Saying Yes: Stormy Love: Book 1

by Ella Sparkle

  Jenna smiled at me and let out a sleepy moan. “Mmmmmmmmmmm. I did. Better than I have in a while. How long have you been up?” She asked, looking around the kitchen, blinking in the bright daylight.

  “Just long enough to get the coffee going and start on some bacon and eggs. Hope you're hungry,” I said, smiling. God, she was cute first thing in the morning.

  “Starving! Can I pour you a cup of coffee?” Jenna walked over to the cabinet where I kept the mugs. When she reached up to grab one, the t-shirt that she was wearing rode up just enough to show she wasn’t wearing anything under it. Fuck me.

  I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. “You look so amazing in my t-shirt with your hair all wild. In fact, you look so amazing, I may just have to give you all my other shirts.” I'm sure she could feel how sexy I found her in my shirt by what I pressed up against her backside.

  Jenna put her hands over mine. “I would be totally okay with that.”

  “Oh yeah?” I whispered in her ear as I started kissing my way around her neck and down her shoulder. I just couldn’t keep my hands - or my mouth - off her.

  “Mmmmmmmm,” she moaned, rolling her head to the side to give me better access to her neck. “I would. Because that means you would be shirtless all the time. I would be very supportive of that.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle into her neck as Jenna let out a little shiver. She spun around in my arms and rose up on her tiptoes before placing a soft kiss on my lips. I looked down at her tenderly. “I am glad you are here this morning,” I said in a voice barely above a whisper.

  “Me too,” she said right before delivering another kiss.

  I could hear the bacon in the pan sizzling. “I better get back to the bacon before it burns.”

  “Right, and I'm on coffee duty.” Jenna spun back around and started filling up the mugs.

  “Do you want to eat on the balcony this morning?” I asked as I stirred the scrambled eggs and flipped the bacon. Jenna nodded and sipped her coffee. “If you want to take the coffees out there, I'll meet you with the food,” I said, glancing up from the food in the pan.

  Jenna came over to the stove and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Sure. See you in a few minutes.” I couldn’t help but watch the delicious swish of her hips as she walked away. I quickly put the food on a couple of plates and headed out to the balcony. I wasn’t looking forward to the conversation we were about to have, but I knew what I needed to do. Just because I knew it needed to happen, I didn’t have to like it.

  We ate on the balcony in comfortable silence. It was only after we finished eating that the silence seemed to shift into awkwardness. We knew we had to talk, but neither of us wanted to take the plunge and start. I had no problem having tough conversations and taking people on at work, but this; this was different. She was different and I didn’t want to make what felt like an already tenuous situation worse.

  I was trying to think of a good start when Jenna spoke up. “I'm leaving in a few weeks for school and we haven't really talked about...us...and what that will look like. I think we need to do that now, especially in light of what just happened.”

  I nodded my head in agreement. “You're right. I knew this was coming... you told me the night we left the club together. I guess I was just too busy enjoying the moment to think about what comes next.”

  Jenna shifted in her seat. “I guess it would be helpful to start with what we are? How do you define us?”

  What a loaded fucking question.

  Chapter 40

  Nick

  How would I define us?

  I wanted to say I had never felt the way I did with her with anyone else before. That I hadn’t ever imagined someone like her in my life, but ever since I had been with her, I didn’t want to imagine what life would be like when she left. I wanted to say the other night when I thought I lost her, I had never been more scared or more heartbroken. I wanted to tell her the thought of her with anyone else unleashed a wild feeling of jealousy that made me feel crazy. I also wanted to tell her how proud I was of her pursuing her dreams and that as much as it hurt me, I wasn’t going to stand in the way. I understood that she'd had a plan before we'd even met.

  Instead of saying all of those things, I rubbed my hand down my face and took a deep breath before leaning back in my chair. I gave Jenna the vaguest answer that I could think of. “I would say we are two compatible people that enjoy being with each other.”

  Jenna sat staring off at something in the distance for a while before she turned to me. “If that is the case, then where do you see this going?”

  I thought for a moment. “Well, I can’t move with you. Blaine Construction is a part of this community and I have too many people depending on me for employment. I have worked really hard the past few years to get it up and running. It's not something I can leave or leave in someone else's hands.”

  “I'm not asking you to move with me,” Jenna said, so quickly it took me by surprise. “I’ll be honest and say the thought had crossed my mind, but I understand you are committed to Blaine Construction and this town, which means you need to stay here.”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I'm not asking you to stay. I understand your dream has been to go to law school and it was a plan that was in place before we even met. I could never stand in the way of that.” I felt myself starting to choke up a little as the words came out of my mouth.

  “So where does that put us? You can’t leave, I can’t stay and there's going to be at least a four-hour drive between us for the next three years.” Jenna said, sounding defeated – or did I imagine the sadness in her voice? I was having a hard time reading her.

  There was a long, awkward pause as we both let the reality of our situation soak in. We were at the part where I should end things and tell her to go and follow her dreams unencumbered, but I just couldn’t. I was not enough of an asshole to keep her from leaving, but I was just selfish enough, I couldn't completely let her go. I knew there was an expiration date on what we were doing, but I no longer wanted it to end.

  “Listen,” I said slowly as I tried to piece together in my mind how to make everything work. “We have been having a great time together, which is why I think neither one of us wanted to bring this up earlier. However, we are both at a place in our own lives where we have other commitments.”

  “This is true...” Jenna turned to look at me. The expression on her face was hopeful.

  I sighed. “Honestly, I have never been much of a relationship guy and I have never really seen myself settling down...” The look on Jenna’s face went from hopeful to disappointed. I immediately wished I could take my words back. In part because of the look on her face, and in part because as soon as I said them, I realized that while they may have been true once, things had changed and they no longer were. As I was sitting there and trying to cling on to... whatever it was we had. I realized I could see myself with Jenna in the future; in a big house, filled with kids, dogs, all of the family shit I never wanted before but suddenly now wanted with all my body and soul... and I wanted it with Jenna.

  Holy shit! Was I in love with Jenna Morgan? Is this what being in love with someone felt like?

  The thought froze me in place for a moment. It wasn’t supposed to be like that, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her.

  “Nick, what is going on?” I suddenly snapped back to attention. “I asked you a question, Nick, and I need you to please answer it.”

  “I'm sorry, what was the question?” I had been so stuck in my head I had zoned out completely and hadn’t even been listening to her.

  Jenna sighed. “What are we doing, Nick? What is the end game?”

  “Why don’t we just keep things as they are, only we'll be living in two separate places?” I blurted out.

  Jenna looked confused. “What do you mean by that?”

  Fuck. What did I mean by that? I just opened my mouth and started talking. “What if we just kept things as t
hey are, but we just see each other less? You're going to be busy with law school and I'm going to be busy with the new projects Blaine Construction has going, so... so we just see each other when we can.” Damn, it actually didn’t sound too bad for something I just made up on the fly.

  “So, let me get this straight. You don’t want this to be a relationship, but you want to keep in contact and see each other when we can?” Jenna did not sound at all convinced it was a good idea.

  “I know it sounds... different. I don’t want you totally out of my life, Jenna, but I also realize we can’t physically be in the same location. We are both going to have crazy schedules and seeing each other when we can is a no-pressure way of making things work.”

  Jenna scrunched her face up. “This all seems very loose and undefined...” she started to say.

  "That's the beauty of it,” I jumped in and smiled at her trying to convince her that it would work. She could go to law school and pursue her dreams and I could still be a part of her life.

  “What you're talking about seems more like a friendship than anything else.” Jenna said, letting out a heavy sigh.

  “It's more like two people who are pursuing different things but enjoy being together when they can.” There was an edge of panic in my voice. She looked and sounded like she was going to say no, which left the only other option being us just completely ending things.

  That was not an option as far as I was concerned.

  “Alright,” Jenna said hesitantly. “I will say yes. We can try this out and see how it goes.”

  I leaned back in my chair as I felt flooded with relief. “Do we still have some time until you leave?” I asked.

  Jenna nodded her head. “I leave in just under two weeks. Although, right now, I really need to get home to shower and change for work. I put my notice in at Pete’s Pizza, but I still have a few more shifts scheduled.” Jenna looked away from me and stared down and her hands folded in her lap. “I honestly need some time to process everything as well. There has been a whole lot to take in.”

  “Yes, of course. Let me walk you out to your car.” Something seemed really off with Jenna. I didn’t want her to leave like that, but I also understood she had to get to work.

  As we walked out to her car, the energy between us felt different. It was strained which was a completely new feeling between Jenna and me. When we got to her car, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed her in a hug and clung to her like my fucking life depended on it. She grabbed on to me as well and we just stood there holding on. The hug felt different too and I started to worry she was already slipping away. I cleared my throat and my voice came out all ragged. “Well, I guess you need to get going. Will I see you again soon?”

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” was all she said before she quickly got into her car.

  I stood in the driveway and watched her pull away. My heart felt heavy and my eyes glistened with unshed tears. My shoulders slumped forward and I pinched the bridge of my nose while closing my eyes to keep the tears from falling.

  For a moment I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I was in completely uncharted territory with new feelings and I had no fucking clue what the hell to do about it.

  Chapter 41

  Jenna

  The week seemed to fly by. I had just finished my last day at Pete’s Pizza, and we were going out for an informal goodbye party. I was at Cassie’s house getting ready, or more accurately, I was at Cassie’s house and she was getting me ready.

  “Is Nick going to meet up with us tonight?” Cassie asked as she flipped through a rack of dresses in her closet.

  “I think so... I hope so. Actually, I don’t really know.” I was laying on Cassie’s bed looking up at the ceiling, trying not to think about Nick and how confused I was about everything that had happened over the past week.

  Cassie stopped flipping through the hangers and poked her head out of her closet. “Ummmmmm...what kind of answer is that? Is everything okay with you two? You've been super vague about Nick ever since the night he stood you up, which was not really a stand up. Did you two kiss and make up?”

  I sighed and rubbed my temples. “I honestly don’t know what is going on. We talked about the whole broken phone thing and I thought we were past it. But, the next day we had a talk about what happens when I move and it honestly just left me more confused than before we spoke about it.”

  I felt the bed move as Cassie came and laid down next to me. “Holy shit. You guys finally did it. I was wondering if it was ever going to happen. How did it go?”

  “It was confusing. Basically, he is not leaving, I am not staying, but he wants to keep everything the same, we'd just be seeing each other less.”

  Cassie rolled over on her side to face me. “Uhhhhhh...what the fuck does that even mean?” She said looking at me quizzically.

  “He told me he's not a ‘relationship type’ of guy and he doesn't see himself settling down.” Saying the words out loud stung just as much as when Nick said them the first time.

  “Well, that is mighty interesting. What you guys have been doing together is a fucking relationship, no matter what Nick says. You spend a whole lot of time together, you talk on the phone and text regularly, and you have been doing other consenting adult activities...” Cassie paused to wiggle her hips and her eyebrows at me, causing me to laugh. “You are both not seeing other people and you both seem to genuinely care about each other. Sounds an awful lot like a relationship to me.”

  I sighed and propped my head up with my arm. “I know. That was all true up until this past week. Having our conversation seemed to shift things with us. We haven't stayed the night with each other since then. Actually, I've only seen him twice this past week. Once was when we went to lunch together, but it was cut short by a work emergency he had to leave for. The other was when he stopped at Pete's to grab a slice and a soda while I was working.”

  “Do you think he's doing that on purpose, or do you think he is really busy with work?” Cassie asked the question I had asked myself all week.

  “I don’t know, and that's the hard part! Did we ruin everything by trying to define what we're doing? Maybe we just had different ideas about what this was. On one hand, I wanted some type of commitment and for Nick to fight for us. On the other hand, I know that practically speaking, we're both pursuing our career goals and we are both at a place in our lives where being in a relationship may just not be feasible. I may need to accept that I want more from Nick than he can give.”

  Cassie sat up and crossed her legs under her. “So, I am going to tell you this as your absolute best friend who cares deeply about you. The communication between Nick and you is shit! You have to figure out how to effectively communicate with each other if you are going to make things work. This is especially true for you and Nick if you're going to be living in different cities, hours apart.”

  I groaned and buried my face in the pillow. “I know. I just don't know how. I am afraid I'll say the wrong thing and then it really will be the end.”

  “Jenna. I can tell by the way Nick looks at you that he likes you a whole lot. Mike said Nick was really upset when he came to Pete’s looking for you after the night of no communication. Nick would not have been upset if he didn’t care about you. The guy took you on a picnic and kissed you on the freaking Jumbotron in front of a whole stadium of people.” Cassie was trying to cheer me up, but all of that added up to the Nick before our conversation about the future.

  “True...” I really wanted to believe Nick cared as much for me as I did for him but there was a part of me that was holding back. I was too afraid of having my heart broken to fully turn it over to Nick. Having Brett break up with me was bad enough. What I felt for Nick was so much stronger than what I had ever felt for that loser.

  Cassie either didn’t notice, or didn’t care, that I had zoned out because she just kept on going, listing all the ways Nick had shown me he cared. “He bought you your favorite flowers when he screwed up and sat out
side your apartment waiting for you. He ordered pizza every night for a week to try and see you again before he even knew your name. Guys that don’t care don’t do those types of things.”

  “Then why can’t he tell me he cares about me?” The frustration I felt was clear in my tone.

  “Have you told him how you really feel?”

  “Not really... okay, no.” I realized I had been a hypocrite for being irritated at Nick. He hadn’t told me how he felt, but I was doing the exact same thing.

  Cassie threw her hands up in the air. “See? Shit communication!”

  I sighed. I knew she was right. My conversation with Cassie was just adding to the massive jumble of confusion I already felt when it came to Nick. Meeting Nick was totally unexpected and the events of late had my head spinning.

  “You have got to tell him how you feel,” Cassie said earnestly.

  “What if I don’t know how I feel?”

  “I think you do, Jenna. You're just scared to put it out there. You're too focused on the negative that you assume will happen and not the positive that should happen.”

  I threw a pillow at Cassie. “I hate it that you are so right about things all the time.”

  Cassie laughed as she effortlessly caught the pillow. “Get used to it babe, because I am pretty much right all of the time. The sooner you accept that, the better it will be for all of us. Now, let's get you out of this,” Cassie wrinkled her nose as she waved her hand over the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing, “and into something more fitting for a going away party.”

  “Do I have a choice?” I joked.

  “Nope. It's part of being my bestie that I get to dress you up like a real-life Barbie doll. Now get a move on because I'm going to be doing your hair and make-up, too. You have to look extra hot to tell panty-melter Nick how you feel about him tonight.”