A Mate For Raphael (Forbidden Shifters Book 2)

by Selena Scott

  He tried to talk, but couldn’t. He just kept holding her, letting the light fade from the room.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  A few hours later, Nat sat on Raph’s kitchen counter, swimming in his oversized sweats because she hadn’t thought to bring anything to change into and the thought of getting back into sexy lingerie right now was… not gonna happen. She pulled apart the hot, gooey grilled cheese he’d just made for her and watched as he made one for himself.

  He had his back to her and though he was mostly standing still, he still seemed to vibrate with movement and energy, glow almost. He’d always been like that. For as long as she could remember. She’d always just attributed it to his wolf. But maybe that was just Raphael.

  “Have you shifted again? Since the wedding?”

  He shook his head, turning back to her and hissing as he tossed the grilled cheese from one hand to the other while it cooled down. “No. But I kind of feel like I could right now.”

  “Does it feel different than on a full moon?”

  Raph took a bite and nodded. “Definitely. It’s like the difference of, oh, I don’t know… falling asleep because of cold medicine and falling asleep just because you wanna take a nap in the sun.”

  “You mean the full moon forces you to shift but it feels better to shift of your own volition?”

  “Neither of them feel bad. Anymore. Since all of Bauer’s training. But shifting of my own volition is way, way better. I’ve never really felt anything like it before. It makes me feel really free.”

  “But doesn’t your body still kind of force you to do it? You’re not completely free, right?”

  He considered that. “It’s not without effort, if that’s what you mean. Bauer can shift anytime he wants any part of the month. He can even shift back into human form on a full moon, which, yeah, that feels light years away for me. But for instance, I could shift right now. I’m just not going to.”

  He strode over to her and showed her the raised hairs on his arms.

  “That is what happens when your body is ready to shift?”

  “Yeah. It’s been happening a lot lately. It’s like my body is telling me that it’s ready whenever I am.”

  “That’s what was happening to you that first night we kissed.”

  He shifted on his feet. “Yeah.”

  “And at Seth’s wedding? It was happening then, too?”

  “Yeah.” Was it her imagination, or was he starting to look a little uncomfortable?

  “I wonder why it’s started up all of a sudden.” She finished off her grilled cheese and accepted another pull on the beer they’d been sharing.

  He shrugged and Natalie watched him. She glanced at the clock over his shoulder.

  “You want me to get out of here?”

  “What? Why would I want that?” He looked shocked that she’d even suggest it and something in Natalie’s chest swelled with happiness.

  “Because it’s Sunday night. Don’t you have your soccer league on Sunday nights?”

  “Oh. Right. I’m not gonna go. I’m dead from the gym. And from the blowjob of a lifetime.”

  She blushed. “But isn’t the soccer league where you were gonna go and… make new friends?”

  He studied her for a long minute and it was one of those rare times in her life that Natalie couldn’t read a damn thing on his face, his expression was completely inscrutable. “I’m not in the mood for wife-hunting tonight, Nat. Just stay and hang, yeah?”

  “Okay,” she shrugged. Immediate relief inundated her that he wanted her to stay. She firmly told herself that she couldn’t get in the habit of monopolizing his time, especially his wife-hunting time. That wouldn’t be fair. But tonight, she knew she would have felt a little vulnerable and left out if he’d hustled her into her car and went on his merry way to make friends with women he might want to marry one day.

  “Movie?” he suggested.

  They tuned in halfway through a scary movie marathon on one of his movie channels and Natalie was relieved to see it was one she’d seen a few times before. Otherwise, it ran the risk of freaking her out for a few nights of sleeplessness.

  Ten minutes into sitting quietly next to one another, Raph leaned over and picked up her hand. He laced his fingers through hers and let his thumb draw circles on the back of her hand. Goosebumps rose on Natalie’s arms as her heart started clanging in her chest. Her goosebumps reminded her of his goosebumps and she found herself studying the raised hairs on his forearms. She leaned forward and muted the television.

  He swung those celery green eyes over to her and waited patiently for whatever she was gearing up to say.

  “What if you shifted?”

  His brow furrowed. “Right now?”

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  “You mean, what would happen if I shifted right now?”

  She nodded again.

  “Um. You’d be sitting next to a wolf.”

  “That’s all? You’d just look at me and I’d just look at you?”

  “Honestly, I’d probably hit you up for some ear scratches because that’s always what I do to Bauer and my mom.”

  Nat laughed. She found that piece of information impossibly endearing and so Raph. “If I asked you to do it, would you?”

  “Nat,” Raph turned and put one leg up on the couch, facing her. “Are you asking me to shift for you?”

  “Well… yeah. I’ve only ever seen it from afar. And I’ll probably never even really see that again, considering you guys have to go so far out of town on full moons these days.”

  “You want to be trapped in a living room with a full-grown red wolf,” he confirmed.

  “I mean, it’s not dangerous, right? You’re not dangerous?”

  He was quiet as he contemplated her question. “I’m not overtly dangerous, Nat. But I’m still an animal. My brain is different when I’m shifted. It’s hard to explain.”

  “Could you understand me if I spoke to you?”

  He considered that. “I can understand basic English. Yeah. Better than Seth and Jacks, that’s for sure. If you said, ‘come here’ or ‘that way’ or ‘stop’, something like that. And maybe even a lot more than that. But long sentences, complex ideas, plans with lots of steps, that would most likely be lost on me.”

  “And you can just shift back whenever you want?”

  “So far, I’ve had success with that. Yeah.”

  She turned and faced him completely, her hands still twisted up in his. “So, do it!”

  His chin dipped down. “You’re serious. You want to me to shift for you right now.”

  “Yes.”

  “Nat, you’re nuts.”

  “I’m really not. Raph, you’re gonna have to shift in front of your wife at some point, right? Odds are. And if you have kids, you’re gonna have to shift with them. Hell, you’re going to have to teach them to shift.”

  He looked equal parts thrilled and disturbed by what she was saying. “I guess.”

  “I’m not saying that you should shift so that I can spoon a wolf on the couch for the rest of the night. But what about a few minutes? Just so I can see what you’re like?”

  He frowned. “I think my brothers would say this is a really bad idea.”

  “But you don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

  “I guess, well, I know that I’m not dangerous. I wouldn’t hurt you. But what if I can’t shift back?”

  “What’s helped you shift back on your own before?”

  “At the wedding it was, uh, your scent.” He pulled his hands free of hers and raked them through his hair. Nat got the distinct impression that that was a piece of information he hadn’t planned on sharing with her.

  “Really?” She told herself not to make a big deal about it, since he seemed so uncomfortable about it. But that revelation sparked about nine hundred new questions in her. How did that work? Why her scent in particular? What did it feel like? What did she smell like? Did she smell different when he was in wolf form? She bit
her lip. “Well, you’re in luck. Because I’m filled with my scent and sitting right here. I’ll call you right back!”

  He frowned. “You’re just curious? That’s all?”

  That was a fair question. Because she didn't want to force him to do something that was potentially painful and hard and scary all just to quell some curiosity that she had. That wouldn’t be fair to him. “I think it’s more that I want to know that side of you. You know? I mean, we’ve always been so close. I feel like I can read your thoughts most of the time. And now I know what it’s like to, um, to have sex with you. So, I guess I feel like your wolf is kind of like the final frontier. It’s the last step to truly knowing you, Raph. And maybe it’s selfish but I guess I want to truly know you.”

  He stared at her for a second, his head tipped to one side and his green eyes blazing and bright in a way she’d never quite seen before. He groaned and covered his eyes with one hand. “You’re killing me, Nat.”

  “Killing you how?” She was instantly concerned that she was pushing him way too far on this. But then he lowered his hand and his eyes were much softer than they’d been just a moment ago.

  “Never mind. You’re right. I want you to know me, too. In all ways.”

  She brightened. “You’ll do it?”

  “Yeah.”

  He stood up and started shucking off his clothes. Natalie’s heart jumped into her throat as she pulled her knees up to her chin and gave herself a squeeze. She couldn’t believe this was happening.

  And then she got a little distracted because he was naked and so incredibly beautiful. Seriously. This kind of perfection deserved a monument. Or at least an active Instagram page! But she knew that was not why Raphael worked out so much. He wasn’t trying to be the hottest guy on the block. He was trying to manage his life in a way that worked for him. He dealt with stress by working out.

  But that didn’t mean she couldn’t blatantly ogle him. She lost her train of thought as her eyes bottomed out between his legs.

  He laughed but then something was happening. Holy smokes! He was shifting! He hadn’t even warned her. He was standing on the far side of the coffee table. His body started to arch and change shape, his chin elongating, his color changing from golden to a russet-ish gray as fur popped up all over him. Honestly, she was shocked at how much training he must have undergone over the year because she knew that his shift used to take him twenty or thirty seconds. But today, in his living room, she almost blinked and missed it.

  And then, just like he’d said, she was trapped in a room with a full-grown red wolf. He was a hell of a lot bigger than she’d imagined he’d be this close up. He was… honestly pretty scary. The blue light of the TV accented his almost silvery white teeth and his eyes didn’t look remotely human. There was no flicker of humanity there. No spark of intuition or understanding. Honestly, she didn’t see anything of Raphael in this animal in front of her.

  Maybe this had been a mistake.

  Natalie held her knees even tighter as the animal turned and looked at the TV for a second. He rose up off his haunches and sniffed at the screen, doing a little half-sneeze exhalation when the screen static-shocked him. He was on all fours now, sniffing the air again, when he turned and looked at Natalie.

  Something shivered, freezing cold, down her spine. She really, really wasn’t sure if she liked this.

  The wolf took a step toward her and then another.

  “Wait!”

  She pushed herself back on the couch and the wolf immediately froze, his eyes bright and watchful.

  “I’m a little scared, Raph,” she whispered, hoping that using his name would remind her that it was her friend in there. Not just a random wild animal, liable to tear her head off her shoulders.

  Immediately the wolf lay down. His head rested on his front paws and his eyes looked up at her, mournful. A low whine came from the wolf’s throat and Natalie nervously chuckled.

  “Maybe if you wagged your tail I’d feel less nervous?”

  Again, the wolf instantly complied, wagging his tail like a puppy and still looking up at her with sweet eyes.

  She took a deep breath and inched forward a little. If she were to lean all the way down, she’d just be able to graze the wolf’s snout with her fingertips. But, like, no way in hell was she about to do that.

  Natalie yelped in surprise when the wolf suddenly moved, but she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that he was just rolling onto his back, giving up the belly in an age-old sign of submission.

  Nat couldn’t help but smile a little. She sniffed the air. “You kind of stink when you’re a wolf, Raph.”

  The wolf sniffed the air himself and his tail started wagging against the floor again, his belly still in the air.

  Nat inched to the edge of the couch now, leaning over the side. Her heartbeat was starting to settle a little. This was just like being with a big dog. Now that he wasn’t sitting straight up and eyeing her like she was dinner.

  Slowly, still on his back, the wolf extended one paw out so that the pads of his foot were just a few inches from Nat’s knee.

  Just as slowly, and deeply mindful of the wolf’s glintingly sharp claws, Nat laid her own palm over the bottom of the wolf’s paw.

  It was rough and surprisingly warm. A feeling coursed through her, though she wasn’t quite sure what it was.

  “Raph?” she asked, looking down at the upside-down wolf face. “Are you really in there?”

  The tail beat against the ground again as the wolf cocked his head to the side, just as she had.

  He took his paw away and very slowly rolled up to a sit. She leaned back again, but she was considerably less freaked out than she’d been before.

  The wolf laid his head on the edge of the couch, next to her knee, hitting her with the puppy dog eyes again.

  Nat narrowed her eyes at the expression. “If you bite me, you’re never going to get to see me naked again.”

  The wolf whined mournfully and Natalie laughed.

  “Oh, fine. You win.”

  Gently, her fingers shaking, she pressed her hand to the top of the wolf’s head, carefully avoiding the entire mouth region. Even though she’d seen him shift, it was still very hard for her to reconcile the fact that it was him. He was in there.

  But she had to admit that the wolf was kind of cute. His fur was different than she’d expected. Each strand of hair was smooth and strong, and she could tell that it would take a lot of water to penetrate to the more downy fur underneath. It was more like petting a seal than it was a stuffed animal. She scratched at one ear and then the other. He was sweet enough that she let her other hand get in on the action. She laughed as he leaned in to one hand and then the other, an expression of pure bliss on his face.

  A few minutes passed and she felt much more comfortable than she had before. She even let the wolf rest his head on her knee.

  “Okay,” she said after a while. “I think I’m ready for you to come back now.”

  Almost instantly, things happened. His color changed, his body twisted shape. And then it was blond-headed Raph with his head on her knee, not a wolf any longer. But his eyes were feral and intense.

  “Nat,” he choked. “Nat.”

  “Are you all right?” She braced herself as he crawled up onto the couch, over her. She slid down onto her back as he laid his naked body out over her.

  He buried his nose in her neck. “You have no idea how you smell when I’m in wolf form. My God.” He took great huffing breaths of her, filling himself with her scent. “Natalie. Natalie.”

  He was lost, gone, experiencing something intense and she felt it was all that she could do to just hold tight to him, kiss his ear, hitch her legs around his waist.

  He reached into the pocket of the sweatpants she was wearing and he emerged with a condom that he’d apparently stashed there.

  He held it up to her, his eyes imploring her.

  “Are you serious?” she asked with a half laugh. “You’re a mach
ine.”

  “I need you,” he said hoarsely. “I can’t explain it. When you call me back like that. Something happens to me. It’s like I have to mate with you.”

  For some reason, him putting it in those terms really did it for Natalie. She felt her nerves from seeing him as a wolf disappear. She felt her befuddlement at his sudden passion disappear. And in their place, she felt a fast-rising burn start to sweep through her system.

  “I’m yours, Raph,” she whispered, unable to find any other words to say what she needed to say.

  Immediately he pulled her sweatpants down and off, leaving her naked from the waist down. He found her with his fingers and opened her. The condom was on him half a second later and then his head was under her shirt. He was licking at one nipple and then tugging fiercely with his teeth. He kissed a path along her birthmark and then shoved her shirt up, freeing himself and exposing her.

  His tongue pushed into her mouth at the same moment he pushed into her pussy. She arched and screamed and was grateful that he gave her a long, pulsing moment to acclimate.

  “I need you,” he whispered in her ear.

  “You have me,” she whispered back, marveling at this newfound intensity in him. She wondered what it was that made him need her so badly, so intensely.

  But he was lost for her, obviously, and she’d never felt so powerful in her entire life. She felt something ancient wake up inside of her. Maybe it was a deep-seated insecurity she’d always felt. Natalie was always the great friend but never the sexy one. Somewhere along the line she’d internalized that truth. Or maybe it was Paul’s embarrassed expression when he’d tried to gently explain that he wasn’t turned on by her. But every rough stroke of Raphael inside her, his mindless breath in her ear, he was pounding away at something she didn’t need to believe anymore.

  Natalie felt deeply, primally sexy in his arms. She knew, without any doubt, how badly this man wanted her, burned for her, needed her. She knew that she’d wrecked him earlier, giving him some damn good head. But this was different than that. This had nothing to do with sexual talent and everything to do with her. Who she was on an elemental level. This was the animal inside Raphael needing to mate with her.