“About...” My father sighs. “A month and a half.”
“And you didn’t think you should call me and let me know?” I ask shrilly.
“We were going to, Katie, I promise, but I--”
“That’s the reason you wanted me to come to London this weekend, right? So you could tell me?”My parents avoid my gaze.
“This is unbelievable!” I shout. “You did this all behind my back!”
“Hurts, doesn’t it?” Courtney’s eyes are mean.
My blood goes cold. “I-I didn’t--”
Courtney scoffs, rolling her eyes. She stands from the table and clears her plate, disappearing into the kitchen.
“I can’t believe this,” I mumble, throwing my napkin onto the table and standing.
“Where are you going?” My mother asks as I turn to walk away.
"My room, and I’m locking the door!” I shout behind me. I feel like a teenager again, not a twenty three year old. I feel entitled to acting this way, though. How could my parents do this?
I slam the door to my old room and run a hand through my hair. This is unfair, that’s what it is. Completely and utterly unfair.
I sink down onto my bed, breathing in the familiar scent of the comforter. I suddenly catch sight of my hand.
Dylan’s number remains on my palm, neatly written in blue.
Without thinking, I grab my phone and punch the number in.
He answers on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Katie.” My voice comes out strained.
“Katherine,” he says. “You sound upset.”
I disregard his use of my full name. “I...” I sigh. “My parents are getting a divorce.”There’s a pause, and I picture Dylan raising his eyebrows in shock. “A divorce?”“Yeah,” I say. “And they knew for a whole month and didn’t tell me. That’s the reason they invited me home, anyway.” My voice cracks at the end and I squeeze my eyes shut.
“Katie.” The roughness of Dylan’s voice is transmitted through the speaker and it soothes me slightly.
“It just pisses me off, you know?” I say, hot tears starting to run down my face. “And then Courtney...” I shake my head.
Dylan listens patiently. At this moment, I’m so thankful that we’re friends and we don’t hate each other like we did when we first met.
“When...” Dylan clears his throat. “When my mother died, I didn’t find out for six days.”I fall silent, my pulse quickening. There has only been a few instances when Dylan has spoken of his past, and my thirst for information quiets me instantly.
Dylan pauses before continuing. “I was crushed,” he says softly. “I didn’t eat for days, not to mention sleep.”A lump rises in my throat. “Dylan,” I breathe. “I...”
“It’s alright,” he says. “It’s been four years.” He sniffs slightly. “My point is that you’ll get past it, you’ll move on.”“Why didn’t you find out for six days?” I dare to ask.
Dylan is silent for so long I think he might have hung up. He finally speaks. “My sister.”I manage to keep my mouth shut and not question him any further. “Oh,” I say simply.
“Yeah.”
Silence descends once again, and I consider bidding Dylan goodbye. But I can’t bring myself to do it--I want to talk to him as long as I possibly can.
“You’ll never guess who sat next to me on the plane.”
For the next two hours, Dylan and I talk on the phone. At some points we argue, at some we just laugh into the phone, but the subjects of my parents and his mother manage to stay hidden. When we finally hang up, I feel lighter, and I can’t seem to decide the reason why. But I don’t mind.
Chapter Forty Four
“Katie?”
I groan and roll over in bed, my gaze fixing on my closed door. My mother has been knocking on my door for a few minutes now. She’s still as persistent as she has always been.
I drag myself out of bed and unlock the door, clenching my jaw at her.
“It’s eleven thirty, get up,” she says simply.
“I have jet lag,” I say. “It’s eight o’clock for me.”
“Well, you’re going with your sister to the market to get food for tonight. Your grandparents are coming over for dinner.”I cross my arms over my chest. “Why would they want to come and have dinner with their daughter and her soon to be ex-husband?”“That’s enough, Katherine. Now get dressed and meet Courtney in the lobby.”
I grimace at her and shut the door. I step into the shower quickly and run the straightener through my hair before changing into a light turquoise blouse and jeans. I grab my phone and emerge from my room.
“Courtney is waiting in the car,” my mother says from the kitchen.
This was a mistake, coming home. A huge mistake.
I slide into the passenger seat of Courtney’s grey car, avoiding her eye contact. She sniffs slightly and pulls away from the curb.
Awkward silence descends into the car. Courtney makes a point not to make eye contact with me and I finally snap.
"You know, I'm not happy about this either," I say and she glares at me. "Shouldn't we be in this together?"
She laughs without humor. "In what together?"
"The divorce. We're both unhappy about it, shouldn't we at least have each other?"
"You should have thought about that a year ago," she snaps.
"Mom and Dad weren't divorcing a year ago," I rebut.
"Look, you're the one who fucked up, so don't come crying to me now. I'm only doing in this because Mom's been an emotional wreck since they first went to court for the divorce and you've been too busy living in fucking Edinburgh to care."
My jaw drops. "I left because of you!" I shout.
Courtney rolls her eyes. "Don't give me that shit. You left because you're a goddamn whore!""I didn't do it!"
"Oh, please. You know I loved him!"
I bite my lip to keep from crying. Courtney runs a hand through her hair and pulls into a space at the grocery store.
"Let's get this over with," she snaps before getting out of the car.
My chest aches from our fight. We used to be so close, like best friends. What happened to that?
Oh, right. She thinks I did something I didn't do. How could I forget.
Courtney's heels click on the sidewalk as we enter the grocery store.
I follow her around, pushing the cart like her entourage as she tosses different items into it. I sigh, wishing I had never got on that plane to London.
"Go get a jar of raspberry preserves," Courtney commands me. "They're in the next isle over. I'm going to pick out chips."
Without another word, she pushes the cart from me and walks off.
Alone, I walk into the next isle. I skim the shelves for raspberry preserves, bringing my bottom lip between my teeth in concentration.
I finally pull a jar of red jam off the shelf, reading the label in my hands. I hear someone walk up next to me and step to the side, briefly looking up to acknowledge the person.
My blood goes cold and I drop the jar of jam onto the floor, glass shattering everywhere.
Chapter Forty Five
My heart pounds out of my chest as I take a few steps back, realizing I just shattered a jar of preserves.
The boy stares at me, an eyebrow raised.
Jason Myers.
The boy that singlehandedly ruined my life.
"Katie?" He asks, as if he doesn't really believe it's me.
My throat is dry as I take another step back. "Y-yeah," I stammer.
A friendly smile breaks out on his face. "Wow, you look great," he says. "How have you been?"
"Fine," I manage to say.
"Good. How's Courtney?"
"Fine," I repeat.
He looks the same. Same dark eyes and dark hair, with a smile that could melt you. The only difference is that a small scruff of a beard dawns his cheeks and chin.
"I heard you moved to Essex," he continues our conversation. "W
hat's it like there?"
"Nice," I answer. I clear my throat and straighten my posture. "Very nice."
An employee rounds the corner of the isle, taking in the shattered glass and splattered jam. "Oh, Jesus," she mutters under her breath, shaking her head. "Damn teenagers," she says as she turns to retrieve cleaning supplies.
I flush and look down.
"I'd love to have coffee some time?" Jason asks.
I shake my head. "No, I'm leaving Sunday."
"Oh." He nods.
"And even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have coffee with you," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
He raises an eyebrow. "Is that so?"
"You scarred me for the rest of my life and ruined my relationship with my sister," I hiss as the employee returns with a broom and dust pan.
As if on cue, Courtney walks into the isle, an annoyed expression on her face. She stops short when she sees Jason.
"Courtney," he says, turning to her. "What a pleasant surprise."
Her vision flicks from Jason, to me, and then back again.
She regains her composure and straightens up. "Jason," she says curtly. She eyes me.
"You look stunning," he says, looking her up and down.
She sniffs. "Thank you."
It's as if Jason has forgotten everything he's done to us; me more specifically. He's acting like we're all good friends again.
Flashbacks and memories begin to cloud my vision as Jason meets my gaze again, his eyes glinting in the light of the supermarket.
I begin to feel dizzy and I know if I don't get away from Jason soon I'll puke or pass out or both.
"Let's go," I say to Courtney.
She nods and stalks past Jason and the shattered jam, her heels clicking on the polished linoleum.
I follow quickly behind, fighting to keep the memories out of my mind.
We buy the groceries and load the car quickly. I keep looking over my shoulder to make sure Jason isn’t behind us. I fight tears as I’m slammed with memories again and again.
Courtney is silent on the way home. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I’m sure it involves multiple curses towards me.
“Why did you break the jam?” She asks me suddenly, not taking her eyes off the road.
“What?”
“You dropped the jam back there. Why?”
“I didn’t expect to see him.”
Courtney clenches her jaw. “Really.”
“Lizzie, you have to believe me. I didn’t--”
“Don’t call me that,” she snaps. “You’ve lost the right to call me that.”“I’m your sister--”
“I don’t give a damn.” Her gaze is fiery and venomous. “You stole him from me, Katie. As if you thought I wouldn’t find out.”I fall silent. It’s no use. It’s my word against Jason’s, and no doubt Courtney is buying into his.
We arrive home and unload the groceries without speaking. This weekend has been a disaster, I think for the millionth time in twenty four hours.
My mother looks on as Courtney and I put away the food in the kitchen. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she stands with rigid posture.
I feel like screaming.
I make my way to my room as soon as all the groceries are put away. “Your grandparents are coming at seven,” my mother calls after me. “Be ready by then.”I roll my eyes and slam my door. I open a manuscript I took with me and lose myself in it, ignoring the multiple knocks on my door from my mother and father trying to speak to me. I feel like a thirteen year old being banned from going to her friend’s house, cooped up in here, ignoring my parents.
My father knocks now, for the fourth time. I sigh and put down my pen. “What,” I snap and he opens the door, peeking in.
“Katie,” he greets me, stepping into the room. I clench my jaw.
“What are you working on?”
“I’m editing,” I reply.
“Interesting,” he says.
I sigh. “What do you want?”
“I just want to talk to you,” he says, taking a seat on the armchair by my door.
“About what?”
“Everything that’s happened in the past few months,” he says. I stare at him. “You have to understand that your mother and I--”“No, I don’t have to understand anything, Dad. I’m sick of always being the outcast in this family, alright?” I sit up on my bed, anger taking over my system.
“Outcast? When have you ever been the outcast?”
“Oh, please. Ever since Courtney accused me of sleeping with Jason you three have formed a tight little bond and left me out of it. I don’t give a damn anymore.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Katie, you’re being unfair.”
“No, I’m being observant.”
My father sighs and shakes his head. He stands up. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Katie,” he says. “But we are your family, and you can’t change that.”I grimace as he walks out of the bedroom and shuts the door.
At seven o’clock sharp, my mother knocks on my door and steps into my room. “They’re here, come out and say hello,” she says simply before turning and walking out.
I sigh and drag myself out of bed. I check my hair in the mirror and touch up my makeup before walking into the living room.
My grandparents sit on the couch, looking the same as the last time I saw them. My grandmother's silver hair is in curls and plum eyeliner lines her grey eyes. My grandfather wears a red plaid flannel--one of his many flannel shirts I have grown fond of over the years.
"Katie," my grandfather says, smiling as I enter.
"Hi, Grandma, Grandpa," I greet them, leaning in for them to kiss my cheeks.
"Look how beautiful you are, Katherine," my grandmother gushes. "You must have all the Edinburgh boys after you."
Courtney snorts and I glare at her.
"So how have you been?" My grandfather asks as I sit on an armchair adjacent to the couch.
"Alright," I say. "Very busy."
"Oh, I'm sure," my grandmother says. "I hear you're working for Chronicle Publishing!"
"I am." I nod.
"And Courtney?" My grandmother asks. "Where do you plan on working?"
Courtney shrugs. "I'm still in college."
My grandmother purses her lips. "You should still be planning for your future, Lizzie."
He Looked Back Page 20
