a half loaf of French bread and methodically ripping it into tiny pieces.

  “Wait,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Why don’t faeries like bread?”

  “Hmm?” Jack looked up, then shrugged. “I dunno.”

  Lend picked up a piece, crumbling it. “My dad said he thought it was because it was the staff of life for people.”

  “Nasty stuff tastes like mold,” Jack said. “I tried a piece once a while ago when I was still trying to force myself to eat normal food so I could stay here. It was like a shock to my whole system.” He shuddered at the memory.

  I sat up, an idea forming. “We can’t take iron through the Faerie Paths. Do you think we could take bread?”

  “Why?” Jack asked, wrinkling his nose.

  “A shock! That’s what it felt like when we were stuck in the dance and Reth said my name. It was this huge jolt that got my mind off the track the faerie music had stuck it on. Maybe we can use bread to knock the people’s brains off their faerie high! Get them to start thinking clearly!”

  Jack scratched his head, his blond curls sticking up at a funny angle. “You know, that might actually work.” He grabbed a handful of crumbs and walked over to the wall, putting his free hand against it and concentrating. The light traced out a door and opened into black. We all held our breath as he took the hand with the bread and shoved it through. It didn’t stop dead like anything with iron would. He turned back to us, letting the door close, and grinned.

  I jumped up, my hands in the air. “Yes!”

  Lend laughed. “Okay, looks like I need to make a run to the grocery store. Do faeries hate wheat or white bread more, you think?”

  “Get bread with raisins,” I said. “Everyone hates raisins.”

  Jack was bouncing, obviously excited. “That’s all we need, right?”

  “We need Reth.”

  “No,” Lend and Jack whined in unison.

  “Come on, you two. Reth knows the Faerie Realms better than you do. Jack, you didn’t see where the people were; it might take you a while to find them, and that’s time we can’t afford to lose. And Reth’s getting worse; being there might give him more time.”

  Lend scowled, grabbing the car keys off the counter. “Fine. But I’m really getting tired of his stupid smirk and prissy clothes.”

  Jack nodded. “And his voice that sounds like it’d even taste good. Really, it’s overkill. Best to have only a few absolutely perfect traits—for example, my hair and eyes and sparkling personality—so you don’t overwhelm.”

  “Aww, are you guys jealous of how pretty Reth is? That’s kind of adorable.”

  “You know I could look exactly like him,” Lend said, frowning darkly.

  “Please for the love of all that is good and holy, never, ever wear Reth. That’s the stuff of nightmares.”

  That brightened his face a bit and he left me with a lingering kiss and a promise to be back with every loaf of bread we could carry.

  “Well, go find your stupid faerie boyfriend,” Jack said, lying down on top of the counter and drumming his fingers on his stomach. “I haven’t filled my quota for pissing off the Dark Court yet this week.”

  “We are going to blow your quota sky high.”

  He held up a hand and I high-fived him as I walked past and out of the house toward the trail. Yet again. I should have invested in a dirt bike or something given the amount of mileage I was getting out of the path between the house and the pond.

  A jumbo white van pulled up into the driveway and people piled out of it. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously when I saw that they were all werewolves. If this was another attempt by Anne-Whatever Whatever to try and get me away from the protections here, I was going to let the dragon eat each and every one of them.

  “Evie?”

  I did a
double take. “Charlotte?”

  My former tutor ran forward and threw her arms around me, beaming. She still had the same warm brown hair and warm brown eyes over her yellow wolf eyes, but the lingering sadness that had always been on her face before we got her out of the Center and reunited her with her sister was entirely gone.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “We’re here to help David and Raquel. Some of us have scores to settle with IPCA.” Her smile was still in place, but it had a hint of iron behind it. I squirmed a bit inside, knowing that because of IPCA’s old eugenics policies Charlotte would never be able to have kids.

  I nodded. “I’m down with that. They’re inside in the office, I think.”

  “You coming with us?”

  “Not this time. I’ve got a different errand to run.”

  “Okay.” She reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear affectionately. “Be careful. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to the worst Spanish student in the history of the language.”

  I laughed. “No problemo.”

  By the time I found Reth, he was deep in discussion with the banshees, their discordant voices chiding him for something or other. I hated to pull him away from getting chewed out, but it had to be done. Another faerie, all spring and mint green, was with him. After briefly explaining about the location of the dancers, she left to retrieve them. I wanted to send Reth because I trusted him more, but he didn’t look good. I’d keep him with me so I could keep an eye on him. He wouldn’t ask for help—not from anyone—but I’d be there no matter what.

  When we got back to the house, Lend was already there with several grocery bags full of bread. Reth turned his head away as though the very sight of it was distasteful. “Even the food of this world is nothing but decay.”

  Clearly he had never tried pizza, because honestly.

  We linked hands—my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then-friend and I—and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all.