The Queen's Curse

by Hellenthal, Natasja

  That startled Artride and she frowned, shaking her head, saying, ‘Of course there wouldn’t be for that is my desire.’

  ‘No, I am reading the truth now.’

  ‘What? What truth; that there is no curse right now?’

  Shanta only smiled oddly. ‘There is only one truth really.’

  ‘But if that is so; we can go home.’ She wanted to stand.

  ‘I am telling you how it is and already … was, according to my reading.’

  ‘Already was? What are you suggesting; that there never was a curse? You are a bit vague about what it is you are exactly doing.’

  Tirsa stared at Artride who was getting more than upset. Why?

  ‘Please do not ask questions or disturb me, or I will loose contact,’ Shanta explained drowsily.

  You have kept it hidden from everyone. You have many secrets.’

  That is the truth. Tirsa had to admit, and no desire.

  ‘You have conflicting needs between privacy and passion. You want to truly rule and experience true power. But on the other hand you want to run away and to be left alone. Since the first is no option your true quest is to explore Dochas and find a suitable place to make your home and leave your worries behind. You have taken courses in how to build your own house, how to stay alive in the wilderness, how to cultivate a small piece of land and care for it and so on. You hired Tirsa to protect and guide you until you have found your new home, after that you plan to cleverly set up your own death; so that your people believe you had an accident. Only then you presume you will be entirely free; free of the book, free of worries and free of your people.’

  Artride raised one eyebrow and her mouth had slowly fallen open with each new claim. She swallowed hard and suddenly shook her head violently with wide-open eyes. ‘This is nonsense! It is my desire, sort of, I admit, but nothing more, you make it sound as if it’s the truth!’ Artride almost yelled and shot fierce glances from Shanta to Tirsa, who had a questioning look in her eyes. It is only half-true! Artride thought in despair.

  Tirsa’s mind was raging. Could this be the truth after all and not a desire? A Woodchild is always telling the truth when it comes to Truthtelling, or whatever this is; hidden desires, hidden truths – only separated from one another until they are carried out. There was no curse in the first place, that could be a desire and Artride escaping to find a safe haven … well she did show some signs of wanting to leave the weight of the responsibility behind, but who would not, considering what she was going through? Nevertheless, she did not really plan to do this all ahead, did she? Maybe it became useful I came along … No … It can’t be true, can it? Moreover, if there is no curse and she would want to rule, why would she still want to run away? She is entitled to have her own heart’s desires, even if she lied to me. It is her second nature, she told me … perhaps warned me.

  ‘This is what my inner voice tells, Artride, as for you Tirsa–’

  ‘Hold on,’ Artride snapped. ‘To run away is perhaps my desire, but you are making it sound like I planned it for real. There is a big difference in that. I know what it is, but tell me what you are doing. You said you would tell us our desires and then all of a sudden, you are mixing truth with fiction. That means you have been lying to us or mixing things up, which is very confusing. Do we have to guess what is what ourselves?’

  ‘I am already focusing on Tirsa, for this is taking a lot of energy,’ Shanta dryly announced.

  Artride and Tirsa exchanged a quick alarmed glance; not knowing what to think.

  ‘Tirsa … your life is burdened with many losses,’ Truth. Artride thought. ‘Your whole life is a struggle, focused on revenge; trying to win back your happiness …You are not really what people think you are. Outsiders only see what they want to see. Secrets again …

  All true. Tirsa thought. And no desires there …

  ‘The one that matters now is that you have your mind on something else other than this quest of the queen … Your imprisoned brother’s life, you figured, will most likely be spared if the queen is dead and buried. You have never believed in a curse. You believe it is just a lie, like the rest and the true mission of the queen is to run away.’ Shanta looked up and added, ‘Well, seems that you were right about that, Tirsa.’

  Tirsa’s face was white as a blanket, shaking her head with a defiant look. No.

  ‘Shanta,’ Artride started to say in an uneasy voice, but the girl smiled and looked happily at the waterfall which was indeed slowly defrosting in answer to the women’s hearts’ desires; water was dripping from the solid ice and underneath, melting slowly, drop by drop.

  ‘It works! It actually works!’ Shanta shouted out in pure joy and she jumped up and down, dancing in circles. Her joy would have affected the two women, were it not for the things she had said about them; which were not only desires at all, but some sort of deception. Because both of them knew at least some of it to be true of their own reading, and some of it to be a vague thought or desire. Desires or truth, they were more focused on the other; how much of what Shanta told was true, and what was not? Artride knew her desire was to flee and the thought indeed had crossed her mind countless times … until Tirsa came along. And yes Tirsa had thought about killing the queen when she heard about the death sentence of her brother … until she met her in person and learned about the curse story; which she indeed didn’t believe in the beginning, thinking it was another excuse of the queen; however, it was only at that moment, and at that moment alone. But still … it had been true …

  ‘Well, this proves that it was our desires after all,’ Artride conceded, slightly irritated by Shanta who entirely ignored them. In addition, her eyes crossed those of Tirsa. Is it actually your desire to kill me then? Did you think I lied to you? she thought while Tirsa was thinking: could you really set up your own death and vanish on me? Moreover; could you abandon your people and allow this cruelty to continue, without trying the last hope we have? Could you be such a coward?

  They both felt betrayed and disappointed, and Tirsa felt rage building up inside of her; heating her body, making her heart beat angrily; making her want to jump on her and hit her so hard she would bleed, suffer. Her heart was beating faster still and her blood was boiling, coiling her fists, ignoring the nonchalant laughter of Shanta who was running in and out of the defrosting waterfall that had come to life again, and now was roaring and rumbling.

  ‘Tirsa, we have to talk this through–’

  ‘No,’ she answered solidly through gritted teeth, and stood.

  ‘No more lies, no more talking … no more!’ Moreover, she wished she had a sword or at least a knife, and while she wished it, in the corner of her eye she spotted a knife glittering in the sun, shining on the surface of the pool below the noisy waterfall. Without thinking, she picked it up in one movement and the next she stood before Artride threatening her with the knife. Visibly she was shocked, sitting and staring at Tirsa with wide-open eyes. So it is true, completely? Where did she get the knife from anyway? She must have it hidden from me all along …

  ‘Tirsa, for crying out loud, you are not yourself. Put away that knife … please.’ She began to fear and she showed it.

  The bodyguard threw her head backwards and started laughing madly. Artride had never seen her like this before. ‘All of these things she said that mattered were desires, yes, but only some of it is true, all of what I told you! You must know that!’ she pointed out critically.

  ‘No,’ Tirsa answered grimly. ‘She was telling the truth if you think about it. A Woodchild doesn’t lie and after all she is a Truthteller.’ And she smiled wickedly and peered around.

  ‘You were actually going to stay here, weren’t you?’

  ‘No, Tirsa. Why can’t it be possible she is lying?’

  ‘Because when she focused on me … what she told about me was all true.’

  Artride’s face showed signs of shock and disappointment, and that hurt Tirsa. ‘It was? You truly want to kill me?’ she saw the oth
er woman swallow and turn her face away in shame.

  ‘I can do this quest alone. I don’t need you or anyone,’ she softly responded, keeping her voice plain and louder, ‘I shall succeed.’ She suddenly stepped towards the queen with the sharp blade of the knife pointed at her throat, breathing heavily, her eyes filling with tears. ‘Why?’ Her voice was breaking up halfway.

  ‘If you seriously believe she was telling the complete truth about you, not a mixture; you also believe there is no curse, so why would you continue this journey?’

  ‘I will go back alone and have my brother released! You will have no power over him or anyone anymore! You are cunning, but vicious!’

  ‘I never had any power, you know that,’ she stated calmly, but clearly affected by Tirsa’s words; her eyes were big and watery.

  ‘You have been lying! There never was a curse; it was just an excuse to make me care! I understand now. I was an easy target; perfect to come along and protect you deep into this land. You have been playing with me. Well, you got what you wanted. You stay here to settle down and do not ever come back. I will tell “your people” you are dead, like you desire; but stay out of my sight from now on.’

  The shocked pale queen shook her head slowly; her face still so friendly and understanding, although stunned; Tirsa almost could not bare it.

  ‘I am sorry I was not honest with you about my desire for freedom to run away, but I am now,’ she tried to explain. ‘You have to believe me. There is a curse, Tirsa. Moreover, this escaping thing of mine was never a real plan; it was nothing more than a crazy idea; a desire if you like from a confused frustrated mind, no more than that. I have been desperate, so very desperate. I am telling you the absolute truth. You have to believe me, trust me, like I trusted you.’

  Tirsa glanced at Shanta, who was still dancing in and around the waterfall.

  ‘She must have told us partly truths and partly desires; like she said she would. She did not lie, Tirsa, even though she made it look like it was the truth, all of it. We had to guess and she might have interpreted a few things along the way; the worse thing a Truthteller can do. Doing this she set us up against one another and I don’t know why; but I have to admit it was cleverly done. There is a big difference between a dream, a desire so to speak, and actually acting upon it, pursuing it.’ She got up, ignoring Tirsa and her knife, and walked towards the Woodchild.

  ‘Shanta, can I have a word with you?’

  ‘It worked, it really worked!’ she cried beyond happiness, all wet and her green skin shiny. A soft breeze caught her wet hair, flicking it across her face.

  ‘And I am happy for you, Shanta; you said you would be more than grateful, so please listen to me!’

  The girl stopped moving and stepped towards her, smiling broadly, her wet blue hair clenched to her green scalp. ‘Sorry, I got carried away. What is it?’

  ‘You have to be honest with us, you owe us this much; what did you see; our past or present desires or what we actually were going to do?’ Tirsa stepped forward, eavesdropping on the conversation.

  The girl got a little annoyed and shook her shoulders lightly, avoiding her eyes. ‘I told everything, I am sorry. I am a Truthteller and told not only the desires, but the rest as well.’

  ‘The rest?’

  ‘Yes, you know, all of that was inside you or has been; dreams and desires, hopes and reality.’

  ‘In the past, right; however, you forgot to mention which of it were the dreams and which was reality. It upset us both, so perhaps you can still tell us correctly, instead of half-truths. You do owe us this much.’

  Shanta shook her head, avoiding the queen’s eyes. ‘I cannot, not now, it took me already so much energy and–’

  ‘But you could jump up and down, and sing and yell just now!’ Tirsa called out upset. Shanta stepped back to the waterfall and kneeled, cupped her hands and scooped her hands with fresh, clear, cool ice-cold water. ‘Want some?’ she said through big gulps.

  ‘No, Shanta. You know what I want.’

  ‘What is said is said, I cannot change that.’ She stood, smiling. ‘Thank you for your help, both of you,’ and she also looked over the queen’s shoulders towards a mocking Tirsa, and before the queen realized it she stepped through the waterfall and disappeared.

  ‘Wait a minute!’ she shouted, but her voice could not reach the same level of the roaring rushing water.

  ‘Damn you!’ and Artride kicked with one foot angrily at the water and a wave splashed up, leaving her upper right leg, and the dirty black breeches and boots, wet and cold. She sighed and waited a moment before going back to her companion.

  ‘Did you hear what she said, Tirsa?’

  ‘Yes, I did and I believe her, she has mixed up everything,’ she said grimly. ‘But I keep thinking about what you said earlier; that she could be lured by the sorceress and ordered to do this; making her own version of it all fed by our past desires. When she didn’t find what she wanted she started telling truths as well, making up her own interpretation of it all, so she would get her waterfall back. I do think the sorceress froze it and perhaps promised to defrost it if we or other humans went along with helping her. Like her … we are victims. If she is able to kidnap Woodchildren, she might be able to make them do this much.’

  Tirsa stared at the knife with its pure, almost, white iron blade and in a flare of rage she threw it at the waterfall.

  ‘I can see it clearly now; we have been tricked,’ she softly said. ‘Maybe by Shanta, but more likely by the sorceress. This is, after all, her domain, and why would she let Shanta have her little valley, other than have her promise to lure whoever comes here?’ and she bit her lower lip, still avoiding the queen’s eyes. ‘I believe she did this to set us up; to make us hate each other perhaps, but either way she knows us better now. That is her advantage. Knowledge is power. She can somehow make use of that when we near her home, that much is true.’

  Artride sat down beside her on a broad rock at the pool, and sighed, distressed.

  They were silent for a while before Tirsa asked in a serious tone, ‘Can you forgive me?’

  ‘I already have. I almost believed what she said about you as well.’

  ‘I could never kill you, even if I did want to.’

  ‘You wanted to before?’ she curiously asked.

  ‘Only before I met you, yes. I reckon that it was my past desire. I thought it would solve my problems, as I always believed killing would. It was just a thought, never a plan, you have to believe me on that. Things have changed. I should have been wiser. I am sorry.’

  ‘And I am sorry for the weak fool I have been. However, I do not have this feeling of wanting to leave it all behind anymore. That has passed too. I will fight the bastards. Never let them win again!’

  ‘I should have listened to you and left this valley at once. I should have known not to trust anyone here.’

  ‘Well, I went along with it. We just made the wrong choice,’ Artride said calmly.

  ‘But still, I guess it’s because I thought I knew Woodchildren. For a stupid moment I forgot we are in Dochas.’ She rubbed her forehead.

  ‘Do not forget it again, Tirsa, we have to be alert, avoid any contact from now on.’

  ‘But we still don’t know where the sorceress lives. How will we know where to look if we cannot ask for aid?’

  Artride shook her weary head and pulled off her boots. ‘I have a feeling we do not have to worry about that. If she does all the effort in slowing us down, teasing us and getting to know us, perhaps through her little Woodchildren guards, or whatever they are to her, instead of making us turn back or kill us, she must somehow want us to come closer. Do not forget that we are the first in decades, maybe longer, that advantage have gotten us this far.’

  ‘So, we will just have to wait for a next challenge or sign that we are getting closer to her?’

  ‘Precisely.’

  ‘But what if her whole domain is full of wards? We might as well be heading in the wr
ong direction. I do not think this was so threateningly dangerous. We were still able to think clearly, however confusing it was. I should think the more dangerous it is, the closer we get.’

  ‘If we were about to kill each other just now, what will be next?’

  Tirsa glanced up at her, upset, but saw she was smiling and quickly turned her head; relieved she was not serious.

  ‘We will just have to search the entire country for her and we will have to do it fast to be in time.’

  Tirsa nodded at that, her brother was never far off her mind, and watched the queen walk towards the inviting pool and undressing herself. ‘Time for a bath first, don’t you think?’

  CHAPTER 12

  MEMORIES

  Memories, never dying; only fade

  In time…

  Feelings, however never fade

  To the heart time does not exist, never has and never will

  To the heart it is clear what it has lost

  She found out that next to the cool pond there was a small deep hot water source, bubbling, sizzling and steaming.

  ‘You should try this, it’s warm!’ she called out while she tried the water with one foot first. She judged it to be just fine and let herself slide in. The hot, pure liquid closed around and welcomed her. It was just bearable; not too hot, but enough to let the dirt soak off her body and thaw her out.

  ‘You have a bath first; I will wait and guard the place,’ she heard Tirsa call from behind the bushes.

  ‘Alright.’

  ‘Just shout if you notice anything unusual!’

  ‘Life is about taking risks,’ Artride mumbled, trying to clear her mind, while the water already did so much without any effort from her. She lay back in the bath, relishing the warmth within and without, letting her mind drift where it would.