Lexington and 42nd (The Off Field Series #1)

by Kim Carmody

  I shook my head. “No Will, I don’t want to hear it. I’m so angry right now I can barely look at you.”

  He inhaled deeply, his eyes widening. We both stood there, looking anywhere but at each other for the third awkward silence in as many minutes. We must have been nearing a record.

  I made to move around him toward my apartment. “I have to go.”

  “Wait. Please.” Will caught my elbow. It was light enough for me to pull away easily but I couldn’t, the heat of his touch overriding any such plans. I turned back and met his eyes. God he was beautiful, painfully so. No man with such raw masculinity should be labelled beautiful, but that’s exactly what he was. He blinked a few times, stepping closer until I had to lift my head to hold his gaze.

  He had dropped my arm. None of our body parts were touching but I still felt the heat radiating off him, smelled his familiar scent. I wanted to reach around his neck and run my nails through the licks of hair poking out beneath his cap. There was nothing awkward about this silence. It wasn’t even sexual. Being close to him just felt right.

  “I’m so sorry, Em. I know you don’t want to hear it but please let me talk to you. I need to explain.” He paused, watching me closely for a moment before he went on. “It was stupid, it should never have happened. It’s nothing like you and me.”

  I flinched at his words. “Will, there is no ‘you and me.’ Especially now that you’ve gone and told Mark. You thought nothing about opening your mouth and revealing what happened without even thinking of me. This—” I gestured between us. “—can’t happen.”

  Will’s eyes bulged. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why are you getting so worked up about this? Mark was fine. I told you, I explained that it was me.”

  “Oh, well I guess that makes it all better then, doesn’t it? You’ve just tidied everything up into a nice little package.” I glared at him.

  We were both breathing heavily. Will pinched the bridge of his nose and I could just imagine the speech he was giving himself as he tried to keep his cool.

  “Obviously neither of us is ready to talk yet, but we need to. I’m not cool leaving it like this.”

  I nodded. As much as I didn’t want to, Will was right. We still had nearly ten months of working together. This definitely needed to be resolved somehow. “Okay.” I sighed. “I’ll be managing your interview tomorrow night. We can catch up after that.”

  I watched as Will’s facial features relaxed and only then realized I’d never seen him so tense. “Good…good. Let’s talk then.”

  I took a step backward, unsure how you say goodbye after an encounter like that. There didn’t really seem like a fitting farewell when everything was still so unresolved, so instead I said nothing.

  #

  I stared at myself in the mirror, annoyed that I even cared. I told myself there was nothing abnormal about taking ninety minutes to get ready for an event I’d only be at for thirty. Nothing at all. It was natural to wear my favorite dress when I’d likely just stand in the corner unseen for most of the time. The fact that I’d bothered to wash and blow dry my hair even though it had only been washed the day before had nothing to do with seeing Will again. Nothing.

  I took a deep breath, willing myself to just get out the door and face the music. To say I was a nervous wreck was a serious understatement. Knowing tonight I would be seeing Will again had left me pretty much unable to function for the past forty-eight hours. If Carrie and Dana thought that mopey me was bad, then distracted, anxious me was ten times worse—they were probably having serious doubts about the whole exchange program at this stage.

  I grabbed my purse, giving myself a last once-over in the mirror before dashing out the door. I was glad for the light silk dress I had on. The early July heat was stifling and I thanked God the cab I got into was air conditioned.

  I gave the cabbie directions and then leaned back, going over the position I planned to take with Will for the thousandth time. I knew now that my body was traitorous when it came to him, so I had invested all my energies into figuring out what I wanted to say and hoped to God I could get it all out before he did something that left me weak in the knees. My anger was still there—in spades actually—but as hard as I tried, it didn’t stop the warmth that came at the thought of being alone with Will.

  My phone vibrated in my lap. It was from Julia.

  Good luck chicken! Call me as soon as you’re done and remember DO NOT let him touch you or you’ll be done for xx

  I smiled. Julia had been my absolute saving grace through this whole ordeal. Being so far from home, I had no idea how I would have coped with everything without her. She and Leo had left early this morning to beat the 4th of July weekend traffic. He was taking her to Michigan to meet his family. I was spending the holiday in Manhattan, and while I was fairly jealous of the hordes that were heading to The Hamptons, I was also secretly looking forward to a quiet weekend in the city where I would have time to keep exploring the endless magic that was New York.

  I was about to press send on my response to Julia when the cabbie slammed on the brakes.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  There was no air in my lungs, I couldn’t breathe. Everything was so dark—why could I barely see? And my head…the pain was almost unbearable. I could hear noises, voices yelling, but they were far away. My chest constricted as I tried to get air into my screaming lungs. It was all I could think about.

  I felt a hand clamp around my wrist and twisted as best I could to see where it came from, causing a fresh wave of pain to sear through my head.

  “Sweetie, sweetie, can you hear me?” I tried to follow the woman’s voice but couldn’t see anything. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” She moved her hand down to mine and I grabbed hold of it like a life raft.

  “Good girl, you’re gonna be fine. You’re stuck but we’ll get you out of there.”

  It was then that I realized I was upside down, the throbbing in my head caused by all the blood rushing to it. I had never been claustrophobic, but at that moment, my body completely rejected its surroundings. I felt the panic rise through me like fire, ripping a scream from my lungs as I pulled frantically on my life raft. She gripped my hand back.

  “Calm down, honey. I know it’s scary but you need to stay calm. What’s your name?”

  “Em…Emma.” My voice was a raw whisper. As more air found its way back into my lungs, I had to fight to control my hyperventilating. My eyes were adjusting and I could see a little more now, but I could barely move, and my neck and left shoulder were holding the majority of my body weight.

  “Emma, did you say?”

  “Yes.”

  “Emma, I’m Janet. I’m from the New York Police Department and we’re gonna get you out of there real quick.” Even as she spoke, I heard the sound of sirens and realized they must be for me. “Can you tell me if you’re hurt at all?”

  I paused, trying to calm myself enough to focus on individual body parts rather than the sum of the terrifying situation. I tried to wriggle my toes, move my legs. I could feel them—they didn’t hurt, but they were stuck somehow. I felt along the length of my body with the hand that wasn’t holding Janet’s and realized I couldn’t feel any real pain there either, just waning discomfort from having the wind knocked out of me and being folded up like a pretzel.

  “I…I think I’m okay. But my head is killing me. I don’t think I can stay like this for much longer.”

  “Good girl. Don’t worry, it’s only gonna be a few more minutes. We’ll have you out in no time.” I liked Janet’s voice—it was soothing.

  “Where you from?”

  “Um, Sydney, Australia.” Even just saying the words made me instantly homesick.

  “I’ve heard that’s a nice place. You been here long?”

  “Two months.” I could barely croak out the words. I felt like a thousand tons of pressure were clamping down on my head.

  The car shifted slightly and I tightened my grip on Janet. “It’s all right sw
eetie. They’re just moving a few things to get you out.” A second wave of panic ripped through me at the thought of something moving the wrong way and trapping me further. “Emma, I’m gonna have to let go now. The team is coming in to get you out.”

  “NO! No, stay, please?” I couldn’t help the edge of panic in my voice.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here. I just need to move away so they can get to you.” Janet paused. “Is that okay Emma?”

  I fought the urge to say no because oh, how I wanted my life raft to stay with me. “Yes…all right.”

  Janet slowly pulled her hand from my vice-like grip and I listened to the muffled voices as bodies moved around outside the car.

  “Emma, my name is Steve. I’m from the New York Fire Department and I’m going to get you out.” At the sound of Steve’s voice, I felt a smidge of the tension I’d been holding fall away. Steve had a voice you could trust. Thank God for Steve.

  “You’re going to be fine, but I need you to turn your head away from the sound of my voice and keep your eyes shut. If you can, brace above your head with your hands. Can you do that?”

  “Ye…yes,” I managed to croak out.

  “Good girl. This’ll only take a minute or two.”

  I tried counting in my head to block out the piercing noise of whatever frightening contraption they were using to cut me out of the car. I got to eighty-six when it stopped.

  I felt a slight release of pressure across my thighs as the door was pulled away, causing my lower body to tilt and follow course. The release of tension on my head and neck was instant as my body finally made its way to a more manageable horizontal position.

  “I know you can move now Emma but try not to. We’ll get you out on a stretcher and then have you checked out.”

  It took every bit of willpower I had not to ignore Steve and clamber to freedom, but I lay there as still as I could while they moved me an inch this way or that, figuring out the safest way to pull me out. When they had me lying on a flat trolley, I was pulled to safety, out into the light.

  “Well, hello there.” My life raft smiled down at me. “It’s good to have you back out here with us.”

  #

  I didn’t know where the closest hospital was, but it must not have been far. I spent the better part of two hours being prodded and poked, scanned, X-rayed and monitored to within an inch of my life. The nurses were kind in an efficient, practiced way, obviously run off their feet. I was eventually wheeled into a private room outside of the emergency ward, left alone for the first time since the accident.

  I was staring at the ceiling, holding back tears that had been threatening to overflow for the past few hours when I heard the door creak open. My breath caught as Will’s head came into view, followed by his body as he slipped through the door, leaning against it to push it closed.

  Not moving, his eyes roamed over every inch of me before coming up to my face, as if he were checking to make sure I was still in one piece.

  “What are you…” My voice trailed off as I tried to piece together how Will had found me in a hospital room.

  “I called when you didn’t show up. An officer answered your phone.”

  “Oh.”

  He exhaled heavily. “Scared me half to death.”

  Taking a tentative step towards me, he said, “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” I blinked a few times, trying but failing to stop a tear from trickling out the corner of my eye.

  “Emma—”

  “Honestly Will, I am. I just got a fright.” I swiped at the tear before looking at him again. “You shouldn’t have come.”

  “Don’t.” He shook his head. “Don’t do that. Not now.”

  “I mean it, you shouldn’t be here.” My breathing was more like vibrations, fluttering through my chest erratically.

  He huffed. “Well I am here, and unless you can carry me out yourself, I’m not going anywhere.”

  I wanted to put up more of a fight, to push him away with my words, but I couldn’t. Because despite how angry I was, despite knowing how pointless still wanting him was, Will Jensen turning around and walking out of the room right now was the last thing I wanted.

  When I didn’t say anything he came closer again, this time moving to stand against the side of the bed. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  I nodded, my voice quiet. “I think so. The doctors don’t seem worried. I’m just waiting for my scans to come back.”

  Will looked down at me, his face still creased with worry. “You scared the hell out of me.” His thumb brushed along my cheek and I couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

  At that moment the door pushed open, this time with more force as the doctor walked in, his eyes lowered to the chart in his hand.

  “How’s the patient feel—” He stopped short when he looked up to find Will standing in front of him. “Holy hell.” The doctor stared slack-mouthed at him, like Jesus himself was in the hospital.

  Will turned to face him properly, extending a hand. “Hi, Will Jensen.”

  The doctor nodded, accepting Will’s outstretched hand and pumping it firmly. “Jensen, I know,” he clutched the chart to his chest. “Big fan.” He looked from Will to me and laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, it’s not every day I walk into a hospital room and find the Warriors quarterback standing there.”

  “Hopefully we can do you proud this season.” Will brushed off his comment, reeling off what I knew was a routine line for random fan encounters.

  Remembering he was in fact here to deliver my test results, the doctor—clearly a huge Warriors fan—came around to the other side of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

  I smiled. “Pretty good for someone who had to be cut out of a car this afternoon.”

  He laughed. “You can say that again. You’re one lucky girl. I have good news for you.” Looking down at the chart in his hand, he said, “All your tests came back clear. There wasn’t any spinal damage and your brain scans look normal, no internal bleeding that we could see.”

  Will inhaled sharply beside me. “Thank fuck.”

  Glancing up at Will and back down at me, the doctor said, “How about we try to get you out of bed and walking?”

  That sounded like a superb idea to me.

  Batting away Will’s hand, I pushed myself further up to a sitting position, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. The doctor came around to stand on my other side, watching as I slid off the edge of the mattress to stand and walk tentatively across to the window. “You feel all right?”

  I nodded. “Surprisingly, yes.” I looked down to the nasty bruise that was forming on my left shin. “Better than I look, I imagine.” I felt myself flush as I took in the hideous hospital gown that did nothing to hide how cold the room was.

  The doctor cleared his throat. “Good. I think you’ll be fine to leave if you feel up to it.”

  I nodded. “That would be great, thank you.”

  “Wait a sec, she’s just been in a major accident. Shouldn’t you keep her overnight for observation?”

  “I feel fine, Will.” He looked at me a beat before turning to the doctor, clearly unconvinced by my self-assessment.

  “Emma’s tests all came back clear. She’s going to be a bit sore over the next few days, but she’ll probably be more comfortable at home.”

  Will looked back at me. “You sure you’re feeling all right?”

  “Yes, really. I just want to go home.”

  “Okay, I’ll take you.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll just get a cab.”

  “No. I’ll take you.” I took one look at his face and chose not to argue the point.

  I smiled weakly at the doctor who was watching our interaction curiously, clearly trying to figure out what the New York Warriors quarterback was doing in a hospital room arguing with an Australian girl about driving her home. He nodded briskly. “I’ll leave you to get changed. You can sign the paperwork on your way out.”

  When he
left I looked back at Will, feeling small and exposed in nothing but a thin hospital gown and bare feet. He sagged against the mattress, closing his eyes.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” he said, without opening them.

  “No. Tell me what’s wrong.” I walked back over to stand next to him by the bed.

  He opened his eyes. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  With him sitting, we were at eye level with each other. I stared at him, for once not caring that I shouldn’t. My eyes followed the path of his jaw, starting from the sharp edge that cut in just below his ear, along the straight path to his chin. His lips parted, the bottom one jutting out just a little and when I looked up to meet dark oval eyes, they bored into mine with such intensity I found it hard to breathe. And suddenly I did want to talk about things.

  “Why did you say what you did at the fundraiser about Sarah?”

  He blinked, clearly not expecting my question. He opened his mouth to speak, to defend himself, and then closed it; and I knew then that whatever he said next would be the truth.

  “I didn’t exactly lie when I said she threw herself at me and didn’t give a shit about anything else…but it wasn’t the truth either.”

  I frowned. “I don’t follow.”

  “That night she was different. She had always been so straight—friendly and easy going—but still, just so…functional. So focused on the task at hand and I liked that about her. I didn’t want to fuck around with the off-field stuff any longer than I had to and she knew it. But then for some reason, that night she just let loose, became this other person that was in the moment and carefree and…all over me. It was like she didn’t seem to care about anything. Too much alcohol I guess, for both of us.” He looked at me, a sheepish smile hovering at the corner of his mouth. “I may look like I can handle my alcohol, but after a full season of not drinking, it doesn’t take much.”