Universal Mass

by Coleinger, Ronnie

  A knock on the door of the bedroom and Bonnie’s voice asking if they were okay brought on a case of the giggled from Jenna. Randy spoke up and said, “Bonnie, we will be out in a few minutes. We need just a few more minutes, please.” They heard Bonnie say, “Oh. Sorry to bother you. We are making popcorn and apple cider. I just wanted to invite you and Jenna to join us.” Randy said, “Thanks Bonnie. We will join you shortly.” They heard giggles from Bonnie and footsteps as she headed back towards the mineshaft. Jenna finally managed to calm her own giggling and said, “I think our private getaway has been compromised. We may have to act very embarrassed and let Bonnie think she caught us having sex here in this bedroom. Randy laughed and said, “Or we could just do it before we return to the mine and then we would not have to lie.” Jenna stood up, walked over to her husband and slid her hands down the front of his pants. When he pulled her close and slid his hands under her dress, he soon discovered she was quite ready to make love to him.

  After they climbed back up the ladder and closed the cellar door, they took the time to make certain the boards were in their proper place, Randy said, “I have always intended to install an airtight hatch like they use in submarines as a permanent door. That would make it fireproof and thief proof. I purchased the door a couple years ago, but I just never got around to the installation. Maybe you and I can install the door this winter.”

  Before they unlocked the door, Jenna pulled Randy into her arms and said, “We need to hide away from the others and make love more often. The hayloft in the barn would work. That is where Robert and Kathy sneak off to when the rest of us are busy with our own tasks, or before we wake up in the mornings.” Randy laughed and said, “And you came by that bit of information, how?” Jenna laughed and said, “The conversation came up between Britney, Bonnie, Kathy and I while you guys were out scouting the property for oversized animals. I was not snooping on them!” Randy kissed Jenna and said, “I would like to spend more private time with you. We might have to work up a Gantt chart with the others to schedule love making time.” Jenna swatted Randy on the butt and said, “I would not want the others to know what you and I were doing.” Randy laughed and said, “I suspect they have a pretty good idea; especially since Bonnie just caught us in the act.” Jenna’s cheeks turned bright red and Randy said, “There you now look adequately embarrassed. We can now join the others.”

  When Randy and Jenna stepped into the mineshaft with the others, everyone looked up at them, but no one made any comment about their activities and Bonnie did not let on that she had discovered their reason for sneaking off. When they sat down, Timothy carried a large bowl of popcorn over to them and sat it down on the coffee table. He then used his hands to scoop out two bowls of popcorn and then handed one to each of his parents. Then he picked up the bowl and carried it to Britney, who filled her bowl and kissed him on the cheek. By that time, the bowl was almost empty and he climbed up between his mother and father and began eating the remaining popcorn. As Randy talked to his son about what he did all day, Timothy looked up his father and said, “Robert made me help clean out the barn. I told him I was too small and much too tired to help, but he made me do it anyways.” Randy looked up at Robert, smiled and then said to Timothy, “I think it is good that Robert trusted you to help him care for the animals. When he asks you to help him, it means he thinks you are old enough to begin doing a man’s work. I also think you are old enough to help with the chores. Besides, the animals like to have clean pens and they like to have you talk to them. I know it is a smelly job, but remember that at some time, all of us need to have help keeping clean. All of us changed your diapers and helped you take a bath when you were little, and we did not mind one bit.” Timothy thought about his father’s words for a minute or two and then said, “I will help with the animals if you think it is best, Father.” Everyone heard a giggle from Britney. Then she looked at Timothy and said, “I think you are almost all grown up, Timothy. You will be helping with all the chores in another year or so.” Everyone could tell that Britney wished she had not laughed at that exact moment. As Timothy walked away, Britney spoke to Randy and said, “I did not mean to weaken the lesson you were teaching your son.” I just laughed over his grown up words.” Randy smiled at her and said, “No harm done.”

  After they put the boys to bed, the adults met up at the kitchen table to discuss building more growing beds in the living area. Robert said, “We seem to be out of cedar to build the beds, I guess we either need to cut some from the forest and try to dry it, or purchase enough wood to build the next batch of growing beds.” Bonnie said, “We have almost depleted the money we all pooled together when we moved here to the Mountain House, so I guess we should figure out a way to build a kiln and dry our own lumber.” As they talked, Randy said, “I like the idea of building a kiln to dry our wood, but we need to get the growing boxes built and the plants sprouted before the return of winter reduces the amount of sunlight. I have some cash stashed away that we can use for this project.”

  When they make the decision to take the trucks into town and purchase the cedar lumber they needed, Kathy said, “I will stay with the boys so you don’t have to deal with them, since I only have one working arm.” Britney laughed and said, “You missed out on the last trip into the city. I am willing to stay with the boys if you would like some time away from the Mountain House.” Kathy walked up to Britney and said, “I actually want you to go with the others. You seem very depressed lately and I would like you to spend some quality time in the city.” Britney giggled and said, “Are you trying to get me laid?” Kathy blushed but said, “I will send a couple condoms with you if you think you might get lucky.” It then was Britney’s turn to blush. Rodney said, “We can take an extra truck in case Britney needs to drive one home when she finishes taking care of her man business.” Britney turned and said, “Father, you are embarrassing me.” Rodney opened his wallet and handed his daughter a condom. She laughed at his gesture, but slipped the package into her shirt pocket. Bonnie giggled and said, “You have always brought home handsome, well-bred men, don’t let us down with the next one.” Britney hugged her mother and said, “I am certain I will never find another man as kind and loving as James, but I will try.” Bonnie said, “A woman’s first true love will always reside within her heart. I am certain you will have memories of James throughout your lifetime. Just remember that James would have wanted you and Donald to be happy. A man to warm your bed and be a good father to your son will also make your clan happy.”

  When they woke in the morning, the sun was just rising over the mountains. Timothy had walked out to the large windows in the living area, but he soon came back into the mineshaft yelling something about the sun looking funny. When some of the clan went out to check, they realized that the sun was in partial eclipse. Randy took hold of Timothy’s shoulders and turned him around so he could not look at the sun, then he told him that the sun would burn his eyes and blind him. Randy said, “Let me get the welding helmets from the garage and then we can all take turns looking at the solar eclipse.”

  When Randy returned, he looked though the tinted glass on the welding helmet and then put it over Timothy’s head. He wiped the glass clean on the second helmet and passed it to Bonnie who was standing close to him. As each of them took turns looking through the helmets, the shadow on the sun moved off. When Timothy handed the welding helmet back to Randy, he said, “That was neat,” then he asked, “When will the sun eclipse again?” Randy explained that he did not know when the event would happen again, but they could look it up the next time they were near the library in town.

  As they loaded up and headed out the driveway, Britney leaned out of the truck window and waved goodbye to Timothy, Donald and Kathy who were standing on the porch. As Britney watched them out the rear window, the three of them turned and walked back inside to the safety of the Mountain House.

  When they turned south onto the main highway, they only drove a mile or so before discovering
that the power company bucket trucks were working on the power lines. Randy stopped and asked one of the men what they were doing and he explained that they were opening the primary disconnect switches feeding the transformers on each power pole. Their intent was to insure they had disconnected every customer from the power lines before they tried to reenergize the lines. The foreman explained that they intended to make contact with each homeowner and connect power to those who wanted it by the end of the week.

  As they continued down the highway, Britney said, “If we were to purchase more of the growing light bulbs and a few more lamps, we could give our plants more light and possibly increase our vegetable harvest to a level that would easily sustain us.” Randy thought about her suggestion a moment and said, “I have adequate funds to pay for the power bills each month to keep the lights on for a few hours each day. If we did not have to purchase any vegetables and could grow enough oats to make bread, we could save a bundle of money. We are already self-sufficient with our meat harvests. We could grow the oats in the loft by building four foot by eight-foot beds and putting in just enough soil to support the root system. Quite likely two inches of soil would be sufficient if we used the waste from our animals for fertilizer. We built the loft strong enough to support the weight.”

  When they arrived in town, they headed straight for the lumberyard. They found enough cedar to build the growing beds in the lower part of the living area, but not enough to build the ones in the loft. They finally decided to purchase pressure treated lumber and use it downstairs since it was much heavier and then use some of the lightweight cedar in the loft.

  Once the lumber was loaded, the trucks were almost overloaded. They made a trip to the hardware store to purchase screws, nails, plastic and a few other building supplies for the growing beds. As they looked around the store, they soon discovered three full and one already opened, twenty-four pack cases of grow light bulbs. The bulbs were the fluorescent style lamps and Randy realized he did not have enough lights around the Mountain House in that style. As they discussed the fixtures needed to operate the fluorescent light bulbs, Robert said, “I think we should take down the twenty or so fixtures in my garage and use them at the Mountain House. I do not intend to connect power to the farm in the near future, so I certainly will not need the light. There is plenty of 12-2 romex wire on rolls that we could use to safely wire them so we would not have any large installation expense.”

  When they left the hardware store, they headed down to the gun shop to pick up some ammunition they had ordered. When they walked in the front door of the shop, four police officers were standing around the counter talking to the owner. Randy, Rodney and Robert spoke to them and the owner of the store before walking to a shelf to pick out some small caliber .22 long rifle shells. The police were quizzing the gun owner about gun purchases made by local residents. They seemed intent on discovering the names and addresses of the gunsmith’s customers. The guys hoped that the officers did not realize that they had already purchased four rifles and two pistols from the gun shop. The gunsmith had also made numerous repairs and modifications to the rifles and pistols they owned. After spending a few more minutes looking at a scope for one of their rifles, they carried the ammunition and scope to the counter. They waited patiently for the owner to excuse himself from the police officers and wait on them. The owner documented the ammunition purchases, which was now mandatory in the state and wrote down the driver’s license number he copied from the license Randy handed him. After Randy paid the man, they carried their purchases out the front door, wishing the officers a good day as they left.

  The men had no more than opened the truck door when two of the officers approached them and requested to see their identification and the registration for the truck. The guys complied but all three questioned the reason for the request. The police ignored them; simply asking more questions about where their residences were located, exactly. After a few minutes, the police handed the documents back to the men and loaded up into their two patrol cars. As the police drove down the street, the men all returned to the gun shop to pick up the ammunition they had ordered. When they stepped inside, the owner said, “I am sorry about the police pestering you, but they are intent on finding those who possess weapons. They seem to feel it is their right to locate and confiscate all of the guns in the county. During a traffic stop the other day, here in town, the officers said a resident did not properly come to a complete stop at a stop sign. They wrote him a ticket and confiscated all three of the unloaded, cased rifles he had in his truck. They said he would get them back in due time. The man still has not gotten his guns back and figures he never will.”

  After the guys paid for the ammunition, they headed towards the front door to return to the Mountain House. It was then that they realized that the police officers had returned. They had parked their patrol cars, one in front, and one behind the truck, blocking the vehicle in place. The guys had done nothing wrong and decided to confront the officers if that is what they wanted. As they carried their ammo to the truck, the officers got out and stood in front of the passenger side doors blocking Randy’s access. Randy said, “Officer, you are blocking my truck. Please step aside so I can place my purchases inside.” The officer stepped up to within a few inches of Randy’s face and said, “You, little man, don’t tell me what to do, I tell you.” He poked his finger into Randy’s chest and then did it a second time. Randy stepped back a couple of feet and said, “I suggest you refrain from poking me. You have no right to touch me. If you insist on doing it again, I will make certain you never forget your actions.” The officer reached out to push Randy, but Randy stepped sideways and watched the officer fall onto his face in the grass. Randy walked over to the hood of the truck and placed the boxes of ammunition where it was safe and then turned to face the officer. The man’s partner made a lurch towards Randy, but he somehow tripped over Rodney’s foot as he passed.

  While Randy dealt with the first two officers, one of the remaining officers reached for his billy club. Robert stepped up in front of the two men and said, “If you remove that club from your belt, I will personally stick it up your ass.” The officer started to move forward, but his partner grabbed his arm and restrained him. The officers both looked around them only to see about fifty of Hillsburg’s citizens approaching them, led by some men in sports uniforms carrying baseball bats. They had been playing a softball game and saw the police again confronting law-abiding citizens. They were quite prepared to confront the officers if necessary.

  Within a minute, it seemed they had settled the matter and the four police officers loaded up into their patrol cars and drove off. Everyone knew things with the police were just beginning. Their damaged pride would force them to return for a confrontation when they thought they had the advantage. As the crowd moved on, the guys loaded up and returned to the gas station to meet the girls for the trip home.

  After they had filled the trucks with gasoline, they headed up the road towards the Mountain House. The guys hoped that the police would not try any shenanigans on the highway, but they were quite willing to battle it out if necessary. The four officers were not doing their job; they were simply being bullies and abusing their power. They were a disgrace to the rest of the city’s top-notch police force.

  When they arrived at the cabin, Randy backed the first truck up to the porch door. They all worked together to carry the lumber into the living area and stack it out of the way. When they had the last truck emptied, Britney giggled and said, “I have a telephone date to take care of, if you will all excuse me.” The guys looked at each other; each man had their own mental interpretation of what a telephone date might entail, none wanting to comment on their thoughts. Jenna laughed and said, “Give it up guys. She said phone date, not phone sex. Get your male minds out of the gutter.”

  The clan fed the animals and then settled in for the night. Randy hoped to check his circuit breaker panel in the morning to see if the power company had turned on his
power. He was certain they had. Earlier today, when they turned onto the road leading to the Mountain House, he could see that the lineman had installed the fuses at the transformer. Randy hoped to turn on enough power to run a few lights and run the radio. They had little need for any more power than that. They were managing nicely with the wood stoves and composting toilets. They did not need the well pump for water and they were managing quite nicely without the washer and dryer. Randy hoped to keep the electric bill as low as possible, but understood that the other clan members might want to utilize more electricity later on.

  After they ate and cleaned up the dishes, they perked some coffee and all settled into their chairs to relax for a while. In the evenings, they often turned on Britney’s radio and listened to the local radio station. Five nights a week, the station broadcast a two-hour news program where they highlighted the local and world news. The world was slowly recovering from the resizing. Many factories and manufacturing plants were gearing up to mass produce products sized correctly for the New World Population. The scientists had begun using that label, New World Population, to describe all animals living on planet Earth, which included humans. One reporter reminded its listeners that scientists divided the world of living things into two groups: animals or plants. If something used sunlight for its energy source and could not move around on its own, the scientists considered it a plant. If a creature moved about on its own and ate other living things for its source of energy, the scientists considered it an animal. Since only animals suffered from the resizing event, many plants seemed gigantic in proportion to humans. One must remember that one green bean could easily feed a human for their evening meal.