‘How will we be able to see in there?’ Artride asked.
‘I honestly don’t know. I am more concerned right now whether we will be able to squeeze our bodies through this tiny hole at all.’
Artride kneeled down beside her and looked discouraged at the opening, which was indeed nothing more than a narrow slit in the rocks. But now that they had finally found the home of the sorceress they were both too determined to let themselves be bothered by such a minor detail.
‘We will just have to make our way and follow our nose.’ And Artride crawled on her hands and knees, sticking her head in the dark. ‘Let me go first, Artride. If everything looks alright I will call you and then you can follow.’
‘If you think it’s better that way –’
‘I do.’ Tirsa crawled beside her, pushing her aside a little to stick her head and shoulders in, which was the hardest part; then trying to shove her hips through she got stuck, and in her effort she felt the stone rubbing painfully through the cloth on her skin. Artride had an urge to push her, but hesitated, for it meant she had to touch her bottom. So she kept the necessary distance, although no Ceartasian, or for that matter, Law Book, would be able to see and judge them right now, and she was unsure how Tirsa would react if she suddenly touched her firm backside. But she seemed to manage on her own; stretching her athletic legs backwards, squeezing her hips and pulling herself up on her arms, she shoved herself inside.
‘It’s very narrow, but it does go further.’ Her voice sounded muffled. ‘I do hope we are not tricked and are crawling our way right into the den of some hungry beast waiting for us. Let me go ahead for a while.’
She disappeared into the darkness, the vertical start of the cave rounding to the right, so she had to crawl, feeling like a worm. ‘It is pitch dark in here!’ she called moaning and grunting with effort.
‘And still not any wider?’
‘No changes, but it is getting colder!’ Tirsa sounded further away now.
‘Kasching didn’t mention the cave being petite!’ Artride shouted towards her, and to herself she muttered when she got no reaction, ‘I hope this sorceress hasn’t shrunk herself to the size of a mouse or something ridiculous. But why would she? And then again why would she not? ‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ she mumbled to herself.
‘Artride?’ It sounded very far away.
‘Yes?’
‘I have more space now; about a foot either side of me and it still goes further and pretty much horizontal. I will crawl back to guide you.’ And she did, backwards.
‘Hold on to my foot, that way we won’t lose each other in the dark.’ She sounded closer, and yes, her foot appeared.
‘Tirsa … I am a little scared.’
‘There is no need, it’s fine.’
‘Can’t we make a torch?’
‘I would love to grant your wish and ease your fear, but with all due respect, how and with what are we going to light a fire?’
‘You tell me!’ Artride sounded upset. ‘This is madness, entering a cave without any form of light!’
‘It was you who said to follow our nose! I agree that it does seem unwise, we are basically blind in here, but right now we have no other choice than to rely on our other senses and trust our instinct.’
Artride nodded and entered the cave mouth holding on to Tirsa’s left foot. She managed to squeeze her way in with some effort and felt the cold enclosing her. ‘It’s like being born all over again!’ Artride joked, trying to calm her fears. Humour had always eased her fears before; even if she had to talk to herself most of the time these days.
The narrow passageway kept going straight on for a while, unchanged in width, before it made a slight curve to the left.
‘It is getting steeper down here again,’ Tirsa commented, touching the cold passageway walls and floor. So they moved slowly, feeling their way, further into the dark.
‘I feel the ground is curving somewhat down. Hold on to me.’
‘I am right behind you, how in Talamh am I going to lose you?’ she teased, but suddenly she felt a strong pull of Tirsa’s foot and she was stretched forward, losing contact with the ground beneath her. ‘What –’
‘Tirsa!’ but she had gone over a ledge and now together they were falling into the darkness; Artride still holding on to her foot, screaming.
The fall seemed endless before Tirsa landed on her chest and belly; breaking her fall somewhat with her outstretched hands, hitting a hard, wet surface, closely followed by the queen behind her who fell down with a thud, before sliding downwards.
‘You ok, Artride?’ she shouted at her as the screaming had stopped, and got a confirming sound for reply.
Sliding on the slippery surface of mud and wet stone, they tried to make the ride as best as they could, Tirsa head first, Artride on her back; feet first, nearly touching her. They didn’t seem to bump into anything, and Tirsa guessed they were either lucky so far, or this was a man-made passageway to her home and anyone was supposed to enter like this. But that was hardly likely, since Sempervirens supposedly never had human guests. Thinking with fear about this idea, Artride was expecting to bump into a trap of some sort any moment, as this sorceress would surely set for unexpected, uninvited people.
However, the slide appeared fairly straight, with a small number of light curves so that their speed was enormous and sizzling. Artride began screaming with fear, and before Tirsa could warn her, this sliding path too seemed to come to an abrupt end, and they both fell a second time.
Tirsa managed to somehow turn during this longer fall, and when they did finally hit the ground she tried to make the best out of it, the way she had been taught during her combat lessons. Artride, of course not able to hold on to Tirsa’s foot this time, landed on top of her moments later. Tirsa had thrust her arms backwards to break the fall on her back a little, when she saw a blue glow beneath, just before she hit the floor with an agonizing thud.
Tirsa blacked out a moment, from pain, but more so the weight on top of her pushing the air out of her lungs. The queen stared at her sideways with frightened eyes.
She had landed on top of her sideways and together they made a perfect cross.
‘Tirsa, are you alright?’ she asked, lifting herself on her arms, giving her room to breathe.
Tirsa gulped for air, clutching her ribs, her face looked purple in the blue glow of the chamber they had fallen in. Artride had to act quickly, closing her eyes a moment before she started chanting and laying her open palms on her chest. She was mumbling faster and faster, and jammed open her eyes when she heard Tirsa still breathing heavily, her heartbeat fast under her touch.
‘I …’
‘Ssh, spare your breath. I’ll try again.’ And she closed her eyes a second time, chanting.
Taking deep controlled gulps of damp air through her nose and breathing out through her mouth, she was finally able to tell Artride she didn’t feel any tingling sensation like she had last time when she had healed her. But she was recovering by herself all the same; her back and lungs were still painful –, but she would live.
‘My magic does not work in here!’ she muttered worriedly. ‘I will not be able to heal any wounds, not even our bruises from this damn fall.’ And she rubbed her own hands and legs, staring anxiously up at the dark ceiling. The slide was barely visible.
‘Look at that height!’ and turning her attention to Tirsa, ‘Are you alright?’
‘Better. And what about you?’ Tirsa asked, checking herself and rubbing her wrists. ‘Are you still in one piece?’ She looked down at herself and smiled. ‘Thanks to you I am. You broke my fall!’
‘So I am good for something then,’ she retorted cynically. Artride suddenly stared sternly at her and studied her. ‘Why do you say that?’
‘Forget it.’ She brushed it off quickly and tried to scramble up, when the queen held her arm and squeezed it lightly.
‘Don’t be this way, Tirsa.’ And she tried to guess the fair-haired woman’s thou
ghts; exchanging a deep glance, but Tirsa glanced away and started to look around, ignoring the queen, which wasn’t easy.
‘Look at me, Tirsa,’ she demanded, still holding her arm. Was that an order? That she of course could not resist. Her voice sent a tingle of craving through her entire body.
In the dimmed blue light,which seemed to come from another chamber in the big cavern they were in, Tirsa saw her eyes shine and her lips slowly parting.
‘You have become very important for me,’ Artride said in a deep voice. ‘And if you have come to ignore that, you are more stubborn than I thought. Without you I would not have made it this far. You’ve encouraged me to keep going and not give up. Especially in that horrible swamp; without you I would have drowned! You underestimate yourself, Tirsa. You are too modest, really. And look where we are now; we are in the cave, the sorceress’ home which we set out to find. You and I can accomplish anything!’
‘Thank you for your kind words, Artride.’ And she smiled shyly at her. At times like this it was hard to imagine her as commander at all. Maybe it was because she had lost her weapons and felt small without them. Everyone knew that was a well known fact about soldiers. So she just had to lighten her up a little.
‘I have a feeling that in here we have no use for weapons, or my healing powers for that matter,’ Artride said in a soothing voice, glancing around. And with the latter she had hit the nail right on the head, for it was exactly that what bothered her: the queen healing her, nursing her, and not the other way round. Tirsa was not used to this treatment, she was a commander and normally it was she who looked after her people, her company. She was not only their leader, but she was their mother and made sure they were well fed and trained and progressed as knights. She also had to check up on them all individually and make sure they were looking after their gear, weapons and uniform, and of course their steads. She gave them a lot of freedom, even if it meant they made the occasional mistakes. They learned, and there was room for them to share their experiences. That was what earned their respect; that and the fact she was a good listener and she treated every knight as an individual, not a pawn. So, not being the one in control and not quite knowing where she stood, and slowly losing herself, bothered her greatly.
‘If she meant harm she would have had guards guarding the place,’ Artride spoke.
‘No, she wants us to come, even though the entry wasn’t great.’ And she licked her lips moist and came closer, so close Tirsa could feel the warmth of her face. Tirsa was breathing fast, but whether it was still from the fall the queen didn’t know. She locked on to her attractive olive green eyes which seemed to merge with hers. Something stirred in the air. There was no sound, no cave, just the two of them. Electricity ran from one to the other. Artride acted on impulsive when she pressed her lips lightly onto Tirsa’s. At first, Tirsa looked astonished at her, but she recognized desire when she saw it which matched her own, and did not pull away.
‘Don’t fight it,’ Artride whispered and gently urged her on. Tirsa slowly seemed to give in and relaxed under her touch, closing her eyes. Abruptly she broke the passionate, enchanting moment, opening her eyes and backing away.
Uncertain, the queen tried to read her thoughts and asked, ‘What is it?’
Ashamed, Tirsa lowered her face and stood up, turning her back on her. This was not allowed according to policy: a knight kissing a queen, never mind both being women. But Tirsa never cared much for that, and since she had got to know the queen better, and especially after her near-death experience, she knew that rank existed only in the minds of people. But still, this was a delicate situation and she could not get involved in the matter of laws, punishments and secrets any more than she already did; even if she was sorry about it.
Artride, in the meantime, realised that she had overstepped her boundaries and regretted acting on her urge.
‘I am so sorry, Tirsa; I thought you wanted it as much as I did. I thought–’
‘I just can’t,’ Tirsa said in an elevated, distressed voice.
Bewildered, Artride looked up at her with one raised eyebrow. ‘I thought … I hoped I had become more to you than just a queen. Is it that? The fact I am the queen must still bother you, does it not? I’d hoped I had become a friend, rather than someone you had to look up to.’
Yes, but how can I forget that you are the queen? You are after all my superior and will always be …
Tirsa shook her head, and was still getting used to the idea that Artride believed her to be a desirable friend; even though she had recognized the signs earlier on, and even though she herself was very taken with the queen; it could never be. But she also remembered her maid Ezra, and Artride always getting everything she desired; people included. Ezra too, had to walk away before it got out of hand. Maybe her falling in love with someone elese was a blessing in the sky for everyone involved.
‘I guess I was wrong,’ Artride said sadly, suddenly aware of the burden she had placed onto her bodyguard when she saw the expression on her face, and the lines of worry.
‘No, you have become … more … to me than a queen and who wouldn’t want to be kissed by you? I mean …’ and Tirsa stared at the striking woman in front of her, beautiful both on the inside and outside, at a loss for words. What fool would resist her?
‘It’s just … sorry!’ and Tirsa walked away in the direction of the blue light. Artride watched her leave with a stab of pain in her heart. Artride, you selfish idiot!
Shortly after she stood too and walked after Tirsa. She found her standing, watching an enormous round hallway, but still the light did not come from there.
‘I take full responsibility for this, Tirsa. I don’t know what came over me. I should have used my head. This is not like me. It’s just … that that never got me anywhere either.’
Softly she replied, ‘Don’t be sorry. I don’t regret it, but …’ and Tirsa sighed, and Artride sensed what she wanted to say before she even spoke., ‘It’s already too complicated as it is.’ And Tirsa faced her. ‘And besides, I don’t know if I am even ready for this.’
Stupid! You are just making up excuses not to feel anything; to get involved with anyone!
‘I see,’ Artride quietly replied. ‘I respect that; however, you do not have to fear nor worry for me, if that’s what it is. Even if you do not say it, I know that it bothers you. I can look after myself. And it is not that I can return safely without a spell anyway; so it is either death for me or a safer life without complications; either way, why not try to make the best of the time given to us? It was just a kiss.’ And she stared at her hands, painfully aware of how selfish once again she sounded. With that kiss she had forgotten all about Tirsa’s feelings and had risked their bond. It had sounded like she wanted to have fun in the time she still had left. How would Tirsa feel if she should die and once again lose someone she cared for? Whilst their mission should have nothing to do with them, nor their feelings, but be all about the search for the sorceress, lifting the curse to gain a better life for their people and to save Elimar, it had turned out to be more about the two of them!
Once the curse is lifted, it will not only affect me and her, but also the rest of the men and women of Ceartas, with these forbidden same sex feelings they could not show before or had to hide. But Artride would lay it to rest for the higher purpose of their goal right now, and thought about the little time they had left: two weeks, if they had been counting right. Feeling very guilty, Artride said, ‘We are making the best time we can here and it will not be long now; so we will be able to return in time for your brother.’ And she sighed when Tirsa remained silent.
Won’t you tell me what befell you? It is obvious something is bothering you and now I have the feeling that something else is the reason you’re holding back. If you would just tell me.
She saw the deep hurt in Tirsa’s eyes and she wished she hadn’t forced herself on her. Artride had heard she had lost a lover and that she was heartbroken after. However, she had wanted to hear
it from her, not prise it out of her. But now she knew her mistake. Obviously it was still hurting her. She had no right, if she had just considered her feelings, and she was deeply sorry.
When do you stop mourning, Tirsa? Will you ever? Tirsa heard her own inner voice.
I wish you weren’t a queen. Things would be different then.
You know being a queen doesn’t mean a thing in Ceartas, and it doesn’t have to for you, Artride thought as though in reply.
‘I wish you would stop placing me on a pedestal, Tirsa,’ she said out aloud as if reading her thoughts. ‘Stop looking up to me and worshipping me like some goddess.’ Begin to treat me as a human being; an equal.
Tirsa had still been doing that, without meaning to perhaps, but she would always adore her remarkable beauty and her kind ways, and Artride was not so foolish to miss that.
‘Not you as well. I already have enough people to be worshipped by, because of my Royal rank and I am tired of that; I told you before. Being a queen with a pretty face is a curse! I am a real person of flesh and blood, like you and with feelings. Denying them would be –’
‘The wisest thing to do,’ Tirsa filled in.
Artride shut her mouth and dropped her head, closing her eyes. It was obvious Tirsa wanted the old distance back in order to save herself. Artride couldn’t blame her for that. All she ever could do was hurt people; history had taught her that all too well.
I have gone too far. I should have kept the required distance. People expect me to be larger than life, not kiss them! Artride, Artride, it’s about time you realised you can’t just do what you feel like! It serves me right!
‘Alright, let’s forget it ever happened. We drop the discussion here and continue our mission and focus on that,’ she bitterly stated and looked down on herself, clearing her wet clothes from little stones. Tirsa noticed her own tunic and breeches were damaged and dark from the running water and mud. She pointed out the stream.
The Queen's Curse Page 23
