Falling Fast

by Cerise DeLand

  “Rude bastard,” Jeff muttered and turned to examine Shana’s features. “Has he been a pain in the ass to work with?”

  Oh, Jeff. Ever the sly public relations man. Looking for a way to learn more. “No. He’s been a gentleman.”

  “How much of a gentleman?”

  Outrage bubbled over. “None of your business.”

  “Oh, but it is. My business. My employee. The woman I’d like to get closer to.”

  “That’s not going to happen, Jeff.”

  “I haven’t even gotten started yet.” He leaned over and took her hand.

  She considered his, so much smaller and cooler than Kade’s ever were.

  “Shana, I missed you. I came not just to see this place, but to see if we can get back on track with our relationship.”

  “We don’t have a relationship and won’t ever have one.” She glared at him.

  “A stubborn woman.”

  “Yes. I’ll stay that way, too.”

  He spread his hand wide. “We’ll see.”

  Shivering in the chilly certainty of his rhetoric, Shana knew she’d have to find a permanent solution to his unwanted attentions.

  She rose. “Let me get the records for you.”

  * * * *

  After the review of the books, she couldn’t dissuade Jeff from going to the Long Horn that night. “You love to dance. What’s your problem?”

  But he knew. She saw it in his calculating eyes.

  As a result, she took one step closer to ridding herself of him forever.

  “It’s okay, Shana. I just want to see what the local folks look like. Are they well-heeled enough to buy tickets to our events?”

  “You know they are. I did the demographic studies months ago.”

  “Then let’s just say I want to dance.”

  She wanted to stomp on his foot then. “If I’m stubborn, you’re not far behind.” She whirled away from him. “Dinner is at my place, but it’s no grand invitation. You’ll eat with me because the only diner in town isn’t open and won’t be for a few more weeks.”

  “That doesn’t bode well. How will this town take care of more travelers coming through for the rodeo?”

  “They’re putting in an expanded kitchen and a bigger main dining room. So we’ll be fine.”

  He lifted his brows. “We will be fine? Is that you buying in like a good PR person or are you planning on staying here?”

  “Buying in, Jeff,” she bit off. “Just buying in. Come to my rooms at five.”

  “Great. What’s for dinner?”

  Old shoe leather and a kick in the pants. “Barbeque and beans.”

  Both of which sat like lead in her stomach as she and Jeff walked into the Long Horn.

  “Hey, Shana,” Reata called to her and waved. Kade’s receptionist sized up Jeff with critical gray eyes and cocked an elegant dark brow at her. “Dancing tonight?”

  If I liked drinking more, I’d do that, too. “Think so, yes.”

  Reata slid closer and told her quietly. “Kade’s in the bar.”

  Shana bit her lip, restrained her urge to look for him and thanked the woman who was fast becoming her friend.

  “I see a table over here, Shana.” Jeff led her toward the back of the hall. When they were seated, he raised his hand to a waitress and ordered two beers.

  The band was well into The Tennessee Waltz, and the Friday night crowd was doing more talking than dancing. So when Jeff paid for the drinks, took a swig of his and held his hand out to her to dance, she knew they’d be only the third couple on that very big floor.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jeff.” He was a good dancer but not a graceful one. And a waltz, even the Texas-two-step version, required a command of the floor and precision that he had never possessed. She knew people here. Lots of them by now. And they had always seen her in the arms of a man who took to this floor like he’d been born to it. She didn’t want to embarrass Jeff, and she certainly didn’t want Kade to see how she looked in the embrace of another man. “Let’s have our drinks. Wait a bit.”

  “Let’s not.” He pulled her forward and, lest she shame him and allow him to look bad in a town where he needed to become known, she went.

  He must have been nervous. His timing was off and for that, try though she might, she couldn’t save him from himself. To make matters worse, from the corner of her eye, she saw an impossibly tall, buff male take up a position on the side wall, staring at them.

  Kade. Kade. What are you doing? Don’t get angry. This isn’t worth it.

  The tune wasn’t over quickly enough for her. She put a hand to her heart, feeling the rising tempo of her fear of confrontation.

  But the next song was a Virginia reel, and Jeff insisted they do that, too. Buried in more of a crowd, she felt marginally better, but the tension riled her stomach.

  As they applauded the band, she told him, “I’ve got to go home, Jeff. I’m not feeling well.”

  He narrowed his gaze at her. “Really?”

  She disliked him then. Oh, she had tolerated his arrogance as a businessman. She had at one time in her young life been flattered by his attention to her. But she had never found him intriguing as an employer or a man.

  Huffing, she spun on her heel. “Don’t bother,” she muttered as she beelined her way through the crowd. “I can go myself.”

  Jeff was right behind her, grabbing her arm and insisting she stop. “Stop, for chrissakes!” He spun her around.

  “Take your hands off the lady, Wentworth.”

  Kade. Kade with his barrel-deep bass warning a man to treat her right. Kade with his warm solid body heating hers as he stepped in back of her. Kade, towering over her as he always had with comfort and care. Kade, hovering over Jeff and in those few inches, making the other man drop his hold and back away.

  “I’ll take you back,” Jeff declared.

  “I don’t think so,” objected Kade.

  Shana escaped them both by sidestepping and leaving them to face each other, two bulls in the ring.

  Reata joined Shana as she beat a path to the front door. “Can I give you a ride home?”

  She nodded. Home. “What a great idea.”

  Chapter Six

  Three weeks later, Shana’s Aunt Mary brought the house phone to her as she sat on the back porch overlooking her aunt’s south acreage. The older woman looked at Shana as sorrowfully as she had so many times when Kade had returned Shana’s calls on business and she’d been brief with him. It had taken all Shana’s courage to talk to him about rodeo details.

  She had thought it would be easier to complete her planning if she were far away from him where she could be focused totally on the rodeo’s success. She had assumed she would be more objective. To some extent that was true, except for the fact that she didn’t sleep well at night and walked the floor, reliving what she’d lost, yearning for what she needed with him. So if she had more time to complete her plans here at her aunt’s ranch, Shana also had more time to realize that if she was successful at building the Hayward rodeo into a first-class event, she could then work on the courage it would take her to confront the real issues that separated her from Kade.

  If Kade perceived that or if he had just given up on her when she’d left him, Shana could never tell by his voice on the phone. He was distant and cool. Always. Was this Kade calling now to once more be the efficient businessman and show her his indifference?

  “Shana, darlin’,” Aunt Mary began now as she put her hand over the receiver. “This is your boss. I know you said you wanted to talk to him if he called.”

  Shana reached for the phone. “Hello, Jeff.” She’d known she’d have to have this conversation some time, though she wished she could have waited until opening night of the rodeo. “How are you?”

  “Better now that you’re talking to me,” he said with rare contrition in his voice. “Look, Shana, let me start off by saying I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you, Jeff. I appreciate it,” she told him
with all honesty. He’d just been himself. If that wasn’t what she wanted in a man, in a lover, in a mate, or even in an employer, his nature wasn’t something he needed to regret. “Circumstances weren’t good that day. It all went sour because that was what was meant to be.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She knew it would be the last words that passed between them that held any kind of intimacy. She switched to the professional aspect that had brought them together four years ago. “I hope you’ve had an opportunity to read my latest reports.”

  “I have. They’re very detailed. You’ve done a spectacular job. Hayward will reap the rewards.”

  “I do believe you’re right,” she declared with more joy. “Will you go to the opening?”

  “No. I think I might not want to show my face in Hayward for quite some time.”

  “Don’t be like that, Jeff. They should welcome you. You came up with the plan.”

  “No, Shana, you did.”

  She was grateful for the acknowledgment. “And you agreed to the lower retainer.”

  “Yes, and since you left Hayward and went home to Uvalde, you haven’t even charged that amount for living expenses.”

  “Right. I didn’t need them.”

  “I’m giving them to you, Shana.”

  “You charged them my expenses?” Oh, she would be madder than a coyote if he had.

  “No. I’m just paying you for them anyway. I know you’ll turn around and give them to your aunt. But then, you’ve probably given her quite a bit anyway.”

  Shana was quiet, stunned with his perception. Maybe there was hope for him after all. “I did, yes.”

  “And I’m giving you a bonus, too.”

  “No.”

  “Yes, ten percent on the retainer. I saw the ticket sales for the first performance on opening night, Shana. What with Kylee’s small take and the enormous ticket sales, they can well afford to give us more. I had a talk with Sam Trunbridge this morning, and they are sending it over with this month’s retainer.”

  “That’s very generous of Sam.” She wondered what he’d done for Kade who had negotiated such a hard-driving bargain with her in the first place.

  “He gave Stapleton a raise. Effective immediately.”

  “Wonderful.” He deserves it and more. So much more.

  “Twenty percent.”

  “Amazing! Sam Trunbridge doesn’t like to part with his money unless it’s for a good cause.”

  “Well, he found his man, didn’t he?”

  So did I. Tears clogged her throat. She couldn’t reply.

  “So then,” he drifted off, “want to tell me when you plan on coming back?”

  “When I’m done here, Jeff.” When I’m done figuring out what to do with the rest of my life.

  * * * *

  Shana bought a ticket at the gate that afternoon just like any other fair-goer. To have called anyone, Kade or Sam or Reata, and let them know she was coming was not what she wanted to experience here.

  She needed the full feel of what she’d created. She’d told herself these last few weeks as she worked on the opening from her aunt’s ranch house south of here, that if she could be proud of what she’d done here, she would feel stronger about revealing the truth to Kade. But the truth had come to her a few days ago. No matter the cost, she had to reveal everything to him, mature and go on with her life. If he hated her, she would, as she had planned from the start of this project, leave him with the potential for a great future. If he accepted her apology for not telling him who she was and why she had wanted to work on the rodeo development, all the better. She told herself not to hope that his reaction might be more—she had left him too quickly without any explanation—but she would walk away from here with memories of passion and romance thrilling enough to last a lifetime.

  So she got out of her car, ran her hands over her white shirt and jeans and began to stroll the rodeo grounds.

  And oh, god, was the feeling delicious.

  From the new coat of whitewash on the barns and the new signs at the gates to the spiffily dressed ticket-takers and the look of the newly sanded main ring, the Hayward rodeo looked first class.

  Strolling around, grinning like an imbecile, she bought caramel popcorn and ate every kernel. She wolfed down beef barbeque with so many jalapenos, she was certain her hair curled. She went out to the stalls and strolled along the bull pens and the bronco pens. Oh, Kade, you must be proud of this.

  She walked along the newly paved, trailer-access lot and watched penning teams saddling up their horses for the competition. She laughed at the greased pig races, and tried the jerky from five different vendors before she held up her hand and said, “Thanks, no more!”

  She walked toward the office and the parking lot where Kade’s and Sam’s trucks sat. She didn’t want to see Kade until she was ready. So she sat across from the office trailer in the shade of a live oak on a picnic bench, her sunglasses on, to plan her words.

  That’s when the office door opened and Sam came out, arm in arm, with none other than Kylee Farrell. They grinned at each other like fools as they strode to his truck. Then, as he opened the door for her, she reached up on tiptoes and planted a huge smacker on his mouth. In flashpoint, Sam had her pinned against the cab and the path his mouth took down the lady’s western shirt was nigh unto scintillating. So much for staying away from temptation, Sam Trunbridge. They broke away suddenly, laughed and looked around.

  Sam waved at Shana. “I’m coming back in about an hour. Glad you’re here. I need to talk to you.”

  She nodded. “I think you need to make sure you talk a lot to Kylee,” she called.

  “I have. We did. Thanks to you.”

  She smiled, shrugged and waved him off. “I’ll be here. Get going!” She suspected she knew where they were headed, too.

  Then from the other direction, Shana saw Reata approach her.

  “Hey, sweetie.” Reata gave her a hug and sat next to her. “I’ve been watching you roam around the grounds for quite a while. What do you think?”

  “I’m tickled!”

  “You should be.” Reata took a long look at Shana, her dark brown eyes probing. “Aren’t you going to see Kade?”

  Shana gathered up every ounce of courage she had found in the past months. “It’s why I’m here. Do you know where I can find him?”

  Reata beamed at her. “Thank god. That man is no good without you.”

  “Might not be good with me, either. Not after what I did to him. Not after what I need to tell him.”

  “Well, whatever it is, you need to have a talk with him. If he can’t understand, he can’t find a way to ever smile again, now can he?”

  “No. Me, either. Where do I go?”

  Reata pointed up into the stands, now teaming with fans settling in to watch the next performance.

  “Oh, hell, Reata. I’ll never find him.” But she had to try.

  Among the thousands of people, most men would be hard to find. Kade Stapleton was hard to miss.

  Backed up against the wall of the tallest stadium seats, he stood, his legs spread, his arms crossed. In his standard starched, white western shirt and jeans with a silver belt buckle as big as her two fists, he was a scrumptious sight for her sore eyes. He watched the formations of the latest act in the arena, a drum and bugle corps from the local high school. His handsome face was split in the biggest grin she’d ever seen him sport.

  But when she walked up to him and said hello, his features fell apart.

  He inhaled, recovering himself to take in her ponytail, shirt and jeans. “Been around to see your work?”

  She stood taller, scraping up all her gumption. He was still so angry. How could she ever explain? How could she survive making him angrier? “I have. It looks wonderful.”

  He gave Shana her due. “You need to be proud of yourself.”

  “I am.” She took the words and used them to her advantage. “I’d like to be prouder.”

 
He stared at her. Whether he understood what she meant or not, she couldn’t take time to learn. The noise from the crowd was rising to higher, ear-splitting decibels and she couldn’t speak to him here. “I’d like to talk to you. Privately.”

  “Now?”

  She nodded. “It won’t take me long, and what I want to tell you is long overdue. Can we go to your office?”

  He thought that one over for long seconds. “Hurry up. I want to be back for the next event.”

  Shana expected him to take her arm and help her descend the steps, like the gentleman he always was, but he didn’t touch her.

  And as they walked across the yard toward the office, she regretted that she’d ever tried to come here and talk to him. What was she going to gain? Whatever it was, a freer conscience, a clear slate, it was her gain, wasn’t it? Not his. How selfish of her.

  He took out his keys and opened the main office door. Then he swung it wide to let her precede him. She strode inside to the room where she’d first met him and first seen that he was better—so much better—than any fantasy she’d had of him. Her temporary desk, all the rickety chairs, the overflowing file cabinets were gone. The only item that remained was Kade’s desk, clean as a whistle, not paper or paperclip to be found.

  She spun toward him. “What’s happening here? Where is everything?”

  Kade had taken up the same hard stance he’d assumed up on the stairs. Corded legs braced wide, massive arms folded across his chest. His position was formidable and so was his tone. “Gone. Sam’s building us a new office over on the other side of the pens.”

  “That’s terrific.” She clasped her hands together. “Oh, just what you need.”

  His expression told her no, that was not what he needed. “What do you want, Shana?”

  “I came to tell you everything.”

  “Why?” The word was dark with pain.

  She had to keep going. “Because I should have long ago. Because I owe it to you.”

  He shook his head. “You owe me nothing.” He extended an arm to define the room, the pens, the main rodeo. “You did all this. I owe you my thanks.”

  “I hear Sam gave you a raise.” She stepped toward him.