Love's Joy

by Emil Toth

  Sharika looked at the prince and smiled. “If he is willing, I would love to talk in length about it.”

  “Excellent, I shall leave the arrangement to the two of you.”

  Kaathi smiled, wondering if Sharika knew it was why she had asked her to be part of the adventurers.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  King Edmund insisted the travelers stay at his palace. None of them opposed him. The accommodations were a welcome change from the nights spent in treetops and around campfires. On the second night of the traveler’s stay, Edmund came across Kaathi and he guided her to a corner of his great room and they sat.

  “I must tell you there is no one so filled with joy as you. The moment you stepped out of the canoe and smiled at me I felt it. Others in this world are stars but you are the sun. It is a blessing to see you again, Kaathi. I miss your energy. I can talk to others intimately and never feel what I feel when I am talking to you.”

  She embraced him and smiled. “You are gracious, Edmund. Years ago you never would have felt it.”

  “Indeed, I would not have.”

  “I can see ejecting Lawrence has taken its toll on you. How do you feel about your son’s betrayal?”

  “Ah, I did not think I could fool you. I talked to him time and again about attending the session on relationships presented by his mother and Zach. He would not budge. He hated them and I know he hated me and would not talk to me because I changed. I was a huge disappointment to him, and he did not see the need for acknowledging women. I have always felt uneasy talking about expelling him to my wives.”

  “It might be you felt guilty.”

  “I am sure it was part of the reason. On one hand, I understood Lawrence and my officers’ anger. On the other hand, I felt I had let them down. Banishing Lawrence and four of my men was extremely difficult. It ate at my gut for a long time and often comes up in my thoughts. How can I rid myself of this guilt?”

  “Decisions which affect people’s lives often cling to rulers. What you need to remember is decisions are made with current knowledge. Part of your problem is your old self never looked back at a decision. This new self has a tendency to judge what you have done, and it is a mistake. Second guessing yourself can drive you to ruin. You need to keep yourself from getting mired in confusion. Trust yourself to know what is right and what is wrong. If you are still in turmoil, quiet yourself and wait for an answer to come.”

  “Where will this answer come from?”

  “From your intuitive self, your greater self, from the self in touch with Creator.”

  “This is new to me.”

  She smiled. “Perhaps it is time you got in touch with a deeper part of yourself. Perhaps it is time you came face to face with whom you truly are.”

  “And you think I can do it?”

  “I do, otherwise I never would suggest it. Are you meditating?”

  “Not as often as I should.”

  “The more you do the easier it is to pull answers from your deeper self.”

  “Thank you for your counsel. And what about you, Kaathi? What is happening?”

  “More and more of me is falling away.”

  “If true, what is left?”

  “Enough to communicate with you and enough to recognize emotions. These emotions come and leave me in less than a span of breath. Only love remains for me to revel in. I am grateful joy is present for a greater expanse of each day. It becomes increasingly more difficult to deal with day to day matters. I am thankful I have two healing apprentices and two High Priest apprentices.”

  “If what you say is true, why did you come on this adventure?”

  “I organized it for those coming with me. Each one has a special role to play in this adventure.”

  “How do you see it evolving?”

  “It is evolving so everyone, including you, can learn. Sweet Ashlee was defiled and abused as a slave. Underneath all of her pain a rich, beautiful, greater self was filtering through to give her hope and courage. She has a Pollyanna personality and chooses to see the goodness in all circumstances and people. She hated what the mutants did to her but never hated them.

  “She is making this trip in hopes of finding some living relatives and see if other women in Nubilon are as blessed as she in body and mind. The adventure will reveal her beauty is a resident of her heart.”

  “Our Elder, Caleb, will face challenges on this trip and be tested beyond his imagination. He will have to marshal his wisdom.”

  “And what of the two warriors?”

  “They will be why Caleb will be challenged. The Nubilons are entrenched in smothering and stifling women. Sandor and Pauli will be the catalysts for the change to take place in Nubilon.”

  “And what of the Hun woman, Sharika?”

  “Ah, her challenge will be here in the form of your son, Zach. I brought her along specifically to get to know Zach. The decision to pursue her relationship with him is up to her. She has a man back in Kahali who loves her.”

  Edmund smiled. “And now I come to you. Why are you taking part in this adventure?”

  “To love you and everyone I meet.”

  Edmund smiled.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Kaathi and Ashlee were on one of the palace verandas refreshing themselves with a cup of coconut water. Edgar approached. “Can I get you anything?”

  “No. Could you do something for me?”

  “Anything for you, Kaathi.”

  “Would you ask Renee and Andre to come here?”

  “I can.”

  Edgar left and Ashlee asked Kaathi, “Have you noticed the wonderful color of his skin?”

  “I have. All of the interracial people have it, and they seem to have the best physical features of the dark and light races. They are not as deeply tanned as most of the Kahali. I had a chance to talk to Edgar, and according to him, there is a resurgence in their desire to know their god. It gave me the opportunity to talk to him about Creator. He seemed interested. I assured him someone would share the philosophy with the Homarians. He was happy to hear it.”

  “Do you think there is anyone in Homar who can conduct the services?”

  “I was hoping to talk to Queen Angela and Prince Zach about it before we left,” answered Kaathi.

  They saw Edgar approaching with Renee and Andre. Introductions were made and embraces given and they settled down in the chairs.

  “You look radiant, Renee.”

  “Thank you, Kaathi. It is because there is a new love in my life. Andre and I have a daughter.”

  “Oh my goodness. Congratulations. What is her name?”

  “Kate, in your honor.”

  “How sweet of you. You will have to let us see her.”

  “We will.”

  “I can see how it has affected Renee,” noted Ashlee. “How has it affected you, Andre?”

  “She is a blessing and as cute as can be. Before I met Renee, I would have been angry my wife did not give me a son. I always wanted to teach my son to be brave and skilled. For the moment, those feelings and desires are gone. It was the old me. I am utterly happy Kate has come into my life. If we have a son, I can still teach him all I know. The pleasure will simply be postponed.”

  “Do you have a son with any of your other wives?”

  “I do consequently I am not too disappointed.”

  Kaathi smiled and touched Ashlee’s arm. “If you would have seen Andre before he met Renee, you would have been terrified by him. He epitomized the male in Homar. He was rough, brash, brazen, unbending and constantly looking for a fight.”

  Ashlee turned to Renee. “Well Renee, you did a marvelous job of influencing him to change.”

  “Oh, I cannot take the credit. All the credit goes to Kaathi. Andre was angry the war between our villages did not happen. He wanted to return with the spoils of war, namely women. He spotted me one day and told my father he was going to take me back with him to Homar. Neither my father nor I wanted it to happen. Since Kaathi challenged Edmund
, for the right to take Edmund’s son back with her, Andre challenged my father so he could take me back to Homar. Edmund heard of the challenge and there was a meeting to discuss the challenge. My father would have been no match for Andre. Jacob was there and stood in for my father and humiliated Andre in a contest. Andre was shunned by his friends after the bout, and he was hurt physically and mentally. Homar’s medicine man was nowhere to be found to tend to Andre. Kaathi saw how hurt he was and took him to her hut, tended to him, talked to him lovingly and won his heart. He left her hut a changed man, found me and properly courted me. We were married in Kahali and here.”

  “What a grand story,” bubbled Ashlee.

  Kaathi reached out and touched Andre’s arm. “How are you getting along with your fellow military leaders?”

  “Good. Edmund questioned the remaining leaders after the failed coup for recommendations and two of the men I recommended are now leaders.”

  “And how are you doing helping Renee at the sessions?”

  “I am still learning, and my presence is influencing some men to attend. At times, I contribute something worthwhile.”

  “I knew you would be helpful. How are you and Carver getting along?”

  “Good.” He chuckled. “Sometimes he drinks me under the table and sometimes I do it to him. It is the same with the contests we have at our campfire gatherings. The new leaders fit in well, and they have the good sense not to challenge either of us. Occasionally, Kaleez shows off and whips our ass. Oh, excuse my language.”

  Kaathi smiled. “I have heard worse from others and from you.”

  He returned the smile. “I guess you have.”

  There was a small lull in the conversation and Renee asked Ashlee, “How did you become friends with Kaathi?”

  Ashlee spun her story about being a slave and seeing Kaathi in her dreams. She related how she escaped from the Wanderer village, how she was rescued by Kaathi and Jacob and nearly killed by Ezra. She went on to describe how she fell in love with Jacob and married him and was made an apprentice High Priest by Kaathi.

  “Now you are up to the present moment,” ended Ashlee.

  Renee smiled sheepishly. “I am sure everyone says something about how lovely you are. Do you ever get tired of hearing it?”

  Ashlee smiled. “I do not. I have been called many terrible things, and it is wonderful to have people say nice things to me. In time, they will get used to my looks and talk about other things. Some are already doing it.”

  It was Renee’s turn to be curious. “Has your beauty caused you any problems?”

  “A few times men have tried to take advantage of me. I had to correct their behavior.”

  “You did?”

  “There were many times while I was among the mutants I had to fight for reasons I would rather not talk about.”

  “I am sorry I brought it up,” apologized Renee.

  “No need to be. It is all behind me. I do not like to dwell in the past unless it is enjoyable or serves a purpose.”

  A servant appeared at the room’s entrance and announced, “A woman wants an audience with you, Kaathi.”

  Kaathi excused herself and followed the servant to the woman. She was slight of build, dark eyed with dark, curled hair haloing her head. Her hands and fingers were delicate as was her nose and ears. Sweat glistened on her upper lip and her exposed teeth were white and evenly spaced. The woman spoke, “I heard you were not staying long. My name is Charmane. I desperately need to talk with you. Do you have a moment?”

  “I do.” She took the woman’s arm and led her outside to the bench in the shade of a large tree. She felt Charmane’s nervousness. “How can I help you?”

  “Over the years my husband has become angrier and angrier. For the past three years has struck me in anger. My husband needs to attend the Relationship Sessions. He needs to learn how to respect me.”

  “Have you talked to him about attending?”

  “I tried. The mere mention of it makes him angry. I want to attend but am afraid to go lest he hurts me. I am at my wits end. How can I get him to change?”

  “Other than ask him to attend the classes, I have nothing. Have you provoked him to cause him to get angry?”

  Charmane gave Kaathi a bewildered look. “No, absolutely not. I have come to you, why would you ask such a question?”

  “I asked you because the truth of any situation or event lies somewhere between your perception of what is happening in your marriage and the perception of what your husband thinks is taking place in your marriage. I am sure from your standpoint, you feel as if you did nothing to warrant being abused. From your husband’s position, he may feel justified in the action he took to put you in your place because he felt you did not respect him or his judgement. As the abused person, you tend to amplify certain events, issues and words and see them through your feelings, whereas your husband would downplay what he said or did and blame you for provoking him and point out tradition is on his side.”

  Charmane grudgingly saw Kaathi’s logic. “What you say might be true. I can only tell you my experience.”

  “I fully understand, Charmane. I wanted to make sure you saw your husband’s viewpoint in all of this. Having said that, do you still feel he has abused you unjustifiably?”

  “Yes I do.”

  “I agree with you, he should attend the sessions. I can unequivocally tell you, if he does not attended the sessions, he is not ready to change any portion of his personality.”

  “I was afraid you would say that. His anger is escalating.” Fear showed on Charmane’s face. “I am afraid he will start hitting me in the face.”

  “Do you love him?”

  She hesitated for the briefest moment. “I am not sure any more.”

  “The solution is to leave him.”

  “It is not simple,” countered the woman.

  “At this moment, it is also difficult because there is nothing in place to safeguard you separating from him. I have heard you say you are afraid of your husband. There is another truth and it is you are afraid of what lies beyond married life. The unknown exists outside of your home and in my observation of women with similar troubles, most of you are unwilling to remove yourself from one terrible existence and place yourself in unknown situation. Am I correct?”

  “No,” she stated emphatically and slowly recanted, “Yes, I am fearful of what lies beyond me leaving my husband. I am not sure who will help me. If I left him, I am fearful of what he might do.”

  “I fully understand your worry. Many hang onto a bad marriage or relationship simply because they are uncertain what lies beyond it. My advice is to seek help from Renee or directly from Queen Angela. You need to insist they have something in place for women like yourself. Keep the pressure on them so they will take action to help you. When help is in place, do not hesitate to take advantage of it and flee from your marriage. Any time fear has its grip on you it limits what you are able to do. Fear constricts our mental wellbeing and our abilities to become whom we want to become or need to become.”

  “It leaves me in a precarious position right now. How do I handle it?”

  “Again I am advising you to see Renee or the queen and see how they can help you. The more women approaching them with such problems the quicker the solution will appear. For the present, appease your man as best as you can, and stay out of harm’s way. I apologize I cannot do more than give you advice and pray for you.”

  Charmane nodded. A forlorn look clung to her face. “I understand. At least you have told me where to seek help.”

  Charmane rose and Kaathi embraced her and told her she loved her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Edmund arranged for a meeting with the Elder at the palace. Caleb arrived and they seated themselves after the cordialities.

  “I wanted this time alone with you, Caleb, to talk ruler to ruler. I did not want anyone else around to influence what either of us might say.”

  “I was wondering what this meeting
was about. What is it you want to discuss?”

  “How is the Relationship Sessions going in Kahali?”

  “They are going well for Kaathi. As far as what they are doing for me, they are disturbing my peace. The fact is they are a pain in my ass. My predecessor, Morgan, complained near the end of his life about all the problems laid in his lap. The greatest of these were caused by Batu and Romir the old High Priest. Batu was a revolutionary thinker and was always finding something to change in our tradition and laws. Romir, being a priest, was upholding religious laws and tradition. The two were always in conflict. Morgan was constantly in the middle of it all. He often told me he was sorry he accepted the Elder position. There are times I feel the same way about Kaathi and the sessions and services. People are always coming to me complaining about losing our gods. They say the new society we live in has little or no respect for old traditions.”

  Edmund shook his head. “Do they not realize the changes are for the better?”

  “No. They are angry they have to contend with change and they do not like it. They want stability in their lives and many people are talking negatively about the sessions and services.”

  Edmund took a deep breath before saying, “Damn, the same thing is happening here. Even as a supreme ruler, I hear about all of these disturbances from my people. They never would have had the nerve to say anything to me, when I was a ruthless, dictatorial king. I think they are taking advantage of my new personality. In some ways, the old way I ruled was easier, my word was law and no one dared challenge me. The trouble is I have changed too much to be cruel and dictatorial; consequently, my people come to me and bitch about a host of things I could care less about. It takes all I have in me to control myself. There are days when my stomach is upset. I do not know how long I can keep up the good face and not scream at them.”

  Caleb’s eyes drifted away from the king for a moment. “Have you ever thought of letting one or more of your leaders handle the complaints?”