Darkness at Dawn

by Devin Harnois

“Yes.”

  “And in the morning, you turn—you look human?”

  “Yes.”

  “With the same personality you had before you were infected?” Everson had faced things that seemed to retain some of the memories of their human life. Old comrades that called his name in the dark…

  “Living out here, being what I am—the world we knew destroyed—it changed me. But yes, I’m still the same. In the day I remember who I was.” She wrapped her arms around herself, although the summer morning was warm. Her voice grew softer. “Sometimes I wish they’d eaten me instead of infecting me.”

  Everson took her hand. She looked up at him, her eyes deep with gratitude and longing, with something he felt but couldn’t define. No one had ever looked at him like that. She dropped his hand and looked away. “And sometimes I wish something else would’ve infected me. Something that would’ve taken away my mind so I didn’t remember. It’s so hard to remember what it was like to be human.”

  “How do you go on then?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe I hope things will change. Maybe I’m just afraid of dying.” She looked at him, her expression more guarded. “How do you go on?”

  That was a damn good question. How did any of the humans go on, surrounded by things out of nightmares, struggling to survive in nearly isolated islands of humanity, not knowing when or if the world would belong to them again. “I fight. I kill. That’s all I know how to do now. Every night I kill one or two or a dozen nasties. Maybe I’m not making a dent in the world, but it makes a difference to me.”

  “You didn’t kill me.”

  “I’m off duty at sunrise.”

  “Is that all that stopped you?”

  He cleared his throat. “It’s late. I gotta get back.”

  She gave him a sly, brief smile. “Okay.”

  They didn’t see a single nasty on their way back, and Everson didn’t think that was a coincidence. He might have been suspicious if he hadn’t seen her run off the manticore. The other nasties either saw her or smelled her and stayed the hell out of the way. Jennifer led him back to The Shops and went a block farther with him than she had last time. When they parted ways, she gave him a lingering kiss. “See you tomorrow?” A slight lift at the end made the sentence into a question.

  Everson knew he might be digging his own grave. What would happen if someone found out? “Yeah. I’ll meet you at The Shops.”

  “God dammit, Everson!” The commander slammed his fist on the desk. “You can’t keep doing whatever the hell you please. We need every damn soldier we have, and you can’t keep running around out there past the line, with no AV and no partner.”

  “Yes, sir. Sorry, sir,” Everson muttered.

  The commander made a noise that was part growl, part sigh. “I’d suspend your ass if I didn’t need you tonight.”

  Everson perked up. “Tonight?”

  “We’re starting on another section of the outer wall. We’re clearing out the area.”

  Before constructing a new section of the wall, the soldiers concentrated their efforts in that area, killing and driving out as many nasties as they could. The danger was heightened since buildings in the area were searched, and you never knew when a nasty might be hiding in a closet or a basement. Casualties tripled and infection rates doubled on such operations.

  “So there’s no running off tonight,” the commander continued.

  “Yes, sir.” Which meant his plans with Jennifer just went to shit.

  Chapter Four

  Unlike most of his fellow soldiers, Everson usually slept well the day before a clearing operation. He knew rest was important and let his body and mind relax while his comrades tossed and turned with worry. But not today. He lay awake thinking of Jennifer. He had just committed one of the last true sins in the world. He’d slept with the enemy. The rest of humanity probably didn’t even have a concept of a sin like that. But he’d done it. Followed her through dangerous territory, gone inside a house alone, broken even more rules than he usually did. And he’d done the unimaginable. He’d fucked a nasty. An infectious nasty.

  Everson tucked his arm under his head and stared at the ceiling. Jennifer wasn’t like any other nasty though. She seemed so human. So human and yet so otherworldly at the same time. Dangerous and vulnerable. Dominant and wary.

  He rolled onto his side. Thanks to the operation, he wasn’t going to make the meeting with her the next morning. Even after that, he didn’t think he could get away with staying out as long as he had this morning. He would have to figure out something. Despite how wrong it was, despite knowing if he got caught it might even lead to execution, he still wanted her. One early morning with her wasn’t enough.

  Sleep was hard coming, but it did pull him down eventually.

  “No running off tonight, lieutenant,” Sergeant Graham said.

  “I know, sergeant. Clearing takes priority.” They stood just outside the wall, lining up with the other soldiers. In the distance, they heard gunfire from the evening shift. They must have found a hot spot if they were shooting right up to the end of their shift like that. Someone should be showing up to brief them on the progress any minute.

  “We’ll be doing things by the book.” She gave him a stern look.

  “You were with me on the last clear op. You know I won’t compromise anything.” Everson was fine with people questioning his concern for his own safety, but it got his hackles up when they questioned his concern for his fellow soldiers.

  She looked up at him with a hint of genuine concern. “You’ve been staying out later and later since you had to end Juarez.”

  “I’m not breaking down, if that’s what you mean. Trying to get a little extra payback, that’s all.” He felt a sick twist in his stomach. He’d just lied right to her face.

  “You could still get payback at the line. We could use your help there, Everson.”

  He was spared from replying by the arrival of the soldier sent to brief them. The situation had gotten hot, so the night shift would go to meet the evening shift and make the switch in the middle of combat. The eves had stirred up a nest of crawlers, infectious humanoids that moved around on all fours. Crawlers themselves weren’t so bad in the grand scheme, but they nested like ants or bees, and where you saw one there were usually dozens more nearby.

  Everyone did a last equipment check and followed the eve soldier to the action. The eves had it under control when the nights arrived, but were still all too happy to trade places. Eight hours of clear op was tough work. Just before they took their place, Graham flashed him a smile. “Did I mention I’m your partner for tonight?”

  Then they were facing the crawlers, and all Everson could do was growl his frustration. He didn’t want any more partners. Not even temporary ones.

  Everson fired at the nearest crawler, adding its body to the ones scattered in the former parking lot. The crawlers were coming out of an apartment building, through shattered windows and the destroyed front entrance. Everson wondered if any of the crawlers had once been human occupants of the apartments. Was there a remnant of memory in those deformed heads? He turned slightly left to take out another one.

  A scream came from somewhere off to the right. He didn’t turn to look. The screams and shouts of his fellow soldiers were little more than background noise, unless it was very close. It wasn’t callousness, it was logic. You helped those closest to you, and the others helped those closest to them. You couldn’t help everyone. Sometimes it was all you could do to save yourself. Everson put a few rounds in an approaching crawler, sending spurts of what passed for blood into the air. It looked black through the night vision. The creature screeched and stumbled to a halt. Everson fired again, hitting it in the head. The creature went down.

  Another half hour and the crawlers stopped coming out of the building. Now came the more dangerous task of clearing the building. They would trade in their heavy guns, which Everson always hated to do, for flame throwers. Crawler eggs could survive explosions, buri
ed under rubble or deep inside basements, so the whole building had to be torched, starting with the basement and moving up. When the fire got too dangerous, they would pull back and control it from outside, keeping it burning and contained.

  It went pretty smoothly this time. Everson and Graham were in the basement group, and there were only two crawlers left down there. One that almost got them and another that one of their teammates shot at a distance. They carried handguns with them for just that reason. They burned the eggs and any areas where eggs might be hiding. The smoke got bad even with masks on, and they pulled out. The group got a rest while another team swept the first floor.

  Half the night was taken up with that one apartment building. With a smaller group left behind to watch the fire, the rest of them moved on. The rest of the block was empty and quiet. The next block had a few nasties, but Everson himself didn’t see any action. One more block and they would have cleared the necessary area. Everson took point, moving down the street. Graham, muttering to herself, followed.

  Unlike the horror movies he’d seen, the monster that attacked them didn’t make a sound. The only warning they had was a shout from one of the soldiers several dozen yards behind them. There wasn’t time to react. Everson turned as Graham called out in pain and surprise. She was yanked away from him, her eyes hidden by goggles, her mouth wide open. He saw the creature as it whipped her around like a rag doll. It had a huge body, long snout filled with teeth, eyes glowing orbs in the night vision. A werewolf.

  His gut filled with ice. He’d never seen a werewolf, never heard of one in the area. Not until Jennifer.

  Jennifer.

  She’d said the days belonged to her. But the nights…the nights belonged to the wolf. And here she was, attacking them, tearing into Graham who might already be infected. Everson brought his gun up, but he was too slow. The werewolf turned, dragging Graham across the nearest yard. It was fast, very fucking fast. Everson fired and missed. Fired again and thought he hit it, but he couldn’t be sure. Then it was gone, disappearing between two houses.

  Everson did what he had to. He ran after them. Jennifer belonged to the wolf, and he belonged to the force. To humanity. He would try to save Graham, no matter what the cost.

  Graham was screaming, and he followed the sound, praying her armor would protect her, that he would get there in time. He ran through one yard, across an alley and into another. Running full out, he was vulnerable to any nasty that might be lurking around and had to hope nothing came at him. Graham’s screams rose in pitch. Everson got tangled in some bushes. He lost precious seconds cursing and fighting the branches. Finally out, he stumbled to his knees and looked up.

  The werewolf was across the street, standing on all fours over Graham. The screams had stopped, and she wasn’t moving. The werewolf stared at him, growling. Everson lifted his gun. He had to do this. It didn’t make it hurt any less. At the last second, the creature ran, but this time Everson was fast enough. The werewolf jerked with the impact and kept running. Everson kept firing. The werewolf made it a few more yards and collapsed. Everson still kept firing, unloading his whole clip. He didn’t realize he was yelling until the gun clicked empty and silence came rushing in.

  Panting and shaking, he got to his feet and ran to check Graham. He knelt next to her, feeling more helpless than he had in years. Her chest, her neck…he couldn’t tell what was torn open and what might just be covered in blood. He flipped up his goggles, looking at her in the light of a half-moon. Even if the medics could stop her from dying, there was no saving her. Either infected or dead, Graham was gone. “I’m sorry.” All because he’d let a nasty go.

  Leaving Graham, he went to the werewolf. Risking an attack if it wasn’t dead, he knelt by the body. It didn’t move. “Jennifer.” With hot despair in his gut and hot tears running down his face, he touched the canine head. Any soldier coming to help would think he was confirming the kill, that his tears were for Graham alone. “Jennifer.” It was all he could say. The fur began to thin. He’d heard from reports that once dead a werewolf returned to human form. In a moment this thing would be Jennifer, mangled by the bullets he’d put in her.

  The moon gave enough light to see by, but it was still too dark to see much detail. Everson squinted at the transforming figure. The werewolf had fallen stomach down, its head turned to the side. He would be able to see Jennifer’s face when she was fully human. But something was wrong. Even in the moonlight, the hair appearing on the werewolf’s head was too dark. And short. And the angles on the face were wrong. Was it just part of the transformation?

  Shouts and running footsteps came toward him. Everson kept his eyes on the creature. Blood soaked into the grass, into the knees of his pants. The werewolf was fully human now. It was a man with short dark hair and broad shoulders. Not Jennifer at all.

  Not Jennifer.

  Everson got to his feet, confusion turning into a wave of relief. It wasn’t her. He hadn’t killed Jennifer, and Jennifer hadn’t killed Graham. Graham. Everson turned to find two soldiers kneeling beside Graham’s limp body. One touched her gently, turning her head a little, while the other spoke into his com. Everson walked toward them.

  A third soldier rushed toward him. “Kill confirmed?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” Everson said.

  The soldier nodded and took up a watch position.

  Everson reached Graham and stood over her.

  “Your partner?” the soldier near her head asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry. She was dead when we got here.”

  “Let me take her.” The other soldiers made no protest, so Everson leaned down and picked Graham up. He settled her over his shoulder and started back for the base.

  They burned her body outside the gate, and her ashes were brought inside the city. Everson changed out of his blood-soaked armor and into a clean set. As he was leaving, an officer stopped him. “Where are you going?”

  “Back out.”

  “Your shift’s almost over. You might as well stay here. Take the extra hour and relax.”

  Everson shook his head. “I want to go back out. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  “You’re going to work yourself to death, Everson.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe so.” He got into the AV and fired it up. All he wanted to do was see Jennifer, touch her, reassure himself she was all right. He took his normal route out to the line, avoiding the group still clearing the area off to the east. There had never been enough soldiers to cover the whole line, and during clearing missions there weren’t more than a handful of people left to guard the edge of the third ring. Everson saw no one as he crossed the line.

  The first pale hints of dawn were lighting the sky as he neared The Shops. He pulled over at his usual spot and got out to wait. He strained his ears, listening for the sound of her approach. It seemed a long, long time before he heard a soft crunch, something stepping on branches or debris. The back door opened, squealing on rusty hinges. His heart sped up. A moment later, the familiar sounds of shuffling and whining came from the upstairs window.

  Everson glanced around, making sure the street was still empty before fixing his eyes on the window. The waiting went on, too long it seemed, but it might have only been his impatience. Jennifer finally appeared in the window, smiling. Her smile faded and she tilted her head. “What’s wrong, Richard?”

  “Come down here.”

  She frowned at him before disappearing. Within seconds she was jogging toward him through the alley, loping might have been a better word. It struck him again how beautiful she was, and how inhuman.

  “What’s wrong?” she repeated as she crossed the street.

  Words caught in his throat and he only stood there, lifting his arms when she was close. He wrapped her in his arms, breathing in the smell of her. “Jennifer.” His voice was rough. He’d distanced himself, first from what was left of the city’s population, then from his fellow soldiers. It was too hard to keep watching people you
cared for die, especially partners. Everson was lucky the commander had let him go against the rules, go out on his own. Things were much easier when you had no one to lose. Tonight’s events had reinforced that with losing Graham and thinking he’d lost Jennifer.

  Knowing Jennifer was alive though, that she was here with him, warm and safe…he considered there were things that might be worth the risk. It was so ironic that it took a nasty to show him how to care again. The moment he’d thought the werewolf was Jennifer, that he would have to kill her, he’d realized that he did care about her. It was more than the so-very-wrong attraction they shared. He wanted to keep seeing her, talking to her. He wanted Jennifer in his life.

  “I thought I killed you,” he said.

  She looked up at him. “What?”

  “Tonight, I killed a werewolf. I thought he was you.”

  She took a step back, frowning. “You killed a werewolf?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you…did you see him after he died? After he changed?”

  “Did you know him?” Everson asked. He hadn’t thought about it, but it made sense. Werewolves were rumored to be territorial, so Jennifer should know the others in the area, whether friend or foe.

  “Tell me what he looked like.” She was anxious. Had he killed a friend of hers?

  “I didn’t get a good look at his face. He had short dark hair and broad shoulders—”

  Her shoulders sagged and she looked down. “Oscar.”

  “I—I’m sorry.”

  She looked back up, gripping his arm. “No—no, it’s not like that. I came here to get away from him. He’s—he was my alpha. My leader. And now he’s dead.” Jennifer’s eyes went distant for a moment before focusing back on him. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me. I thought it was you. I thought I’d killed you.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” She touched his cheek. “I’m fine. You’re fine. And he’s dead.”

  “Jennifer…what we’re doing, it’s wrong,” he said. Her expression shifted, and so did her posture. Now she was wary.