Regret (Never Waste a Second Chance Book 2)

by Janice M. Whiteaker

  By the time they pulled back into his driveway, the oddity of having Nancy in his truck was wearing off. He no longer noticed her scent floating around him. Unfortunately, her presence in his life was gaining some normalcy and that could be a very dangerous thing for him.

  He jumped out of the truck, needing to put some distance back between them. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

  But Paul had no intention of seeing her later, or any time after that. Only a fool would let himself fall into the pit in front of him. Especially one who’d been there before.

  “Wait.” She ran up behind him, stopping too close. “I need to give you your coat.”

  He backed up, turning away. “It’s still cold. I’ll get it later.” He didn’t pause again until he opened the screen door and shoved his key in the lock. The door opened and he was greeting with the familiar smell of home.

  And Nancy’s lingering perfume.

  “Shit.” He threw his keys on the entry table and unzipped his coat. The doorbell rang, the soft chiming echoing through the house.

  If her damn car wouldn’t start he was going to lose it. He pulled the door open and once again it was Nancy standing on his porch, an apologetic smile on her face. “I left my phone on the counter.”

  He let her in and shut the door behind her. She went to the kitchen and returned, phone in hand, stopping in the still dark entry less than two feet away. He wanted to back up, but running from this problem wasn’t doing him any good so his feet stayed planted, holding their ground.

  Nancy took a step forward making him immediately regret his decision to stay put. Before he had the chance to decide whether or not to retreat, Nancy’s body was pressed against his, along with her lips. His lungs seized as his brain struggled with the realization of what was happening.

  His mind was racing in time with his pulse. Her hands traveled up his chest and her fingers trailed along his neck before forking into his hair.

  He knew he should stop her. Send her home where she belonged before he didn’t want to give himself that option.

  But it was already too late.

  Her lips were so soft against his as her breath tickled the hair covering his cheek. She leaned in pulling him closer and making him forget everything that was important.

  He wrapped his arms around her back and cradled her head in one hand as he took his first taste of her, sweeping his tongue into her open mouth. She sighed against him and her body seemed to soften, melting against his. He held her tighter as he nipped at the fullness of her lips.

  His hands ran through her hair as he covered her mouth with his, taking control of what she’d started. He tried to memorize the feel of her body against his. Her taste. The smoothness of her lips. Kissing Nancy was a moment he’d dreamed of for as long as he could remember and he wanted to burn as much into his memory as he could get. In case it never happened again.

  It shouldn’t be happening now.

  Realization hit him like a punch in the gut. What was he doing?

  He dropped his arms and tried to step back. She needed to go home. And he needed a kick in the ass.

  Her arms squeezed tighter around his neck and she pulled back to look in his eyes. “No.”

  “No, what?” He tried to take a step back, move away from her gaze, but she stepped with him keeping her body pressed tightly to his.

  She was strong. Stronger than he would have guessed a woman could be before he met Mina and saw firsthand how physically capable she was. Based on the grip she had on him, it looked like Nancy could give Mina a run for her money.

  “Kiss me again.” She brushed her lips gently across his. “I’ve waited so long for this. Please.”

  Her voice was so soft, her breath so sweet against his face. He wrapped her in his arms and did as she asked. He kissed her face, her neck, her lips, her hair. He tasted her soft and silky skin as he ran his lips and his tongue up her neck.

  For the first time in months, he felt drunk. His head was swimming as he took full advantage of her request.

  She met him, kiss for kiss, clinging to him, holding on for dear life. All his reasons for staying away from her, gone. All he had was here and now with the only woman he’d ever really wanted, pressed against him.

  Pulling back, he looked down into the woman holding him like she never wanted to let go.

  Her face was flushed, the skin around her mouth red and irritated from the roughness of the whiskers he’d neglected for the past two weeks. Rubbing one hand over his jaw, a pang of guilt nagged at his gut and it was all over. Reality once again crashed in around him and he loosened the grip his other arm had on her.

  Nancy had to leave before he did something even more stupid like asking her to stay. That was a can of worms he didn’t want to open. Couldn’t open even if he wanted to.

  “Go home Nan.” He opened the door and all but shoved her out.

  If she stayed any longer Nancy would surely notice something wasn’t doing what it should. It hadn’t in a couple years. He’d already lost control of his life and most of his sanity, he at least wanted to keep his pride.

  What was left of it.

  TEN

  Nancy pulled into a shaded spot at the edge of the parking lot. Hopefully if she kept the car out of the sun, the chocolates she picked up for the girls Easter baskets wouldn’t melt before she got back.

  She stepped out into the warm, breezy day. Finally, a beautiful and reasonably warm day. It was desperately needed.

  Closing her eyes, she breathed the spring smell of new green deep into her lungs and tried to relax. Retail therapy with the girls hadn’t helped, although it did result in a pretty pair of sandals and the pedicure required to wear them.

  That hadn’t occurred to her. She bent over and gingerly ran a fingertip across the shiny crimson nail of her big toe. It felt dry so hopefully that meant she wouldn’t end up with bits of crusty leaf matter stuck in her polish. Even if she did, it would be worth it. Nothing helped her in the way hiking did.

  After coming to this park with Thomas, she couldn’t wait to come back. It quickly became her sanctuary. A place to relax and reflect. And boy did she have some reflecting to do, even before she threw herself at Paul.

  Zipping her light jacket against the breeze, a smile tugged at her lips at the memory. She probably shouldn’t be as proud of it as she was, but…

  She couldn’t help it.

  That was why she was here today. To figure out what in the hell to do next. This wasn’t the kind of thing she could discuss with the girls. They wouldn’t understand how Paul had to be handled.

  She still didn’t understand exactly how to handle him. But she was learning.

  By the time she was halfway up the heavily inclined trail, Nancy was breathing heavy but so far her pedicure was intact along with her new shoes. The flats weren’t necessarily meant to be hiking shoes, but it was just too darn pretty to pass the chance up.

  Stepping carefully to avoid any still squishy spots, she picked her way along. So far she’d always stopped at the same field she and Thomas sat in, but today was warm and the sun was so pretty streaming through the still bare tree limbs into the woods, so she decided to keep going.

  This part of the trail was steeper, making her trek a little more challenging. Just as she’d decided to turn back, the path leveled out and fed into a clearing that looked out over the rural area below.

  Nancy walked to the edge and stood, looking out over what must be miles of farms and forests. She didn’t realize just how high the peak here was, it certainly didn’t appear this tall when looking at it from below.

  With no trees around to block it, the sun shined down, sinking into her back, warming her all the way to the core. The breeze blew gently around her, rustling the last of the fall leaves clinging desperately to the few trees rooted in the sharp edge. For the first time in what felt like forever, Nancy felt like everything would be okay. Like she would be okay.

  It was a feeling she didn’t want to end. A
peace deep inside she’d never really known. So she stayed, staring out over the quiet scene below her.

  The strangely familiar scene.

  Nancy looked closer. The dilapidated white barn at the edge of a vast field of turned dirt. The narrow tree line standing between a livestock pond and the edge of a farmhouse yard. It was pretty as a picture. A picture she’d seen before.

  At Paul’s house.

  It never occurred to her the pictures she found so beautiful would be anything other than standard off-the-rack wall décor. It especially didn’t occur to her they could be anything more than a way to fill up wall space.

  But now she realized they were much more than that. They were paintings by someone who lived here. Most likely someone Paul knew. Probably knew well.

  Suddenly she wasn’t so fond of the damn paintings.

  She knew Paul dated over the years. Why wouldn’t he? He was handsome, hard-working, and kind. But for whatever reason, he’d never gotten married. It made her think maybe none of his relationships were that serious. That important.

  But keeping someone’s paintings and hanging them in your home where you can look at them every day? That sounded more than serious.

  That could be love.

  Maybe Paul was acting weird around her because he was actually still in love with someone else.

  Nancy turned away from the now ruined scene and stalked back down the hill, jealousy egging her on. Anger that she was jealous pushing her faster. So fast, that she forgot to be careful and stuck the pristine toe of her new sandal under a lifted tree root mostly obscured by dried vegetation.

  If only the hill wasn’t so steep, she wouldn’t have been moving fast enough to propel her forward. If only she hadn’t been avoiding the soggy spots, she wouldn’t have been so close to the drop off.

  But she was. And over she went, tumbling down the semi-wooded hill, Princess Bride style, screaming the whole way. She rolled for what felt like forever, sticks jabbing at her ribs, leaves tangling in her hair, until finally the drop leveled out and she came to a stop, dizzy and disoriented.

  With no Wesley to save her.

  ****

  Paul was nearly across the field when a scream pierced the peaceful day he was so looking forward to enjoying. It sounded like it came from the woods not far ahead of where he was. That was the good news. The bad news was the heavy rustling that accompanied it.

  Someone fell over the side of the trail.

  He took off running, adrenaline keeping his heavy bag from slowing him down. Staying along the edge, he looked down the heavily sloping drop as he went, keeping his eyes out for any indication of where to look.

  Halfway up the trail he finally saw a figure sprawled about thirty feet down, partially covered with leaves and spewing explicatives.

  “Son-of-a-Goddammed mother—”

  “Nan?” He stopped and watched as she groaned and covered her face with her arms.

  “No.”

  Paul was halfway down the hill when she sat up. By the time he got to her, Nancy was picking clumps of damp leaf matter out of her hair and glaring at him. “I said no.”

  He started laughing. “I heard.” At least her sense of humor was intact. That was a good sign. “You okay?” He set his bag and folding stool and easel on the ground before crouching down beside her.

  She waved him away. “I’m fine. You go back to—” She looked at his discarded painting supplies. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She dropped her head into her hands. “You’re the painter.”

  “Did you hit your head?” She wasn’t making any sense. Without thinking Paul gently tangled his fingers in her hair and slowly felt around for signs of an injury.

  Nancy’s eyes slowly closed and she let out a breath. “Maybe. I’m not sure. You should check really well just in case.”

  She relaxed into his hands as he carefully checked every inch of her skull. It wasn’t until he was almost done that he realized she was fine, but if she was going to give him an excuse to touch her, well then.

  He might as well take it, just this once. It’s not like he wasn’t already in way over his head because of this woman. What’s a little deeper?

  Nancy shifted a little in the pile of debris that rolled down the hill with her. She winced.

  He stopped. “Did I hurt you?” Maybe she was injured. Maybe he was taking advantage of an impaired woman. It would figure.

  “No, my head’s fine.” She pulled away from his touch to shift her right foot up and quickly tucked it under her left knee, her face growing white.

  “What’s wrong?” He looked down where she held her ankle, the rest of her foot hidden under her thigh. “Is your ankle okay?”

  She shifted again and made a face. “I think I twisted it.”

  He held out his hand. “Can I see it?”

  Nancy shook her head eyes wide, face pale.

  He dropped his head to one side in frustration. “Come here and let me see it.”

  Her head shook faster. “Oh I’m sure it’s fine.”

  He sat down. “Come here. We need to look at it and make sure it’s not broken.” He hoped the look on his face made it clear to her he wasn’t going to drop this.

  She sighed. “It’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just a toe.”

  “You said it was your ankle.”

  Nancy dropped her head back, mumbling under her breath. Finally she shoved her injured foot in his direction. “Fine.”

  There, pointing off to one side, hanging over the edge of her sandal, was an already purple pinky toe. Paul gently inspected foot, looking carefully as he softly pressed around the base of her obviously broken toe before moving on to her rapidly swelling ankle.

  “I think I need to lie down.” Nancy’s already white face went completely colorless as she flopped back onto the ground, draping one arm across her face.

  “I’ve gotta put it back in place.”

  She shot up as he gripped her toe between his fingers. Before she could stop him, he pulled hard resetting the toe. Nancy’s body made a soft thud as she dropped back into the leaves.

  Unconscious.

  “Nan.” Paul knelt at her side, cupping her clammy face in one hand and laying the other gently on her shoulder. “Nan!”

  Her eyes flew open and she tried to sit up but he kept the hand on her shoulder firm.

  “You need to lie there for a minute.” He smiled. “I kinda expected you to be tougher than this.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “What in the hell Paul? You could have at least warned me.”

  “I figured you wouldn’t let me do it if I gave you the option.” He started laughing. “I didn’t think you’d pass out on me.”

  She tried to sit up again, this time making it halfway up before her pinking complexion started to grey again.

  “Lie back down before you pass out again.” Paul pushed gently on her shoulders.

  “I didn’t pass out.” She poked a finger in his chest as she pushed against his hands, trying to stay upright. “You tried to rip off my toe and the pain made me… made me…”

  “Pass out.” He pushed harder, managing to get her back down.

  She scoffed. “I had to lie down because it hurt.”

  He laughed. “Okay. Let’s say you laid down quickly without realizing it.”

  “That’s right.” Her look of satisfaction was short lived. “Wait. No!”

  He started laughing harder. She shoved at him hard, tipping him onto the ground beside her. She took the opportunity to get up.

  At least she tried to get up.

  He caught her just before she hit the ground. “Christ. You are just as stubborn as your daughter-in-law.” Having Nancy in his life was turning out to be much more eventful than he ever expected.

  “What? What, what?” Her lids fluttered open. She looked from side to side, moving just her eyes. “Shit.”

  He grinned down at her. “I’ve gotta set you down while I get situated.”

  “What d
o you mean?” She crossed her arms over her chest as he placed her butt on the ground beside the bag he’d dropped earlier.

  He slung it over his shoulder then handed her the light-weight folding easel and stool he used outdoors. “You’re gonna have to hold these.”

  She looked at him, her brow furrowed in confusion as she took the items he gave her. “You don’t think you’re going to--”

  She let out a surprised shriek as he lifted her off the ground, bouncing her body slightly to get the proper distribution. If he was going to attempt to be the kind of man who carried an injured woman out of the woods he sure as hell wasn’t going to risk dropping her because of a bad grip.

  Nancy wrapped her free arm around his neck. “You really don’t have to do this.”

  He raised his eyebrows at her as he picked his way through the flat area that paralleled the path she’d fallen from. “Don’t I?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m sure if I wait just a few minutes my ankle will feel better.”

  Paul glanced down at her rapidly swelling joint. “I disagree.”

  “Well.” Nancy chewed her lip as she looked away from him into the woods. “I feel like an idiot.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t feel like an idiot. That trail is dangerous. I told the city they needed fences on that side years ago.”

  Nancy licked her lips and took a breath. “It’s my fault I fell. I was upset and not paying attention.”

  “You have a lot to be upset about. You’ve had some bad things happen to you.” He pulled her closer, and slowed his pace. Maybe she needed to talk.

  Maybe he could be the one to listen.

  “Oh.” Her voice was quiet. “Yeah.” She took a deep breath. “What about you? What have you been doing for the past thirty years?”

  He was disappointed at her change in the conversation and not because he was hoping to be her sounding board, even though he might have been. Mostly, he hated having to admit the less than stellar way he’d spent his life.