Across the Deep

by Lisa McGuinness

  “Did the police bring her in?”

  “Yes, eventually. She had been evading the cops because Nick, the guy who pimped her out, had her conveniently terrified of getting put in the system—as if that would be worse than what she was going through, right? And she was hard-core addicted to pills by then. Percocet mainly.”

  Simone closed her eyes, seeing Claire as she had been then. “She was placed with us by a judge for her protection,” she told Chai. “The man she had been living with—who had been her mother’s boyfriend before she died—had been using her to get clients for his job, according to Claire. I’m not sure exactly what kind of job would require sex with girls, but that’s what she understood.”

  Chai pressed his palms into his eyes and shook his head wearily. “How long ago was that?”

  “She’s been with us more than a year now. For a while, I thought she was going to be one of the ones who could never get past it—the accumulation of losses took a toll on her. Some girls are so emotionally damaged that they never really recover. And the addiction to the pills is so strong. But Claire has something. A resilience. And she’s incredibly smart. Freakishly so. I kind of wonder if she’s got a genius IQ. She comes up with stuff I can’t imagine she’s been able to learn, given her life and age. It’s nuts. We’ll get her going back to school one of these days.”

  A memory of Claire popped into Simone’s mind, and she smiled, thinking about it, then recounted it to Chai. “One day, not long after Claire came to Hope House, I was sitting at the table in the kitchen attempting to do a New York Times crossword puzzle. I was stuck, because I’m pretty bad at them, but have delusions that I’ll get better with practice. Anyway, Claire came in, looked over my shoulder, and after about thirty seconds, she sighed loudly, said, ‘Really Simone,’ pointed to a line of boxes in the puzzle, and named the word I needed. She said, ‘Maybe you should try the People magazine crossword instead,’ and walked away.”

  Chai laughed.

  “I know; right? She was such a smart aleck, but I filled in the word she suggested, and not only did it fit, it was the key to the rest of the crossword.”

  “How old is she? Claire’s one of those people who could be seventeen or twenty-seven. It’s hard to tell her age because she has a face that’s seen too much, and it shows.”

  “Yes, I hate seeing the world wariness around her beautiful eyes. She’s nineteen but seems older.”

  “How’d she get picked up?” Chai asked after a moment of quiet.

  “A hotel clerk, thank God. Someone who saw something that was not okay and did something about it. She called the antitrafficking hotline, and they got in touch with local authorities. They sent a police car and picked Claire up kicking and screaming. She was terrified Nick would think she was going willingly and punish her for it . If the antitrafficking task force hadn’t known better, they would have sworn she loved the life and that they were taking her out of paradise. Fortunately, the group is versed in handling that specific type of trauma.”

  “I’m sure they could tell right away what was happening.”

  “Oh, definitely.”

  “Sometimes it feels so bleak, as if nothing will ever change.”

  “All we can do is what we can do.”

  “I just wish it was more.”

  “She needed medical attention so badly, too. She had serious infections. Having sex must have been excruciating on top of everything else. She probably won’t be able to have children.”

  “How does anyone recover from that?”

  “Rehab, a lot of prayer, a lot of healing, a lot of therapy, and time,” Simone responded. “Grace is a great example for the girls, too. They see from her that they don’t have to own the shame. That what happened wasn’t their fault and that they are survivors. Survivors, rather than victims. Survivors have power.” Simone pumped her fist the way Grace always did when she said the word, survivor. She had ingrained it in all of them.

  “Did the man who was pimping Claire get arrested?”

  “Nope, he slipped away before they could get him. Claire is always looking over her shoulder because of it. We keep her close to Hope House and far away from her old neighborhood. As much as she complains about getting up early to bake bread, I know she’s appreciative of being with us and safe.”

  “I’m sure. You’ve created an incredible place.”

  “I’m lucky I can do it. It was touch-and-go at the beginning, but getting a grant helped us get on our feet.”

  “Thank God for people who are willing to share money.”

  “No kidding.”

  Simone sighed as a vision of Suda invaded her thoughts.

  “I can’t stand not knowing what’s happening out there.”

  “Me, too,” Chai said, and the two fell silent as they contemplated.

  Claire and Suda

  How long ago had Aanwat left? Suda wondered but wasn’t sure. Since then, the shadows had crossed the room, and the light had grown dim.

  Her hands and feet had finally become numb, which frightened her, but it was at least a reprieve from the excruciating pins and needles she had been feeling before she completely lost feeling. She had scooted herself close to Claire, so the two were touching for comfort. Her mind had been spinning for what seemed like hours while she lay there. Did Aanwat really have Simone? Where? Was she here in the hotel in a different room? Where else could he possibly have her? Had he hurt her? Her mind wouldn’t still. She was gripped with fury and fear.

  At some point, Suda realized that Claire had been slipping in and out of consciousness. She wasn’t sure what to do. Should she try to keep her awake or allow her the temporary relief that sleep brought? She decided on the latter for now. The blood from her wounded leg had dried to a crusty dark burgundy, which Suda imagined was a good sign. The size of the stain was no longer expanding fresh vivid and red.

  Lying there, gagged, a sadness had settled into Claire. She had endured so much already, but this somehow felt different. She had people again. Simone, Grace, and Suda had become important to her.

  I won’t lose them. I won’t lose them. Her mind wouldn’t stop repeating the phrase, like a record skipping, and it both annoyed her and gave her strength. She didn’t want to care about anyone, but there it was. It had happened in spite of her best efforts, so she might as well make damn sure she didn’t, in fact, lose them.

  She hadn’t realized she’d drifted off but jerked awake when the door opened and Aanwat slunk back in. She caught a glimpse outside and noticed the sun was down and evening had come. What time was it? How long had she slept? She writhed against the ropes and tried to talk through the cloth that was shoved in her mouth.

  “Stop,” Aanwat told Claire. “And shut up, or I will leave you like that.”

  Claire complied and went still and silent. She closed her eyes seething, but she knew she had to get him to trust that she would behave. She needed to be untied or she wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything. And, aside from everything else, she desperately needed to use the bathroom. And, if she could get him to let her go in there alone, she would be able to find something to use as a weapon, she was sure of it. He had found her knife, when he had tied her up, which had almost broken her spirit, but then her mind clicked into overdrive searching for possible weapons that could be created from the objects in the room. A pencil would be ideal, but in her furtive search, her eyes hadn’t found either a pencil or pen. Maybe a nail file? Don’t some hotels have little kits with stuff patrons need? Not that this place was of that caliber, but her mind was searching for any possibility.

  Sleeping a bit seemed to have helped. She felt more clear and able to think about getting out of the situation.

  Aanwat stood over the bed, his brown expressionless eyes assessing them.

  “I took care of Tea,” Aanwat told Suda, “so don’t think he is going to help you.”

&
nbsp; Claire felt Suda’s body stiffen next to her. What had Aanwat said to cause that? Claire looked between them to try to understand and saw anger flash in Suda’s eyes. If only she could understand their language.

  He reached over to take the cloth out of Suda’s mouth.

  “Scream, and it will go right back in,” he said, and she nodded.

  “What did you do to them? Where is Simone? And what happened to Tea?” Suda decided to use the name Aanwat used for Chai, hoping that the fact that he was a police officer was still unknown.

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does matter to me.”

  “What will you do to keep them safe? Will you leave with me?”

  “Yes,” Suda said. “Just leave them alone.” She couldn’t bear the thought of Simone or Chai coming to harm after they had done so much for her.

  “It’s a deal then,” he told her and smiled a boyish smile of delight. He had gotten his way.

  “And you can’t hurt Claire,” Suda added.

  Claire perked up when she heard her name among the rest of the Thai words being spoken. What had Suda said? She couldn’t stand not knowing.

  “I have no intention of hurting any of them, Suda. As long as you come with me. I’m not a bad person. You know that. I only want what’s best for us.”

  “Where are they? What have you done with them?”

  He smiled at his own cleverness.

  “I locked them in a shipping container … just like the one you were in. By the time they’re found, we’ll be long gone.”

  “A shipping container? On a boat? Like me? Where are they going?” Her voice filled with panic, and Claire again hated the fact that she had no idea what was being said.

  “They aren’t going anywhere. It was empty. Down at the dock. Smart, huh?”

  “Who have you become, Aanwat? You’re not the boy I knew in Thailand.”

  “I had to grow up. Kill or be killed; right? That’s what they say here.”

  “Take the cloth from Claire’s mouth, okay? I promise I won’t cause a problem.”

  “As long as she keeps quiet,” he said and then reached for Claire’s gag.

  As soon as it was off, Claire inhaled deeply, savoring a deep breath of air. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she said.

  “Fine,” Aanwat said and untied her ankles. “But these stay on,” he told her, indicating the ropes around her wrist.

  “That’s ridiculous,” Claire said. “Where am I going to go? I can barely walk.”

  “They stay on.”

  “Fine,” Claire told him, desperate to get to the bathroom and to find something—anything—to use as a weapon.

  “Where will you take me?” Suda asked after Claire limped into the bathroom and closed the door.

  “How about Los Angeles?” Aanwat asked. “No one will find us there. We can get work. We’ll get lost in the crowd.”

  “I will never go with men again. I’ll kill us both before doing that.”

  “I won’t ask you to,” he told her, taking her hands. He began to unbind her feet, to free her, and then he paused, adding, “Unless it’s an emergency.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, and she knew, beyond any doubt, that he would sell her again. More men, more pain, more shame. It already was an emergency. She looked away; said nothing. She would let him think she was happy to go with him and then escape. She would make him believe in her so he would let Simone, Chai, and Claire go. Then, once she had a chance, she would sneak away and call for help. Simone had made her memorize all of their phone numbers, and she had been reciting them over and over like a mantra while she lay there, waiting for whatever was going to happen. She would call them, and they would get her. She was sure of it.

  She needed to communicate her plan to Claire, but how?

  Just then, Claire opened the bathroom door and met Suda’s eyes. Claire had a look of determination on her face, and it worried Suda. What was she up to now?

  Suda held her eyes and subtly shook her head. She tried to tell her not to try anything. That she would take care of them both.

  “I go,” Suda told Claire in her minimal English and held out her hands to Aanwat to unbind them.

  “No,” Claire said emphatically.

  “Stop talking,” Aanwat told them, left Suda’s side, and walked toward Claire with the cloth he’d used to gag her in his hand. He would shove it back in her mouth and leave her there when they left. The motel cleaning people would find her soon enough, he assumed. By then, she wouldn’t be his problem.

  Claire stared at him with abject hatred, and when he was within reach, she lifted her still-bound hands and screamed as she lunged at his face with the tail end of the toothbrush she’d found in the bathroom. He looked at her in horror, and then he yelled and hit her hands away just as she was about to make contact with his face. He grabbed her and tried to wrestle the toothbrush out of Claire’s hands, but she was not going to give up her makeshift weapon without a fight. She grasped it as tightly as she could.

  “Let go!” he said through clenched teeth and dug his nails into the skin of her hand while trying to pry the toothbrush from her grasp. She could feel her resistance weakening and tried to hang on with all of her might. Aanwat took hold of her wrists where they were bound and banged her lower arms and hands repeatedly against the doorframe, splitting the skin covering Claire’s knuckles, but she refused to drop the toothbrush. Adrenaline coursed through her, and she was hardly aware of the pain in either her leg or hands at that moment.

  “Stop!” Suda yelled at Aanwat. She tried to pry him off of Claire, but he shoved her away. She ricocheted off the edge of the bed onto the floor but got up immediately and tried to jump on his back, just as he landed a punch on Claire’s face. Blood sprayed from her nose, and she screamed in pain and dropped the toothbrush. Suda also screamed when she saw Claire’s face and jumped again onto Aanwat’s back. She managed to get her bound hands looped over his head, and she yanked back with all her might to try to choke him. He turned, trying to pry her off, then in desperation threw himself and Suda against the wall.

  Focused on getting Suda off of him, Aanwat didn’t see Claire grasp the toothbrush again until she was upon him, arms back, hands over one shoulder, wielding the toothbrush like a sharp stick. And then she lunged.

  The sickeningly soft, excruciating feeling of the toothbrush being thrust into his eye socket caused Aanwat to let go of Suda and cover his eye. Blood squirted from the entry point and splashed down his cheek. He held his hands in front of his face and screamed at Claire in Thai. Suda’s arms were still looped over his head, and the two of them fell to the floor.

  Claire shuffled to Suda and tried to untie the ropes around her wrists while Aanwat writhed. Claire’s hands shook as she worked the knot, but finally it released. She pulled Suda to her feet.

  There was a loud banging against the wall from the adjoining room. “Shut up!” someone yelled. Aanwat continued screaming in pain.

  “Come on!” Claire pulled Suda out the door and started yelling for the police as soon as the door opened to the parking lot.

  The slight, sweater-vest-wearing, aged clerk was out the office door and coming toward them to see what going on. Taking in Claire’s bleeding face, blood-soaked, torn jeans, and split knuckles, as well as the loosened ropes still around both her and Suda’s wrists, he immediately lifted his phone and dialed 911.

  “What happened?” he yelled to them, waving them over and ushering them into the office while relaying the location to the police dispatcher.

  “We were kidnapped,” Claire said. “He was after her,” she pointed to Suda, “but I stabbed him in the eye with a toothbrush. You better tell them to send an ambulance, too.”

  “Oh, my God!” he said and then relayed it to the 911 operator. They could already hear sirens coming. “Is he in t
he room?”

  “Yes.”

  “Chai, Simone!” Suda said emphatically. And then repeated it. Claire looked at her and tried to understand what she meant. “He got! Aanwat got!”

  And then Claire understood what they had been saying in the room before she went to the bathroom and her blood turned cold. He had Simone and Chai. But where? Had he hurt them?

  “I think he has two of our friends, too,” Claire relayed. “And one is a police officer.”

  One police car, followed by a second tore into the parking lot, sirens and lights on. Claire ran out of the office, waving her still-tied hands at them.

  “He’s in there,” she yelled. “Room 5! He has a gun!”

  Guests peered out the windows, curious and shocked at what was unfolding, and onlookers stopped on the sidewalk and crouched behind cars, peeking out when curiosity overtook common sense. Two officers moved to the sides of the door, while a third used the megaphone to advise everyone staying in the motel to remain indoors.

  Between the sirens and the speaker, the sense of chaos was surreal. A fourth officer tried to lead Claire back inside the office, but she wasn’t having it. She was determined to stay and watch Aanwat be taken out of the room.

  “I stabbed him in the eye,” she told the officer, “and then we ran.”

  “You were brilliant,” he told her. “Brave, quick thinking.”

  “I wasn’t going to let him take her,” she told him. No stopping the flow of words. “There was no way.” Claire was amped up and filled with adrenalin as the officer untied her wrists and then finished the job Claire had begun of untying Suda’s ropes as well.