Curtains for Three

by Rex Stout

  He looked at Fred. “Suppose you opened a drawer Ijaf Mrs. Mion’s dresser to get smelling salts, ~and the fjjpm was there, with an odor showing it had been re fseently fired—put there, you would instantly conjec l���ure, by someone to direct suspicion at her. What fpprould you naturally do? Exactly what you did do: take |it upstairs and put it beside the body, without letting know about it. Or—” “Rot,” Fred said harshly. “Absolute rot.” Wolfe looked at Peggy. “Or suppose it was you who pound it there in your bedroom, after he had gone |tiownstairs. Naturally you would have—”

  “This is absurd,” Peggy said with spirit. “How fcould it have been in my bedroom unless I put it there? My husband was alive at five-thirty, and I got home efore that, and was right there, in the living room and

  16 Rex Stout

  my room, until Fred came at seven o’clock. So unless you assume—”

  “Very well,” Wolfe conceded. “Not the bedroom. But somewhere. I can’t proceed until I get this from one of you. Confound it, the gun didn’t fly. I expect plenty of lies from the others, at least one of them, but I want the truth from you.”

  “You’ve got it,” Fred declared.

  “No. I haven’t.”

  “Then it’s a stalemate.” Fred stood up. “Well, Peggy?”

  They looked at each other, and their eyes went through the performance again. When they got to the place in the script where it said, “It must be wonderful always,” Fred sat down.

  But Wolfe, having no part in the script, horned in. “A stalemate,” he said dryly, “ends the game, I believe.”

  Plainly it was up to me. If Wolfe openly committed himself to no dice nothing would budge him. I arose, got the pretty pink check from his desk, put it on mine, placed a paperweight on it, sat down, and grinned at him.

  “Granted that you’re dead right,” I observed, “which is not what you call apodictical, someday we ought to make up a list of the clients that have sat here and lied to us. There was Mike Walsh, and Calida Frost, and that cafeteria guy, Pratt—oh, dozens. But their money was good, and I didn’t get so far behind with my notes that I couldn’t catch up. All that for nothing?”

  “About those notes,” Fred Weppler said firmly. “I want to make something clear.”

  Wolfe looked at him.

  He looked back. “We came here,” he said, “to tell

  Curtains for Three 17

  in confidence about a problem and get you to in jpestigate. Your accusing us of lying makes me wonder ‘ we ought to go on, but if Mrs. Mion wants to I’m ng. But I want to make it plain that if you divulge at we’ve told you, if you tell the police or anyone that we said there was no gun there when we ent in, we’ll deny it in spite of your damn notes. We’ll eny it and stick to it!” He looked at his girl. “We’ve of to, Peggy! All right?”

  “He wouldn’t tell the police,” Peggy declared, with conviction.

  “Maybe not. But if he does, you’ll stick with me on >ie denial. Won’t you?” f& -“Certainly I will,” she promised, as if he had asked er to help kill a rattlesnake.

  Wolfe was taking them in, with his lips tightened. t>viously, with the check on my desk on its way to the he had decided to add them to the list of clients irho told lies and go on from there. He forced his eyes ride open to rest them, let them half close again, and oke.

  “We’ll settle that along with other things before jfve’re through,” he asserted. “You realize, of course, at I’m assuming your innocence, but I’ve made a Dusand wrong assumptions before now so they’re not orth much. Has either of you a notion of who killed Mion?”

  They both said no. He grunted. “I have.” They opened their eyes at him. He nodded. “It’s only another assumption, but I Ie it. It will take work to validate it. To begin with, I oust see the people you have mentioned—all six of |them—and I would prefer not to string it out. Since jyou don’t want them told that I’m investigating a mur

  18 Rex Stout

  der, we must devise a stratagem. Did your husband leave a will, Mrs. Mion?”

  She nodded and said yes.

  “Are you the heir?”

  “Yes, I—” She gestured. “I don’t need it and don’t want it.”

  “But it’s yours. That will do nicely. An asset of the estate is the expectation of damages to be paid by Mr. James for his assault on Mr. Mion. You may properly claim that asset. The six people I want to see were all concerned in that affair, one way or another. I’ll write them immediately, mailing the letter tonight special delivery, telling them that I represent you in the matter and would like them to call at my office tomorrow evening.”

  “That’s impossible!” Peggy cried, shocked. “I couldn’t! I wouldn’t dream of asking Gif to pay damages —”

  Wolfe banged a fist on his desk. “Confound it!” he roared. “Get out of here! Go! Do you think murders are solved by cutting out paper dolls? First you lie to me, and now you refuse to annoy people, including the murderer! Archie, put them out!”

  “Good for you,” I muttered at him. I was getting fed up too. I glared at the would-be clients. “Try the Salvation Army,” I suggested. “They’re old hands at helping people in trouble. You can have the notebooks to take along—at cost, six bits. No charge for the contents.”

  They were looking at each other.

  “I guess he has to see them somehow,” Fred conceded. “He has to have a reason, and I must admit that’s a good one. You don’t owe them anything—not one of them.”

  Peggy gave in.

  Curtains for Three 19

  After a few details had been attended to, the most aportant of which was getting addresses, they left, ic manner of their going, and of our speeding them,

  i so far from cordial that it might have been thought at instead of being the clients they were the prey. it the check was on my desk. When, after letting sin out, I returned to the office, Wolfe was leaning with his eyes shut, frowning in distaste.

  I stretched and yawned. “This ought to be fun,” I encouragingly. “Making it just a grab for dam3S. If the murderer is among the guests, see how you can keep it from him. I bet he catches on efore the jury comes in with the verdict.”

  “Shut up,” he growled. “Blockheads.”

  “Oh, have a heart,” I protested. “People in love sn’t supposed to think, that’s why they have to hire lined thinkers. You should be happy and proud they

  ked you. What’s a good big lie or two when you’re in re? When I saw—”

  “Shut up,” he repeated. His eyes came open. “Your

  ebook. Those letters must go at once.”

  Ill

  pounds nday evening’s party lasted a full three hours, and ler wasn’t mentioned once. Even so, it wasn’t ex ;ly jolly. The letters had put it straight that Wolfe, for Mrs. Mion, wanted to find out whether an propriate sum could be collected from Gifford James “ithout resort to lawyers and a court, and what sum ould be thought appropriate. So each of them was turally in a state of mind: Gifford James himself; his lighter Clara; his lawyer, Judge Henry Arnold; lele Bosley for Public Relations; Dr. Nicholas Lloyd

  20 Rex Stout

  &. $as the technical expert; and Rupert Grove, who had been Mioa’s manager. That made six, which was just comfortable for our big office. Fred and Peggy had not been invited.

  The James trio arrived together and were so punctual, right on the dot at nine o’clock, that Wolfe and I hadn’t yet finished our after-dinner coffee in the office. I was so curious to have a look that I went to answer the door instead of leaving it to Fritz, the chef and house overseer who helps to make Wolfe’s days and years a joy forever almost as much as I do. The first thing that impressed me was that the baritone took the lead crossing the threshold, letting his daughter and his lawyer tag along behind. Since I have occasionally let Lily Rowan share her pair of opera seats with me, James’ six feet and broad shoulders and cocky strut were nothing new, but I was surprised that he looked so young, since he must have been close to fifty. He hande
d me his hat as if taking care of his hat on Monday evening, August 15, was the one and only thing I had been born for. Unfortunately I let it drop.

  Clara made up for it by looking at me. That alone showed she was unusually observant, since one never looks at the flunkey who lets one in, but she saw me drop her father’s hat and gave me a glance, and then prolonged the glance until it practically said, “What are you, in disguise? See you later.” That made me feel friendly, but with reserve. Not only was she pale and tense, as Peggy Mion had said, but her blue eyes glistened, and a girl her age shouldn’t glisten hike that. Nevertheless^ I gave her a grin to show that I appreciated the prolonged glance.

  Meanwhile the lawyer, Judge Henry Arnold, had hung up his own hat. During the day I had of course made inquiries on all of them, and had learned that he

  Curtains for Three 21

  I the “Judge” only because he had once been a city ate. Even so, that’s what they called him, so i sight of him was a let-down. He was a little sawed f squirt with a bald head so flat on top you could have an ashtray on it, and his nose was pushed in. He st have been better arranged inside than out, since s had quite a list of clients among the higher levels on

  iway.

  Taking them to the office and introducing them to felfe, I undertook to assign them to some of the yelbw chairs, but the baritone spied the red leather one copped it. I was helping Fritz fill their orders for when the buzzer sounded and I went back to front.

  It was Dr. Nicholas Lloyd. He had no hat, so that at wasn’t raised, and I decided that the searching ok he aimed at me was merely professional and auto tic, to see if I was anemic or diabetic or what. With lined handsome face and worried dark eyes he oked every inch a doctor and even surgeon, fully up the classy reputation my inquiries had disclosed, lien I ushered him to the office his eyes lighted up at ght of the refreshment table, and he was the best stomer—bourbon and water with mint—all evening. The last two came together—at least they were on stoop together when I opened the door. I would t)ly have given Adele Bosley the red leather if James hadn’t already copped it. She shook and said she had been wanting to meet Archie l^poodwin for years, but that was just public relations 1 went out the other ear. The point is that from my I get most of a party profile or three-quarters, at the one in the red leather chair fullface, and I like a pview. Not that Adele Bosley was a pin-up, and she i must have been in the fifth or sixth grade when Clara

  22 Sex Stout

  James was born, but her smooth tanned skin and pretty mouth without too much lipstick and nice brown eyes were good scenery.

  Rupert Grove didn’t shake hands, which didn’t upset me. He may have been a good manager for Alberto Mion’s affairs, but not for his own physique. A man can l)e fat and still have integrity, as for instance Falstaff or Nero Wolfe, but that bird had lost all sense of proportion. His legs were short, and it was all in the middle third of him. If you wanted to be polite and look at his face you had to concentrate. I did so, since I needed to size them all up, and saw nothing worthy of recording but a pair of shrewd shifty black eyes.

  When these two were seated and provided with liquid, Wolfe fired the starting gun. He said he was sorry it had been necessary to ask them to exert themselves on a hot evening, but that the question at issue could be answered fairly and equitably only if all concerned had a voice in it. The responding murmurs went all the way from acquiescence to extreme irritation. Judge Arnold said belligerently that there was no question at legal issue because Albert Mion was dead.

  “Nonsense,” Wolfe said curtly. “If that were true, you, a lawyer, wouldn’t have bothered to come. Anyway, the purpose of this meeting is to keep it from becoming a legal issue. Four of you telephoned Mrs. Mion today to ask if I am acting for her, and were told that I am. On her behalf I want to collect the facts. I may as well tell you, without prejudice to her, that she will accept my recommendation. Should I decide that a large sum is due her you may of course contest; but if I form the opinion that she has no claim she will bow to it. Under that responsibility I need all the facts. Therefore —”

  “You’re not a court,” Arnold snapped.

  Curtains for Three 23

  “No, sir, I’m not. If you prefer it in a court you’ll , it.” Wolfe’s eyes moved. “Miss Bosley, would your ttployers welcome that kind of publicity? Dr. Lloyd, I you rather appear as an expert on the witness[ or talk it over here? Mr. Grove, how would your at feel about it if he were alive? Mr. James, what do think? You wouldn’t relish the publicity either, you? Particularly since your daughter’s name ild appear?”

  “Why would her name appear?” James demanded Iliis trained baritone.

  Wolfe turned up a palm. “It would be evidence. It be established that just before you struck Mr. i you said to him, ‘You let my daughter alone, you

  ���vl ‘ n

  I put my hand in my pocket. I have a rule, justified experience, that whenever a killer is among those ent, or may be, a gun must be handy. Not regard the back of the third drawer of my desk, where r are kept, as handy enough, the routine is to trans one to my pocket before guests gather. That was spocket I put my hand in, knowing how cocky James But he didn’t leave his chair. He merely blurted, ;‘s a lie!”

  IWblfe grunted. “Ten people heard you say it. That I indeed be publicity, if you denied it under oath (all ten of them, subpoenaed to testify, contradicted I honestly think it would be better to discuss it i me.” H*What do you want to know?” Judge Arnold de

  |fThe facts. First, the one already moot. When I lie to know it. Mr. Grove, you were present when famous blow was struck. Have I quoted Mr. i correctly?”

  22 Rex Stout

  James was born, but her smooth tanned skin and pretty mouth without too much lipstick and nice brown eyes were good scenery.

  Rupert Grove didn’t shake hands, which didn’t upset me. He may have been a good manager for Alberto Mion’s affairs, but not for his own physique. A man can be fat and still have integrity, as for instance Falstaff or Nero Wolfe, but that bird had lost all sense of proportion. His legs were short, and it was all in the middle third of him. If you wanted to be polite and look at his face you had to concentrate. I did so, since I needed to size them all up, and saw nothing worthy of recording but a pair of shrewd shifty black eyes.

  When these two were seated and provided with liquid, Wolfe fired the starting gun. He said he was sorry it had been necessary to ask them to exert themselves on a hot evening, but that the question at issue could be answered fairly and equitably only if all concerned had a voice in it. The responding murmurs went all the way from acquiescence to extreme irritation. Judge Arnold said belligerently that there was no question at legal issue because Albert Mion was dead.

  “Nonsense,” Wolfe said curtly. “If that were true, you, a lawyer, wouldn’t have bothered to come. Anyway, the purpose of this meeting is to keep it from becoming a legal issue. Four of you telephoned Mrs. Mion today to ask if I am acting for her, and were told that I am. On her behalf I want to collect the facts. I may as well tell you, without prejudice to her, that she will accept my recommendation. Should I decide that a large sum is due her you may of course contest; but if I form the opinion that she has no claim she will bow to it. Under that responsibility I need all the facts. Therefore —”

  “You’re not a court,” Arnold snapped.

  Curtains^ Three

  23

  “No, sir, I’m not. If you prefej. m a court you,u et it.” Wolfe’s eyes moved. “Mislosiey, would your uployers welcome that kind of Pl^ty? dj. Lioyd mild you rather appear as an ex^ on the ^tness

  id or talk it over here? Mr. Gi^ how would your Bent feel about it if he were alive! ^ j^es, what do “>u think? You wouldn’t relish t, pubiicity either> uuld you? Particularly since yo��� daughter’s name ould appear?”

  “Why would her name appeal?’ Jameg demanded

  his trained baritone.

  Wolfe turned up a palm. “It vniy be evidence. It ould be establish
ed that just befo^ yOU struck Mr Son you said to him, Tou let my^ghter aime^ you

  -.tard.’”

  I put my hand in my pocket. I ^ a ^ justified experience, that whenever a % jg f^^g those sent, or may be, a gun must be^y Not rggaj^j. the back of the third drawer fmy ^^ where y are kept, as handy enough, t.h^]Liine ^ ^ trans. one to my pocket before guestej.^^ That wag s pocket I put my hand in, knowi^ cocky Jameg

  - But he didn’t leave his chair. mereiy blurted it’s a lie!”

  Wolfe grunted. “Ten people heq you ^y it rj^ old indeed be publicity, if you 4^ it ^^ oath I all ten of them, subpoenaed to ^ contradicted I honestly think it would bel^ to discuss it me.”

  “What do you want to knowf y^ A^y de inded.

  ‘The facts. First, the one alreadjllnoot ^^^ j Ue like to know it. Mr. Grove, yous^ present when famous blow was struck. j nuoted Mr. lames correctly?”

  24 Rex Stout

  “Yes.” Grove’s voice was a high tenor, which pleased me.

  “You heard him say that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Miss Bosley. Did you?”

  She looked uncomfortable. “Wouldn’t it be better to—”

  “Please. You’re not under oath, but I’m merely collecting facts, and I was told I lied. Did you hear him say that?”

  “Yes, I did.” Adele’s eyes went to James. “I’m sorry, Gif.”

  “But it’s not true!” Clara James cried.

  Wolfe rasped at her, “We’re all lying?”