Of Flame and Light: A Weird Girls Novel

by Cecy Robson

  Koda steps onto the deck, his ultra-angry persona melting away when he sees Shayna and she skips into his arms. Me and Koda will never be close. We’re too much alike in temper and stubbornness. But he loves my sister, and for that reason alone it’s easy to love him back.

  Shayna kisses his chin. “Doesn’t this look great?” she adds, motioning around.

  He gives me a stiff nod. “Yeah,” he rumbles.

  “Stop it,” I tell him, mimicking his edgy tone. “You’re going to make me blush.”

  He smirks, lifting the broom and garbage can with one hand, while his other presses against Shayna’s back. He guides her into the house, pausing to glance over his shoulder.

  “Hey, Taran,” he says.

  “Yeah?”

  He waits as if he doesn’t want to say what he does, but then meets me with a small smile. “Gem’s going to like what you did.”

  “Thank you,” I say, hoping he’s right.

  He frowns. “You just shouldn’t have waited so fucking long to do it.”

  I grin and waggle a finger at him. “So glad we had this talk, big guy.”

  His deep chuckle doesn’t quite compete with Shayna’s giggle, but it’s there. And maybe it’s what I need to hear.

  I walk to where I left my phone beside my sound system, debating whether to call Gemini. But as desperate as I am to see him, I don’t want to look the part. Instead I turn on the sound system. The satellite station it’s on is called Between the Sheets. Based on the heavy base love ballad that’s currently playing, it should be called, “Songs to Get You Laid and Then Some”.

  I lower the volume so it’s not blasting. The sun has begun to set in the horizon, casting orange and peach light along the pines covering the mountainside. I walk to the edge of the deck to take in the pretty colors, stopping short when that ache begins to build again.

  Emme eases out through the sliding glass doors, trailed closely by Alice. She’s wearing the necklace to keep Alice with her. That doesn’t stop Alice from stomping toward me when she sees me.

  “Ergh,” she says excitedly.

  I smile and force my hand away from my side. Maybe Emme’s right. Maybe I am Alice’s “person”.

  “Hey, Alice,” I say, doing my best not to focus on how much more gaunt she appears.

  “Sorry,” Emme offers meekly. “I know it’s almost time for Gemini to arrive, but I think Alice needs to eat, and I don’t want to disturb you during dinner.”

  “It’s all right.”

  My words cut off when I see the way Alice is staring at the flames flickering from the long stemmed candles. It’s similar to the way she looked at the fire I set when we first found her.

  I’m not sure what to think. At the compound, she could have easily acted and found her peace. God knows there was plenty of shit blazing to choose from. But instead she sat at my feet, eating her squirrel.

  I wish I knew what she was thinking, but mostly, I wish I knew how to help her. Her time on earth is limited, especially in her condition. But as my arm gives an involuntary shudder, and the ache builds deep in my gut, I’m reminded that my days are numbered, too.

  When Vieve first bound me, for lack of better terms, I didn’t feel that pain that threatened to burn me from the inside out. That changed at the Den when Gemini kissed me, and that familiar ache returned. When it diminished following Vieve’s oh-so glorious intervention, I tried to pretend that at least for a time, it was over. But then when I chased after Gemini, I felt it again, and this morning it woke me from sleep. Now that it’s worsening, I’m not so certain I’m all right.

  “Come on Alice,” Emme urges sweetly. “We need to get you something to eat, honey.”

  I almost let them go without a word, but that pain is still there, and feels like it’s escalating. “Em, wait,” I say, when Alice begins to follow.

  She tilts her small angelic face. “Did you need something, Taran?” she asks when I don’t explain right away.

  “Um. Yeah,” I say, trying not to panic. “Could you heal me before you go?”

  She starts to ask something, but the dread blanching her face makes it clear she knows what’s happening. She rushes over, reaching for my hands. “Are you hurting?” she asks.

  “A little,” I say, hoping I’m right. No matter what, I’ll know soon enough when she finds the source of my pain.

  Her pale yellow light surrounds me, fading slightly when she seems to hone in on the right spot. As it brightens, what once was hurt like an infected cut, cools.

  I sigh, grateful for the relief and thankful it’s over.

  It’s what I think, until Emme’s eyes pool with tears. “You’re burning,” she says.

  The world seems to fade away, a heavy silence building like a fortress between us. “No, I’m fine,” I tell her.

  “You’re not,” she stammers. “Taran, your organs—your insides, they aren’t well, even now. I . . . I don’t think you have much longer.”

  I don’t move, unable to breathe.

  Emme carries that light of hope with her, always. Even during the worst of times she’s had it. For her to tell me this much means everything is worse than I could have imagined.

  I want to insist that she’s wrong, that I feel great, because I do now. Except deep down, I recognize she’s right. Something clicks in my brain, connecting the dots to the intermittent pain I’ve been having. This . . . this is really happening.

  I don’t argue or try to make excuses. I don’t think I even try to speak. The words simply spill out, along with all my hope. “I know,” I reply.

  Tears fall down her face in streams as Alice hobbles over. “No, you don’t,” Emme says. “We have to get you to Genevieve—or Makawee.” She starts pulling on my hands. “We have to get you there now.”

  “No,” I tell her, my voice strangely calm. “I’m not leaving.”

  “You don’t understand, Taran. What I felt, it’s like a time bomb narrowing to the final seconds. All I did was pause the countdown.”

  “Taran, Gem’s here,” Shayna calls. She doesn’t notice me or Emme, giggling as Koda pulls her from the doors before she can finish opening them.

  I glance from side to side, debating what to do. But as I hear the front door open and the murmurs drifting closer, there’s only one thing left I know I should do.

  “Go,” I say, urging Emme toward the steps.

  “I can’t,” she says.

  “Emme, please—”

  “You need help,” she insists. “You’re out of time.”

  I cup her sweet face, wishing I could tell I’ll be fine and mean it—that she, and Shayna, and Celia, are going to be all right without me—that they have to be. Because whether I’m here or not, they need to be strong and protect Celia’s baby.

  “You’re out of time,” she repeats, her voice begging me to reconsider.

  I swallow back all the words I want to say, searching for the ones that will make her do as I ask. “Then let me spend it with Gemini,” I whisper. “Please. If these are my last moments, let them be with him.”

  She chokes back a sob, crying as she races down the steps. Alice seems confused, but equally distressed, moaning loudly as she limps cautiously after her.

  I start to wipe my eyes, pausing when I don’t feel the tears that should be there. Maybe I’m in shock.

  Or maybe I don’t want to be remembered as weak.

  The door slides open and Gemini steps out. He’s in jeans and a dark blue T-shirt. For a moment, it’s like he can’t rip his eyes from me. But then he quickly scans the area before returning his stare on mine.

  “Hi,” he says quietly.

  “Hey,” I say, trying to give myself a moment to get myself together.

  “I wasn’t expecting this,” he says when I remain quiet. “If I was, I would have dressed the part.”

  I don’t remember moving. I’m just suddenly there, lifting up on my toes to kiss his lips. If he didn’t bend forward, I would never have managed even in these ta
ll shoes. But he does, allowing me to welcome him like I should have long before this.

  His care and warmth shakes me out of my shock, and those tears that should have fallen in Emme’s presence, burn their way across my eyes. “It’s okay,” I say, my voice quivering. “I mean. how could you have known, right?”

  I start to pull away, but he reaches for my good hand, holding me in place. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  Even if I did want to lie to him, I can’t. So I tell him as much as I’m able. “I just think I waited too long for this.”

  He cocks his head, as if he doesn’t believe me, but allows me to lead him to the table. “Have a seat, okay? Dinner will be ready soon. I made venison the way that you like it.”

  “I know. I could smell it when I pulled into the drive way.”

  He releases my hand and lowers himself into his seat. I know he’s watching me as I reach the small table where I set up the wine. He likes red with venison. I know this, but I can’t think straight. Not now.

  I’m dying, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

  I lift the bottle of white I have chilling, speaking fast because if I stop, I’m sure I’ll fall apart. “I picked up a harvest Riesling for dessert.” I shove the bottle back into the ice bucket, reaching for the red wine beside it. “But I have a red blend if you prefer.”

  Gemini appears behind me, sliding his hands along my waist. He dips his head, pressing a long sweet kiss against my shoulder. “We did wait,” he murmurs. “Too long.”

  More tears fall, stilling him in place. “Taran . . . what is it?”

  “I think Celia and Aric are leaving in the morning.”

  He straightens, likely suspecting there’s more to what I’m saying. “She’s sleeping now,” I add. “She’s been more tired since the baby’s growth spurt. Aric’s with her now, but I can get him if you need to speak to him.”

  “We have a plan in place,” he explains slowly. “But I’m not here to see him.”

  I nod, but the motion is jerky. I don’t want to scare or worry him, but I don’t know how much time I have left, and it’s starting to show in my behavior.

  “When are you leaving?” I ask. “For the hunt? When do you go?”

  I’m speaking too quickly, giving away my fear. But he misinterprets that fear. “This evening, but not until later. I’m meeting Genevieve around midnight on the Nevada side of Tahoe . . .”

  More tears. More regrets. “Taran,” he begins.

  “Please don’t say her name. Not now, okay?” My head falls forward, unable to carry the weight of all the thoughts spinning through my head.

  He pulls closer, like he used to, his hold loving and shielding, as if only his body could protect me from the world.

  We stand there in this position for what seems like too long, but not long enough. The music switches to another ballad, one that’s more recent. But when She’s Got a Way, that really old song by Billy Joel follows, Gemini pulls away.

  I think he means to put some distance between us, instead he regards me with so much sadness, the tears finding their way from my eyes fall faster.

  “Will you dance with me?” he asks.

  I don’t quite answer, wondering how he’ll manage without touching my right hand.

  But then he does.

  It’s my affected hand he reaches for, leading me to him as he curls his free arm around my waist. “This song has always reminded me of you,” he tells me quietly. “You have a way with words and everything else.”

  I laugh though the tears continue to fall, swaying slowly to the beat of the music.

  As I relax against him, I’m reminded how I always wanted to be everything for Gemini.

  Except now I’m too late.

  “I’ll come back,” he tells me. “I swear, I’ll come back to you.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll be here,” I say. I don’t want to tell him the truth, except I feel like I have to. “Tomo . . . I’m not the same anymore.”

  He stops in place, halting our movements. “No. You’re not,” he admits.

  He lifts my right hand, curling my fingers around his as he peels the sleeve down with his opposite hand. His movements are slow, seductive, tugging on the fabric as if stripping me bare.

  His eyes are on mine, his breath a mere whisper, exposing my arm until its bright color clashes against the tones my body. Old and new meet in what once was a startling divide. But it isn’t anymore. It’s just . . . me.

  Those dark eyes that peer down to my soul take me in as if seeing me for the first time. I start to pull away, but he won’t let me. His hold and his words, keeping me in place. “I’ve never stopped needing you,” he rasps, fixing on the glow of my arm as it fades in and out. “And I’ll be damned if I ever stop wanting you.”

  He kisses my knuckles, clasping my arm against his chest, the care he uses as gentle as a man caring for wounded bird.

  It’s too much to see, and even more to bear. “I thought you hated it,” I say before I can stop myself, my chest heaving as I sob. “And I thought you hated me because of it.”

  My cries garble my speech, but he understands them enough. His frown is deep, angry. “Is that what you think?” he asks, drawing me closer and grasping me tight. “Taran, this has never been about you. It’s been about me. How I failed you as your mate, and how you’ve suffered because of my weakness.”

  His voice so rough with emotion, threatens to bring me to my knees. But it’s his confession that glides tears down my cheeks and soaks my chest. “I saw what he did to you. I watched as he tore your limb apart.” His stare drops to my hand. “I heard your screams. I felt your pain. And there wasn’t anything I could fucking do about it.”

  My heart seems to stop, and I’m unsure I can breathe. “You watched . . . everything?”

  His nod barely registers. “I was paralyzed, not unconscious. Neither me, nor my wolves could reach you.” He averts his gaze briefly, his face scrunching with all the agony he feels. “I have the power of three: two wolves, one man, and it wasn’t enough. Taran, I wasn’t enough.”

  My chest caves in and out with how hard I’m crying. I never knew. He never told me. But I can guess why. Nothing is supposed to happen to your mate. Ever. And here it did, and he watched it all.

  “Every time I see it,” he says. “And every time it hurts you, I’m reminded of my failures and how much it cost you.”

  “You didn’t fail me,” I insist. “You’re not the one who did this.”

  “No. But I should have stopped it.” He leans in, pressing his forehead against mine as I weep. “Nothing must harm you with me at your side. Because it did, it destroyed me. You tell me you’re not the same. Neither am I. That doesn’t mean you’re still not everything I desire.” His lips brush gently over mine. “I love you,” he whispers against my mouth. “You’re my perfection.”

  A kiss can warm, incite, and speak words left unsaid. This one does more. It melds us, joining our souls, welding our hearts, and sealing what was once so broken.

  Yet as I slink my arms around his neck I don’t find that peace I so longed for. The burn from my core ignites, searing my organs and making me scream.

  My spine bows back in anguish as hollowed out voices call my name from deep inside my skull.

  Taran!

  Taran!

  They’re shrieking, desperate to have me.

  The pain escalates. I try to wrench free from Gemini. But he won’t let go.

  “Taran—Taran!” he yells.

  The pain accelerates. My time has come.

  “Go!” I groan, struggling to suppress the rising flames inside me. “It’s my fire—you have to let go!”

  My body trembles like a spaceship seconds from taking off. Gemini holds tight, howling for the wolves. The force of the building power sends us spinning across deck, slamming us through the railing.

  Gemini turns us in mid-air, taking the brunt of the impact as we crash on the ground.

  The pain increases.
>
  So do the screams in my head.

  “Taran!”

  “Taran!”

  “Taran!”

  There’s yelling, hard feet pounding from every direction. I hear my sisters’ voices and the wolves.

  But I also hear Paula, Merri, and Fiona.

  The voices fade in and out, along with my vision. Something detonates and I’m sent soaring across the yard in an explosion of power.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Light pushes against my closed lids. I expect the summer sun, along with its warmth. But as I pry open my too heavy to be normal eyelids, I don’t see sun. I see feet. Very hairy feet.

  The feet move quickly aside as Emme’s healing light recedes and Merri rams her face into mine. “She’s coming to,” she says. “Thank Christ, I thought she was dead.”

  I push up on my arms wondering where I am, and why I’m so cold.

  Emme slips her hands from my face and falls back to sit on her knees. I shove down the sleeve of my dress, trying to hang onto my body heat. As my vision adjusts to the dimness, I realize I’m in a cave.

  Okay, not really a cave, more like a very dark, very bland stone enclosure. Runes in varying patterns are carved into the stone floor while the smooth gray slate that makes up the walls and ceiling await unmarred.

  Aside from the carvings and the torches fixed on the wall every few feet, there’s not much else here.

  I place my hand on my side, searching for that ache. The pain is gone, but I’m stiff and need help standing.

  Shayna and Emme pull me up by my arms as Alice shuffles over. She seems scared, not that I blame her. In fact, I’m just about there. But it’s the Lessers from my class, and how they appear at a loss as they wait for me to speak, that momentarily suppresses my fear and adds to my confusion.

  “What happened?” I ask.

  Emme and Shayna exchange glances, but no one answers right away. “What happened?” I ask again, this time louder.

  Shayna shrugs at Emme, likely guessing there’s no sense in sparing me. “You know how trouble always seems to find us, T?” she asks. “How we always seem to fall into a pit of bad, nasty, evil—Oh, and body parts, too?”