Unforgivable

by Lindsay Delagair

  “We really appreciate all the help,” I said, speaking for both Ryan and myself. “We haven’t gone grocery shopping yet so I can’t offer you guys a drink, but it is Friday night and I hear there is a great bistro a short walk from here. It’s my treat if everyone wants to go.”

  The rest of the night was a blast. We walked in the cool night air to the café and then sat around and laughed and joked until about eleven. Andy and Ty said they would drive Candace home.

  “I had a really good time,” she said just before she got into their car.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. Do you need a ride to work tomorrow?” I asked. “I don’t imagine your alternators been fixed since we’ve tied you up all evening.”

  “Thanks, but no. I’ve got the day off. I’ll get someone to help me with it.”

  “Momma kept me and Ty busy all afternoon or we would have fixed it for you. Tomorrow we go back on twelve hour shifts at the base so it’ll be Wednesday before either one of us gets a spare minute.”

  “What are we doing tomorrow?” Ryan asked.

  “Shopping, of course. We’ve got window treatments to buy, groceries, and-”

  “I have a great idea,” Ryan interrupted. “I’m basically shopped-out, but I am mechanically inclined. Why doesn’t Candace help you shop and you two can leave me up to my elbows in grease and parts.”

  Candace looked at me and smiled, “I’m game.”

  “Sounds good to me, too.”

  We waved goodbye and wearily walked inside and locked the door. I had no thumbtacks, but the second bedroom was windowless and we decided we were both too pooped to be of any trouble for each other tonight so sharing the bed was viable.

  I changed into my shorts and tank, and Ryan slipped into a pair of shorts and we crawled into bed.

  “Leese.”

  “Yeah,” I yawned.

  “I like the house.”

  “Me, too,” I whispered back.

  “Can I hold you? I’m starting to get a thing for sleeping this way.”

  “Would you give me a few minutes to fall asleep? Last night I couldn’t-I mean being awake is harder for me because I know it’s you.”

  “You don’t like knowing it’s me?”

  “The problem is that I do like it, but I just can’t let myself cross that line.”

  He leaned against me and kissed my ear, “Goodnight.”

  It wasn’t long into my dream state when I felt the comfort my tired body craved. It was a very good night.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Micah pulled up to the small office he once regularly visited, but it had been six months since the last time he was here. That was when he accepted a file on a beautiful young woman who was to be his next target. In a matter of weeks, she changed everything he ever knew about himself. He threw everything away for her, only to have her throw away all he offered. It was as if he became the target because she absolutely blew him away.

  The annulment had been finalized. His attorney informed him the judge would not accept the abandonment issue, but he was able to get the annulment by claiming she abandoned Micah because he had forced her into the marriage and put her under duress. Micah didn’t like the sound of any of that. He didn’t force it on her, but his parents insisted he take the steps to annul the marriage so his assets would be safe.

  The problem was he didn’t care about his assets anymore. He already planned what he was going to do with his millions and it would leave him nearly broke, but, in his mind, it was a gamble worth taking.

  He walked inside, nodded at the young woman who sat at the desk and walk to the door behind her. There was no need to be announced. He had been called so he was expected.

  D’Angelo was ready as soon as Micah came through the door.

  Two files were on the table in front of him so Micah expected this would be a double homicide. He took his seat and waited for D’Angelo to speak to him.

  “I’m sorry to hear what happened to you, Micah. Women are far more treacherous than men give them credit. I’d use them for making hits, but I haven’t found one I can trust,” he finished with a little mirth to his voice.

  Micah didn’t respond.

  “I am hoping you plan on returning to what you do best. You aren’t going to bother with this girl anymore-am I right?”

  “I haven’t decided exactly what I’m going to do at this point. I’m still planning on facing her over her…” he paused and took a breath, “decision.”

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, because-”

  “You aren’t me.” Micah knew it was borderline insubordination to speak that way to D’Angelo. He watched the anger flush the man’s skin, but then he seemed to cool.

  “As I was saying, the only thing facing her will do is to put you in jeopardy of killing her and the man she ran away with. That would be a waste of your life, because I doubt you’d do that job neatly.”

  “I won’t kill her. I just need to know why she changed.”

  “Women change their minds like their clothes, Micah. But I didn’t call you here to discuss your foolish waste of time pursuing a tramp.”

  Micah’s eyes flashed with a fire that momentarily worried his commander. That was who D’Angelo was in all reality to Micah. He commanded; Micah obeyed.

  “I want you to rejoin the family…”

  Micah started to speak, but D’Angelo silenced him with a simple movement of his hand as he slid a folder down to him.

  “Take a look.”

  Taking a look was very dangerous in this business. A look at something could create obligations you couldn’t simply turn away from. He steeled himself as he opened the folder. It only took a second for his blood to boil under his skin, “You’d be crazy to think I’d take this assignment.”

  “No, Micah, I wouldn’t ask you to kill David. But someone is going to-if you don’t intervene. I’ve been holding that file for months and the family is starting to get annoyed with my hesitation. I’ve told them he can be trusted. I told them he only did what he did to help you, but we both know actions speak louder than words, especially in this business. I never particularly like David…”

  Micah gave what sounded like a low laugh. It was true. D’Angelo didn’t like someone who didn’t follow orders exactly as given. He also didn’t like having orders questioned. David tended to get under D’Angelo’s skin, and if it hadn’t been for the rest of the family being so valuable, he would have disposed of David a long time ago. Not that David wasn’t an excellent hit man, his methods and accuracy rivaled Micah’s, but he had a stubborn, insubordinate streak that pissed off people in high places.

  “…but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have value. I want you and David to help me with a new member we’re bringing into the family. I think this will go a long way in reinstating his loyalty.”

  “Who’s the target?” Micah knew it would be someone big, if it was going to ‘impress’ the family.

  The second folder slid down the table into Micah’s waiting grip. He opened the folder and the picture that met his gaze was of a middle-aged Hispanic man. He was ready to scan quickly over the document, but the first thing he noted about the man stopped him. He was a diplomat to the U.S. from Bogota.

  “Government leaders aren’t usually our concern.”

  “No, but this one has crushed the supply of a certain product provided by a group willing to be an exclusive supplier to us at a very tempting price.”

  “Drugs, D’Angelo? My personal family has stayed out of the drug market. You know how my parents have felt about it since the influx from the seventies.”

  “True, but this new supplier will add billions to our revenue and open a whole new venue in our family. We’re getting stale, Micah. Other families are edging into our territory and they are out pacing us. We either make a move and re-dominate, or we fade.” D’Angelo leaned forward as his eyes narrowed, “I’m not going to let that happen.”

  “So this job is as much for you as it is for David. You have a
personal interest in seeing this group come in through Louisiana and no one has catered to your personal interests quite as well as me.” Micah had done things to help D’Angelo stay in a position of power that even his own family didn’t know about. One of them had left a scar on his shoulder.

  “I like having a man I can count on. I can count on you, Micah. That’s why I was against you leaving the family to chase after that spoiled little girl.”

  You could almost hear the growl rising from Micah’s chest. He knew one person had been in stubborn opposition to him leaving the family and it almost cost him his chance to be with her. Now he knew who that one person had been. As rough as it had been to watch her run from him, there was something about the experience he would never be able to regret for having gone through it.

  “Of course you can forget about today, you’re not under any obligation by mob rules to do anything I ask of you. But I am obligated to do something about your brother.”

  “I’ll do what you need done, but only if I have your word the contract on David is never executed. And he can’t know that’s why I’m doing this hit.”

  “You’re both going to have to do this hit. It’s probably the most complicated you’ve ever tackled and he is the only one who has enough brains to help you do it. The two of you went out of this family at the same time and it’s going to take both of you coming back in to make this work. The price is right for the job. The supplier is willing to pay ten million U.S. to reopen their business routes.”

  D’Angelo rose and stretched out his hand toward Micah, “Do we have an agreement? You save your brother’s ass, we get a new influx of revenue, and I own you again. There will be more personal business to attend to when this is done and you’re the only person who can handle my most delicate situations.”

  Micah looked at D’Angelo as he stood up, dwarfing the man who had a propensity for impious scheming and self-promotion within the ranks of their orderly society. This would slow down his own plans he already put into motion, but if his plans failed, well the money from this job would keep him in the lifestyle he had grown so very accustom to over the years. He shook his hand, picked up the folder, and walked away.

  Chapter Fourteen

  It had been three weeks since we had moved to Colorado Springs and things were going remarkably well. There was no evidence that Micah had discovered our location, and our home had become a safe haven to enjoy with our friends and each other. Candace became a regular visitor and Ryan started teasing me, privately, that he should take us both to Utah and become a polygamist.

  I politely declined, but I was glad he was starting to think of Candace in that way. I had a feeling there would come a place in our near future where Ryan and I would part ways and she would become the significant person in his life. All the signs were there; they teased each other relentlessly, and the last few days they had begun to touch each other, not in a sexual way, but little things like watching her reach over and touch his arm when she would say something to him, or slug his shoulder if she didn’t like something he said. Sometimes he would reach over and squeeze her shoulder or grab the back of her neck like he was going to rough her up, but of course it was all in teasing.

  It was weird for me because I was fighting jealousy every time they got a little bit closer. I wanted him to find someone, but I still felt some kind of ownership to my security blanket. We didn’t sleep apart and over the last week, I didn’t need to be asleep for it to work. Some nights we would just lie awake and talk until the wee hours. He liked kissing my neck and I finally admitted I enjoyed it, but it pushed the line between us every time.

  “So why do you like it so much?” he asked me as we cuddled preparing to go to sleep.

  “Because it tingles all the way to my belly button,” I laughed as he placed another slow kiss on my neck. “The sensation is almost electrical.”

  “It shocks?”

  “Not exactly, look let’s try something, but don’t get the wrong idea.”

  “I love it when you tell me not to get the wrong idea about something because I know I’m getting ready to get the wrong idea about something,” he snickered in my hair.

  I rolled over and faced him, which was something I didn’t do when in bed with him, “Roll over.”

  “You mean you want me to-”

  “Yeah, you roll on your side and let me hold you for a little while. You’re going to tell me if this feels anything to you like it does to me. Let’s see if I can generate a little of this electrical feeling for you.”

  “Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” he said, suddenly sounding very unsure about being the recipient of affection.

  “Yes or no?” I asked simply. I didn’t want to do anything to make him uncomfortable, he was much too important to me to ruin a beautiful friendship.

  “Okay, but if you lose your level head we’re both in big trouble.”

  I didn’t know why he was concerned about it. It was true I’d only been on the receiving end of affection from him, but how hard could it be to draw a line and stop? “I’m not going to flip out and jump your bones, Ryan.”

  “Okay,” he said softly, still sounding unsure, but rolling to his side.

  “Well, it certainly isn’t going to be easy,” I laughed, trying to fit against him. “You’re like a giant from this perspective.” I slipped my arm around his waist, but had to move it up to his chest so I could get a good angle on his neck. And then I started laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked seriously.

  “I feel like a freaking vampire getting ready to bite your jugular!” I teased as I made a lunge for his throat.

  “Damn that tickles,” he said, scrunching his neck.

  “Okay, okay, I’ve got it under control. I swear all I’m going to do is kiss your neck and you tell me how it feels.”

  He was still laughing, “You know this is kind of fun, Leese.”

  “Be quiet and be still,” I warned as I prepared to kiss his bared skin. I didn’t think I was going to get into this, but as I breathed, nibbled, kissed, and suckled against his skin, I lost all sense of what I was doing. His reaction as he moaned and whispered my name only made me want to do more to him.

  My hand, which was supposed to only be holding around his waist was feeling every gloriously muscled and softly sculpted part of his chest. My body had become molded to his as my hips began to move in a once familiar pattern against his body and the heat flooded me. I was breathing hard as I rolled away and began pulling his shoulder to roll him toward me.

  When he turned to me, I was over the invisible line and I didn’t care. I knew the words I was afraid to utter were resting on the tip of my tongue.

  “Leese, baby, are you okay?”

  I took his hand and brought it to my breast and then closed my eyes as I permitted his touch. I could feel him gather above me, his muscled arms came around each side of me. My breathing was getting faster, as I felt his lips barely brush against mine.

  “Shit, Leese, this is really going to happen, isn’t it? You’re going to let me do this when I don’t have a frickin’ clue what I’m doing. But you’ve got to ask me, baby girl, you have to do what you said or I can’t go any further.”

  Micah, Micah, Micah, was all I kept screaming inside my head. “N-no,” I said pushing him away, my other hand went to my own forbidden places as I remembered Micah’s words that I didn’t need to have a man for this moment. In seconds the shockwaves hit me so hard I doubled over, turning away from Ryan and crying out at the sheer magnitude of the first orgasm I’d had since the last time Micah brought me to this point.

  “What the hell was that?” came his stunned words.

  I was still in a ball and crying my eyes out. I tumbled out of the bed and ran for the bathroom, nausea flooding my senses over what I’d done right in front of him. I washed my face, splashing the cold water on my skin and simply wanting to drown myself.

  I felt his hands on my waist. Crap! I hadn’t locked the door. He ne
ver came in on me in the bathroom.

  I grabbed a washcloth and buried my face into it, I couldn’t look at him. I was so ashamed. “I’m so, so sorry, Ryan-I’ll sleep in the other room and tomorrow I’m getting out of here.”

  “Whoa, don’t you dare start talking like that.”

  I straightened slowly and finally looked at him, “I was just a freak show in the bedroom and I can’t-”

  “Freak show? Baby, you were so freaking damn sexy I thought I was gonna die watching you. I just never knew it was that intense for a girl.”

  “Well, trust me I have no clue if I’m normal or not. I blew it, Ryan-I totally blew my control and if you hadn’t asked me to actually say it, I would have been your first and I can’t do that with you-it’s just wrong. I promised him forever. I can’t promise it twice.” I broke down sobbing, flinching as his arms encircled me.

  “Shhh, it’s okay. I know you’re trying to do everything right, but baby you’re forgetting something really important,” he said, as he tipped my chin up, “you’re still human.”

  “But I’m so ashamed.”

  “I thought you were beautiful, not to mention you had the strength to push me away.”

  “How can you stand me? I satisfied myself and left you laying there.”

  “Go back to bed, Leese. I’m going to take a shower.”

  I looked at him wondering if he was telling me something with his remark.

  “Yeah, I know how to take care of me. I’ll be in there in a little while. Goodnight.”

  I climbed in the bed still unable to believe what happened. I was awake when he returned to the bed and cuddled up behind me with his arm around my waist.

  When morning came, I woke early and dressed and grabbed my purse. I was going down to the Saturday Farmers Market. Besides, I needed something to clear last night out of my head. Ryan would sleep until noon, so I locked the house and began a slow walk toward the market.

  The café was on the way and I decided I’d stop and have a coffee and a muffin. I kept getting this odd feeling someone was following me. There were quite a few people out this morning doing the exact same thing I was doing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. I stopped at the café and sat at an outside table for two as I sipped the piping hot Hazelnut coffee and picked at a blueberry muffin. I was glancing through the local newspaper when a shadow crossed my morning sunshine. I turned and my heart lurched hard against my chest; David Gavarreen was standing beside me.