How (Not) to Fall in Love

by Lisa Brown Roberts

  Mom glanced back and forth between us. He looked almost as good as he had on Homecoming night, though he wasn’t in a tux. But he had on nice pants, and a dress shirt and tie.

  “Wow,” I said, recovering as well as I could. “You almost look like a grown-up.”

  “So do you.” His eyes skimmed over me. “I didn’t think you owned any dresses.”

  He held the door open for us. My arm brushed his, waking up every nerve in my body. I stepped away from him.

  “Lucas, this is my mom, Marilyn.”

  He put out his hand. “It’s great to meet you, Mrs. Covington. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  Mom raised an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine you’ve heard anything good.”

  “Mom.” I glared at her. Way to go, Mom. We hadn’t even sat down to eat yet.

  A dark-haired man about Mom’s age joined us in the living room. As he stood next to Lucas I realized who he was.

  “This is my dad, Alejandro,” Lucas said. “Dad, this is Darcy and her mom, Marilyn.”

  Alejandro shook our hands. As I looked into his eyes, I noticed they danced with amusement, just like Lucas’s did when we kidded around.

  “A pleasure,” Alejandro said. He offered his arm to Mom. “Should we go supervise the cooks in the kitchen?”

  Mom surprised me by going with him, resurrecting some of her manners. Then Lucas and I were alone. I felt shy around him, almost as much as when he’d shown me his tattoo. Maybe it was the dress. And the tie. And getting caught dreaming about him.

  “I didn’t know you’d be here today,” I said.

  He tilted his head. “Would you have stayed home if you’d known?”

  I blushed. “No, of course not. I just—”

  “Darcy!” Pickles ran into the room at top speed, screeching to a stop in front of me. Her eyes were huge. “You look so pretty!” She turned to Lucas. “Doesn’t she?” She turned back to me. “Way prettier dan Heather.” She frowned. “I hate Heather.”

  Lucas picked her up like she was a sack of flour and tossed her over his shoulder. “We all know how you feel about Heather,” he said, walking out of the room. “I think you can stop announcing it like the town crier.”

  “I’m not a crier!” she protested as he tickled her.

  I followed them into the kitchen, laughing, and grateful for Pickles’ interruption.

  We spent the afternoon eating turkey and tofu. Charlie and Liz had cooked enough food to please the carnivores and the vegans. I watched Mom closely as she drank wine, but she stopped after two glasses. I sighed with relief when she switched to coffee. Maybe she didn’t really have a drinking problem. Maybe it was just the stress. Maybe if she spent more time with people like Charlie and Liz…

  Jazz played on the stereo while Alejandro and Charlie bantered like old friends, which they obviously were. Liz turned her cosmic rays on full blast for Mom, who responded by relaxing and laughing in a way I hadn’t seen in forever. Lucas and I debated whether it was better to watch Studio Ghibli movies subtitled or dubbed. I’d missed arguing with him, joking with him. I’d missed him, period.

  When none of us could eat any more, Pickles wormed her way onto my lap and played with my necklace, one of my own creations. Toby snored under the table, full of the scraps people had been sneaking him. No one mentioned Dad or the gossip column in the paper.

  I wanted to freeze time at this table, with these people who’d become so important in my life. Mom had said we didn’t have anything to be grateful for, but the gratitude that swelled in my heart brought tears to my eyes.

  Pickles stopped playing with my necklace when I reached up to brush a tear away.

  “Why are you crying?” she whispered. She darted a suspicious look at Lucas, as if ready to blame him. He settled his gaze on me. My heart raced but I didn’t look away this time. There it was again—what I’d seen that night at his house, what I’d seen on our walk with Toby.

  I finally broke eye contact to answer Pickles. “Did you ever cry because you were so happy it just sort of spilled out?”

  She considered this seriously. “Maybe. When I got lost in the grocery store, then Lukie found me.” She patted my cheek with her chubby hand. “I love you, Darcy,” she whispered. “Don’t cry.”

  I wiped another tear from my face and kissed her nose.

  Lucas slid his chair away from the table and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with pie and dessert plates. “What kind of host forgets about dessert?” he teased Charlie.

  Everyone laughed, and Pickles slid off my lap. Lucas cut the pie and Pickles delivered plates to each of us. Charlie raised his wine glass and cleared his throat. “I’d like to make a toast.” Everyone raised a glass and waited for him to speak. I was relieved that Mom held up a water goblet. Charlie turned his gaze to me. “To my niece,” he said.

  Uh-oh.

  “When Darcy walked into my store the first time, I remembered the little girl I’d known long ago. But now she’s an amazing young woman who’s brought so much heart to our little corner of Broadway.” He smiled, and I saw Dad looking back at me. “In spite of all she’s dealing with, she makes us laugh every day. She’s always there when we need her. She has a quiet strength that informs everything she does.” He paused and shot a grin at Liz. “Not to mention, now I get to have date nights since Darcy’s there to close up shop on the weekends.” He lifted his glass. “To Darcy!”

  Everyone echoed his words. “To Darcy!”

  Mom beamed at me, her eyes bright with tears. I didn’t dare look at Lucas. I’d heard him toast me along with everyone else, and that was enough.

  “To family and friends, old and new,” Liz said.

  They went on like that for ages, toasting and laughing.

  Eventually Lucas started to clear the table. I stood up to help him.

  “That’s why you need kids,” Alejandro said to Liz and Charlie. “To do the dirty work.”

  Their laughter followed us into the kitchen. Lucas scraped the plate scraps into a trash can while I stacked glasses on the counter. Charlie’s kitchen was exactly as I’d imagined, complete with a dozen sets of salt and pepper shakers lining the windowsill over the sink.

  “Are you glad you’re here today?” Lucas asked, turning from the sink. His sleeves were rolled up and his hands dripped with soapy water.

  I nodded. “Very,” I said quietly.

  “Me too,” he said. “I’ve missed you. Missed us.”

  My body forgot how to breathe, and I couldn’t even draw enough air to agree.

  He cleared his throat and turned away, drying his hands on a dishtowel. “Did Charlie embarrass you? With his toast?”

  “Yeah.” My voice was croaky, but at least it worked. “His toast surprised me. But it was nice.”

  “It was also true.”

  I stared at my shoes, afraid to look at him. One minute we were joking and debating about books and movies, then the next thing I knew he said things that made me tongue-tied and breathless. Just when I thought I could relax around him, he put me off balance.

  Pickles bounced into the kitchen. “Charlie says there’s more pie! A chocolate one. Daddy says I can have a piece.” She looked at her brother with pleading eyes. “Where is it?”

  Lucas laughed as he ruffled her hair. “In the fridge.”

  I yanked open the refrigerator to retrieve the pie box, grateful for the distraction.

  “Let’s take it to the dining room, Pickles,” I said, sidestepping around Lucas. “I’m sure other people will want some, too.”

  Mom yawned and stretched as we drove home. “That was wonderful, Darcy. Thank you for dragging me out.”

  “They’re awesome people.”

  “They are,” she agreed. “So…” She hesitated. “You and Lucas? Is there something going on I should know about?”

  I squeezed the steering wheel. “We’re friends. That’s all.” For now.

  “Hmm,” s
he said. “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

  “What do you mean?” Had my mom seen the way he looked at me? The way I looked at him?

  She chuckled softly. “Nothing.” She patted my knee. “I owe you an apology. Earlier today you said we had each other to be thankful for. I said some things that weren’t kind. Or true.”

  I glanced at her and then looked back at the road.

  “Darcy.” Mom’s voice was soft. “You’ve grown up so fast…with all that’s happened. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  “Your dad would be, too.” She swallowed. “He will be, I mean. When he comes home.”

  “I wonder what he’s doing tonight,” I said.

  She shifted in her seat. “I wonder, too.” Her hand reached for mine and I took it, leaving one hand on the wheel.

  We drove the rest of the way hands gripped together, each of us sending wishes and hopes to Dad, wherever he was.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  November 29

  Lucas called me on Saturday morning as I was getting dressed to go apartment-hunting with him. I’d been staring in my closet, debating what to wear. Boring sweatshirt and ratty jeans because we were just friends and I didn’t care how I looked? Or cute sweater and nice jeans because I did care? Especially after what he’d said at Thanksgiving about missing me. Missing us.

  It felt like something had shifted again that night, and it wasn’t just my ever-hopeful imagination or all the romances I’d been reading. Which reminded me, Charlie still hadn’t found the stack of regencies I’d set aside in his store, and I was desperate for new books to read. I could ask Lucas if he’d seen them, but that was too embarrassing.

  “So,” he said on the phone. “I was thinking it’d be easier if I picked you up. That way you don’t have to take the bus down here to meet me.”

  My heart sped up. Pick me up? Like a date?

  “But it’s out of your way. Aren’t the apartments down by Charlie’s store?”

  There was a moment of silence. “Yeah. But still. It’s not that far. And I was thinking I could check out your truck like I suggested before.”

  “Did Charlie put you up to this?” I demanded.

  His laughter sent a shiver down my neck. “No. I thought of it all by myself. Imagine that.”

  I smiled into the phone. “Well, in that case you can pick me up. Do you need my address?”

  “I remember where you live. I’ll see you in an hour.”

  I compromised and went with the cute sweater and ratty jeans. And a tiny bit of mascara. And lip gloss. And earrings.

  While I waited for Lucas to arrive, I stared at my map. Ingram, Texas. Rolla, Missouri. Alliance, Nebraska. Santa Fe, New Mexico. Laguna Beach, California. There weren’t any henges in Laguna Beach. Dad’s postcard had been of a sunset over the ocean. Dad loved the ocean. Maybe he’d just headed west after leaving Santa Fe.

  The doorbell startled Toby awake and he tore down the stairs, barking like mad. I stopped at the mirror over my dresser. No, I was nothing like Heather. But that didn’t matter. Like Sal said, I was on fire. Lit from the inside.

  “Get your butt in gear,” I told my reflection. I ran a brush through my hair one last time, then hurried down the stairs to calm Toby.

  “Hey,” said Lucas when I opened the door, as relaxed as if he came over every day. Toby became a wriggling ball of pathetic dog suck-up-ness. Lucas laughed and bent to play with him.

  “God, my dog is a useless protector. What if you were a crazy serial killer?”

  “Then I wouldn’t have rung the doorbell.” He looked up and grinned at me.

  “Good point. Let me just grab my bag.” I turned away so he wouldn’t see me blushing. My body was so over this “just friends” delusion.

  “Hold on,” Lucas said. “What about your truck?”

  Oh yeah, that. I turned back to him. “Do you really have time for that?”

  “Got the whole day off. Charlie was cool with it since I’m helping you.”

  “So helping me is a way for you to suck up to your boss, is that it?”

  He rolled his eyes. “You figured it out. My ultimate evil plan is to rule the empire of Broadway. First, the Second Hand Story. Then Liz’s store. Then Homeless Harry and I are taking over Inkheart. Harry’s got wicked ink skills.”

  I burst out laughing. “The truck is in the garage,” I called over my shoulder as I led the way. “Come on.”

  Lucas followed me through the dining room. “Do you want something to drink?” I opened the fridge. There wasn’t much, but we had a few store brand colas left. “Lucas?” I turned around to see an empty kitchen. I returned to the dining room to find him staring up at the chandelier, Toby sitting patiently next to him.

  “That’s one killer chandelier,” he said. “If anyone ever did break in, you could use it as a weapon.”

  “I hate it,” I said, “but my mom loves it. It’s definitely a conversation starter for dinner parties. Or it used to be, when we had them.”

  Lucas took the soda from me. “Thanks.” He snapped open the top and drained half of it in one swallow. “Take me to the Reaper.”

  “How did you know I called it that?”

  “You told Charlie.” He grinned. “Sometimes people forget I’m working behind the curtain. I overhear a lot of interesting conversations.”

  Oh God. My mind raced, wondering what other embarrassing conversations he might have overheard. He laughed at the expression on my face. “Don’t look so freaked. You haven’t given away any state secrets. Nothing worth turning you over to the Feds, even though I hear the reward money’s pretty good.”

  “That’s a relief.” I started to punch him on the shoulder but stopped myself just in time. Must not make physical contact.

  “Can I have the key? I want to back it out to the driveway.” Lucas held out his hand. I grabbed the key from the hook and tossed it to him.

  Toby ran after Lucas as he headed into the garage.

  “No, boy,” I said. “You’re not going for a ride.”

  Toby looked at Lucas hopefully. Lucas opened the truck door and Toby hopped in.

  “Way to undermine my authority, dude,” I said.

  Lucas slid into the truck and grinned at me, starting the engine and revving it loudly. Blue smoke filled the driveway as he backed out of the garage. He turned off the engine and hopped out, then buried himself under the hood while I tried to convince Toby to come out of the truck. My dog wasn’t budging.

  “I’ll need to spend more time,” Lucas said from under the hood. “But it might be your transmission.”

  “Is that bad?”

  He stood up and shrugged. “It could be. Or it could be a fluid change will fix it.” He glanced around the garage, apparently not seeing what he needed. “I’ll have to fix it at my place. I’m going to wash my hands before we go.”

  “Can you grab a Scooby snack from the kitchen counter?” I called through the mudroom. “It’s the only way Toby will come out of the truck.”

  I heard Lucas laugh from inside the house. He emerged without the dog treat.

  “You forgot the snack.”

  He waggled his eyebrows at me. “Watch and learn.” He leaned into the truck and within seconds Toby had jumped out, eyeing him with devotion.

  “That’s disgusting,” I said, glaring at him with resentment.

  “Just call me the dog whisperer.”

  “Can we go now? I can’t take much more of this. Next thing I know, Toby will want to go home with you.”

  “I’d love that but my dad’s allergic to dogs. And cats.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  “Yeah, it sucks, especially for Pickles. She loves animals.”

  “Poor Pickles. She’s so awesome.”

  He stared at me in mock horror. “What is wrong with you?”

  “Just call me the kid whisperer.”

  He poin
ted a finger at me. “Touché, Shaker Girl, touché.”

  While Lucas pulled the truck back into the garage, I ran into the bathroom by the kitchen. My face flushed and my eyes shone with excitement. I hoped Lucas wouldn’t notice, since it was all because of him.

  “So tell me about these places we’re looking at.” I buckled myself into his immaculate car. “How’d you find them?”

  “Lots of people in the neighborhood come into Charlie’s store. I asked around.” He handed me his iPod. “Pick something you like.”

  I jerked my arm away as our arms brushed, wondering if he felt the same electricity that I did. I glanced at him, but saw no change of expression in his face.

  Paging through his music, I was surprised to see a lot of the bands I liked. I thought Ice Krystal and Phoenix had been a fluke.

  “You like Passion Pit? And Snow Patrol? What’s with all the emo music?”

  He laughed. “What did you think I liked? Death metal?”

  “I don’t know. I just didn’t expect that you’d like—”

  “Chick music?”

  It was my turn to laugh. It was easier to laugh than say what I was thinking, which was that it was one more way I felt connected to him.

  He was quiet for a few minutes, then spoke. “The first place is an apartment right on Broadway. It’s above the panini shop.”

  “No kidding?” I turned to stare at him. “Does it smell like onions?”

  “And garlic.”

  “Really? I don’t know if my mom could deal with that.”

  He grinned at me. “Honestly, I don’t know what it smells like. You know Pinky, the owner? He called Charlie when he saw one of the signs.”

  “What signs?”

  Lucas looked embarrassed. “I put up a few signs around the neighborhood.”

  I hesitated, surprised. “You mean like, ‘apartment wanted for two weird chicks and their spastic dog’? Something like that?”

  Lucas shot me a grin. “Just like that. With a photo of two zombie chicks.”

  “Excellent.” I forced a lightness in my voice, but inside I was a quivering mess of churning emotions. His Royal Hotness had put up signs? For me?

  We parked in front of the panini restaurant, just a few blocks down from Charlie’s.