Regret (Never Waste a Second Chance Book 2)

by Janice M. Whiteaker

  But there were a million reasons he couldn’t do that, even now that she might want him to, and he decided to focus on one of the less embarrassing ones.

  Nancy had been through a lot in the past few months. Horrible, awful things had happened and it would be wrong of him to capitalize on her fragile state. A good man didn’t take advantage of a woman who was hurting. A woman in pain. And he was going to be a good man to her. She deserved that.

  “I…” He made the mistake of looking up. Nancy’s eyes were shimmering and pink at the edges, breaking his heart and blurring his judgment. “I don’t trust myself around you.”

  Those were not the words he intended to say and he regretted them immediately.

  She blinked a few times. “I don’t understand.”

  He should never have come here. He was only making things worse. This was a perfect example of why he tried to stay away from her. He couldn’t lie to her and he didn’t want to tell the truth, but he was running out of options. Quickly.

  They loved the same people and wanted them in their lives. That meant he had to come up with a solution that would preserve his sanity. No matter what she said or what he hoped she was thinking, he had to do what was best. For them both.

  “Nan, it is what it is.” He had to reach deep for the next words, knowing they would be sealing his fate. “Maybe we can find a way to at least be friends.

  He stood up. It was done and it was time to leave. Quickly, before his mouth kept running.

  Unfortunately, Nancy was not as done with their conversation as he was. She immediately stepped into his path, blocking him and resting her hand in the middle of his chest.

  He sucked in his breath and looked up at the ceiling, trying to focus on anything but her nearness.

  “Paul.”

  He held his breath as he worked up the gumption to step away from her touch. He knew he had to move but it felt impossible, as if there was a magnetic pull with the strength of an ox emitting from her palm.

  He sucked in a breath and lowered his gaze to find her smiling up at him.

  “I would love to be friends with someone like you.” She stepped forward and before he had a chance to realize what was happening, wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body tightly against his in a hug.

  But not a friendly hug.

  Friendly hugs were ass out, faces turned away with back patting. This was about as far from that as you could get.

  He could feel every inch of her against him. Arms, chest, belly, legs. All of it. Then she pulled closer and demolished any remaining willpower he had. His arms went around her waist, his palms flattened on her back

  He tucked his head closer to hers, feeling the strands of her hair snag in his beard. She fit against him perfectly. He felt like a giant around most women, but Nancy was tall. Probably close to five ten which made the top of her head fall just above his chin and let her face tuck perfectly into the crook of his neck.

  He could hear the blood in his veins as it picked up speed. The feel of her soft breath against the sensitive skin of his neck made his heart rate spike.

  He wanted to hold her like this forever, but he couldn’t.

  He gently stepped out of her embrace, but only barely, not wanting to give up the closeness just yet.

  “I need to go.”

  Nancy nodded, rubbing her lips together, drawing his attention to her mouth. “You said you don’t hate me, but…” She looked up at him, the lips he watched so closely mere inches away from his. “Do you think you will ever be able to forgive me?”

  “I forgave you a long time ago.”

  After the sting of her rejection wore off, he realized he couldn’t blame her. Sam was the guy every girl wanted. He was the good looking captain of the football team, his folks were well off and he was one hell of a charmer. Not many women turned him down, even after he was married.

  She chewed her lip.

  How long had it been since she’d been kissed? How long had it been since-

  He grabbed the door handle behind his back and yanked it open to escape onto the porch. As he backed toward the steps, Nancy appeared in the doorway.

  “Maybe I’ll see you soon?”

  Oh God he hoped not.

  EIGHT

  “Nana! I pooped.”

  Liza had been in the bathroom for ten minutes while she was trying to turn over the laundry. If the three-year-old wasn’t spending the time pooping there would have been a problem. A watery, soapy, messy problem.

  Like last week. If there was one requirement for watching Beth’s youngest, it was surveillance. Lots of it.

  “I’m coming honey.” Nancy set the cycle on the washer and pushed start before grabbing the basket of clean clothes she’d just tumbled out of the dryer to head through the kitchen and across the front of the house to the half-bath where Liza was sitting on the pot, her little legs dangling, reading the Farmer’s Almanac she found on the sink.

  Nancy laughed as she set the basket beside the door and folded a few squares of toilet paper. “You feel better?”

  “Oh yes. Now I have room for lunch.” The little girl jumped off the toilet and climbed onto the stool at the sink. “I didn’t touch my butt, but I’ll wash my hands anyways.”

  Nancy pumped lavender scented soap onto their hands and scrubbed them together, rubbing each little fingertip then rinsing them off. She grabbed the hand towel off the hook and struggled to dry Liza’s hands as she took off into the living room, launching herself onto the couch to finish watching the cartoon flashing across the screen.

  If there was one good thing to come of the past few months of sadness, it was finally being a part of Liza and Kate’s lives. Nancy always assumed Beth simply preferred to be with her parents. It hurt a little, but she could understand Beth not really considering her the girls’ grandmother. Technically, she was their aunt. Great aunt at that.

  It was only after Rich died that Nancy found out the real reason Beth avoided her and it broke her heart.

  Maybe if she’d known their marriage was troubled from the beginning she could have helped. All those years Beth needed someone and was too worried about Nancy taking Rich’s side to ask.

  But now Nancy had the chance to be there for her. Beth needed her now more than ever and to be honest, Nancy needed her too. She’d lost Rich in more ways than one. Getting to spend time with his girls helped her remember the good in him, reassured her it really was there at some point.

  She picked up the basket and headed upstairs. “Nana will be right back and then it will be time to go get your sister.”

  “I can stay here and watch this.”

  Nancy sighed and bent down to peek through the top rail. “We can pause your show and you can watch it later.”

  Liza’s eyes were glued to the television and she was fully engrossed in whatever princess was prancing around the screen. Nancy sighed and headed the rest of the way up the stairs.

  She was keeping the girls three days a week and quickly discovering while girls were a bit different, kids were mostly all the same. They all touched their butts and lied about it then ignored you when the TV was on.

  Occasionally though, they surprised you. Like the day Liza figured out how to open the gun cabinet.

  Nancy quickly put away the clothes and stacked the basket with the others she kept in the spare bedroom. Her laundry had doubled since she’d been babysitting. Mostly towels and shirts. It never failed. If there was anything on either of the little mess makers, inevitably, it ended up on her.

  It was wonderful.

  She checked her watch as she headed back down the stairs. They had ten minutes to get on the road. Kate was in morning kindergarten which meant she and Beth could go in together in the morning and Nancy just had to pick her up right before lunch. Then they got to spend a few hours together before Beth was finished with her third grade class and came to get the girls.

  Many nights she even stayed for dinner.

  “Come on Li. We need to
get your shoes on.” She grabbed the white Mary Jane’s off the end table.

  “I don’t wanna go. I’m big now. I can stay here while you go.” She tucked her feet under her butt. “Daddy let me and Kate stay home when he went to the store cause he was thirsty.”

  Nancy’s stomach dropped. She took a deep breath and tried to push the statement to the back of her mind. She could be upset about it later.

  It didn’t matter anymore anyway.

  “Well, I would be lonely without you.” She gave Liza a sad look. It wasn’t too hard to do, considering.

  The little girl sighed dramatically and stretched her legs out so Nancy could slip on her shoes.

  Liza sang loudly in the backseat as they drove into town toward the elementary school. These three days a week were turning out to be some of her favorite times, ever.

  Looking back, she’d never been able to enjoy Thomas and Rich like this. There was so much else going on around them making life difficult and frustrating and sad. Very, very sad.

  Some of it she wouldn’t change, even if she could. Other things, like Rich’s mom taking off, were a different story. Maybe if Carol stayed, Rich would have been different. Maybe he would still be here and be happy and healthy.

  Nancy blinked hard as she pulled into the school pick-up line. She tried her best to only be happy around the girls. They didn’t need any more sadness in their life.

  By the time she was at the front of the line, the lump in her throat was almost gone. Seeing Kate’s face light up when she saw her, made it disappear completely.

  The little girl yanked the door open and climbed into her booster seat beside her sister. “Nana I am so hungry.” She clicked her belt into place. “Do we have to drive all the way back to your house for lunch?”

  “Hmmmm.” Nancy pulled away from the curb, looking carefully for any rogue kindergarteners straying from the sidewalk. “What are you thinking?”

  “I would really like a hamburger.” Kate swiped at her forehead, trying to push a few loose hairs clinging to her skin. Her cheeks were flushed from running around during recess and bouncing in line for pick-up.

  “I want French fries.” Liza flapped her feet up and down in her car seat. “I’m so hungry too.”

  French fries did sound pretty good. Mina was pretty close to town and the diner was her favorite…

  Nancy grabbed her phone while they were stopped at the light waiting to pull out of the school lot. Mina picked up on the first ring.

  “Hey. How’s it going?”

  “Good. Want to grab lunch at the diner?” Nancy glanced in the mirror at the girls who were poking each other and giggling.

  “Yes. Yes I do. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  Nancy was already parking when they hung up. She looked in the rearview mirror. “You ladies hungry?”

  “Yes!”

  Kate had her belt off and was trying to help Liza with hers by the time Nancy was out of the car and opening the back door. She undid the car seat harness and hoisted Liza out before grabbing Kate’s hand. She used her hip to close the door and they crossed the lot to the diner.

  They were just barely situated in the booth when Mina slid in beside Kate. The little girl grinned at her. “I wanted to sit by you.”

  Mina dropped her purse on the seat beside her. “Thank goodness, because I wanted to sit by you too.” She wrapped her arm around Kate’s shoulders and leaned into a hug. Kate scrunched up her nose and wriggled away.

  “You’re cold.”

  Mina groaned. “That house is going to make me crazy.” She looked pointedly at Nancy. “Unless Paul manages it first.”

  Nancy couldn’t help herself. “He does have a way of doing that doesn’t he?”

  Mina pursed her lips but not before Nancy saw her mouth start to tug into a smile. The younger woman picked up a menu and held it up, blocking Nancy’s view of her face. “Are we ever gonna talk about that?”

  Now it was Nancy’s turn to groan. “Maybe. But not today. You could say I’m feeling the same as you.”

  Mina dropped her menu, her facial expressions obviously back in check. “Fair enough. Let’s eat French fries then. That fixes everything.”

  Liza bounced in the seat beside Nancy. “Milkshakes too.”

  By the time they finished lunch and Mina was on her way back to the house to work, the afternoon was well underway. It didn’t make sense to drive back out to Nancy’s house so she and the girls headed to the library where they got Kate signed up for her own library card. The girls ran up and down the aisles collecting books until they each had a stack to borrow.

  Nancy texted Beth before they left, letting her know she would drop the girls off to her at the school since they were already in town.

  “Where are we going now?” Kate was craning her neck to look out the window.

  “I was thinking of picking up a special treat for you and your mommy to have after dinner tonight. Does that sound good?” Nancy turned into the bakery. Maybe a cupcake would tempt Beth. She’d lost so much weight. She’d had a little cushion to spare, but it was more than gone now.

  Kate sat quietly in the back seat. Not the reaction she was expecting to get when cake was involved.

  “What’s wrong sweetheart? Are you tired?” Nothing like a full belly and a fun day to poop a kid out.

  “My mommy’s sad a lot.”

  Nancy swallowed hard and took a long slow breath before she was ready to face the girls in the back seat. She turned in her seat. Four big eyes were glued to her face, waiting.

  “Do you get sad sometimes?”

  Both girls nodded.

  “Mommies get sad too.” She waited, giving them time to process. This was difficult to understand, even for some adults.

  “Can we make her be happy again?” Kate’s chin had the smallest quiver as she spoke.

  “She will be happy again. I promise. But it’s not your job to make your mommy happy.” She reached back to squeeze Kate’s leg. “Just getting to be your mommy makes her happy.”

  Kate’s mouth twisted into a smile. “That’s what she says.”

  “Because it’s the truth.” Nancy took a deep breath trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. “Now, let’s go get some cupcakes.”

  “I want cupcakes! They make me happy.” Liza clapped as Nancy wrestled her wiggling body out of her car seat.

  Hopefully cupcakes could make them all feel a little happier.

  ****

  Paul skimmed his scraper down the drywall doing his best not to let his mind wander, keeping it safely busy working out the schedule he would have to stick to in order to finish this house on time. Unfortunately they might hit a roadblock if he couldn’t figure out what in the hell was going on with the furnace.

  He was so forcefully engrossed in his planning that the opening of the front door startled him, making him jump and resulting in a divot in the smooth line of mud he was scraping down the drywall seam.

  Blowing out a frustrated breath he straightened, moving his neck from side to side, as he walked to the corner of the bedroom. He wasn’t a twenty-year-old kid anymore and his body was showing it. In more ways than one.

  He raked the dusty chunks stuck to the corner of his trowel into the trash bucket then loaded a fresh dose of the pasty compound and started from the top again. He was halfway down the seam before Mina wandered into the room.

  “How was your lunch?”

  Mina stepped into his line of vision, her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “Decent. Yours?”

  He finished the line and moved to the next. “Didn’t take one. I want to get this room mudded before the furnace decides to completely quit.”

  “Do you want me to start mudding the other bedroom?”

  Paul stepped back and surveyed the room. “I don’t think it’s worth the risk. I only have a little left to do here.” He scraped his mud into a pile on the tray. “If I’d known the furnace was going to give us fits, I would have held off on this room too.�
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  At this point the best he could do was hope he could keep it warm enough to keep the compound from cracking until the new unit they ordered came in.

  Mina stood in the corner watching him quietly. She had something on her mind and it wasn’t hard to guess what it was. He kept working, pretending not to notice. Hopefully she would decide it wasn’t any of her business and go enjoy the rest of her day.

  “I had lunch with Nancy today.” She wandered across the room to grab the broom sitting in the corner. A pointless move considering all the drywall dust that would be covering the house in a couple days.

  “That’s what I figured.” He kept moving. The faster he finished, the sooner he would be away from the second woman causing him grief.

  Mina blew out a sigh. “I don’t understand.”

  “Nothing to understand.” He started the last seam. The end was in sight, but he got impatient and heavy-handed. He scraped the excess off his scraper and smoothed down the line again.

  Mina stood right beside him, the broom still in her hand even though she hadn’t touched it to the floor since she grabbed it. “You act like you don’t give a shit when I know that’s not true.”

  Paul tipped his head back to look at the ceiling. When he found out Mina and Nancy were friends he worried it would be like a carrot on a stick tempting him every day, but always out of his reach.

  He could only be so lucky.

  He set his tools down on the lid of an unopened five gallon bucket and made sure the lid of the bucket he was using was in place before using his boot to stomp it closed. “It doesn’t matter how I feel.”

  Mina rolled her eyes. “Of course it does.”

  Paul grabbed his tools and stepped around her. “I don’t want to have this conversation with you.”

  Mina followed behind him as he stalked down the hall toward the kitchen and the only working sink in the house. “Then have it with her.”